[Westheim]

Originally Posted by DD Martin

I’ll bite the bullet for the team and bring my 72 mph fastball and 45mph change up with me. My daughter is a fastball pitcher and could probably out do Riggs

Really been an unexpected tough season for the Raccoons but at least you will get a top draft pick out of this mess

A very noble offer, dear Sir, and we will consider whethe- ah **** it, here's a glove. No, we only have a glove for the right hand, you have to throw left-handed.

Yes, you both have to share the glove, too.

+++

Raccoons (67-82) vs. Aces (65-84) – September 16-18, 2030

Last CL South opponent for the year. The Coons were seven under .500 against the South this year, and 2-4 against the Jokers – yeah, not many actual aces with the Aces, either! Las Vegas ranked 11th in runs scored, ninth in runs allowed, and had their work cut out for the future, just like these Raccoons. This was also the last home series of 2030.

Projected matchups:
Jason Gurney (1-1, 3.18 ERA) vs. Ismael Gutierrez (13-10, 3.97 ERA)
Tom Shumway (7-14, 4.12 ERA) vs. Alex Ortiz (7-13, 5.17 ERA)
Mark Roberts (11-10, 3.98 ERA) vs. Pete Molina (8-9, 4.07 ERA)

All righties here.

The Raccoons also shoveled Rico Gutierrez’ tarred and feathered remains onto the DL for the rest of the year. And this became the major league debut for Raffaello Sabre – the “oldest” (just turned 22) of our young future pitchers. No more Sean Rigg. One more game by Sean Rigg, and I’m gonna bolt. However, Sabre was not added to the roster yet to protect his service clock. The Coons had an off day on Thursday, which would help them, but they would need the extra arm in the final week. Sabre would then make either one or even two starts (including the season finale?) next week.

Game 1
LVA: RF Crow – LF Dunlap – 1B Ra. Tello – SS Schlegelmilch – 2B Ronchetti – 3B Borchardt – CF Lynch – C Scheffer – P I. Gutierrez
POR: SS Ramos – RF Allan – 2B Stalker – 1B Harenberg – 3B Nunley – LF Jamieson – CF Catella – C Pizzo – P Gurney

Four hits trickled through the infield through all the seams in the first inning, with Nick Ronchetti plating Tom Dunlap for the only run; Ramon Tello, Ronchetti, and Joel Borchardt were all stranded when Kevin Lynch grounded out to Nunley. That was far, far from everything that fell out of Gurney, who somehow got through three innings without blowing up before the bags were loaded in the fourth, one out, and Ramon Tello at the plate. Here came for sure the most weird-ass play of the season, if not decade. Tello zinged a double into the left-center gap. That was not weird-ass, just sad. Ismael Gutierrez scored, Andy Crow scored, Tom Dunlap was sent from first base, thrown out on a MASSIVE throw by Matt Jamieson and – oh! – there was Tello stranded between second and third, hung up, and didn’t know where to go! Pizzo to Nunley – out! An inning-ending, 1-out, 2-run double, 7-2-5!

Gutierrez loaded the bags with Coons reaching solely on balls in the bottom 4th. Jamieson would get in an RBI single, only the team’s second hit in the game, but Catella and Pizzo both made poor outs and stranded a full set. Gurney limped through five, gave up three walks, ten hits – the last of which was a solo homer by Joel Borchardt – and was rewarded by being put up for the win when the team rallied over Gutierrez in the bottom 5th. Ramos and Allan reached base with one out, stole a pair of sacks, then scored on a Stalker single (Ramos) and a wild pitch (Allan). Harenberg walked, Nunley was robbed by Dunlap in left, but Dunlap had no chance on Matt Jamieson’s shot, a long-gone 3-run homer that put the Coons up 6-4. The Critters’ pen would put up 2.2 innings of hitless relief before PH Evan Donahue tripled off Garavito in the eighth. Andy Crow singled in the run before Dunlap struck out to end the top 8th, with the lead down to a skinny run. Allan left runners on the corners in the bottom 8th, but Ricky Ohl fought his way through a hailstorm of left-handed power hitters sent up as pinch-hitters in the ninth inning (Ruben Orozco, Ramiro Barrientos, and Josh Motley had 32 homers between them this season) and got three groundouts to end the game. 6-5 Coons. Ramos 2-5; Harenberg 1-2, 2 BB; Jamieson 2-4, HR, 4 RBI; Magallanes (PH) 1-1;

Next was Tom Shumway – eh… not. Tom Shumway was a scratch, having come down with a severe earache and there was no way he’d pitch with his skull exploding. Hel-lo, spot starter Billy Ramm (1-0, 0.00 ERA). Don’t get fooled; remember he was 5-6 with a 5.45 ERA last season.

Game 2
LVA: RF Crow – LF Dunlap – 1B Ra. Tello – SS Schlegelmilch – 2B Ronchetti – 3B Borchardt – CF Lynch – C Scheffer – P A. Ortiz
POR: SS Ramos – RF Allan – 2B Stalker – 1B Harenberg – 3B Nunley – LF Jamieson – CF Catella – C Ivey – P Ramm

Of course everything was awesome, Billy Ramm tossed a 3-hit shutout, and everybody went home happy. – Of course not! That is the sort of **** that I tell Chad after the game to get him to sleep!

Crow tripled to begin the game and his run came across on a Ramon Tello single, but that was only one run and Alex Ortiz was soon hit for far more. The Raccoons got Jamieson on base with a single in the bottom 2nd, and Sean Catella got nailed. Shane Ivey struck out to run his line to 0-for-11 for this cup of coffee, but Billy Ramm crucially legged out an infield single on a 3-2 pitch, and the Aces came unhinged right away. Alberto Ramos singled sharply to right, plating two to reach the 50 RBI plateau, which was remarkable for a leadoff batter coming up behind the sort of gunk we were playing in the 7-8-9 holes. Catella drew a throw from Crow that was late, allowing the remaining runners to gain an extra base, which meant both scored on Ryan Allan’s single to center, running the tally to 4-1 until Stalker grounded out to end the inning. Ted Schlegelmilch pulled a run back with an RBI single, plating Crow in the top 3rd, one of two Aces Ramm had carelessly walked before the cleanup man came up. Bottom 3rd, the Coons had a Harenberg double, a walk drawn by Nunley, and Jamieson singled; three on and nobody out in the inning. After Catella annoyingly flew out to shallow left to keep everybody pinned, Shane Ivey poked at a 3-1 pitch that was none his business. The bouncer got past Borchardt, however, for an RBI single, 5-2. Ramm struck out, but Ramos hit a ball off the fence for his second 2-run knock, this one a 2-out double, running the tally to 7-2 and knocking out Ortiz. Relief man Russell Curtis then got Allan to fly out to left.

However, the Aces just couldn’t get ANYBODY out. Bottom 4th, the bags were soon loaded against Casey McQueen with two outs. Ivey singled up the middle, plating two. Ramm singled up the middle, plating one more. Ramos doubled past Dunlap, bringing in his fifth run of the game, 11-2. Perhaps more miraculous than the 11-run outburst across three innings was that Billy Ramm settled down somewhat; he spilled a few more walks down the road, but actually did manage to go seven innings of 3-hit ball. Never mind the pawful of walks. After seven and along with Ramm left most of the Raccoons’ everyday players. The reserves and Nick Bates would surely finish this game. And they did! Bates, not really a long guy, looked gassed after only 34 pitches, but it was enough to get the last six outs from the Aces and put this rout into the books. 11-2 Furballs! Ramos 3-5, 2 2B, 5 RBI; Allan 3-5, 2 RBI; Stalker 2-5; Nunley 2-3, 2 BB; Jamieson 2-4, BB; Ivey 3-5, 3 RBI; Ramm 7.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 5 BB, 5 K, W (2-0) and 2-3, RBI; Bates 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K;

Shumway still couldn’t go on Wednesday, so Mark Roberts would make his start on schedule. Shumway was reassigned to the opener in Milwaukee on Friday. This of course would also change the table on Raffaello Sabre; it was now no longer necessary for him to make two starts.

Nick Valdes would also pay the ballpark one last visit before we’d nail it shut for the winter. He was accompanied but what appeared to be three incredibly dumb supermodels that were also each at least one head taller than him. Maud recognized them from the fashion magazine covers, but nobody else was very impressed by their presence. Everybody around here was way too much into food and balls to give anything about supermodels, and the only magazines we read were about food and balls.

Game 3
LVA: RF Crow – CF Lynch – 1B Ra. Tello – SS Schlegelmilch – 2B Ronchetti – 3B Borchardt – LF Montes – C Scheffer – P P. Molina
POR: SS Ramos – 3B Nunley – LF Jamieson – 1B Harenberg – 2B Stalker – RF Gomez – C Tovias – CF Magallanes – P Roberts

Valdes asked whether the Raccoons were getting into playoff form while Ramos singled, stole second (#70), moved up on a Jamieson single, scored on a Harenberg single, Stalker doubled home Jamieson, and Gomez hit a sac fly to right to make it 3-0 in the first after Roberts had whiffed the side to begin the game. I bluntly replied No, then ordered supermodel #2 to put down the Kisho Saito bobblehead, which was very dear to me. There were at least four words in that sentence she didn’t understand, not least of which “Kisho” and “Saito”. We quabbled about all of that for a bit before a terrible loud noise shook the park – it was Philip Sheffer hitting a 1-2 pitch with runners on the corners and belting a ball to deep left. To anybody’s amazement, Jamieson snared the ball off the top of the fence, and the top of the second ended with the 3-0 score still in place. Also, ladies, it’s September, and you are wearing almost nothing! – And there comes Maud with a set of blankets.

Jamieson and Stalker added a run with a pair of doubles in the bottom 3rd, Ramos stole a base in a pitchout but was stranded in the fourth, and Roberts whiffed seven through three, then began to really struggle. After a leadoff single by Andy Montes in the top 5th, Scheffer was robbed of at least extra bases for the second time by Rafael Gomez, who also caught a soft fly by Andy Crow racing inwards to end the inning. Bottom 5th, Jamieson (nailed by Molina) and Stalker (double) were in scoring position with one out for Gomez, who grounded to second to get Jamieson home, 5-0. Tovias grounded into no man’s land on the infield, the Aces couldn’t make the play, and the lead-footed catcher had an RBI single, 6-0. Harenberg added a run in the sixth, while Roberts finally came apart in the seventh inning, allowing a walk to Montes and an RBI double to Scheffer, who finally found the green stuff in the outfield. One groundout advanced Scheffer to third, and when Surginer replaced him, PH In-chul Yi hit a grounder to short to get the second run across, but the Coons pulled those runs back in the bottom of the inning as the Aces pen kept being taken apart. Right-hander John Woods allowed a single to Gomez, a double to Tovias, and a pair of groundouts would do the trick, and Tovias and Ramos drove in three runs total off Woods and Steve Carr in the ninth inning, all with two outs to give the Coons back-to-back rout wins in their final games in Portland for 2030. Nick Derks retired the side in order in the ninth, with the remaining fans that had made it through the season with or without going insane (some 16,000 attended the game) showing their appreciation after conclusion of the contest. 12-2 Furballs. Ramos 4-6, 3 RBI; Jamieson 3-4, 2B; Harenberg 3-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Stalker 3-5, 3 2B, 2 RBI; Tovias 3-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Magallanes 2-5, RBI; Roberts 6.1 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, W (12-10) and 1-3;

That was our 70th win of the season.

Oh yeah, the supermodels fled in horror when they first saw a table full of food including a cake, two pies, bowls of noodles and yogurt, an entire ham and several loafs of bread – or a lifetime’s supply of food for all three of them combined – THEN Matt Nunley sitting down at the table and piling EVERYTHING in his face.

Raccoons (70-82) @ Loggers (73-79) – September 20-22, 2030

The Loggers were scrambling to come up with a winning record for soul-soothing purposes, although playing the Raccoons was probably a bad plan for them. Of the 15 contests the team had fought out on the season, the Raccoons had won a full dozen. (Do not do the math on where we’d sit if there were no Loggers in the league. Don’t. Just don’t.) They were having a 5-game winning streak, so they sure had SOME momentum, but were scoring the third-fewest runs in the league, which didn’t help having the second-best pitching. They had also been unlucky or unclutch, or whatever you’d want to call it; despite sitting six games under .500, they had a positive run differential of +20.

Projected matchups:
Tom Shumway (7-14, 4.12 ERA) vs. Francisco Colmenarez (17-5, 2.00 ERA)
Dave Martinez (14-11, 3.96 ERA) vs. Joe West (7-17, 3.78 ERA)
Jason Gurney (2-1, 4.09 ERA) vs. Morgan Shepherd (5-7, 2.95 ERA)

We would face a southpaw, then two right-handers for this weekend set.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – LF Jamieson – 1B Harenberg – CF Catella – RF Gomez – C Tovias – 3B Gerster – P Shumway
MIL: CF Creech – RF Cambra – C J. Young – 1B W. Aquino – LF Ferrales – 2B Sessoms – SS Lockert – 3B Parten – P Colmenarez

While the offense did next to nothing and got only two base hits off Colmenarez through five, Tom Shumway retired the first 12 hitters in a row to begin the game. The vague thought that he might toss a second no-hitter this year suffered a first dash when Tim Stalker’s throwing error put Wilson Aquino on second base to begin the bottom 5th, and was then killed altogether on Ricardo Ferrales’ double off the leftfield wall. That one drove in Aquino, and Ferrales would score on two productive outs, Aaron Sessoms rolling over to second and Matt Lockert hitting a sac fly to center. Aquino drove in another run in the sixth in which a rapidly decomposing Tom Shumway issued three singles to the Loggers. He lasted only six and a third, allowing a double to Jason Parten in the seventh inning before being yanked. Fleischer walked Gabe Creech, the only batter he faced, but Garavito would dig the other pitchers out in the inning. None of it mattered; Colmenarez pitched into the ninth inning and was only removed when Alberto Ramos hit a 1-out single, only the third base hit on the Coons’ ledger. Max Nelson came on to replace Colmenarez, got Stalker to fly out to left, and Nunley, hitting for Jamieson, to do the same. 3-0 Loggers.

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – RF Allan – 2B Stalker – 1B Harenberg – LF Wallace – 3B Nunley – C Pizzo – CF Magallanes – P Martinez
MIL: 3B Lockert – 2B Sessoms – SS W. Morris – C J. Young – CF Creech – LF Cambra – 1B W. Aquino – RF V. Diaz – P J. West

Ramos led off with a double to right, then scored right away on a Ryan Allan single, the 20th RBI for the rightfielder. Also back in the lineup was Jimmy Wallace after missing most of the last two weeks, and he would plate Allan with a 1-out groundout to put the Raccoons up 2-0. We also got Magallanes and Ramos onto the corners in the second inning, but then Allan grounded out. Meanwhile the Loggers started their first few innings with extra-base hits. Lockert was stranded after a leadoff double in the first, but Gabe Creech hit a ball into deep center and dashed it out for an inside-the-park homer, cutting the lead in half. Starting with an Aaron Sessoms double, the Loggers filled the bags with two outs in the bottom 3rd, too. Wayne Morris was nailed with two strikes, Jim Young singled, and Martinez sent a prayer to Odilon to find any sort of strength. Creech grounded out to short, and the Coons remained 2-1 ahead. Bottom 4th, back to extra bases to the first batter. Firmino Cambra doubled to right, and that run would score on a Vinny Diaz single to left, tying the score at two.

Top 5th, Ryan Allan zinged a triple into the rightfield corner. Now there was some excitement, and this came with one out – surely good enough to get the lead back! Tim Stalker ran a 3-1 count, popped out, and I felt a certain agony. Harenberg, however, came through – he singled sharply past Sessoms to bring in Allan and the Raccoons had a new 3-2 lead! And now Martinez was even holding up; he would pitch another three innings without allowing the Loggers into scoring position. He would have been removed anyway, but his spot also came up with three on and two outs against Jonathan Hose in the top 8th. The right-hander had issued two walks and a single scattered between Harenberg, Wallace, and Pizzo. Magallanes had struck out on three pitches, and now Matt Jamieson came out to pinch-hit, but flew out to Creech in center. We continued with Kevin Surginer blowing the lead in the bottom 8th, allowing a leadoff single to Sessoms, who was run for by Danny Valenzuela, who in turn had not much running to do. Surginer balked him to second base, and from there he scored on two groundouts, tying the tally at three. Nobody scored in the ninth, with Chris Wise getting the Coons to extras, where the old fart Nunley was parked on first base with a 2-out walk and then was waved around all the way on a Pizzo double over the head of centerfielder Creech. Catella hit for Magallanes, but grounded out, and thus the lead was only one run for Ricky Ohl to protect. And why would Ricky need more than one run? He sat down the Loggers in order to even the series. 4-3 Coons. Ramos 2-5, 2B; Allan 2-5, 3B, RBI; Harenberg 3-5, RBI; Pizzo 2-4, BB, 2 2B, RBI; Martinez 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 4 K;

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – RF Allan – 2B Stalker – 1B Harenberg – LF Wallace – 3B Nunley – CF Catella – C Tovias – P Gurney
MIL: CF Creech – 2B Sessoms – SS W. Morris – 1B W. Aquino – RF Valenzuela – C F. Chavez – LF D.J. Mendez – 3B V. Diaz – P Shepherd

The Coons went into the lead in the top 1st on a Ramos Special. Alberto singled, took his 72nd bag, moved to third on Francis Chavez’ throwing error, but only came home with two outs when Harenberg singled to right. Gurney would drive in Catella in the second inning, knocking a 2-out single through between Morris and Diaz, but that didn’t make his pitching any better, or bearable. The Loggers poked him for three hits and a run by the bottom 2nd, D.J. Mendez singling home Danny Valenzuela to keep the Loggers close. The remaining 2-1 lead came apart before long because Gurney just couldn’t get anybody out. He nailed Creech to begin the bottom 3rd, Morris doubled the score even, and Valenzuela hit an infield single, but pulled something and was replaced by Mike Wheeler. Francis Chavez hit a bouncer at Nunley with two outs, Nunley had the ball glance off his wrist, and the Loggers took a 3-2 lead on the misplay… Mendez would pop out to bring the inning to an end.

It took the Critters til the sixth inning to mount something, anything. Harenberg hit a 1-out double to left, which put the tying run in scoring position for a nice change. Jimmy Wallace hit a single to center, but there was no way we could run Harenberg in that situation. Runners were on the corners for Nunley, who had some redemption to do, but flew out to Mendez on a 1-1 pitch, and again Harenberg could not run here. Catella grounded out to Diaz, and now Harenberg could walk slowly back to the dugout… Seamlessly, the Coons went into having the bags full of Loggers, courtesy of singles by Diaz and Angelo Becerra and a walk issued to Creech, all with one out in the bottom 6th. Billy Brotman came on, allowed a 2-run single to PH Taylor Canody, and the Loggers had a 5-2 lead before Morris hit into a double play.

…which the Loggers pitchers took as a challenge. Top 7th, Tovias grounded out against Julio Palomo, but after Magallanes slapped a pinch-hit single, Palomo walked Ramos and Allan to fill the bases with one down for Tim Stalker. Again, Stalker uselessly popped out, and Harenberg flew out to center, stranding another bushel of runners. A variety of Raccoons relievers loaded the bags in the seventh, Chris Wise retired Ricardo Ferrales to strand another set of three, but then came apart for three hits and two runs himself in the eighth inning. The Critters found no inspiration in the final innings and went down to defeat. 7-2 Loggers. Ramos 2-4, BB; Harenberg 2-4, 2B, RBI; Magallanes (PH) 1-1;

In other news

September 17 – BOS CF/LF Adrian Reichardt (.301, 9 HR, 64 RBI) is out for the season with a torn abdominal muscle.
September 22 – DEN OF/1B Elvis DeLoach (.239, 5 HR, 39 RBI) drives in five runs in the Gold Sox’ 14-5 rout of the Scorpions.

Complaints and stuff

The Titans, huh? You can’t ever beat those Titans to death, can you?

The Coons were eliminated on Gurney’s second ****ty start of the week, sliding to eight games out compared to the Indians on Sunday. Not that we had been in contention … ever.

Alberto Ramos was Player of the Week, tearing the opposition at a 14-for-29 (.483) rate, driving in eight runs on 11 singles and three doubles. He swiped four bags and scored five times and also got his OPS back over .800 for the first time since early August. For good measure, he is on a 13-game hitting streak.

ABL SINGLE SEASON STOLEN BASE LEADERS
1st – Enrique Trevino – 2027 – 74
2nd – Alberto Ramos – 2030 – 72
3rd – Guillermo Obando – 2027 – 67
4th – Nando Maiello – 2020 – 66
5th – Alex Torres – 2022 – 62

Sabre has to be put on the 40-man roster anyway this winter. (Same for Bernie Chavez, the fourth-best SP prospect in the system) So letting him make a start at the tail end here is probably not the end of the world? He would consume an option in AAA one way or another next season, because I don’t see him in the Opening Day rotation. ……. Yet.

In passing I noticed that Rin Nomura tossed a shutout on six hits against the Miners this week. Since he had been dealt to the Gold Sox, life and baseball in particular had not been kind to him. He had sucked hard enough (1-9, 6.22 ERA) to be put in the pen last September, and only recently had gotten back into the rotation. In 50 games (5 starts) this year, he was 7-3 with a 4.54 ERA.

Fun Fact: Alberto Ramos has been caught 87 times in 354 steal attempts, giving him a career 75.4% success rate.

This year he is even a bit better, roughly 77.4% having gone 72/93.

Man, that will be an expensive contract…!