[Westheim]

Raccoons (26-24) @ Falcons (23-27) – May 27-29, 2030

Next up were the Falcons, who sat in the bottom three in both runs scored and runs allowed in the Continental League and probably considered themselves lucky (or just ignored the stats and kept whistling merrily) to sit almost at .500 for the season. And with these crummy Coons rolling through… who knows what could happen? They were already 2-1 against us this season.

Projected matchups:
Tom Shumway (2-4, 2.66 ERA) vs. Jesus Chavez (2-2, 3.39 ERA)
Dave Martinez (6-2, 3.07 ERA) vs. Aaron Lewis (1-6, 3.46 ERA)
Mark Roberts (4-2, 4.63 ERA) vs. Chris Rountree (4-5, 5.29 ERA)

Left-hander in the final game on Wednesday; the Falcons were missing a few pitchers on the DL, but nobody that would actually be able to help them except SP Juan Muniz, who had pitched only 4.2 innings this year before having bone spurs removed from his elbow. He had won 18, 19 games a few times with the Warriors, but his 1-year deal with the Falcons would probably leave nobody happy in the end…

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – LF Hereford – C Pizzo – RF Allan – P Shumway
CHA: SS Wagner – CF Adkins – LF Salto – RF Kok – 3B G. Ortiz – 1B J. Elliott – C T. Perez – 2B Folk – P Chavez

Former Furball Jesus Chavez struck out Raccoons in bushels, while Tom Shumway kept failing to deliver on any promise we had made to ourselves before the season with the three aces and so on. His control was a mess, the Falcons found holes, too, and Graciano Salto put them 2-0 ahead with a dinger to left in the third inning. Curt Wagner also scored on the bomb, having drawn a 1-out walk from Shumway, and when he wasn’t awful with his pitching, Shumway was awful with the stick, bunting into a force on Ryan Allan in the fifth inning to short-circuit whatever the Raccoons might have achieved there. Given Allan’s nimble hindpaws and the single that Alberto Ramos hit right afterwards, probably a run. In the actual event, they didn’t get squid and remained shut out on six hits, but seven strikeouts through five innings. Mora hit a 1-out double in the sixth and was stranded; Allan hit another leadoff single in the seventh and was forced out on a bad bunt for the second time in the game. In turn, the bottom 7th saw a leadoff double by repulsive ex-Elk Brody Folk, a GOOD bunt by Chavez, then an RBI single clipped past Harenberg by Wagner. And if not for a perfect throw by Abel Mora on Salto’s 2-out double in the inning, Wagner would have scored, too, but as things were was thrown out at home plate. All that did was to keep the Coons shut out and down by three rather than four, though.

Yet, somehow, despite an absolutely revolting performance by everybody through eight innings, somehow the Coons brought the go-ahead run to the plate in the ninth inning. After closer Cruz Sierra and his flat-3 ERA had rung up Rich Hereford, who just looked lost, plainly and simply, Juan Magallanes worked a walk in Mike Pizzo’s stead, Alan singled once more to right, and then Tovias batted for Ricky Ohl and singled to left. That loaded them up for Alberto Ramos, who hit a fly in the right-center gap that crushingly was caught by Barend Kok, holding Ramos to a not helpful sac fly. Sierra managed to also lose Stalker on balls, bringing up an 0-for-4 Matt Nunley with the bases re-stacked. Nunley chucked a 1-1 pitch over Brody Folk’s desperately extended glove, into shallow right-center, and Tovias was urgently waved around to score behind Allan from second base – and the game was tied. And with Harenberg appearing in a crucial at-bat against new pitcher Adam Howell, nobody at all was surprised that he popped out to forfeit the chance to zoom ahead. The Coons’ pen was strapped for options at this point with Ohl already used and Surginer (31 pitches on Sunday, and 39 in two days) and Fleischer (oblique tweak) unavailable. We’d try to make it work with Garavito batting fourth and Mora moving to first base for the first time since ’27. Garavito worked around a Nate Nelson walk to send the game to extras, where it was not beneath the Coons to put Hereford and Alan on with singles, only to strand them. Garavito leaked leadoff singles to Salto and Kok in the bottom 10th, the runners pulled off a double steal, and with one out PH Matt Cooper ran a 3-2 count and lined softly to left. Ramos lunged, but sailed clean underneath the ball, and the Falcons walked off on the third single of the inning. 4-3 Falcons. Mora 2-5, 2B; Hereford 2-5, 2B; Allen 4-5; Tovias (PH) 1-2;

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – RF Allan – CF Mora – 1B Harenberg – 3B Nunley – 2B Hereford – LF Jamieson – C Tovias – P Martinez
CHA: CF N. Nelson – C Cooper – LF Salto – RF Kok – 3B G. Ortiz – 1B J. Elliott – SS Wagner – 2B Cano – P A. Lewis

Allan kept singling and getting forced out, with Mora’s grounder to short doing the honors in the opening inning. By contrast, the Falcons hit two singles through the infield in the bottom 1st, then got a 3-run blast by Greg Ortiz. The Coons got Nunley and Hereford into scoring position with one out in the second, but Tovias grounded out to first and Martinez was rung up, then got Ramos and Allan (singles, singles, singles!) on the corners with nobody out in the third. Abel Mora popped out to short (…!), but Harenberg hit a single to left that got the Critters on the board. Oh well, at least it was not the tying or go-ahead run. If he ever drove in one of those, I would be seriously worried that he’d lose his touch…! Nunley grounded out, Hereford lined out to Salto, and another pair was stranded in scoring position…

The Coons managed to waste a leadoff double by Ramos in the fifth, and Martinez in particular managed to create a jam by allowing a leadoff single to Lewis in the bottom of the inning, then nailed Matt Cooper, too. Salto flew out to Jamieson on the warning track, which did not bring advancement from a pitcher at second base, but the Falcons sent Lewis when Barend Kok singled to center. Mora picked that one up, and threw out another guy at home plate, ending the fifth inning, but still down 3-1. Matt Jamieson hit a 420-footer to left-center to make it 3-2 in the sixth.

Dave Martinez nary allowed the Falcons a runner after the first-inning disaster, but still was lifted for a pinch-hitter after barely 80 pitches with his spot up to begin the seventh inning. Magallanes walked, which he did rather well while batting .196 overall, then moved up on Ramos’ groundout. Allan’s fly to left was caught, but Abel Mora tied the game with a double down the rightfield line, 3-3. Harenberg with the go-ahead run in scoring position could not possibly get a base hit, but was clumsily walked by Lewis, and then Matt Nunley hit a gapper in left-center that made it all the way to the fence. Mora scored, Harenberg even scored from first base thanks to being able to being jogging on contact, and it was 5-3 thanks to back-to-back 2-out, 2-run heroics by Nunley in both games in the set. After the inning ended, the Critters – still short in the pen – gave the ball to Sean Rigg and his near-10 ERA against the bottom of the order, which to anybody’s surprise did not directly lead to a 7-spot for the home team. In fact, he retired the side in order. Ohl got around a Salto single in the eighth, and all seemed destined to go well for once until Josh Boles emerged. Within four pitches, the Falcons hit three scary rockets off him. John Elliott and Curt Wagner both somehow flew out to Jamieson in left, but Ricky Cano doubled off the fence. Boles kept shaking his arm, prompting a look from the Druid, who hauled him in after exchanging only a few words. Billy Brotman would get ready to face left-handed pinch-hitter Dave Trahan as the tying run with two down, walked him, nailed Nate Nelson, and the suddenly the Coons were clinging to the edge of the cliff with but a single claw. I didn’t trust an unrested Surginer with the bags full, Fleischer was still hampered, and Garavito had been out long the night before, and would not give us an edge against Cooper either. Cooper fell to 0-2 before hitting a fly to right, pretty high, pretty deep, Ryan Allan scampering back, turning on the track, jumping – and he picked it right at the fence …! 5-3 Coons. Ramos 2-5, 2B; Allan 2-5; Mora 2-5, 2B, RBI; Nunley 2-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Baldwin (PH) 1-1;

The diagnosis on Josh Boles was a “tired arm”, which was sometimes transient, and sometimes would derail careers. The Druid ordered him to sit out the rest of the week and to shove his little snout only with his right paw.

The official scorer kindly assessed Billy Brotman a save, the 18th of his career and the first since ’27. Apparently there is no provision in his rulebook either that if you come in for a fallen comrade and give it every effort to blow the game with two outs, that you are credited with a doozy instead.

Make mental note to call Maud that we have to put together a letter to the league office to propose a rule change.

Doozy? Whammy? I have not yet made up my mind. Maybe we should call it a donkey, because the guy’s such a ****ing ass.

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Jamieson – 3B Nunley – 1B Gomez – RF Mora – C Tovias – CF Magallanes – P Roberts
CHA: CF N. Nelson – C Cooper – LF Salto – 3B G. Ortiz – 1B J. Elliott – SS Wagner – RF Trahan – 2B Folk – P Rountree

Cooper single, Salto blast,
Sometimes the present’s like the past.
Say, tell me what the future brings!
An Ortiz homer, and sure no rings.

Mark Roberts got outright waffled in the first, and John Elliott had a good bit to make it back-to-back-to-back homers off the beleaguered ex-ace, but flew out to Magallanes in very, very deep center. Because there can’t be no happiness in our lives, Roberts became the next pitcher to bunt into a force after a leadoff single by the #8 hitter, too, and that also might have cost the Coons a run in the third inning. The Falcons in turn ran themselves out of the bottom 3rd, in which Roberts issued two walks to Cooper and Ortiz. When John Elliott hit a soft looper to shallow right with one out, Cooper started early from second base, but Mora actually dashed in and made the catch, then easily doubled Cooper off second base to end the inning.

The Critters only got an unearned run in the fifth on a Ramos sac fly that followed a 1-out single by Magallanes, then Rountree blatantly throwing Roberts’ bunt into the dugout. Stalker popped out to short to strand Roberts at second base. The sixth began with a soft out by Jamieson before Nunley and Gomez chipped in light singles. Abel Mora got hold of a fastball and drilled it into the gap and all the way to the fence in left-center, deep enough to get both runners across and tie the game at three, so that was now three games in the set in which the Coons had trailed three-zip and had gotten back even after many innings of futility. The Falcons went on to make the ballsy call to walk the .208 menace Tovias intentionally to get to Magallanes, who singled, loading them up for … Roberts. Oh dear. A royal dilemma. Three on, one out, pitcher at the plate, but it was only the top of the sixth and the Coons had neither Boles (ailing) nor Ohl (two days in a row) readily available. Hitting for Roberts now would probably cause the bottom of the pen to fall out. And wasn’t Roberts swingin’ it for a .417 clip? Roberts lunged for the first pitch by Rountree, poked it past a diving Folk for an RBI single, and the Coons somehow had failed their way all the way back into a 4-3 lead… Ramos and Stalker made poor outs, stranding the full set then.

Bottom 6th, leadoff single up the middle by Greg Ortiz, then a walk to Elliott. Oh boy! Curt Wagner was told to bunt, did so badly enough that Tovias could kill off Ortiz at third base, and then Trahan bounced into a 4-6-3 double play. Whatever the **** works. The offense for the Coons still didn’t properly… Rafael Gomez doubled home an insurance run (Jamieson) in the seventh, but after an intentional walk to Mora we got Tovias hitting into an inning-ending double play, and Tim Stalker achieved the same 6-4-3 feat in the eighth with Baldwin and Ramos on the corners. Bottom 8th, Jonathan Fleischer nearly got lit up like a Christmas tree on four deep flies in the inning. Only John Elliott’s fell in for a double, however, and the Falcons didn’t score, remaining 5-3 behind. The Falcons’ Alex Morin and Cruz Sierra fell apart with two outs in the ninth; Gomez hit an infield single, Hereford walked in Mora’s spot, Harenberg hit an RBI single in place of Tovias, and Magallanes walked, but Mike Pizzo struck out to strand them all, then went behind the dish to catch Kevin Surginer in the ninth. Kevin retired Trahan, Folk, and Tony Perez in order. 6-3 Coons. Nunley 2-5; Gomez 3-5, 2B, RBI; Mora 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Harenberg (PH) 1-1, RBI; Magallanes 3-4, BB; Baldwin (PH) 1-1;

Raccoons (28-25) @ Indians (25-27) – May 31-June 2, 2030

The Indians were trying, so far unsuccessfully, to rekindle last year’s winning mix, but sat in fifth place in the North with the eighth-most runs scored and fourth-fewest runs allowed. That made for a +10 run differential, so not all hope was lost yet in the Indy camp. They were also 4-2 against Portland this season, so maybe we were coming in just at the right time for them.

Projected matchups:
Jose Menendez (5-2, 2.95 ERA) vs. Andy Bressner (7-3, 3.10 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (2-3, 4.78 ERA) vs. Sal Bedoya (4-2, 2.27 ERA)
Tom Shumway (2-4, 2.76 ERA) vs. Mark Morrison (3-3, 3.98 ERA)

Those are three righties, but they also had Thursday off and could bring southpaw John McInerney (1-7, 6.00 ERA) into the series… although I fail to come up with a compelling reason for why they’d do that. Something was bitterly wrong with McInerney, who had pitched to low-3 ERA’s for several years now, but this year he was just plainly off.

Indy had a few (semi-)regulars on the DL, missing Andres Medina (.292, 2 HR, 6 RBI) as well as outfielders Alex Zanches and Leo Otero.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – LF Allan – 3B Nunley – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – 2B Stalker – RF Hereford – C Pizzo – P Menendez
IND: SS Pizano – 1B Jon Gonzalez – RF Suhay – LF Plunkett – 2B Schneller – C J. Herrera – 3B E. Sosa – CF Cowan – P Bressner

The Raccoons finally managed to score first in a game, executing a Ramos Special in the top of the first. Ramos singles, stole second, and finally scored on a 2-out Harenberg single. The lead didn’t last – Juan Herrera hit a solo homer in the bottom 2nd, and when another Ramos Special put the Coons up 2-1 in the third, the Coons would give that one back, too. Jon Gonzalez singled in the bottom 4th, moved up on a wild pitch, then scored on Mike Plunkett’s double up the leftfield line, and the game was tied at two through four innings. Unfortunately the Coons not only missed their turn to score in the fifth, but failed to get on base in a relevant fashion at all with Alberto Ramos making outs in his next two appearances. Menendez’ soft tosser style at least yielded mostly soft outs in the following innings, and both pitchers lasted through seven in relatively good shape, and with only seven strikeouts between them. Then, Andy Bressner pitched a clean eighth, and Menendez didn’t. In fact, Jose Menendez retired nobody in the bottom 8th, walking PH Trent Herlihy in a full count before also yielding a single to Mario Pizano. At that point, the Coons sent Surginer for damage control, but only poured gasoline into the fire with a wild pitch on his very first offering to Jon Gonzalez, who ended up hitting a go-ahead sac fly for the only run in the inning. The Indians sent Ben Darr to close the game in the ninth. Darr had three walks and 20 strikeouts on the season, but still allowed a leadoff single to Abel Mora, a soft line over the shortstop Pizano. Tim Stalker narrowly got a grounder past third baseman John Calfee for another single. And then Darr struck out Hereford, Pizzo, and Jamieson in order. 3-2 Indians. Ramos 2-4;

Juan Herrera was promptly named Rookie of the Month…

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Harenberg – CF Mora – RF Hereford – LF Allan – C Tovias – P Gutierrez
IND: SS Pizano – 1B Jon Gonzalez – RF Suhay – LF Plunkett – 2B Schneller – C J. Herrera – CF Cowan – 3B E. Sosa – P Bedoya

Rico Gutierrez fell apart early, allowing a hit in the first, then three hits and a walk in the second, with Elias Sosa putting Indy up 2-0 with a 1-out, 2-run single. Sal Bedoya was perfect through four innings, then came up with Mike Cowan and Sosa on base and two outs in the bottom 4th. He hit a fly to deep center that eluded Abel Mora and became a 2-run double, very obviously sucking the last bit of air out of a completely overwhelmed, inept roster. Kevin Harenberg led off the next inning with a jack to right. Wow, nice, Kevin. Why don’t you shove it up your furry ass? When Matt Nunley was parked at second base after hitting a 1-out double in the seventh – and becoming the very next Raccoon to reach base against Bedoya – Harenberg of course grounded out to Dan Schneller, because that was all he could do with runners in scoring position. Mora flew out easily to strand Nunley, keeping it a 4-1 game. The perversely inept Coons would amount to one more base runner – Ben Darr walking Ramos in the ninth – in a complete neck-breaker of a defeat. 4-1 Indians.

I called St. Pete the same night – any and all batters with the slightest whiff of hitting the baseball had to report to Indy on Sunday morning. I would figure out the rest.

Nobody arrived.

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – RF Allan – CF Mora – 3B Nunley – 1B Gomez – LF Jamieson – C Pizzo – 2B Baldwin – P Shumway
IND: SS Pizano – 1B Jon Gonzalez – RF Suhay – LF Plunkett – 2B Schneller – C J. Herrera – CF Cowan – 3B E. Sosa – P M. Morrison

While the Raccoons spent their early innings chipping out four singles and stranding all and any of the runners, Shumway allowed two walks, but no base hits the first time through the Indians order. A no-hitter was not quite in the making though, thanks to Pizano’s 1-out double. Jon Gonzalez singled him home in an efficient manner that was markedly different from anything the brown-clad team had shown in weeks and months. Suhay struck out, offering an opening to get out of the inning with only one run allowed. Shumway didn’t take it, instead getting blasted for another four base hits and as many runs by the Arrowheads before the curtain came down with a groundout by Sosa to Ramos. Mike Plunkett homered to left, which made it 3-0 in a hurry. Dan Schneller doubled, scored on a Herrera double, and Cowan singled home the catcher to get to 5-0. The Raccoons of 2030. No pitching, no hitting, no defense, no stupid luck – just a pile of nothing.

Shumway did not retire another batter in the game. He walked Morrison on four pitches to begin the bottom 4th (!!), threw away Pizano’s grounder for an error, then allowed a single to Gonzalez, which loaded the bases. The Raccoons went to Surginer at this early hour, and he got a grounder to second from the .198 hitter Suhay. Baldwin to Ramos- who dropped the ball and all feathers were safe. Surginer went on to walk both Plunkett and Schneller with the bases loaded before being yanked for a particularly vicious flogging, and because nothing battered anymore, Sean Rigg came into the game. So kindly invited, the Indians wasted no time in running up a cricket score. Herrera struck out, but Cowan singled home a pair, Rigg lost Sosa on balls, and Morrison hit a sac fly before Pizano grounded out to second to end the inning with an 11-0 tally. Four of the six runs in the inning were unearned.

Of course, no double-digit lead was too big to incite some bad blood down the road. The score didn’t move in a meaningful way. Ramos got on and scored in the fifth, cutting the gap to ten, which was such a grave concern for the Arrowheads. Jon Gonzalez hit a jack off Rigg in the bottom of the inning, but at least Rigg gave length and was still around in the seventh, allowing a leadoff double to Pizano, who then scored on a Ben Suhay double to right, making it 13-1. Suhay then tried to steal third base – and was thrown out by Pizzo. Not only that, but Nunley – the elder statesman on the field on most any given day – gave him an earful for openly showing off in a blowout. Suhay didn’t enjoy that, and the two were nose to nose for a few seconds there (both were 6’ flat), barking at another. For a brief moment, I was sure a brawl was about to start, but it *was* a 12-run game after all. Nobody was in the mood of tearing out their shoulder while getting dragged to the bottom of a pile. Suhay backed off eventually, and the Indians didn’t score anymore in the inning… or the rest of the game. 13-1 Indians. Ramos 2-5; Allan 2-4, BB; Rigg 4.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 2 K;

In other news

May 27 – In a real team effort, the Knights score in every inning but the first in a 17-6 rout of the Loggers. Six Knights position players have multiple hits, and six Knights position players have multiple RBI in the game. ATL OF Jeremy Houghtaling (.263, 6 HR, 24 RBI) is the only player to have three of each.
May 28 – SAC CF Mark Vermillion (.279, 2 HR, 23 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak after going 2-for-4 in an 8-7 Sacramento win over Washington. Vermillion, who debuted last year and batted .196 in 26 games, is still a rookie (and ranked the #36 prospect) and a valid contender for the FL’s rookie crown at age 21.
May 28 – TIJ OF Chris Murphy (.257, 3 HR, 26 RBI) drives in five runs from the leadoff spot in the Condors’ 12-1 shellacking of the Crusaders.
May 29 – MIL OF Josh Stephenson (.277, 3 HR, 30 RBI) is out for the season with a broken kneecap.
May 29 – The hot streak of SAC CF Mark Vermillion (.275, 2 HR, 23 RBI) ends at 20 games with a hitless appearance in a 6-3 loss to the Capitals.
May 31 – The Titans will be without CF/LF Adrian Reichardt (.293, 6 HR, 27 RBI) for the next three to four weeks. The 32-year-old is out with a knee sprain.
May 31 – The Rebels knock off the Blue Sox, 15-1, with special mentions going out to the #8 and #9 hitters in the order, who both collected two hits, a walk, and three RBI apiece, RIC 3B/2B Bob Rojas (.364, 0 HR, 7 RBI) and SP Joaquin Serrano (2-7, 4.70 ERA).
May 31 – TOP SS/2B Alex Majano (.309, 1 HR, 19 RBI) will miss the entire month of June with an oblique strain.
June 2 – OCT 2B/SS Alex Serrato (.322, 10 HR, 38 RBI) has connected often enough to have chained together a 20-game hitting streak, getting two hits in a 7-2 loss to the Condors to reach the mark.

Complaints and stuff

I do not quite comprehend how Tom Scumway can be third in the All Star voting for starting pitchers. I mean, I have long held the theory, and stand by it, that people are generally stupid and do stupid things all the ****ing time… but this is just ridiculous.

Too bad about not getting into a brawl on Sunday. Maybe that would have somehow lit fire under the team’s sorry bums. Because they are sure numb to all the motivation I can offer them. (yells at Rich Hereford) GET YOUR **** MOVING!! WE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH, YOU LAZY BUM!!

There is no turning this broken and unhinged mess around anymore. The Elks will sweep us for three in the middle of next week, no doubt about that. I just hope the Loggers (!?) or Titans or even the goddamn Indians can catch them. This team is not only fifth, but also in the gutter.

Time to start the reconstruction effort. Of course, before we can reconstruct anything, we have to properly burn the old **** to the ground. That will be the most pleasant thing. Another wannabe dynasty that never was, to be cast into the dustbin of baseball history.

Fun Fact: Tim Stalker and Billy Brotman became Raccoons in the same deal with the Blue Sox in July of 2021.

That one came as the late-‘10s dynasty fell apart for good. Is it a dynasty if they never win a ring? Anyway, three straight playoff appearances and a stupid extra-inning loss in a second tie-breaker to the Loggers oughta count for something.

In the deal the Blue Sox received Tadasu Abe, Danny Margolis, Adam Zuhlke, and Ruben Santiago. Abe went only 2-5 with a 4.77 ERA for them the rest of the way, then ended up with three other FL East teams from there; Margolis was immediately relegated to water carrier duties and his career fizzled out pretty fast; Zuhlke was only a bit player at the time anyway;

But the Blue Sox still have Ruben Santiago, then a first base prospect in the high minors. He debuted the next year, batting .278 with no homers in 36 AB and became their everyday first baseman in 2025, but he’s never really ripped anything or anybody. He had one year in ’27 where hebatted .335 with 19 homers, but other than that has been often near league average. This year, at 31, he has fallen into a .225 hole, a bit like Jamieson and Hereford.

Sic transit gloria mundis.