Montreal Wanderers (15-18, .455, 5th NL East) @ Miami United (17-19, .472, 4th NL East)
It’s good to be home – back on my swanky houseboat, the Twin Palms Bar & Laundromat only a short walk away, and a cool ocean breeze to greet me each evening – but, are our fans as glad that we’re back as we are to be back? I’m not so sure… we’ve limped back into town after being roughed up, rolled, and otherwise manhandled on the road with a 3-7 record in our last 10 and currently riding a 4-game losing streak. That we will welcome the equally dreadful Wanderers to town is of no real consolation – with their terrible offense in need of a jump start and their stout pitching and defense primed to give us fits, we could be in for a rough time. At issue here is that we, by our, admittedly, low standards are not necessarily playing bad… it’s that our ceiling right now resembles that of a camper van instead of the cathedral I had in Los Angeles. And, well, despite the crew I’ve assembled together for this latest adventure, my confidence has been tested. It’s not doing well – my No. 2 pencil isn’t sharp, somebody chewed off its eraser, and, as it turns out, simply selecting C for every multiple-choice question is not actually a good strategy. In Montreal, we will face some of the Strangeverse OG’s – Randall Berger (34, 1x Boyce Rigg, 7x All-Star), Julen Morales (33, 1x All-Star), and Nat Millard (37, 2x WS Champ, 1x All-Star, 2x GG)… they’ve all seen better days, sure, but they all also have a little something left in the tank and we’re a straight-away… no turns, no hills, just a flat track that is content to not offer much to challenge one’s driving ability. You just have to drive, and you should be fine. Our club needs to find a way to get back on track here – Montreal is the type of club we must beat. And, true, it is early yet, but I can’t help feeling like this set will have a lot to say about how we finish the month of May.
37 of 162: Joseph Grace (4-1, 4.00) @ Kordell Littles (1-1, 8.68)
Win, 8-3. We managed to punch more than a few through Montreal’s stout defense and Kordell managed to give a better account of himself than he did during his last time out… Our future stud went 6 strong innings, struck out 6 batters, and only allowed 3 earned runs while Travis Scharmer went 2 for 4 with 2 RBIs and 2 Runs to help the Hot Pinks put an end to our losing streak in an attempt to build something new… Saul Guzman picked up his first save of the year, Anaconda & Rex both scored twice, OH HONG scored one and drove one in on 3 for 5 hitting. 2 doubles, a triple, and 2 stolen bags for our club in this one – happy with this effort, but I’ll need to see it sustained before I get too excited.
Elsewhere: I’m hearing rumors that there is a secret bar housed within the Twin Palms Bar & Laundromat – something similar to an Elks club… the Benevolent Order of the Red Snapper or something like that… I dunno, I’m having a hard time dialing it in. Sounds mysterious and cool… and mysteriously cool, and I want in. I just need to figure out who I need to talk to in order for that to happen – it’d be helpful if Loretta would hurry up and get LA out of her system – first, it was my favorite pair of pants and now… this. We need her to get back to work.
38 of 162: Julen Morales (1-3, 4.61) @ Radoslav Borovsky (2-3, 3.67)
Win, 4-2. Rex hit a 2-run homer in the bottom of the 8th that sealed the deal for us in this one… which, prior to that moment was mostly a lackluster affair, all mechanical and going through the motions, until he put that blast on the board. OH HONG and Anaconda went a combined 0 for 7 with a walk, Kyle Weaver brought in a run, we stole 4 bags (2x for Felger), and got a 111 pitch effort from Radoslav where he only allowed 2 runs (on a HR), K’d 4 and doled out 4 free passes. Look, our effort from last night was not sustained here – but, we got the win, and, at the end of the day, it’s just nice to be a .500 ballclub again with a chance to secure a sweep in front of our hometown fans.
39 of 162: Dylan Bauer (1-3, 4.46) @ Mirko Samsonenko (2-5, 3.91)
Loss, 3-1. A sweep would be too much – the universe couldn’t let that happen lest it risk the balance of the space-time continuum… why risk a rip in the fabric of time when the universe can just make us lose like we are supposed to? Archie Imanov hit a homer for Montreal in the 4th to put them up for good, we, as a team, managed to squeeze the proverbial lemon for one run of our own, and, while Mirko was mostly fine, he couldn’t give us enough for our anemic offense to get over in the 3rd tilt of this 3-game set. The RBI went to Felger, it was of the 2-out variety, and we struck out 9 times as a unit (2 each for OH HONG and Weaver, 3x for Donovan Taylor)... all told 34K came out to see this game and the smart money says that at least half of them won’t be back anytime soon. I mean, why would they? We ran out of wasabi fries in the 4th, are trying to charge $5 per hotdog, and played an uninspired, deficient brand of baseball. Elvira has asked me to meet her tomorrow on the houseboat for an impromptu meeting – so, yeah, probably getting fired. I'll need to spend many a hard-earned dollar at the Twin Palms this evening – I want to be good & useless for our discussion… she deserves a good glimpse into the fraudulent VP of Baseball Operations she hired to Captain this outfit.
Elsewhere: 3B Brantley Kirby, of the PDX Timbers, went 3 for 4 with 2 jacks, 6 riblets, and 3 runs in Portland’s 9-6 win over their PNW rival Seattle Sounders… This Kirby kid has a lot going for him – popular with the locals, solid in the field, has a good eye and rarely strikes out, and flexes one of the premier mustaches in all of Strangeverse. Kid’s solid, better than solid actually, and has a bright future ahead of him… I see him as a version of Ethan Mullens. It’ll be fun to see what he does over the next decade.
