The Revolving Door Pitcher

JZ Temple · 03-13-2003, 10:15 AM

[The basics of the following did happened in OOTP just as related. The story was embellished just a bit for your enjoyment

]

I created a fictional league called the Temple Association (no ego problems here) and selected the Orlando Pilots to manage myself, leaving the computer to run the other 23 teams. For convenience sake I started the league's history in 2001.

In the initial draft I misunderstood the importance of drafting gold star standouts, instead drafting a passle of blue star "stars of tomorrow". While this did give the Pilots a Prospect rating of 644

I knew I was going to have trouble the first few years. Thank goodness I also drafted Andreas Farias, my three gold star starting pitcher.

So the first season didn't go too well. Mr. Farias, who's "Needs Winning Team" rating is in the affirmative, starting blowing games toward the end of the season when it became apparent to him that not only was he not going to get that Temple Assn World Series ring for his troubles, but the Pilots were going to be cellar-dwellers for some seasons to come.

When it came time to extend his contract, which was in the millions and expired at the end of that first season, Mr. Farias demanded a huge increase and several years guaranteed employment. Since Pilot Stadium was only staying solvent by hosting swap meets on the away dates, I felt Mr. Farias was being a bit, well, demanding and so I countered with a lower offer. After another round of negotiations, he stamped out of my virtual office declaring that I had blown my chance. Good riddence, me thinks.

At the start of the 2002 season, in the Free Agent negotiations, I find that practically no decent player wants to play on a team that lost a mere 108 games last season

. As the negotiations days run out, I am desperate for a quality starter. I look though the list again and see... "A. Farias". Hmm. Well, let's see what he wants... crap, nearly every last penny I have in the payroll. Well, I do need a good starter, so I sign him for two years, our previous animosity apparently a thing of the past.

The second honeymoon lasts about as long as the first. By mid season the Pilots are twenty games behind and the parking lot now hosts the permanent Pilot Stadium Flea Market where the cheapest items include the rookie season cards of just about every Pilot major leaguer

. Mr. Farias once again is blowing every start, apparently too distracted by the booing of the few fans who still show up for the games. I have some promising rookies to bring up, but no room on the roster. I have my deputy GM call Farias to notify him of the wonderful opportunities awaiting him at our AAA affiliate in Dubuque, but a responding call from Mr. Farias's agent lets us know that Andreas is allergic to corn pollen, so Iowa is out, and also that he has a phobia about cactus needles (no Tucson) and finally that being near large amounts of falling water brings back unpleasant memories to Andreas of a childhood incident involving a shower stall and some duct tape. Sensing that this last reference is intimating that he has no interest in playing at single A at Buffalo, I reluctantly agree to his release and have the contents of his locker taken over to the Pilot Stadium Flea Market; I have to try to get back a little of the cash I have to give him for the second season of his contract!

The Pilots finished the season with less than 100 losses; one less

. The city decided that it has better uses for Pilot Stadium and took it over. After a few emotional fits of public weeping, the team convinced the city to provide an alternate site; the team is given a disused field near a toxic waste dump. At least there is plenty of parking.

The Pilots started the 2003 season with no cash, no free agents, and due to being over budget, lost some promising newcomers. Opening day at the dump was sad and the crowd both left early, but afterwards a mysterious stranger appeared in the GM's office with a five million dollar check (well, you'd use the editor too at this point!) and the promise to raise fan interest in the city. Well, I told him, to do that he'd need either a miracle or some clever C++ programing... but he was as good as his word and the next day the Factoid in USA Today noted that Pilot fan support had risen by 30 points. Funny how they can assign numbers to those things

.

Still, the Pilots had to live up to the fan's expectations, so that meant shopping for some decent pitching. A quick check of the free agents list revealed that the only decent starting pitcher was (wait for it...) Andreas Farias. Now I know how Bill Murray felt. So, reluctantly, I signed him. Maybe third time is the charm...

So April turned into May, May into June, and the Pilot's Team ERA into... well, you can guess. On Memorial Day weekend Farias blew his ninth game. Now, it's personal. If I cut him, I throw away more money, and I won't give him the satifaction. So I contact the worst team in the league (next to us, of course) and offer Farias for their bench warming, over the hill, barely breathing utility infielder. After a quick check for hidden cameras or Jamie Kennedy they agree. This time, Mr. Farias, you can torment some other team!

Four days later Farias pitches a three-hitter complete game, finds a four leaf clover in the infield, and is named Most Unappreciated Star of the League...

... and his jock strap quickly sells for a fortune at the Pilot Stadium Flea Market.

William4192 · 03-13-2003, 10:37 AM

Very funny. nice read.

rjb182 · 03-13-2003, 12:33 PM

LOL! Cool story.

And some people doubt that baseball is the world's greatest game... where else could you find such drama?

03-13-2003, 10:15 AM	#1
JZ Temple Minors (Single A) Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 57	The Revolving Door Pitcher [The basics of the following did happened in OOTP just as related. The story was embellished just a bit for your enjoyment ] I created a fictional league called the Temple Association (no ego problems here) and selected the Orlando Pilots to manage myself, leaving the computer to run the other 23 teams. For convenience sake I started the league's history in 2001. In the initial draft I misunderstood the importance of drafting gold star standouts, instead drafting a passle of blue star "stars of tomorrow". While this did give the Pilots a Prospect rating of 644 I knew I was going to have trouble the first few years. Thank goodness I also drafted Andreas Farias, my three gold star starting pitcher. So the first season didn't go too well. Mr. Farias, who's "Needs Winning Team" rating is in the affirmative, starting blowing games toward the end of the season when it became apparent to him that not only was he not going to get that Temple Assn World Series ring for his troubles, but the Pilots were going to be cellar-dwellers for some seasons to come. When it came time to extend his contract, which was in the millions and expired at the end of that first season, Mr. Farias demanded a huge increase and several years guaranteed employment. Since Pilot Stadium was only staying solvent by hosting swap meets on the away dates, I felt Mr. Farias was being a bit, well, demanding and so I countered with a lower offer. After another round of negotiations, he stamped out of my virtual office declaring that I had blown my chance. Good riddence, me thinks. At the start of the 2002 season, in the Free Agent negotiations, I find that practically no decent player wants to play on a team that lost a mere 108 games last season . As the negotiations days run out, I am desperate for a quality starter. I look though the list again and see... "A. Farias". Hmm. Well, let's see what he wants... crap, nearly every last penny I have in the payroll. Well, I do need a good starter, so I sign him for two years, our previous animosity apparently a thing of the past. The second honeymoon lasts about as long as the first. By mid season the Pilots are twenty games behind and the parking lot now hosts the permanent Pilot Stadium Flea Market where the cheapest items include the rookie season cards of just about every Pilot major leaguer . Mr. Farias once again is blowing every start, apparently too distracted by the booing of the few fans who still show up for the games. I have some promising rookies to bring up, but no room on the roster. I have my deputy GM call Farias to notify him of the wonderful opportunities awaiting him at our AAA affiliate in Dubuque, but a responding call from Mr. Farias's agent lets us know that Andreas is allergic to corn pollen, so Iowa is out, and also that he has a phobia about cactus needles (no Tucson) and finally that being near large amounts of falling water brings back unpleasant memories to Andreas of a childhood incident involving a shower stall and some duct tape. Sensing that this last reference is intimating that he has no interest in playing at single A at Buffalo, I reluctantly agree to his release and have the contents of his locker taken over to the Pilot Stadium Flea Market; I have to try to get back a little of the cash I have to give him for the second season of his contract! The Pilots finished the season with less than 100 losses; one less . The city decided that it has better uses for Pilot Stadium and took it over. After a few emotional fits of public weeping, the team convinced the city to provide an alternate site; the team is given a disused field near a toxic waste dump. At least there is plenty of parking. The Pilots started the 2003 season with no cash, no free agents, and due to being over budget, lost some promising newcomers. Opening day at the dump was sad and the crowd both left early, but afterwards a mysterious stranger appeared in the GM's office with a five million dollar check (well, you'd use the editor too at this point!) and the promise to raise fan interest in the city. Well, I told him, to do that he'd need either a miracle or some clever C++ programing... but he was as good as his word and the next day the Factoid in USA Today noted that Pilot fan support had risen by 30 points. Funny how they can assign numbers to those things . Still, the Pilots had to live up to the fan's expectations, so that meant shopping for some decent pitching. A quick check of the free agents list revealed that the only decent starting pitcher was (wait for it...) Andreas Farias. Now I know how Bill Murray felt. So, reluctantly, I signed him. Maybe third time is the charm... So April turned into May, May into June, and the Pilot's Team ERA into... well, you can guess. On Memorial Day weekend Farias blew his ninth game. Now, it's personal. If I cut him, I throw away more money, and I won't give him the satifaction. So I contact the worst team in the league (next to us, of course) and offer Farias for their bench warming, over the hill, barely breathing utility infielder. After a quick check for hidden cameras or Jamie Kennedy they agree. This time, Mr. Farias, you can torment some other team! Four days later Farias pitches a three-hitter complete game, finds a four leaf clover in the infield, and is named Most Unappreciated Star of the League... ... and his jock strap quickly sells for a fortune at the Pilot Stadium Flea Market.

03-13-2003, 10:37 AM	#2
William4192 All Star Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Florida Posts: 1,625	Very funny. nice read. __________________ What is this about Rhode Island? It is neither Road or Island. Come check out the PBA. http://www.pioneerbaseballassociation.com Or email at pbacommish@pioneerbaseballassociation.com

03-13-2003, 12:33 PM	#3
rjb182 Bat Boy Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: New England Posts: 8	LOL! Cool story. And some people doubt that baseball is the world's greatest game... where else could you find such drama?