[pauwoo]

April 1st, 2080
Opening Day in Major League Baseball – basically a national holiday… only, this year, it will commence without and appearance from Miami as we are set to open our 2080 campaign, on the road, on the 2nd…

2B Sammie Fregoso, 2079 Gold Glove recipient and newest member of the defending champion San Diego Chargers, made his presence felt during his first game in the baby blue and canary yellow – he finished 4 for 4 with a solo-HR, 2 runs, and 2 walks in San Diego’s 6-5 loss against the San Francisco Seals. 3B Dontrell Gay helped his Los Angeles Kings get off to a solid start to their 2080 campaign with a 3 for 5 day that included a 3-run homer, 4 total RBIs and 2 runs in a 7-5 win over the newly relocated Denver Miners – you can take the club out of Minnesota, but you can’t take the Minnesota out of the club.

April 2nd – April 3rd, 2080
Philadelphia 76ers (0-0, .000, t-1st NL East) @ Miami United (0-0, .000, t-1st)
We’ll start 2080 off at home against the Palmer-free Philadelphia 76ers who, despite signing Otis Murry in the offseason, don’t seem like the same club without Parker in the lineup. Even without Parker, the baseball punditry has the 76ers penciled in as the likeliest team to win our division… not sure what kind of witchcraft math they had to do to come up with that prediction.

1 of 162: Cliff Slavinski (0-0, 0.00) @ Rad Taylor (0-0, 0.00)
Win, 4-2. Rad allows only 2 runs over 8 innings, fans 5, and new guy, Hamza McDonnell, finished 3 for 4 at the plate with an RBI and a run.

Elsewhere: Shawna’s Denver-based ballclub sure looks a lot like her Minnesota-based ballclub so far… the have fallen to 0-2 after SP Trevor Dotson went the distance against them for L.A., allowing only two runs and fanning 10 batters. LF Lloyd Daniels went off for the Kings – 4 for 4, 2 doubles, a HR, 3 RBIs, and 3 runs for the 29-year old former Bulldog from Fresno State. It’s early and therefore meaningless, but LA looks good at the start of 2080 – they will be a formidable contender it seems.

2 of 162: Grimm McGowan (0-0, 0.00) @ Kordell Littles (0-0, 0.00)
Loss, 4-2. Kordell was iffy in giving up 4 runs over 7.1 innings of work and Philadelphia’s RF Rayon Tierney was the difference-maker in the top of the 4th when he batted the go-ahead run in on a single.

April 4th – April 7th, 2080
St. Louis Rams (0-2, .000, 6th NL East) @ Miami United (1-1, .500, 4th NL East)
The Rams made some low-key power moves in the offseason with regards to their pitching staff – it now has the look of a top-five unit. Unfortunately, they completely ignored their offense and it looks, well, trashy. Dumpster fire-ish. Smart money says they finish 5th in the NL East again.

3 of 162: John Aivazian (0-0, 0.00) @ Radoslav Borovsky (0-0, 0.00)
Loss, 3-1. Not ideal. We scored a run in the bottom of the 1st but Aivazian held us in check for the rest of the way. Radoslav goes 6 innings, let’s three runners make it home.

Elsewhere: SP Michael Brisk, still plying his trade in the Bay Area, hurled 7 shutout innings in Golden State’s 4-0 win over the Vancouver Giants – he also fanned 9 batters and his bullpen, obviously, managed to preserve the shutout. CF Ethan Mullens went 1 for 4 in the loss – he is hitting .313 with 4 RBIs so far though. Also, 3B Pepper Grant, hit a solo-HR in the top of the 13th inning to put the Los Angeles Galaxy up for good in their 4-3 win over the Portland Timbers – he also struck out 4 times in the game – but, who cares about that?!?

4 of 162: Cosmo Puente (0-0, 0.00) @ Mirko Samsonenko (0-0, 0.00)
Loss, 5-4. Rueben Johnson hit a 2-run homer, Mirko got teed off on, and, now, we are off to an inauspicious start in 2080. It’s a bummer.

Elsewhere: CF Norris Flaherty hit 2 jacks in the New York Jets 6-2 win over the Atlanta Falcons, 1B Benjamin Compton hit two of his own in Houston’s 7-1 win over the San Francisco Seals, and Tom Franzone hit his first ding dong of the year in Pittsburgh’s 10-5 loss, at home, to the Brooklyn Citizens. You can’t win them all. Oh, and file under: it’s early, but… Tony Voorhis already has three HRs in 2080 and his Phoenix Suns are running roughshod over the competition at 3-1 so far this year. That his third homer came in today’s loss to the Los Angeles Kings is of little consequence… what was consequential, however, is the Otto Isaac went 2 for 3 with 2 RBIs, 2 runs, and 2 walks in LA’s 9-6 victory.

5 of 162: Alan Barrientos (0-0, 0.00) @ Murray Wagner (0-0, 0.00)
Win, 7-2. Finally. Wagner went 7, allowed 2, and fanned 5, and Anaconda came alive in a 2 for 3 performance with 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, and 2 runs.

6 of 162: Austin Joshua (0-0, 0.00) @ Rad Taylor (1-0, 2.25)
Loss, 7-4. Damn. 1-3 against these guys, at home, and we lost the last game in extras… Rad allowed 12 hits and 4 runs over 8 innings of work, OH HONG went 3 for 3 with an RBI, and Hamza went 4 for 6 with a double, an RBI, and a run… and we still lost.

April 8th – April 10th
Brooklyn Citizens (4-3, .571, 2nd NL East) @ Miami United (2-4, .333, 6th NL East)
It’s always a pleasure when Brooklyn comes to town – except when we mired in an early-season funk and they are playing some rip-roaring, lights-out baseball. The general pre-season consensus was that Brooklyn, in aggregate, would end up being the worst of the NL East – but, we’re not there yet, and, right now, they are better than we are – plain & simple. We need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start throwing some haymakers.

Elsewhere: CF Page Sommers, of the Jacksonville Jaguars, was named PoTW in the American League – he hit .542 with 3 jacks and 7 riblets, and LF Tony Voorhis, despite flexing the eggplant purple and burnt orange, was named PoTW in the National League – he hit .500 for the Suns with 4 homers and 13 RBIs. We were ranked 20th in the first edition of the weekly power ranking. Seems generous.

7 of 162: Matthew Krebs (0-1, 3.98) @ Kordell Littles (0-1, 4.91)
Win, 8-1. Kordell was better in his 2nd appearance – 7.2 innings, 1 earned, and 6 K’s, and Anaconda went 2 for 4 with 3 RBIs and a run that came on a suicide squeeze.

Elsewhere: 1B Frodo Gonzales (SEA) hit a GRAND SLAM in the top of the 8th that tied things up for Seattle at 7-up and Palmer Parker hit a run-scoring single in the next frame that put them up for good in their 10-7 win over the Los Angeles Galaxy… Seattle is 3-4 so far this year – with Palmer Parker and Aitor Cubas in the lineup… that’s bananas.

8 of 162: Hunter Larson (0-1, 8.44) @ Radoslav Borovsky (0-1, 4.50)
Win, 3-1. Radoslav was serviceable over 6 innings of work and racked up 5 K’s while OH HONG busied himself by going 3 for 4 with a double and an RBI. He also pulled his hamstring and will miss 3-weeks while he recovers on the IL. SMH.

9 of 162: Les Trost (1-0, 4.50) @ Mirko Samsonenko (0-1, 9.64)
Loss, 8-3. We got Mirko’d… again. Saucerman went 1 for 2 with a 2-run homer… everyone else sucked.

April 12th – April 14th
Miami United (4-5, .444, 6th NL East) @ Montreal Alouettes (5-5, .500, 2nd NL East)
Already 9 games into the season, sitting idle at 4-5, and headed to Montreal for our first road trip of the season. Here we’ll be donning the pink tops for the first time of the season against the new-look Alouettes as we desperately try to keep our head above water during the early stages of the 2080 campaign. Montreal was picked to finish ahead of us in the NL East, so, on somebody’s piece of paper, they’re better than we are. I’m of the opinion that the baseball punditry was influenced by Montreal’s new uniforms… and not by their collection of talent. I guess we’re about to find out.

10 of 162: Murray Wagner (1-0, 2.57) @ Hudson Dorsch (0-2, 4.61)
Win, 10-5. Aris continues to stay hot – he gave us a 2 for 3 day with another HR, 3 RBIs, and 2 runs, and Norton Manning, our new Catcher, hit 2 doubles and drove in 3 runs. Murray only made it through 4.2 innings in this one and was lifted during the 5th frame after doling out his 6th free pass of the day.

11 of 162: Rad Taylor (1-0, 3.38) @ Joseph Grace (0-1, 2.51)
Loss, 2-1. Ugh… Rad was stellar – 8 innings, 3 hits, 2 runs, 6 K’s – but our offense was not. We got doubles from Weaver and Magee, a SAC FLY from Magee drove in our only run, and Hamza got caught with his hand in the honey pot. When we get performances like these from our starter – we gotta get the W.

Elsewhere: Phoenix received a bit of good news today as their left fielder Tony Voorhis accepted a $26,400,000-a-year offer that will keep him in the burnt orange and eggplant purple for 3 years. So far this season, Voorhis has recorded a .436 batting average with 17 hits, 4 home runs, 14 RBIs, 10 runs scored and a .500 OBP.

12 of 162: Kordell Littles (1-1, 3.00) @ Elijah Rizzuto (1-0, 3.75)
Win, 2-0. Kordell went 8, allowed none, and fanned 3, Aris went 4 for 4 with 2 riblets, and Harvey Allen picked up his 3rd save of the season… all in a day’s work. We head out to Pittsburgh next to find out if the Pink Tops will bring us the same type of luck we got out of them in Montreal.

Note: Okay, so, at 6-6 it’s not the best start in the world… but, we’ll take it. Because, well, we don’t really have a choice – the results have been recorded into our permanent record so they’re there to stay. Kordell is leading the team with 2 wins and a 1.96 ERA, Hamza is hitting .415, and Aris Anaconda is hitting .326 with 3 bombs and 15 RBIs… and, we’re sitting in 3rd on the NL East table behind Pittsburgh & Brooklyn who are at 7-5 & 7-6 respectively. So far, and, yes, I know it’s early, Golden State and Carolina are the class of the AL – both are gunning to be the first team to record 10 wins, and the San Francisco Seals have jumped out to a surprising 8-3 start – they’re first in the NL West with LA a game behind and Phoenix at 3 games back… Otto Isaac is back – he’s leading the league in HRs at 6, is hitting .294, and has 15 RBIs… good news for L.A. and the league as he won the NL PoTW honors for the first time in what feels like years... And, we are now sitting at 11th on the weekly power ranking after back-to-back series wins over Brooklyn and Montreal.