[PrinceofKirkland]

Time to meet the teams that will participate in the inaugural season!

Boise Badgers: Crump wanted a team for his hometown, so he personally financed the Boise Badgers himself. They would play in a child’s utopia, filled with playgrounds, a pool and plenty of Crump Candy stores, known as The Den. They had a relatively small payroll, ranking 6th in the League. They would wear Black and Grey and their Mascot was Babe the Badger, a Cigar Smoking Badger in honor of the Great Bambino.

Seattle Seagulls: Colombian Oil Baron Rafael Guillen was always out to prove he could outdo someone else and no better way to prove that by having the best baseball team. And then to one up himself, he wanted to do it in Seattle, a baseball wasteland. He was the first to hop on the Crump train, desperate to take the Seattle Market to a championship. The Gulls would play in The Bay, a slick, modern, steel and glass stadium. They would wear Teal, Yellow and White and their Mascots would be Sally the Seagull and her comedic sidekick Baygull who was an anthropomorphic Bagel in a top hat. They have the third highest payroll in the league

Los Angles Saints: Once upon a time, in the glitz of Hollywood, young producer Jack Blackburn watched the dominance of the showtime Lakers. After the surprise success of the first Cow Assassin movie, followed by the critically acclaimed Cow Assassin II: The Reckoning, Blackburn saw an opportunity to recreate that childhood joy with his own franchise. Thus, the Saints were born. The Silver Palace, a stadium that can only be described as grossly decadent was quickly built. The uniforms were clean, white and red and they were the only team with no home and away jerseys. “The team speaks for itself” Blackburn said. A man in a full suit of armor, Sir Swatsalot pumped up the crowd by racing a horse around the field. Their payroll was the highest in the league.

San Francisco Electricity: British Tech Developer and former professional cricket player Maxwell Pennington jumped at the opportunity to fund hitting a ball with a stick once again. He built the Power Plant, a steam punk themed stadium and created Andy the Automaton, a robotic mascot. The electricity wear blue and yellow and had the seventh highest budget in the league. Max was excited but, despite being the richest owner was not completely ready to shell out the big bucks.

Salt Lake City Cannons: The Pirates Deck was constructed by Rafael Bautista, the second Rafael. He was also an Oil Baron and a huge rival with his namesake Guillen. Although he wasn’t as rich, when he heard Guillen was joining the start up league, he had to join in too. He picked Salt Lake City and decided he would shoot off confetti cannons every time his boys hit a dinger. The cannons were represented by Captain Petey Parrot, a parrot with a peg leg. They are set to wear Orange and Black and were tied with the Electricity for the seventh highest budget in the league.

Denver Thunderbirds: Up on the high peaks, richest and also stingiest man in America, Rob Vaughn decided to cast his lot. With his hometown in California taken, Vaughn moved to Colorado, a market he believed could really support a team. He built “The Roost” a beautiful stadium with a natural theme and a mountain serving a batting eye. The Thunderbirds wear yellow (I am now noticing how much yellow is in the league but it’s mostly an accent, Denver is the one exception) and grey. Buzzy the Bird takes the mantle of Mascot and the team has the second largest budget in the league.

Santa Fe Rattlers: In New Mexico, former disgraced basketball team owner Bobby Raines decided it was time for a second shot at the professional sports league game. He picked a relatively small market to hide himself and thus the Santa Fe Rattlers were created without much fanfare. The Rattlers nest was a classic field with a desert, sandstone theme. Ssammy, a snake mascot would soon become famous for his pranks and general hijinks with opposing stars. The Rattlers wear Brown, yellow (I like yellow) and black. They are tied for fourth in payroll.

Portland Unicorns: The Rattlers were tied for fourth in payroll by the Portland Unicorns. Rob Lee had never been much into sports, but he enjoyed being the center of attention as a Broadway producer. He asked Crump where his team should be, and Crump answered Portland as the most logical answer geographically and Lee obliged. Wilber the Unicorn holds the reigns as mascot. The Glade was a garish stadium which instantly became on of the best concert venues in the country. The Unicorns became known as the Boys in Green with their light green and grey uniforms.

The teams were set. The draft was done. The teams were filled. All the was left was spring training and then, finally, the season. The Rattlers became the story of spring training winning 11 out of 12 games. Despite this, they were only predicted to finish third by the pundits. The two richest teams, Los Angles and Denver Thunderbird were seen as the two favourites to make the inaugural playoffs with Los Angles getting the slight edge. Santa Fe was predicted to finish third. All the other teams were predicted to finish under .500. Boise and Salt Lake City were predicted to tie in fourth and fifth, with Seattle, Portland and San Francisco rounding out the basement.

But preseason predictions are fickle, and pundits are often wrong. The only way to know for sure is to play ball. I’ll be back two months (in game months) to update you on every team. Let's play ball!