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Old 09-11-2019, 10:32 PM   #313
pauwoo
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Seattle
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2076 Season (8/27 - 8/31)

Los Angeles Lakers (80-47, .630, 1st NL West) @ Phoenix Suns (72-55, .567, 2nd NL West)
The Phoenix Suns are behind schedule, they’ve missed their delivery date. This is where I’d like to give in to my spite, point fingers, and say, “see, you should’ve have kept me”. But I won’t, because it’s no one’s fault - in fact, the new regime has done just fine without me. They’ve trimmed some of the fat I’d left behind, cut bait on prospects where the pan had come up empty too many times, and, over the last two seasons, have been the favorite paper tiger of all the important pundits. But for injuries - lots and lots of injuries - they’d be a serious contender instead of the low-key nuisance they’ve been so far in 2076 (and, really, 2075 too). And it’s not been a problem of depth either as they’ve carried 8+ players on the IL for significant stretches over the last two years with their arms taking the brunt of that pain... theirs has been a story of snapped ligaments and lower back pain where they’ve been good enough to annoy but too broken to really make some power moves in the NL West. Their offense, led by SS Ray Gerhold (.354/6/53), has been formidable... ranked 1st overall in the NL and holding down the #1 spot in Runs Scored, AVG, OBP, OPS, and wOBA - and their pitching, despite its injury woes and underperforming prospects, has been among the okayest in the Bigs (ranked 5th as a unit and 3rd in Bullpen ERA). They’ve essentially taken these lemons, so many lemons, and have made some bootleg lemonade where the sugar was substituted with monk fruit sweetener - it’s worked in a pinch, but we know, we all know, that it’s not the real thing... not like mom used to make. They’ve been solid of late and always seem to get up when we are in town - so this could be a series where we stumble a bit, causing me to be a depressed version of myself as I hit all my favorite Phoenix spots and make time to sync up with old friends over the next four days...

129 of 162: Michael Brisk (12-7, 3.84) @ Jack Sanchez-Flores (8-6, 5.06)
Loss, 6-4
. Ouch. The Suns ride a 5-run 8th to victory in this one – we probably left Brisky in a bit two long as he started to unravel in that frame and was responsible for the first two of those five runs. RF Burton Darden, who I’ve never even heard of – I think maybe they grabbed him from the snowcone concession – went 2 for 4 with a HR and 2 RBIs and earned the PoTG honor… not too shabby for a nobody… But, the real story here was the undoing of Rudolf Caldwell who has suddenly taken a nosedive with Barbaccia’s return – he gave up 3 in the 8th, took the loss (his 3rd), blew the save (his 4th time doing that) – all on 22 pitches. Goof grief… Also, in more bad injury news for Phoenix, SP Jack Sanchez-Flores left after the 4th with an undisclosed injury.

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Elsewhere: LF Isidro Lutz’s 5-hit performance led the way for the Jacksonville Jaguars tonight as they crushed the Toronto Reds BC by a score of 13-0. Lutz, always the gamer, has not had too many games like this so far in 2076 – the 11-year vet is hitting a subpar .259 this year but does have 18 HRs and 76 RBIs.

130 of 162: Nat Millard (14-3, 2.66) @ Patrick Keith (5-2, 1.92)
Loss, 6-2
. Subdued by Keith… he went 8-innings with 1 earned and 8 K’s, while Nat only gives us 5 in this one. SS Ray Gerhold hit one out for Phoenix – I kind of hate him – and our guys didn’t do much for us tonight… Hanan hit a double, Otto stole a bag, Kwaku got two hits… I’m starting to dread a potential playoff matchup against these guys…

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131 of 162: Lee Myers (13-5, 3.83) @ Julen Morales (12-7, 4.11)
Loss, 15-11
. Well, ****. Can you overdose on Tums? Is that a thing – does that happen to people? We had some highlights – take Kwaku’s 5 RBIs or that another bag was stolen by Lonzo for instance – but does it really matter when you have three errors that lead to three unearned runs? That’s a rhetorical question – you don’t have to answer it, because IT DOESN’T MATTER. Even the fact that we chased former Laker, Julen Morales, out of the game after only 2.2 innings doesn’t matter because we got used, abused, and put away wet in this one. 4 RBIs for Gerhold, 4 for a guy called Avery Robertson (WHO TF IS THIS GUY? WHO GAVE HIM A UNIFORM?), and 3 HRs for the Burnt Orange and Eggplant Purple. They are playing us like marionettes.

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Elsewhere: Seattle’s Frodo Gonzales, straight out of the shire, went 3 for 4 with 2 jacks 4 RBIs and 2 runs in the Sounders’ 6-5 loss against the Dallas Cowboys. Not sure what is more interesting… that his parents named him Frodo, that he is a UCLA Alum who grew up in Texas (usually people move the other way, right?), or that he is a guy named Frodo who also happens to be 6’4” tall… the 24-year old, recently called up Big Leaguer is hitting .290 with 7 HRs and 25 RBIs in 37 games on the big stage. He doesn’t rate very high – so he’s probably set to fizzle out soon – but is making the most of the opportunity thus far. Enjoy it while you can Frodo, life gets rough when you leave the Shire

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132 of 162: Dejuan Burns (13-7, 3.44) @ Bentley Hawkins (11-8, 4.82)
Win, 9-5
. Dejuan Burns gives us just enough to head out of town with some of our dignity still intact… 6 IP, 3 ER, 4 K’s, and Bootleg Pepper (Dontrell Gay) went 3 for 5 with a HR and 2 RBI… Otto drives in a run, Newman & Rollins get 3 hits each, Hanan scored twice, Rollins hit his 20th double, Dom hits #16 out of the park, and Newman (23) & Mullens (29) each steal a bag. Not even our best effort of the series here – but we won, and that’s really the only thing that matters.

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This is where I would recap the series, maybe add in a preview of things to come – talk a little smack, highlight that, for some unknown reason, we are ranked #1 in the weekly power rank… but I won’t. This one hurts – I have come to loathe the Suns, all that they stand for, their awful kits, the heat, their fans, the local restaurants, the super tasty tomatoes… everything they know and love. What a crap series – look, this isn’t the end of the world, there is a lot of baseball left to be played – but we can’t fade into nothingness like this and expect to win the World Series. We must be able to dig deep, to win these tough road games when we shouldn’t… We were absolute trash over the last four days and trash, my friends, does not win championships.
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Last edited by pauwoo; 09-11-2019 at 10:56 PM.
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