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The Islandian Times
Sunday, May 27, 2001
Around the Towns in the IPA
SOUTH FORK STALLIONS
Owner: Bobby Ewing
GM: Finley Charles
Manager: DeRoche “Lips” Leon
South Fork is a rural and provincial town with a population of 58,000. The main industries are cattle and ranching mixed with agriculture. South Fork is situated in the fertile Caledonian River basin in southern Tycobbia. Rich and black alluvial soils produce a plethora of crops on the farms in the area.
This is cowboy country and home of the South Fork Stallions of the Islandian Pro Alliance, owned by Bobby Ewing of the wealthy, influential and powerful Ewing family headed by Jock Ewing. The Stallions play in the Tycobbian Union East Division.
Bobby and brother J. R. were squabbling vice-presidents of the Waleska Westerners of the Tycobbian Industrial League. To separate the two siblings, the family patriarch bought each one of them a baseball team. Bobby got South Fork and J. R. got the Ozarka Naturals. Bobby built a beautiful new stadium and named it after his daddy, Jock Ewing Stadium. It is located at the edge of town and has a wonderful panoramic view of the town rising up behind the gigantic electronic scoreboard. J. R. built a new state-of-the-art stadium with a monstrous scoreboard, too, and named it Ellie Ewing Stadium after his mom, Miss Ellis.
Stallions fans are a rowdy bunch who love their team. They never let up on the opposing teams, giving them a lot of discouraging words and a lot of harassing at every opportunity. They even throw home run balls hit by the opposition back onto the playing field. No self-respecting Stallions fan would want possession of a ball that harmed the best interests of their favorite team.
For entertainment the Stallions have a Texas swing band at every game. You ain’t never heard a better version of “Take me out to the ballgame”. There is a whole lot of two-steppin’ during the seventh inning stretch at Jock Ewing Stadium. And when the buckaroos and buckarettes mosey on over to the concessions stands hot and juicy charcoal-broiled steak sandwiches await them there along with imported Lone Star Beer (“Brewed deep in the heart of Texas”).
Life at Jock Ewing Stadium is like “Waltzing across Heaven”, except for the fact that Finley Charles is the Stallions’ GM and promotions director. Charles is famous for his creative promotions and innovations in baseball. His teams were the first to wear loud-colored uniforms, like solid orange road uniforms. One of his amateur teams even dressed in a soft pink and wore Bermuda shorts. He also experimented with an orange baseball and having only 3 balls and 2 strikes in the game. He said it would speed up the game and create more action. None of his leagues instituted his ideas, but he keeps trying.
His manager is that noted umpire baiter and debater, DeRoche “Lips” Leon, a very successful, but hot-headed and controversial skipper. “Lips” is rated a fine tactician and a very good motivator. As a player he was a “good field, no hit” rabble-rousing shortstop. His favorite saying is “nice guys finish last”. There is never a boring minute at Jock Ewing Stadium; Finley and “Lips” see to that.
Jock Ewing Stadium (2000)
Capacity: 11,750
Dimensions:
LF Line 347
LF 360
LCF 383
CF 400
RCF 383
RF 360
RF Line 347
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