Thread: Strangeverse
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Old 10-07-2019, 11:16 PM   #373
pauwoo
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,224
2077 Season (7/16 – 7/18)

But, first… regardless of your club affiliation, and despite your outright hatred of everything that the Cardinals stand for (it’s okay, embrace it), you must admit that there is no more beautiful play in baseball than a WALK-OFF SAC FLY IN EXTRAS!

Los Angeles Lakers (58-31, .652, 1st NL West) @ San Diego Chargers (35-52, .420, 5th NL West)
Look, let’s be honest, not much has changed since we last met the San Diego Chargers, in San Diego, only a scant few days ago or so – they are as we left them… still serviceable on offense and still dreadful on the bump. We’ll that’s not exactly true – they did trade away CF Smith Wells, the man with two last names, on the 6th, in exchange for a trio of garbage minor leaguers. They are embracing the suckage it seems… And so, it is - second verse, same as the first... I basically live in San Diego now and probably need to start thinking about finding an apartment. This is not a complaint - 3 more days in paradise spent sampling the local cuisine while locking horns with a club whose form looks to be pitiful is as good a way to spend some time as any from my perspective. Of course, I’ll be here, my assistant, however, will not - it seems that the Bush League club in Sunrise, Florida is contemplating a sale and I’ve sent her to investigate (and to scout the team). I expect mixed results on that initiative (she doesn’t even like baseball) – so, in addition to missing several meetings because, without her at the helm, I’m terribly disorganized and wholly incapable of being a serviceable GM, I should also get a poorly worded recap of a game that she could barely be bothered to pay attention to in the next few days. It will most likely come as a series of text messages, sent back to back, and at inexplicable speed. I wonder what kind of emoji’s she’ll use…

90 of 162: Paul Yeager (12-3, 3.27) @ Burt McElheny (7-6, 4.00)
Loss, 5-2
. Burt McElheny, it turns out, is the sultan of swag – he spent his time on the mound today talking to the ball and willing it to do his bidding against us… the crusty, handle-bar mustachioed, vet went 7.1 innings of 6-hit, 2-run ball against us here while Yeager spent the same amount of time on the bump but let twice as many runs get across. Hey… we weren’t without highlights (actually, we were) – I mean OH HONG went 2 for 3 (he hit a double – his lucky 13th) before our skipper lifted him in a low-leverage situation for PH O-MACK, PEPPER left 6 on-base, Dom had another passed ball (leading to the unearned 5th run), and Dontrell Gay struck out 3 times. Here’s the thing – when we’re bad, we’re really bad…

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A text from Megan, my assistant… hey boss �� I went to that game you told me about. The team with the taco on their hat won I think.

A 2nd text from Megan, my assistant… the thrower had one of those mustache’s you like, his name is EJ Born – he’s like 34. he told me after the game that he won the Pacheco in 71. pretty cool lol

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Clearly, I’ve made a mistake…

91 of 162: Dejuan Burns (8-5, 3.39) @ Teagan Rachel (8-3, 3.65)
Loss, 6-3
. Well, I think that it is safe to say that San Diego sucks… the weather is too nice, the local talent too attractive, and the baseball is meh… Teagan went 8 and gave up 3 while Dejuan gave up twice that, including 3 in the bottom of the 1st… Otto hit a SAC FLY. That’s all I got, man. Seriously – that. is. it.

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Elsewhere: Some guy, out of Houston, named Mick Udelhoven went 5 for 6 with a double, a homer, and 2 ribbies in the Dynamo’s 5-4 loss in Portland. Only Houston finds a way to lose that game… Also, SP Steve Allen, of the Dallas Cowboys, pitched a complete game, 4-hit, shutout in their 10-0 win over the Los Angeles Galaxy and, in the process, has done his part to make sure that all of the baseball fans in Los Angeles will go to bed unhappy tonight. Fun times…

92 of 162: Michael Brisk (8-6, 4.07) @ Artyom Fadeyev (3-12, 6.51)
Loss, 5-4
. Before we left this morning, Brisky came to my room and told me that the only way he’d feel comfortable on the mound tonight would be if I rented him a Lambo to drive over to the ballpark. I told him no and that he was being ridiculous – it turns out, I was wrong. Brisky was fine – 7IP, 4H, 2ER – but the La La’s were not. Instead, we were on the wrong end of a sweep for the first time in 2077. PEPPER hit one out, OH HONG struck out 3 times, Ethan hit a SAC FLY, and Hamza got caught stealing (I’m not bailing him out this time), Jonny Garcia falls to 2-2 after blowing his first save of the season – dude gave up 3 runs and didn’t even make it through the 8th frame. I mean… whatever.

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Elsewhere: Heathcote Kinton (LAG) went 3 for 4 with 2 jacks, 6 ribbies, and 2 runs in the Galaxy’s 10-7 win over the Cowboys – some sweep revenge for the other LA club (I wonder what that feels like…). HK is now hitting .325 with 18 HRs and 65 RBIs on the year – and his WAR is now at 5.0 – he’s pretty good at this… in Carolina, 1B Pablo Madera hit a GRAND SLAM in the Panthers 10-6 win over the Jacksonville Jaguars… he’s also pretty good at baseball. Our lead over the Suns is back down to 4 ½ games – a real two steps forward, one step back situation… Hamza is no longer leading the league in steals as that honor now belongs to Jamie Burke of the San Diego Chargers – that brat went 2 for 3 in steal attempts against us during this set while Hamza went 0-1. The kid is a 26-year old speed demon out of Arizona State (and who was born in Chandler, AZ) that can play a little bit of defense, hit it around a smidge, and who runs like the dickens.

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Last edited by pauwoo; 10-07-2019 at 11:54 PM.
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