[Westheim]

Raccoons (40-35) vs. Aces (35-41) – June 29-July 1, 2026

Here were two teams that both wondered what the heck had happened to them. Both were eight-ish games behind an unlikely division leader and neither was getting any closer. The Aces were at least scoring, ranking fourth in runs plated in the CL, but were at rock bottom in runs conceded, with almost precisely five runs surrendered per game. Rotation and bullpen were equally guilty for them. The Coons had swept them the first time around this year, but that had occurred in much better times in general…

Projected matchups:
Kyle Anderson (5-4, 3.57 ERA) vs. Ed Hague (8-6, 3.97 ERA)
Dan Delgadillo (5-2, 2.41 ERA) vs. TBD
Rin Nomura (0-2, 3.15 ERA) vs. Matt McCabe (2-4, 3.99 ERA)

Two right-handers and a hole in the middle; the middle start would be the turn of Tristan Broun, who was a shocking 0-8 with a 4.63 ERA, but he was officially laboring on a sore shoulder and was a coin toss at this point. Another left-handed veteran would move into this series if the Aces would send their guys on short rest: Sam McMullen (5-6, 3.40 ERA).

The Raccoons started their week by placing Cookie Carmona on the DL with his own shoulder thing, pulling up LF Justin Gerace (.229, 8 HR, 37 RBI) from AAA.

Game 1
LVA: CF Leija – LF Raynor – RF Bednarski – 1B M. Hamilton – C T. Robinson – SS A. Medina – 3B A. Velez – 2B Moroyoqui – P Hague
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – CF Mora – RF Gomez – 1B Kopp – 3B Nunley – LF Gerace – C Burrows – P Anderson

Anderson spent 36 pitches on the first inning alone, loading the bases on a Matt Hamilton single and walks to Ron Raynor and Tim Robinson, and then still somehow escaped unscored upon when Andres Medina grounded out to Terry Kopp. By contrast, Ed Hague threw seven pitches to retire the Coons in order… At least Anderson held tight through five innings, holding the Aces to only two hits and himself to under 90 pitches, which was so encouraging. The Raccoons scratched out runs in the second inning, then on three singles by Gomez, Kopp, and Gerace, who got the RBI, and another one in the fifth when Burrows led off with a single, was bunted over, advanced on the struggling Ramos' groundout, and was plated on Spencer's single. Mora (walk) and Gomez (Alberto Velez error) would fill the bags, but Terry Kopp lined out to Medina to keep them on base.

No win was in the offing for Kyle Anderson, though. Three singles by Mike Bednarski, Robinson, and Medina plated a run in the top 6th, and Rafael Gomez' late throw home on the third single also allowed the remaining runners to take scoring position with one out. Ricky Ohl replaced Anderson, but the lead evaporated on Velez' sac fly before Jesus Moroyoqui grounded out to the pitcher to end the inning in a 2-2 tie. But the house that Mike Bednarski – the eternal scumbag – built in the sixth he also tore down ass-first in the bottom 7th; Ramos had just hit a 1-out single to right – his 100th hit of the year, but not yet ending his deep slump – when Spencer also got a ball past Moroqoyui. Ramos went for third, Bednarski, the bitter old man, didn't want to let him, but threw wildly past Alberto Velez. The error gave the runners an extra base, plating Ramos with the go-ahead run. Mora grounded out, moving Spencer to third, and here the Aces apparently thought that the inning was as good as over with the Coons – in situations with a runner in scoring position and two outs – had a clutch average of roughly negative .117 … alas, the Critters broke out the extra base power! Rafael Gomez had an RBI triple, Terry Kopp still an RBI double, and then Matt Nunley conquered the leftfield fence to tear up Ed Hague completely, who ended up surrendering seven in seven. There was another extra-base hit in store for Portland though; Alberto Ramos conquered Ian Van Meter with a 2-out solo jack in the bottom 8th! 8-2 Raccoons. Ramos 2-5, HR, RBI; Spencer 2-5, RBI; Gomez 2-4, 3B, RBI; Kopp 3-4, 2 2B, RBI; Ohl 1.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, W (3-4);

Tristan Broun would pitch in the Tuesday game… right until ten minutes before game time. Then he was a late scratch, replaced by former Pacifics stalwart Ernest Green (0-3, 5.80 ERA).

Game 2
LVA: CF Leija – LF Raynor – RF Bednarski – 1B M. Hamilton – C T. Robinson – SS A. Medina – 3B A. Velez – 2B Roundtree – P E. Green
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – RF Kopp – CF Gomez – 3B Nunley – C O'Dell – LF Gerace – 1B Koel – P Delgadillo

Kyle Koel had his first major league hit in the third inning, a single that led nowhere. The Aces had the best chance in the early innings, right off the get-go with Luis Leija's leadoff double in the first, but Delgadillo worked around that and a walk to Raynor and eventually struck out Robinson to exit the inning unharmed. Gerace robbed Medina deep in the gap in the fourth inning, but the Coons would actually score first in the bottom of the same frame. Spencer hit a leadoff single, scooped second base and was balked to third before Velez couldn't dig out Kopp's roller that ended up an RBI infield single. Offense remained at a premium even after that cascade of smallest ball; the Raccoons had the occasional hit off Green, but didn't get into scoring position. The Aces had NOTHING off Delgadillo. After Leija's double and the walk to Raynor, he allowed one more walk, and then a 2-out single to *Green* in the *eighth* inning. Leija thereafter flew out to center. Yusneldan had consistently produced poor contact, but was now at 98 pitches and in a 1-0 game. Maybe the Coons would knit a run or two together in the bottom 8th? They actually did – but at that point, leadoff man Delgadillo had already been hit for. Kopp brought in a second run with a groundout, plating Abel Mora, and then it was off to Snyder. K to Raynor, K to Bednarski, then Hamilton doubled. But another righty came up … and K to Robinson! 2-0 Coons! Spencer 2-4; Kopp 2-4, 2 RBI; Delgadillo 8.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K, W (6-2);

This gem not only prevented the Coons from posting their worst month in over 20 years (still shabby though), but also sealed the season series (for the first time since 2023) with Vegas at 5-0 with four to play.

Game 3
LVA: CF Leija – LF Raynor – RF Bednarski – 1B M. Hamilton – SS A. Medina – 3B A. Velez – C Scheffer – 2B Moroyoqui – P McCabe
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – CF Mora – RF Gomez – 1B Kopp – 3B Nunley – C O'Dell – LF Magallanes – P Nomura

Nomura struck out three around Bednarski and Hamilton singles and a Gomez error that gave them an extra base before Medina went down to leave them in scoring position, after which the Raccoons got to McCabe early with Ramos' leadoff triple and Spencer's run-scoring groundout, and for three in total thanks to additional base hits by Mora, Gomez, Kopp, and O'Dell. In total they would have six base hits the first time through the order, including the maiden single for Rin Nomura, who in turn struck out six the first time through, including the battered McCabe, who would be sent to the showers to cry himself out after only 3.2 innings, in which he allowed 13 base hits and eight runs, his outing ending on a 3-piece by Terry Kopp far and wide over the head of Bedgnatski. The sizable lead coincided with Rin Nomura losing his touch on the zone and his stuff. The Aces got on the board in the sixth after a leadoff walk drawn by Leija, Raynor's double, and then Hamilton drove in the runners with a liner to right, but notably Bednarski grounded out to Nunley to keep the runners pinned – a lifelong sucker in action! Bottom 6th, Matt Nunley pulled a run back with a solo homer, extending the Coons' lead to 9-2 at that point, but Nomura was getting whacked hard now and was removed after a seventh inning in which the Aces hit three rockets, but only one fell for a hit. In the bottom of the inning, Kyle Koel got his first career RBI after a Magallanes single, then Ian Van Meter balking and throwing a wild pitch, followed by Koel's single up the middle. Rookie power! Singles by Ramos and Gerace (who hit for Spencer) loaded the bases before Abel Mora beat Bednarski in the gap for a 3-run double that was as sweet as a 6-run double because it made Bednarski look even worse. As the Aces kept sending pitchers, the Coons kept getting on base in a vicious rout. Kopp singled, and Nunley would have hit into probably an inning-ending double play, but Moroyoqui stumbled and fudged the ball, giving Matt an RBI instead and eventually allowed another run to score after O'Dell's single and Magallanes' bases-loaded groundout. Koel then struck out, but even with as many regulars as we could removed by the bottom 8th, the Aces still ran into more damage, like Mike Kress allowing a leadoff single to Ramos, then a homer to Gerace. The Aces got a run off Josh Boles in the ninth. Nobody cared. 17-3 Furballs!! Ramos 3-5, BB, 3B; Spencer 2-4, RBI; Gerace (PH) 2-2, HR, 2 RBI; Mora 4-6, 2 2B, 3 RBI; Gomez 2-5, 2 RBI; Kopp 3-5, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Nunley 3-5, HR, 2 RBI; O'Dell 3-5, 2 RBI; Koel (PH) 1-2, RBI; Nomura 7.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, W (1-2) and 1-3;

The mother of all sweeps?

Raccoons (43-35) vs. Canadiens (48-28) – July 2-5, 2026

Just like before the last meeting between these two teams, the Raccoons were trending upwards again while the Elks came off a 1-2 series against the Knights, which was not among their more stellar moments in franchise history – all of which had been recorded in black-and-white photographs. (Slappy chuckles and raises his bottle in acknowledgement) They were still 20 games over .500, a mark the Raccoons had not reached before tumbling into the abyss at the start of June. They were second in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed, and their run differential (+66) was quite a bit better than the Coons' +53 mark even after they had ravaged the Aces. Of course they also had the upper hoof in the season series, 5-2…

Projected matchups:
Mark Roberts (8-5, 2.59 ERA) vs. Jesse Bowsher (8-1, 2.35 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (8-3, 3.86 ERA) vs. Warren Polito (9-6, 2.68 ERA)
Kyle Anderson (5-4, 3.56 ERA) vs. Frank Kelly (6-3, 4.30 ERA)
Dan Delgadillo (6-2, 2.23 ERA) vs. Antonio Muniz (6-5, 3.47 ERA)

Three right-handers leading up to the southpaw "Furball"(???) Muniz on Sunday. Also, Chad has found that plush Elk again that I hid in the most remote closet I could find, and I am not amused.

Game 1
VAN: RF Wojnarowski – 3B Anton – CF Coca – LF A. Torres – SS Calfee – 1B Myles – 2B Gura – C Tanzillo – P Bowsher
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – CF Mora – RF Gomez – 1B Kopp – 3B Nunley – C O'Dell – LF Gerace – P Roberts

Roberts had neither stuff, nor luck, that much was clear from the start. Winless in his last five outings, Roberts hardly got a ball past anybody, and Chris Tanzillo struck himself out after coming up with three on and nobody out in the second inning. Bowsher then bounced out to Nunley, but the Elks scored in the following inning after singles by Brian Wojnarowski and Matt Anton to begin the inning. After Tony Coca popped out to short, Wojnarowski went for third base, O'Dell threw wildly, and the runner scored on the error, with Anton moving to third, where Nunley stranded him with an awesome swipe of Alex Torres' liner, after which John Calfee grounded out. Adan Myles' leadoff jack in the fourth made it 2-0, and the Coons had more or less nothing going against Bowsher. They didn't even have a hit until the fourth, when Mora singled up the middle. A throwing error by Tanzillo on Kopp's grounder placed runners in scoring position with two outs for Nunley, but he struck out to let the chance get away. The Mora single remained the Coons' only hit through six innings, with Roberts getting buried three deep after a Tanzillo homer in the top of the seventh. All those balls that the Coons had hit into the outfield had dropped in against the Aces, but the triplet of Platinum Glovers the Elks were running out were catching EVERYTHING. Bottom 7th, the tying run came up without much in terms of hitting. Rafael Gomez had an infield single, Matt Nunley walked. O'Dell grounded to Ted Gura, who got only one out at second base, letting Gerace have a rip at it with two outs. Ripping he did, he just didn't hit anything. Tony Coca's homer off Surginer in the eighth put the game away for good even before Jeff Mudge was incinerated in the ninth inning. Facing six batters, he retired but one, and would be charged with five runs after John Calfee drove in the two he didn't let score himself with a 2-out single off Ricky Ohl. 9-0 Canadiens. Mora 2-4; Koel (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Jeff Mudge (6.39 ERA) arrived at a dead end here. Brought in for quite the money as a reliever, he was doing nothing but blowing up the score. He ended up on waivers the same night. The Raccoons brought up Lance Legleiter.

Game 2
VAN: RF Wojnarowski – 3B Anton – CF Coca – LF A. Torres – 1B Myles – 2B Gura – SS Fitzsimmons – C Tanzillo – P Polito
POR: SS Ramos – CF Mora – RF Kopp – LF Gomez – C O'Dell – 3B Nunley – 2B Stalker – 1B Koel – P Gutierrez

Portland scored before they made an out when Abel Mora doubled in Ramos after the rookie's leadoff walk. O'Dell would chip in a 2-out RBI single to give Rico Gutierrez a 2-0 lead after the opening frame that came close to evaporating right after that in the second inning. Despite the awesome defense on the left side of the infield, disgusting Ted Gura, Tom Fitzsimmons, and Tanzillo hit three singles through there with one out. Thankfully the digusting Gura was thrown out at home plate by Gomez on the last single, and Polito struck out to strand a pair. The Elks hit two more singles through the left side in the third inning, but Rico also struck out three while his pitch count skyrocketed. In the fourth, Fitzsimmons and Tanzillo singled to the other side for a change, but Polito struck out bunting and Wojnarowski grounded out to Stalker, who was giving Jarod Spencer the mandatory day off during the long string of games prior to the All Star Game. The Elks finally scored in the fifth on back-to-back 2-out doubles by Torres and Myles, cutting the Coons' lead to 2-1, and maybe they should stop napping now. They didn't. When Mora tripled with one out in the bottom 5th, the Elks walked Kopp intentionally, and then Gomez hit into a double play. Instead, Fitzsimmons kept tearing up Gutierrez, singled AGAIN in the sixth, and Tanzillo remained unretired as well and homered to right to flip the score.

Rico was all done after six innings and 12 hits allowed, but wouldn't suffer the loss for Brett O'Dell waffling a 377-footer to left off Polito at the start of the bottom 6th. That was pretty much the inning, leaving Gutierrez with a no-decision in a 3-3 game. Top 7th, leadoff walk to Tony Coca issued by Ohl. He struck out the next two before Boles replaced him to face PH Norman Day, who singled to center anyway. Ramos fumbled a Fitzsimmons grounder, outrageously, loading the bases for Tanzillo, who ran a full count before Boles threw a high fastball and the Elk swung through it, ending the inning. The Coons had another double play affair in the bottom 7th. Then the Elks pushed a run across in the ninth on Tony Coca's leadoff single against Alvin Smith, a stolen base, and two productive outs. Portland brought the bottom of the order to the plate against Ivan Morales in the ninth and put the tying run aboard instantly on Tim Stalker's double to left-center, the first ball that wanted to fall on either side of Coca in the series. Spencer batted for Koel, STRUCK OUT (!!), and after a wild pitch moved the runner to third base, Daniel Bullock popped up for Fitzsimmons, bringing tears to my eyes. Then Ramos wiped them away with a single to right, knotting the score anew before he was caught stealing to send the game to extra innings.

Top 10th, the indescribably outrageous Tanzillo led off with a single off Snyder, after which Nunley fumbled a grounder by John Calfee in the #9 hole. Somehow, nobody came through after that as Snyder tiptoed out of a real mess on a fielder's choice, a foul pop, and a grounder to Nunley that didn't end up being accidentally devoured. The Raccoons put nobody on base in the 10th against Morales or the 11th Fernando Estrada, then watched Billy Brotman explode for five runs in the 12th, including homers by FITZSIMMONS and a 3-piece with two down by Torres. The Coons faked three runners on base in the bottom 12th, then had Gomez fly out to Wojnarowski to end the game. 9-4 Canadiens. Ramos 2-5, BB, RBI; Mora 3-6, 3B, 2B, RBI; O'Dell 2-5, HR, 2 RBI; Stalker 2-5, 2B;

That is six straight losses against THE ****ING ELKS, and each one is worse than the one before.

Game 3
VAN: 2B Gura – 3B Anton – CF Coca – LF A. Torres – 1B Myles – RF Day – SS Fitzsimmons – C Tanzillo – P Kelly
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Spencer – CF Mora – RF Kopp – 3B Nunley – LF Gerace – C Burrows – 1B Koel – P Anderson

"Most Slappable Face" poster boy for July, Ted Gura, led off the game with a bunt single, which was enough to send me for the liquor, although to be honest I hadn't stopped boozing since Thursday. All this despite Gura failing to score even after a wild pitch, and the Coons taking a 1-0 lead on Spencer, Mora, and Nunley singles in the bottom 1st. But, oh, I knew them better! They were just toying with me… they hated me… I knew that much!

The second inning saw Fitzsimmons (single) and Tanzillo (walk) reach base, also Anderson deceiving Kelly well enough for a 2-out balk, but Kelly struck out anyway. The next time Kells came up it was again with two on and two outs in the fourth. This time Anderson lost him on straight balls (…!!!) before Gura grounded out to Ramos. Somehow the Elks hadn't found that little… that tiny… that special poison yet. But there were plenty of innings left. And the home team's offense did NOTHING. Top 6th, Myles hit a leadoff double to centerfield, which was certainly going to do them in. Day flew out easily to left, but Fitzsimmons walked. At that point the miserable utility player that had only been promoted earlier this week after batting .306 in select action in AAA had been at the plate nine times in the series, and had reached every time but twice. GET THAT ****ER OUT NOW!!! For the moment, the other axe in the Coons' skull, Tanzillo, hit into an inning-ending double play.

Anderson's day ended in the seventh with an error by himself, dropping Koel's feed at first base that put Gura on as the tying run with one out. Wojnarowski was batting for Anton, and the Coons went to Josh Boles, who would not throw a single strike. With two on, Surginer entered in a double switch, walked them full against Coca, blew the lead on Torres' sac fly, walked Myles to restock the bases, and then Norman Day popped out to Nunley. Day was just lacking that … that little special something! Meanwhile the Coons kept performing like they had lacked oxygen to the brain ever since birth and would never score a run agai- oh hold on. Kelly kept pitching for Vancouver, and faced Kyle Koel to start the bottom 7th. He hung a breaking ball, and Koel belched it over the fence for a leadoff jack and a 2-1 lead! Surginer didn't even blow that one in the eighth despite a leadoff single by FitzAARGGGHH!! who remained stranded at second base. Snyder retired the Elks in order in the ninth, and somehow the Coons stumbled home winners in this one. 2-1 Blighters. Spencer 2-4; Mora 2-4; Gerace 2-3; Koel 2-3, HR, 2B, RBI;

All the left-handed regulars would get the day off against Muniz. Maybe we can win a 1-0 game behind another Delgadillo gem, IF the Elks made four errors in an inning.

Game 4
VAN: RF Wojnarowski – 3B Anton – CF Coca – LF A. Torres – 1B Myles – 2B Gura – SS Fitzsimmons – C Tanzillo – P Muniz
POR: 2B Spencer – SS Stalker – RF Gomez – C O'Dell – LF Gerace – 1B Koel – 3B Bullock – CF Magallanes – P Delgadillo

The gem was off the table right away with a walk to Wojnarowski, who stole second base, and then back-to-back 2-out RBI doubles by Torres and Myles that put the Elks ahead 2-0 early on. The Elks pushed a third run across after loading the bases in the third inning with Gura's sac fly with one out. The Raccoons had stranded Stalker and Gomez after singles in the first inning, then put Spencer and Stalker on the corners with leadoff singles in the bottom 3rd. The tying run was thus up with whatever power we had in the middle of the lineup. Gomez hit a sac fly. O'Dell hit into a double play. No, only the ****ING ELKS could get a hit with a runner in scoring position, like in the fourth inning. Tanzillo (single) and Wojnarowski (walk) were in scoring position, there were two outs, and Tony Coca singled them home with a liner to left. It never got better. Alex Torres hit a 3-run homer off Legleiter in the sixth inning. Somebody fumbled together something against Alvin Smith in the ninth. The Raccoons never fumbled together anything. They just made out upon out. Daniel Bullock drew 1-out walk in the fourth inning. He was the last base runner for the home team. 9-1 Canadiens. Stalker 2-4;

In other news

June 29 – The Indians lose SP Brian Leser (2-7, 4.20 ERA) to a torn rotator cuff. The 32-year-old is not expected back this season.
July 1 – RIC SP Rich Guerrero (10-4, 3.25 ERA) 3-hits the Gold Sox in a 6-0 win. He strikes out eight batters in the game.
July 1 – The Buffaloes lose RF/LF Dave O'Rourke (.252, 10 HR, 36 RBI) for the season with a broken elbow.
July 4 – DEN LF/CF Armando Martinez (.277, 6 HR, 37 RBI) retires from baseball with a torn labrum. The 30-year-old outfielder won World Series rings with the Aces in 2018 and 2019, his first two major league seasons, and batted .292 with 73 HR and 511 RBI overall. He led the league in stolen bases in 2021 and took 230 bags in his career.
July 5 – NYC RF/LF Nate Ellis (.287, 7 HR, 28 RBI) goes on the DL with a hamstring strain that is expected to take six weeks to heal.
July 5 – The Gold Sox blow an 8-run lead and the Scorpions rally to tie the game in a 7-run eighth inning before walking off in the ninth, 12-11. SAC 1B Luis Moreira (.253, 15 HR, 47 RBI) drives in four runs with a pair of dingers.

Complaints and stuff

Despite a bad slump (5-for-39) at the tail end of the month, Alberto Ramos took home his second monthly rookie award in June, batting .283 with 2 HR and 12 RBI.

Also, the Coons swept the Aces for the second time this season, and they truly did it in style, plating 27 runs between the three games. Overall this year in six games we have outscored them 44-13. I wonder what the Aces lack that other teams like the goddamn Elks have. I will not say anything about that series except that I don't remember the team getting raped so hard by a #7 batter in a series ever before.

Speaking of rape, the Mexican Prick let me know this week that he wants to see more happy families at games. I replied he should start watching Scorpions games and get the **** off my back in the meantime.

Jeff Mudge went unclaimed on waivers and is now roughly a $1.05M problem I am trying to solve because he can and will refuse minor league assignments. In a perfect world I could trade him for a first baseman of any denomination. Maybe we can find one in a wheelchair that no other team wants anymore. – What is it, Cristiano? – Why so upset? – I am sure the other guys on the roster love you just the way you are, too, not just Bullock. – Not that was just… because, y'know, a first baseman in a wheelchair has no value.

Okay, he rolled out now and is pretty mad at me, but there's a long line in front of the office of that sort of people…

With July 1 the International Amateur Free Agent period kicked off. However, since the Raccoons blasted $930k including tax last season, far exceeding the soft cap, they would not be able to sign anybody for more then $35,833 this year, so excitement would probably be low. It is also not a bad thing, because we don't have much budget left over anyway…

Fun Fact: The 1979 Raccoons remain the worst in franchise history, losing a lot early and never winning much at all and ending up 55-107.

Yeah, but even they won ten games in June…