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Old 05-10-2016, 05:56 PM   #8
Paulie123
All Star Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Manchester, England
Posts: 1,945
20 Jan 2035

A hack from the WSJ Online called to ask if it was true I was in negotiations with the New York Yankees. The Yankees! As if. I'd rather go to a One Direction 25th anniversary reunion concert. I'd even rather be GM of the San Francisco Giants. "That's a 'no' then, is it?", asked the journo. "That's a no", I replied.

22 Jan 2035

I told Den Percent that I hadn't finally decided, but I was probably going to accept the Hedgehogs job. That sounds a great idea, he said. You just want your ten percent, you old charlatan, I said. If you would be so kind, he said.

25 Jan 2035

I phoned Rodrigo Miller and said I'd be delighted to accept the Leeds Hedgehogs GM post. I'm really excited, back in baseball already, and with the chance to contribute to a flourishing league. I fly out to England on the 27th and will be unveiled at a press conference on 28th.

28 Jan 2035

"Shock as Beane set to be named new Hedgehogs GM", went one headline in this morning's e-papers. "Beane risks legendary reputation with foolhardy move to EBA", "EBA challenge to MLB dominance grows with arrival of Beane", "Spiky Beane joins the Hedgehogs", and "Beane Hedgehogs move sparks house price warning" were among the others. The last one was the Daily Mail, obviously.

The press conference went fine. I've only done about 3,000 of them before. I was at pains to say to the reporters that the Hedgehogs fans shouldn't expect instant miracles. I'm not a magician, far from it. It's a funny old game, and we (we!) were only 69-93 last year, after all. But in the likes of 4-time all-star catcher Kenshin Hayashi, young infielder Ken Moore, and starting pitcher Scott McGivern, we have some of the building blocks of a good roster. Judging by the gaggle of chanting fans gathered outside the stadium after the press conference ended, the message of patience may not have got through.

So, it's official, I'm back in the game as GM of the Hedgehogs. The holidays can wait until I'm much older and more decrepit. The alarm clock will ring once again in the morning. It's time to get to work.
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