OOTP finances spoof.... hmmm :)

[TC Dale]

I was posting on the Baseball Maelstrom's board, and I decided to take the time of the season, Tax Day, and finances within every GM's OOTP 5 team.. and took a humourous slant with my post as the Phillies GM.

Apologies to Joe Stallings and Markus Heinsohn for their inclusion in the fiction.


"Yeah, I felt so bad when Hennessey went down... That kid could throw the ball!" TC squinted at his laptop while mopping his forehead.

Looking at the phone, he continues. " So, you know Commissioner Orr, I heard that you had a slight smile on your face when your counterpart in the AL had a certain ex-Phillie fall to an injury!"
He smiled as his fingers flew over the keys hammering out another flaming email to an certain San Diego owner who shall be nameless.....for now!

As TC continued his bantering at the Commish for slights to the Philly organization, like continued support for rights for Phillie Phanatic... among other lesser unimportant issues.. a polite firm knock on the mahogany door interrupts.

"Yes? What is it? ....No, not you Commish. No, I am not going to transfer the team to the AL while you are gone, I will be good I promise!" He waves impatiently at the open door..."Come in fer Gawd's sake! It isn't Good Friday for nothing! I won't be in a good mood long!"

A bespectacled administrative assistant makes a motion to the door, eyes wide... "Sir? You have special guests! They really would like to see you...! Shall I let them in?"

TC wrinkled his brow and glared at the frumpy female. "Do I have to do your thinking AND mine, Jeez....where do I get these people?" Slamming the phone down, he clomps to the front of the desk and motions for her to shut the door.

"Now, who is it? And why do they want to speak to me?" TC smoothed his silver-blonde hair back and waited.

"Well, I am not sure... something about April 15th and past taxes?" She backed slowly to the door. "They really seemed most insistent about your profits disappearing this season with no explanation!"

The Phillies GM jaw's flopped open. "IRS? Here? Why? How am I going to explain the missing money?" He opened the door and glad-handed the two dark-suited gentlemen. "Welcome sirs! Come into my office....and let's talk business!" Motioning to his admin assistant, " Please get them something to sip while we talk, will you please?"

The gentlemen nodded their agreement and sat down in the overstuffed chairs that faced TC's large executive desk. "Mr. Dale we are here to speak to you about some missing funds from the Phillie organization..that was on the season ending balance sheet, but are no longer on your latest report..."

"Gentlemen, I understand your questions about these missing funds. I can tell you that we had some "upgrading" issues this season that a German programmer found a loophole and somehow withdrew our missing funds!"

The agents leaned forward at the news. "German? Programmer? This is the first time we have heard this...What is this man's relationship with the Phillies?"

TC pulls out his hankerchief and mops his brow. "Well, it isn't just Philadelphia. It is all Major League Baseball! Somehow, in late March we found ourselves ALL short money for no apparent reason!" We complained to the Co-Commissioners, but they said it was out of all our hands! Really!"

One agent kept scribbling." And how can we find this programmer? Is he a double agent?" He looked over his notebook at the GM. "Is it possible we have German infiltration in our national game?"

TC smiled, "Well, I can say for a fact they have a HQ here in the States as well. Someone named Joe Stallings. He may just be a front for the German organization, laundering money..."

The two agents locked eyes and then unsmiling, continued. " Atlanta, GA area isn't he? Well, we can take care of that. Seems he just left a fulltime job to become President of .400 Software Studios in the last year..."

TC looked at his laptop. "eh....what is this? An email..."

The two agents got up and closed their notepads, and stared at the GM. "We will expect more information on this Mr. Stallings, and .400 Studios in our next meeting Mr. Dale... It seems there is something going on there in Atlanta, Arizona, Germany, Australia, Great Britain, all over the world...and we aim to get to the bottom of it."

They nodded curtly and left noiselessly.

"Well, that went well.......not!" TC leaned on his elbows and looked at his Phillie organization. "Sosa? SOSA? What ? Batting under 250? My executive lunch room....eh? 3000 dollars? I am so gonna kill him....."

The phone rings. "Yes, this is TC , what's it to you! Oh, yes... I threw them off on a wild goose chase. Hmm? No, they have an idea, but I led them to Atlanta. Something about a Joe Stallings? Yes, they knew of him. No, they know about Germany, but have no idea of where....NO I haven't said anything. Besides, Joe is in a heap of trouble now. Those ISA/CIA/IRS types don't give up easy." Laughter fills the room, and TC continues." No, by the time they figure out that OOTP is really an drug, and addictive as a Philly cheese sandwich, you will rule the financial world, sir. No problem, Markus. I will talk to you next week. Enjoy your vacation!"

Can there be something to this? Hmm...the plot thicks.

[HalfManHalfAmazing]

"I Confuse"

[Anonymous Ghost]

Well that's 3 minutes of my life that I'm not getting back.