[Westheim]

Raccoons (16-16) vs. Scorpions (17-15) – May 6-8, 2030

Tied for ninth in runs scored, and third in runs allowed in their league, the Scorpions would probably be even tougher costumer than the Rebels, who had already flummoxed the Raccoons on the previous weekend. You also had to score early on the Scorpions, who had the best bullpen in the Federal League, with a 2.17 ERA for relievers. They also had the best defense. These teams had also met last year, when the Critters had won two of three games.

Projected matchups:
Mark Roberts (2-2, 6.64 ERA) vs. Eddie Krumm (0-5, 4.65 ERA)
Jose Menendez (4-1, 3.58 ERA) vs. Justin Kent (2-3, 5.12 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (1-1, 3.38 ERA) vs. Mel Lira (4-1, 2.60 ERA)

These were all right-handed. We would miss another right-hander, former Raccoons farmhand Reese Kenny (3-1, 2.86 ERA), who had once been included in the Mark Roberts / Jon Gonzalez trade with the Bayhawks, had not fared well with them from 2024 through 2026, and had only resurfaced last year with the needy Scorpions, going 8-8 with a 4.41 ERA then.

For those counting dimes and pennies and worried about unproductive expenditures – there were $7,286,000 and change left on Mark Roberts’ contract. Barring unforeseen improvement, he would probably get slided to the end of the rotation facilitating the upcoming off day on Thursday and thus not get the regular start against the Loggers on Sunday.

Game 1
SAC: CF Vermillion – SS Crabtree – LF Stross – 2B Stackhouse – 1B Tutt – 3B Westmoreland – C J. Rivera – RF Blossom – P Krumm
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – RF Hereford – 1B Harenberg – 3B Nunley – LF Jamieson – CF Mora – C Pizzo – P Roberts

Besides Doug Stross and the bench-riding Justin McAllester, who both still hailed from the thick of the Scorpions’ always-choking pretend-dynasty, this was an almost completely revamped lineup. Either team only had a single the first time through; Matt Nunley had the Coons’ in his relentless chase for the franchise hits trophy, but was immediately doubled off by Jamieson going 6-4-3, while Jesus Rivera had a leadoff single for Sacramento after Roberts retired the first six in order. Rivera moved up on a bunt by Krumm and a wild pitch, but Mark Vermillion (who I had tried to trade for before) struck out to leave him at third base, after already whiffing to begin the game. Matthew Crabtree and Tim Stackhouse (who I had wanted to draft so badly back then when) hit singles in the fourth, but were stranded with Zach Tutt whiffing and Roberts handling Gavin Westmoreland’s grounder for the third out in the inning. The Stingers were right back on Roberts in the fifth, leadoff single by Rivera, then a double to left-center by John Blossom. Those were then the tying runs, following a 2-run homer by Harenberg in the bottom of the fourth. Roberts struck out the overmatched Krumm, got Vermillion to pop out to Jamieson in shallow left, and Hereford handled Crabtree’s harmless fly to keep the Scorpions off the board. Roberts finally had a clean sixth, in the bottom of which the Coons actually were back on base. Stalker opened with a walk, moved up on Hereford’s groundout, and the Scorpions walked Harenberg intentionally after his earlier exploits. Nunley singled to right, though, loading the bags for Jamieson with one down, and Krumm helped out with the scoring when he threw a wild pitch. Which was good – because Jamieson struck out and Mora grounded out to Crabtree, and they didn’t score on their own. Instead it was 3-0 in Roberts’ favor. “Launchpad” made it into the eighth, rung up PH Jamie Woodward for his 10th K in the game, then got socked a long one by Vermillion on his 103rd and final pitch. With Ricky Ohl DL’ed, the Critters went to Surginer, who promptly allowed another solo homer to Stross before whiffing Stackhouse to end the inning. We barely eeked out an insurance run in the bottom 8th; Harenberg drew a leadoff walk, was run for by Baldwin, and Abel Mora barely got him across with a 2-out bloop single. Josh Boles got the game over with, striking out the side in the ninth inning. 4-2 Coons! Harenberg 1-2, 2 BB, HR, 2 RBI; Nunley 2-3, BB; Roberts 7.1 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 10 K, W (3-2);

Maybe we won’t slide Roberts then…!

Game 2
SAC: CF Vermillion – SS Crabtree – LF Stross – 2B Stackhouse – C Hearn – 3B Barlow – 1B Blossom – RF Woodward – P Kent
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – RF Hereford – 1B Harenberg – 3B Nunley – LF Jamieson – C Tovias – CF Baldwin – P Menendez

Sacramento scored an unearned run in the opening inning, charged this way for a Ramos error, but then again Menendez wasn’t exactly axing the Scorpions away, allowed two base hits, and then walked Jake Barlow, a .198 batter, with three on and two outs. Blossom grounded out to Harenberg to strand three. Ramos opened the bottom 1st with a double, but jammed his thumb sliding into second base and had to come out of the game right away. Hereford moved into the infield, and Wilson Rodriguez entered to play rightfield and bat first. Harenberg would drove in Wilson with a 2-out single, with Nunley and Jamieson also getting on base afterwards, and Justin Kent plated the go-ahead run with a wild pitch before Tovias grounded out; all this only for the Scorpions to roar right back and whack Menendez for four hits and two runs in the top 2nd. Woodward, Vermillion, and Crabtree all singled, and Doug Stross hit an RBI double before they stranded runners in scoring position with a Stackhouse pop and Kyle Hearn whiffing. One o’ those games, huh?

Bottom 3rd, the bags were full with no outs. Hereford legged out an infield roller for a single, and then Kent just filled them up with nary a strike issued to Harenberg and Nunley. Jamieson, slumping, was down to .217, but just held still enough to draw the third consecutive walk, which pushed in Hereford with the tying run. Tovias then popped out and Baldwin hit into a double play. Yup, one o’ those games! – And then, all of a sudden, the weirdness died down. The middle innings were wholly uneventful, and Menendez got through seven without allowing another run. Well, there was one exception to the uneventfulness; in the fifth, the Coons had Nunley on first and Jamieson hit a 2-out double to left-center. The Coons sent Nunley, but he got thrown out at home plate. Bottom 7th, Justin McAllester in centerfield couldn’t reach a Stalker fly that became a 1-out double. Last chance to make Menendez a winner! Hereford flew out to McAllester and Harenberg popped out, so that was a nah on this proposition. Top 8th, Fleischer got one out, but put Hearn on base with a 1-out double. With Jake Barlow up, the Coons went to the left-hander Garavito, who got a grounder. Hearn moved to third, then looked like a score when Blossom hit a ball into the hole on the left side. Tim Stalker pounced, corralled it, spun around and threw blindly to first – and BEAT him!! That’s what a shortstop with three Gold Gloves looks like! The Scorpions also stranded the go-ahead run on third base in the top of the ninth, then against Chris Wise and with the run potentially unearned after Jesus Rivera had reached on a Nunley error. Billy Brotman actually got the third out from Doug Stross. Brotman had come on in a double switch with Abel Mora, who was leading off the ninth and hit a single off righty Alan Mays. Rodriguez bunted the winning run to second base, Stalker flew out to ex-Coon Omar Alfaro in right, moving up the runner, and Rich Hereford ended the game with a crystal clear single to left-center. 4-3 Furballs. Ramos 1-1, 2B; Hereford 2-5, RBI; Nunley 0-1, 3 BB; Jamieson 1-2, BB, 2B, RBI; Mora 1-1; Menendez 7.0 IP, 8 H, 3 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 3 K;

Now for the bad news – Alberto Ramos would be unavailable for the rest of the week after spraining his thumb on the ugly slide in the first inning. He was not likely to miss much longer than that, so the Raccoons would not DL him and instead right it out with a short bench for the next few games…

Ramos had been the only Critter to last this long without not appearing in a game.

Game 3
SAC: CF Vermillion – SS Crabtree – LF Stross – 2B Stackhouse – C Hearn – 1B Tutt – 3B Westmoreland – RF O. Alfaro – P Lira
POR: SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – LF Hereford – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – C Tovias – 2B Baldwin – RF Gomez – P Gutierrez

Rico Gutierrez … lasted ONE out in the game, conceded a run as Vermillion singled, stole second, and scored on a Stross single. (sounds the giant gong in the bathroom) Bullpen day…! Stonecipher was out first, unraveled for three hits and two runs in the second, and put three more on base with a Zach Tutt single and two walks to Westmoreland and Alfaro in the third before being just barely able to ring up the pitcher to exit the inning. And the game was lost; the Coons hit into double plays in the first (Hereford), second (Baldwin), and fourth (Harenberg) to fumble away each and any chance with men on base they might get against Lira. Billy Brotman logged seven outs for Portland before he got swamped in the sixth on a Westmoreland single, an error of his own that put Lira on, and a walk issued to Vermillion. Fleischer took over for him with the bases full, got a 5-4-3 double play from Crabtree on two pitches, and that kept the gap at 3-0, but … eh. Nothing worked. Through seven, Lira had allowed only four base runners (and yes, three double plays had been turned…), and in the ultimate sign of surrender, the Coons sent Josh Boles to pitch the eighth against lefties. Josh retired the 6-7-8 in order, and then the Coons brought up the tying run in the bottom 8th, and with nobody down. Mora singled, Tovias walked, and suddenly a chance? Pizzo batted for Baldwin – straight into a double play. No. No chance. Rafael Gomez hit an RBI single with two outs, but that was it. 3-1 Scorpions. Tovias 1-2, BB; Fleischer 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

(stares glumly onto the suddenly growing injury report)

Wednesday night Rico Gutierrez was constantly clamoring and screaming that his leg was going to fall off.

Thursday he walked around with a limp.

Friday the Druid reported he had a mild hamstring strain and would not even miss a start.

This team.

Raccoons (18-17) @ Loggers (18-15) – May 10-12, 2030

The Loggers had now the second-best rotation in the league and were only half a game behind the Titans as the Raccoons tumbled into Milwaukee. They were tied for tenth in scoring runs though, so maybe our pitching would get a break… We had a 2-1 edge over them this season.

Projected matchups:
Tom Shumway (1-2, 3.40 ERA) vs. Joe West (1-4, 3.42 ERA)
Dave Martinez (4-2, 2.84 ERA) vs. Josh Long (1-1, 3.46 ERA)
Mark Roberts (3-2, 5.81 ERA) vs. Francisco Colmenarez (4-2, 2.29 ERA)

Southpaw on Sunday, if I can even get that far without jumping into still frigid Lake Michigan.

Game 1
POR: SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – RF Hereford – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – LF Jamieson – C Pizzo – 2B Baldwin – P Shumway
MIL: 3B V. Diaz – LF Cambra – RF Stephenson – C J. Young – SS W. Morris – 1B W. Aquino – CF Creech – 2B Sessoms – P J. West

Nunley singled, Hereford walked, and Harenberg chucked into a double play in the first to ensure no runs. The bags were then full with nobody out in the second, courtesy of a walk issued to Abel Mora, Jamieson’s scratch single to left, and the .197 threat Pizzo getting whacked with a changeup. All that for Chris Baldwin and Tom Shumway, the most feared batters in all the lands. Both struck out, Stalker flew out to left, and I went to the nearest liquor vendor and inquired on whatever had the most spin. At least Shumway held the Loggers hit- and runless through the first three, and the Raccoons took a 1-0 lead in the fourth on a solo shot by Pizzo, then batting .208 with five dingers. Other than that, Joe West was playing at high volume, striking out eight batters through the first five innings. The sixth he opened with a walk to Harenberg, though, and then Mora managed to miss both Josh Stephenson and Gabe Creech for a double in right-center. That put men in scoring position and nominally we’d cart up a few actual batters before the 8-9 guys would come around, even though both were hitting .225 or less. Jamieson flew out to shallow right, keeping Harenberg pinned for sure, Pizzo whiffed, Baldwin was bypassed, and Shumway was rung up fiercely.

The bottoms of innings were considerably less eventful (if you could call it even that), with Shumway sitting down the Loggers in order in the middle innings, just as he had done in the early innings. Tim Stalker hit a double to extend a 10-game hitting streak in the top of the seventh, but was stranded, while the bottom 7th saw Vinny Diaz and Firmino Cambra down on strikes, and Stephenson grounded out to Stalker. The Shumster would be bothered with batting again in the eighth, coming up with three on and no outs after Bobby Valencia had walked Jamieson and Pizzo, and Baldwin had reached on an infield single. Tom Shumway struck out – netting a golden sombrero along the way – and Stalker grounded to short to end the inning quickly and efficiently. Bottom 8th, Jim Young popped out on a 3-1 pitch. Wayne Morris was hit by a wayward first pitch – and there went the perfect game. After 22 straight Loggers retired, Shumway nailed the shortstop and that was it. Wilson Aquino moved up the runner with a groundout to Matt Nunley, who had to hustle, but made a nice play, and Gabe Creech went down on strikes. No insurance run came forth as the Coons stranded another pair in hapless fashion in the top of the ninth, and the bottom of the ninth dawned with April’s Rookie of the Month Aaron Sessoms leading off. Like anybody else, he carried an oh-fer. He fell down 1-2, then spiked a ball up the middle. Tim Stalker with his golden paws reached over, spun wildly again and zinged to first in time. One out. Mike Wheeler batted for Khalil Sams, who had earlier come into the #9 hole in a double switch, with Wheeler countering Shumway with his righty bat. Wheeler took the 1-1 pitch, the 99th offering by Shumway, to left. Line drive, Jamieson over – two outs. Here came Vinny Diaz, a .210 batter this year. He whacked the first one foul at the first base side, then drew two narrowly missing balls. He poked the 2-1. A pop over the infield. All the little Critters screamed at full lungs that they had it – Tim Stalker came through eventually, settled, caught the ball – IT’S A NO-HITTER!! 1-0 Furballs!!

The Raccoons left fifteen men on base in a 1-0 game, and struck out 14 times, which was enough for me to get stupidly drunk, but not enough to not realize that the eighth Raccoons no-hitter was in progress, and once it was completed, I gave the Hispanic, male attendant that supported me in my drunk stupor a thick smooch on the lips and told him that he was very gentle, kind, very attractive, and I loved him very much.

The rest of the night was a fog, but I woke up on Saturday morning in unknown surroundings and with a middle-aged Guatemalan lady with proper bosom surprising me with breakfast in bed and explaining to me how happy she was that her little Edmundo had finally found somebody that could make him happy.

Sometimes, faking left and darting right, as I had practiced a thousand times in races against Slappy towards the liquor cabinet, was an absolutely vital strategy.

Game 2
POR: SS Stalker – 3B Nunley – RF Hereford – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – LF Jamieson – C Pizzo – 2B Baldwin – P Martinez
MIL: 3B V. Diaz – LF Cambra – RF Stephenson – C J. Young – SS W. Morris – 1B W. Aquino – 2B Sessoms – CF Creech – P Long

The no-hitter went out of the window on Vinny Diaz’ first-inning single, but at least Odilon guided a ball hit by Firmino Cambra into a double play and the Loggers remained off the board. The Coons didn’t getting three on with one out in the second inning after a Harenberg double, a walk drawn by Mora, and Pizzo’s soft single, and for a nice change actually scored. Baldwin scored two grounding up the middle for a single, and Martinez also got an RBI with a productive groundout, guiding home Pizzo for a 3-0 score before Stalker flew out to Josh Stephenson. Jamieson and Pizzo would be on the corners with one out in the fourth, but then both Baldwin and Martinez struck out. Martinez would shed the odd walk on the mound, but did not allow another base hit until Gabe Creech hit a leadoff double in the bottom of the sixth. Martinez lacked strikeouts, allowing the Loggers to bring in the run with two productive outs, a Long bunt and then a Diaz sac fly. We clawed that run back in the top 7th on doubles by Baldwin (!) and Nunley, 4-1. Martinez got through the seventh, but was greeted rudely in the eighth with back-to-back doubles by Sessoms and Creech that got the Loggers back to 4-2 and the tying run to the plate in PH Taylor Canody. Garavito replaced Martinez, fell behind every batter he faced, but still managed to retire the Loggers on a liner to Baldwin hit by Canody, a Diaz grounder to short, and then a comebacker that Cambra hit. The Coons stranded another runner in the ninth, and then Boles was worryingly shaky. Stephenson grounded out, but then Young doubled to center and Morris hit an RBI single to bring the winning run to the plate for the Loggers. Wilson Aquino hit a 3-2 pitch to deep right, but Wilson Rodriguez got back to the track to catch the ball. Another full count came against Sessoms, and the Rookie of the Month succumbed to a 75mph curve that he helplessly flailed over. 4-3 Raccoons. Mora 2-3; Pizzo 2-4; Baldwin 2-3, 2B, 2 RBI; Rodriguez (PH) 1-1; Martinez 7.0 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 1 K, W (5-2);

Back to three games over .500 now. We have yet to reach the lofty heights of being FOUR games over .500 this season!

…and … we wouldn’t this week. Sunday brought rain, and the game was postponed.

In other news

May 7 – IND C Juan Herrera (.258, 4 HR, 16 RBI) ends a 10-inning game with the Stars with a walkoff grand slam off DAL CL Alfredo Morua (2-2, 5.29 ERA, 9 SV), giving the Indians a 5-1 win.
May 8 – Vancouver’s Jeremy Truett (2-2, 3.25 ERA) 3-hits the Gold Sox in a 3-0 shutout.
May 9 – IND SP Andy Bressner (6-2, 3.07 ERA) 2-hits the Stars in a 7-0 Indians shutout. Bressner strikes out six.
May 9 – IND OF Leo Otero (.200, 0 HR, 2 RBI) is likely out for the season with a torn labrum.
May 10 – DEN INF Trey Rock (.291, 0 HR, 15 RBI) also could be out for the season with a torn labrum.

Complaints and stuff

Juan Berrios (1977) * Jason Turner (1989) * Manuel Movonda (1998) * Bob Joly (2000) * Jose Dominguez (2007) * Nick Brown (2016) * Jonathan Toner (2019) * Tom Shumway (2030)

What a list to be on!

Alberto Ramos will probably miss another game or two, but he will get back on the field by the middle of the week. The thumb is already only lemon size anymore. It looked like a pineapple on Wednesday morning. Then somebody, probably Nunley, tried to take a bite while everybody else slept.

We will be back in Milwaukee next month and then make up the postponed Sunday game in a double header on June 17. For now, next week will get us to New York and then all the way back to our coast, albeit considerably further south, visiting the Condors on the weekend. The road trip will only end after a stop in San Fran, and then we’ll play three against Vegas at home. That Aces series and the three games with Sacramento will be our only home games in May!

Fun Fact: We have the most no-hitters in all of the ABL!

Sometimes, life is just good.