[Westheim]

Raccoons (61-69) @ Knights (65-64) – August 26-28, 2030

Here were two dead teams playing soulless games, lifelessly, in August. The Knights were scoring well, third overall in the CL, but were scored upon even more, as they had give away the most runs in the CL, almost a full five runs per game. Their rotation was bad; their pen was even worse. The Coons were 4-2 against them this year.

Projected matchups:
Rico Gutierrez (6-9, 5.06 ERA) vs. Justin Osterloh (7-11, 5.54 ERA)
Tom Shumway (6-13, 4.11 ERA) vs. Andy Purdy (8-7, 4.28 ERA)
Mark Roberts (11-8, 4.17 ERA) vs. Armando Zaragoza (3-1, 5.49 ERA)

All right-handers coming up, including the seriously underdone rookie Zaragoza, pressed into service because of four pitchers having ended up on the 60-day DL for the Knights, including decently useful starters Andy Jimenes and Enrique Guzman.

Boys, first guy to win a game here notches #4,500 for the franchise!

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Harenberg – RF Wallace – LF Jamieson – CF Catella – C Pizzo – P Gutierrez
ATL: CF Denzler – 1B Keen – C S. Garcia – RF Pincus – 2B J. Johnson – LF Houghtaling – 3B A. Walker – SS Greene – P Osterloh

Matt Nunley kept grinding away at the career top 100 in RBI’s, plating Tim Stalker with a groundout in the first inning after Stalker had found the gap for a 1-out triple. Much more futile was Rico Gutierrez’ bid to get the old ERA back under five with this game violently derailing away from him after just two outs were made. Steve Garcia opened the gates with a harmless single to center. It was the first of SIX straight 2-out hits for the Knights, most of them knocked rather sharply. With the bases loaded on three singles, Jeremy Houghtaling drove a ball to deep left that Jamieson snared racing back on the warning track, but fumbled and dropped when he smashed into the padding of the fence. Given that he only made the catch with his nose a quarter of an inch away from said fence, Houghtaling got a 2-run double rather than Jamieson being assigned an error, Andy Walker proceeded to hit a 2-run single, and the inning only ended with a 4-1 score and Osterloh popping out. Bottom 2nd, Joel Denzler opened with a single, Matt Nunley sneezed on a Josh Keen grounder for an error, and the bullpen got stirring until Steve Garcia lined a 3-2 pitch into the lunging Gutierrez’ mitten. The runners had been going in the full count, and both were caught far off the bases. Gutierrez, to Ramos, to Harenberg – it was a 1-6-3 triple play!

There was no reason to celebrate, though. Gutierrez didn’t log another out in the game, allowing a sharp single to Roy Pincus to begin the bottom 3rd, and then John Johnson unceremoniously took him deep to left. Down 6-2 after a Nunley sac fly in the top 3rd, Gutierrez was yanked. Nick Derks went in for long relief, allowed a 2-out single to Drew Greene in the inning, then a single to the pitcher into rightfield. Greene went for third, Wallace made an ambitious attempt to kill him, but fired a throw far over Nunley’s head for an error that allowed the run to score. Denzler struck out, keeping it 7-2. Despite Rico Gutierrez’ bid to retroactively have his 2028 ERA crown (!!) revoked, the Coons somehow made it a close game towards the end. Nick Derks somehow pitched excellent garbage relief, and Jimmy Wallace hit an RBI double to score Nunley in the sixth, but that only amounted to get within slam range. Pizzo was stranded on second in the seventh inning, and the eighth began with two outs before Wallace, Jamieson, and Catella all hit 2-out singles off various relievers in the eighth. Catella brought in a run, and Pizzo came to bat as the tying run in a 7-4 game, facing new reliever Andy Wright, a southpaw. Unfortunately, the Coons had already sent Elias Tovias to pinch-hit earlier and could not pinch-hit for Pizzo now, but the maligned primary catcher still managed to push a single through the right side, loading the bases. New reliever, the fourth pitcher of the inning, righty Bryan Barfield, while the Critters sent Rafael Gomez to pinch-hit for Juan Barzaga, who had pitched a horrendous scoreless inning in the bottom 7th. Gomez popped out, and thankfully that contract would be over soon… Top 9th, Levi Snoeij tried to close this one out – he had more walks than strikeouts on the season, one of many indicators as to how ****ty the Knights’ pen was indeed. Ramos and Stalker made outs before Snoeij walked both Nunley and Harenberg. That brought up the .579 hitting (11-19) rookie, Jimmy Wallace, who clubbed an 0-1 pitch up the middle for an RBI single, 7-5. Next was another proven veteran, Matt Jamieson. He popped out, just like Gomez, but that contract was not going to be over so soon… 7-5 Knights. Wallace 3-4, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Jamieson 2-5; Catella 2-4, RBI; Pizzo 2-4; Derks 4.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 3 K;

5.41 – that’s Rico’s new ERA. That is twice as much as his ERA in all of 2028: 2.56;

Rico. Rico! – Rico. I must tell you… You… SUCK!!

Nobody would win a game on Tuesday, though, on accounts of rain. We got a double header scheduled for Wednesday. By then the Druid also finally had found out that Rich Hereford had knocked up his numb skull worse than expected – he was out for the season with a concussion. GOOD NEWS, MENA. MORE O’ THAT!!

Hereford was shoveled off to the DL, and the Coons called up an extra arm for the double header (giving us NINE relievers, although we’d probably leave Derks alone) in Matt Stonecipher, not that the right-hander that had been on the Opening Day roster had done anything in St. Pete – and Ham Lake! – to rekindle our affection for him. He was 25 and walking EVERYBODY.

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – CF Magallanes – 3B Nunley – 1B Harenberg – RF Wallace – LF Jamieson – 2B Baldwin – C Tovias – P Shumway
ATL: CF Denzler – 1B Keen – C S. Garcia – RF Pincus – 2B J. Johnson – LF Houghtaling – 3B A. Walker – SS Greene – P Purdy

After Andy Purdy walked the bags full at the start of the game, the Critters scored two runs in the first on a Harenberg RBI single and Wallace’s fielder’s choice before Jamieson popped out (…) and Baldwin flew out to Roy Pincus. Elias Tovias would up to 3-0 with a leadoff jack in the second inning, but all of this was happening while Tom Shumway gave his defense a steady diet of line drives to chase after. Every single ball hit off him also had to go to the DL with a concussion… It was SO bad, that when Drew Greene hit a leadoff single in the bottom 3rd, the Knights had Purdy swing away to gain an advantage. Purdy flew out to center and the Knights didn’t score, but they also wouldn’t have with a bunt; so far they were hitting things into the range of the Raccoons’ outfielders…

Ramos hit a sac fly in the fourth, bringing in Baldwin after a leadoff single and having moved to third on Tovias’ double to center, edging the tally to 4-0, but the Knights loaded the bags in the bottom 4th on a Pincus single, a Ramos error that added Johnson with one out, and finally a 2-out walk to Andy Walker – aptly named. Greene grounded out to Baldwin to strand all the runners, so despite being up by four, we were by no means safe – not with any of our pitchers on the mound at least… Jamieson tacked on a run with a groundout, bringing home Nunley, in the fifth, while Shumway remained utterly hittable. He threw eight pitches in the bottom 6th while facing five batters, two of which – Pincus and Johnson – hit back-to-back singles. Somehow, the Knights remained out of the runs column though.

Bottom 8th, Shumway entered on 91 pitches and just like that finally collapsed. Leadoff walk to Josh Keen, singles to Steve Garcia and Pincus, and the bases were loaded with nobody out. The Coons scrambled to unexpectedly get the bullpen involved, with Kevin Surginer tasked with stemming the tide. He very much didn’t. All the inherited runners scored on a first-pitch Johnson single, a Houghtaling sac fly, and a Walker single before the inning somehow ended without total implosion. Ramos singled and stole a base in the top of the ninth, but was left stranded, which soon began to rear its seven ugly heads in the bottom 9th, when Ricky Ohl faltered for a 1-out single by Keen, then a howling double by Garcia. Wallace threw a shot to home plate that was well late and only served to allow the tying run, Garcia, into third base with Pincus coming up again. Jimmy Wallace – much a work in progress, f.e. he obviously has no situational awareness AT ALL. Ohl struck out Pincus on three pitches, then proceeded to walk Johnson in a full count. That brought up Jeremy Houghtaling, the disgusting once-upon-a-time Elk. The count got to 1-1 before Houghtaling hit a ball to deep right, Wallace going back, looking up, and catching one final glimpse of the ball before it wrapped around the fair side of the foul pole. 7-5 Knights. Harenberg 2-3, BB, RBI; Tovias 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI;

(does not move, nor speak, nor blink)

Game 3
POR: SS Stalker – 2B Baldwin – 3B Nunley – 1B Harenberg – RF Wallace – CF Catella – C Pizzo – LF Magallanes – P Roberts
ATL: CF Denzler – 1B Keen – RF Pincus – 2B Johnson – LF Houghtaling – 3B A. Walker – C Martins – SS Greene – P Zaragoza

Roberts struggled to remove batters in 2-strike counts, one of the many signs of old age erasing any sort of skill in pitchers, but at least they didn’t hit rockets all over the place as they had in the matinee. The Coons also didn’t score early, despite a neat chance through Stalker’s leadoff double at the top of the contest. He was left at third, and both teams scattered them left and right through four scoreless innings. Make that five. No, six.

The staggering bleakness of the Coons being held to five hits and no runs through eight by the “seriously underdone rookie” Zaragoza was not easily comprehended, nor coped with. Roberts at least matched the pace, somehow, through seven and a third, but left the game when Steve Garcia singled on his 102nd pitch. Fleischer took over and exited the inning on two groundouts. Levi Snoeij kept the Coons down in the ninth, while Johnson singled off Chris Wise to begin the bottom 9th, and Chris Mendoza went on to draw a 1-out walk hitting in Walker’s place. Eric Martins however hit into a double play, and the game went to extras in scoreless fashion. Top 10th, Ramos batted for Pizzo, singled, then was caught stealing on a pitchout. Magallanes had been supposed to execute a hit-and-run, but could not possibly hit a pitch at ear height. Top 11th, Ernesto Lozano tried to keep the game under control, but the former starter allowed a leadoff single to Stalker, then a double to Chris Baldwin. Nunley cashed Stalker with a single to right, the first marker on the scoreboard after ten innings of futility. Baldwin scored on a wild pitch, but while Lozano walked the bags full against Wallace and Jamieson (hitting for Stonecipher in the #7 hole), Rafael Gomez flew out to left to leave the bags full when he batted for Magallanes with two down. Closing duties fell to Garavito despite an array of righties coming up in the bottom 11th, since all the good right-handed relievers had already been burned. It was Barzaga or an actual chance at nailing it down. Maybe we should rather play the lottery, though… Pincus walked, Johnson hit an infield single, and the tying runs were aboard. There was Houghtaling again. If I could move anything at all, I’d now close my eyes, but I had to keep staring at the scene unfolding as Houghtaling hit the cover off a baseball at 1-1 again. This time, though, he hit it on the ground, right at Baldwin, and the Coons turned two to salvage a game and the season series. 2-0 Blighters. Stalker 2-5, 2B; Baldwin 3-5, 2 2B; Ramos (PH) 1-1; Roberts 7.1 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K and 1-3;

Stonecipher got the W, then was shipped right back out of town. Barzaga was also demoted in favor of SS/3B Butch Gerster, batting .222 in St. Petersburg.

Raccoons (62-71) @ Crusaders (60-74) – August 29-September 1, 2030

Sadness in the second division continued with a 4-game set in New York. The Crusaders led the season series, 7-4, despite an absolutely frigid offense that ranked at the very bottom of the league in most categories and foremost runs scored. They did have nice pitching, but conceding the fourth-fewest runs was not nearly enough when you were barely putting out 3.7 runs a game.

Projected matchups:
Jason Gurney (0-0) vs. Eddie Cannon (12-9, 4.00 ERA)
Dave Martinez (12-9, 3.93 ERA) vs. Mike Rutkowski (10-13, 3.76 ERA)
Rico Gutierrez (6-10, 5.41 ERA) vs. Keith Roofener (6-4, 3.59 ERA)
Tom Shumway (6-13, 4.10 ERA) vs. Ian Prevost (8-6, 3.31 ERA)

All right-handers again.

To replace Stonecipher on the roster and make the spot start (although anybody delivering a decent start had the chance at the permanent assignment, just sayin’), the Coons called up the 2026 Nick Brown Memorial Pick, Jason Gurney. The 25-year-old southpaw (duh!) had a 5.11 ERA in St. Pete, but options were slim and we still weren’t going to bring up Raffaello Sabre to feed him to the wolves this fall, when there was no point to the exercise.

Game 1
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Harenberg – RF Wallace – LF Jamieson – CF Catella – C Pizzo – P Gurney
NYC: 1B Olszewski – LF Serrano – SS Obando – CF Coca – RF Reardon – C Dear – 2B T. Fuentes – 3B Czachor – P E. Cannon

Gurney’s major league career began with a strikeout against Drew Olszewski, a scoreless first, being spotted a lead on a Harenberg jack in the top 2nd – Kevin’s 20th on the season – and then a thorough initiation into what being a Raccoon meant after all. Nunley fudged Tony Coca’s grounder to begin the bottom 2nd, Chris Reardon hit an RBI triple, and it was off to the races right away. Gurney walked Matt Dear, Tony Fuentes hit an RBI single to put New York in front, and after Ryan Czachor popped out, Nunley threw away Eddie Cannon’s bunt for his second error of the inning, and another run scored. Olszewski flew out, Danny Serrano got nailed, and somehow Catella didn’t fart on Guillermo Obando’s pop, and the Crusaders stranded three in a 3-1 game. Long inning, sad inning, soul-murdering inning. The third was not much better, as the Crusaders loaded them up again, but then brought up the pitcher, who flew out to Jamieson to strand three more. In the fourth, three straight 2-out singles scored a run for the New Yorkers, making it 4-1 at that point…

Catella and Pizzo went to the corners when they led off the fifth with a pair of singles. It was still a wee bit early to bat for the pitcher, so Gurney was allowed to bunt, presenting Ramos with a pair in scoring position, but the Coons did not get more than a sac fly out of that situation, and Stalker popped out over the infield. Gurney ended up lasting six and maintaining a 4-2 score, which, y’know, would really be more like 2-2 at most if Nunley hadn’t laid a pair o’ eggs in the second inning… The Coons remained close, but could not get over the hump against the Crusaders’ pitchers, remaining glued to two runs despite churning out 12 hits through eight. The bottom 8th saw the Coons’ pen implode once more then; Billy Brotman began the inning by getting out Olszewski, then allowed a double to the switch-hitting Serrano. Fleischer took over, only to get flogged once more. Obando hit an RBI triple, Coca walked, and Reardon hit an RBI double before someone finally made the last two outs… In the ninth, Portland got a 13th hit with a Catella single… and then Pizzo hit into a game-ending double play. 7-2 Crusaders. Harenberg 2-4, HR, RBI; Wallace 2-4; Jamieson 2-4; Catella 3-4;

We found our way into four double plays in all…

Game 2
POR: SS Ramos – RF Wallace – 2B Stalker – 1B Harenberg – LF Gomez – C Pizzo – CF Catella – 3B Gerster – P Martinez
NYC: SS Obando – LF Serrano – RF Reardon – CF Coca – C Dear – 1B Olszewski – 3B Czachor – 2B T. Fuentes – P Rutkowski

Ramos walked, stole second, and … then foundered as the 2-3-4 batters made poor outs. Ramos reached 59 sacks taken with another stolen base in the third, and then again was stranded; this time only Wallace flew out to left to do the deed, as Ramos had already reached with two outs. Through three, he was the Critters’ only base runner. The Crusaders had nobody reach base in the first two innings, but Czachor snipped a leadoff single in the bottom 3rd. Fuentes grounded out, but Rutkowski hit a very regrettable RBI double to left-center. Obando singled in his pitcher, and the Coons trailed once more, 2-0. I resigned myself to alcohol with Ramos’ next spot still three innings away, but the Coons actually did get somebody on base, briefly, in the fifth inning when Butch Gerster hit a rather unexpected solo homer to left-center to cut the gap in half. It was the 29-year-old’s seventh career homer in 380 at-bats. The Coons’ next runner was only Harenberg in the seventh after having been nailed, and he was doubled up swiftly by Rafael Gomez. In between, the Crusaders had turned another three runners into two runs in the bottom 6th: Obando walked, stole second, and Coca and Dear hit 2-out base hits past either side of a stretching Ramos, although in between Martinez also threw a wild pitch to move Coca into scoring position in the first place. That made for six runners and four runs off Martinez… He lasted seven in a hopeless cause, and Kevin Surginer was battered for a walk, two hits, and two runs that scored on Garavito’s watch in the eighth. Rutkowski went the distance for New York, whiffing eight. He lapsed briefly in the ninth inning, serving up Jimmy Wallace’s first career dinger, but that was not enough to get Rutwkoski out of the game. 6-2 Crusaders.

Game 3
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Harenberg – RF Wallace – LF Jamieson – CF Magallanes – C Tovias – P Gutierrez
NYC: 1B Olszewski – LF Serrano – SS Obando – CF Coca – RF Reardon – C Dear – 2B T. Fuentes – 3B Czachor – P Roofener

Straight singles by the 2-3-4 batters in the top 1st gave Rico Gutierrez a 1-0 lead right away… and then he walked Olszewksi right away. His next pitch was wild, moving the runner to second and taking off the double play on Serrano’s grounder to Ramos. Instead Olszewski moved to third, then scored on ANOTHER wild pitch. Obando doubled to center, and I was already regretting again that you could hardly take any weapon on a flight anymore… but had I spotted a new shop for torture devices two blocks from the ballpark? I could have sworn there was a morningstar in a shop window over there… Coca popped out, but Reardon singled in the run, and damn Rico Gutierrez couldn’t get anybody out anymore…

Top 2nd, Serrano dropped a Jamieson fly for a 2-base error. That run came around when Gutierrez grounded out with one out and Jamieson and Tovias on the corners, which allowed Jamieson across to tie the ballgame. A Ramos single and a walk to Stalker filled the bases for Matt Nunley with two gone, but Roofener prevailed with a swinging strikeout. To anybody’s surprise, Rico retired the bottom of the order in order in the second, but the bottom of the order wouldn’t be up every inning… Olszewski pounded the first pitch of the bottom 3rd for a homer, and another run scored on an Obando double and Reardon RBI single. Reardon was sent on a 2-out double to left-center hit by Matt Dear, but was thrown out at home plate to keep it civil and 4-2. Top 4th, Ramos stole his 60th base and was left stranded once more, and Gutierrez got through the bottom of the order, somehow, in the bottom 4th. He walked Fuentes, Czachor popped out, and then Fuentes got picked off first by Rico. Roofener struck out, but more horrors awaited in the fifth, in which the defense bailed out the inept pitcher to get him through five.

Neither pitcher logged an out in the sixth. Magallanes’ leadoff walk removed Roofener in favor of the pen and lefty Jorge Farinas, and when his spot came up following a Tovias strikeout, Gutierrez was hit for with Gomez, who also struck out. Ramos legged out an infield single, Farinas clipped Stalker, and Nunley was up with three on and two gone again. Fuentes intercepted his grounder to end the inning. The Raccoons dilly-dallied around a while longer, but couldn’t mount a charge. The Crusaders tacked on a run in the eighth on back-to-back doubles by Reardon and Dear off Nick Derks, then sent Travis Giordano to save a 5-2 game against the 2-3-4 batters in the ninth. Stalker reached on a 2-base throwing error that went under Olszewski’s glove at first. Nunley struck out, but Harenberg doubled past Serrano in left to get Stalker across. That brought up the tying run in Wallace, still batting .410 although his first week had been much better than his second. He grounded out to second, moving up the runner, but it didn’t help in the grander scheme of things, and Matt Jamieson struck out anyway… 5-3 Crusaders. Ramos 2-4, BB; Harenberg 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI;

This particular loss dropped the Raccoons into a virtual tie… with the Loggers… for last place. What a way to finish August.

With that, rosters expanded for September ball. Going through the motions, the Raccoons added a third catcher in Shane Ivey (the only one on the 40-man roster), an outfielder in Wilson Rodriguez, a token infielder in Edwin Alvarez, and a near-random ramshackle assortment of pitchers from the bargain bin grab bag: Nick Bates, Billy Ramm, and Bryan Rabbitt.

Tom Shumway started the Sunday game on short rest and would be limited to 70 to 80 pitches. Prevost was scratched and replaced by Shane Baker (4-1, 4.47 ERA, 1 SV) for a spot start for reasons unknown.

Game 4
POR: SS Ramos – 2B Stalker – 3B Nunley – 1B Harenberg – RF Wallace – LF Jamieson – CF Catella – C Pizzo – P Shumway
NYC: 1B Olszewski – LF Serrano – SS Obando – RF Reardon – 2B Hurtado – CF Laughery – C Mayeux – 3B Czachor – P S. Baker

Baker retired the Critters in order the first time through, while Shumway walked two, got a double play, and nailed Baker with one out in the third inning. Olszewski and Serrano chipped singles to load the bases, Obando grounded to Stalker, who only had the play at first base, and that plated the pitcher for the game’s first run. Reardon flew out to left to strand a pair in scoring position. Ramos led off the fourth with a single, was caught stealing by Brennen Mayeux, and it was the more bitter when Tim Stalker ripped a double to left. Nobody scored, with Stalker stranded on Nunley’s fly to Serrano and Harenberg taking strike three. Shumway, missing all over the place on three days’ rest, used 70 pitches in just four innings, and when his spot came up in the top 5th, the Coons batted for him with Jamieson on second base and Pizzo on first after the intentional walk. Rafael Gomez came out with two on and two gone once more, and for once managed something ****ing productive, getting a single past Mario Hurtado to tie the game at one. Ramos knocked in Pizzo with another single, 2-1 Coons, before Stalker lined out unluckily to a lunging Czachor.

Billy Ramm, in the rotation two Opening Days ago while we waited for Rin Nomura to come off the DL, and who had since been disgraced and banished, made his season debut in the bottom 5th. He retired Olszewski before Serrano singled, after which the Coons went to a righty, picking Bryan Rabbitt and his 9.00 ERA, and Rabbitt got them out of the inning. Top 6th, Harenberg got on base and was singled home with two outs by Matt Jamieson. Baker allowed a double to Catella, putting a pair in scoring position for Pizzo, but the beleaguered catcher struck out to strand the runners in a 3-1 game. The Coons got through seven with Rabbitt and Wise before turning to Surginer, who for the umpteenth time this week was not up to snuff, walked Obando, and allowed a 1-out double to Hurtado, which placed the tying runs in scoring position. The Crusaders sent left-hander Jamie Richardson to pinch-hit here, making the Coons move on to Billy Brotman. Pizzo, the dumb ass, allowed the first run across by losing Brotman’s first pitch and kicking it ever deeper into foul ground, and then Richardson tied the score with a very deep sac fly to right. An eventless ninth got us into extra innings, which was the right thing to crawl through at the tail end of a 1-5 week. Giordano leaked nothing but a 2-out double to Harenberg in the 10th, and then Wallace grounded out to run up an 0-for-5. Nick Derks got into the bottom 10th, the eighth pitcher the Coons threw against the wall here to find something to stick. He was also the last one. Obando hit a single, stole second, and was driven in by Hurtado with another single. 4-3 Crusaders. Ramos 2-5, RBI; Stalker 2-5, 2B; Jamieson 2-3, BB, RBI; Gomez (PH) 1-1, RBI; Rabbitt 1.2 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

In other news

August 27 – DEN SP Tommy Weintraub (8-11, 4.67 ERA) could miss the rest of the season with a broken rib.
August 28 – The Canadiens clobber the Bayhawks, 17-4, with teammates Alex Torres (.244, 6 HR, 48 RBI) and Nelson Millan (.256, 6 HR, 35 RBI) both driving in five runs with, among other hits, a homer. Millan also has two doubles for eight total bases.
August 28 – The Blue Sox walk off, 3-2, on the Stars, with NAS OF Federico Nuno (.247, 11 HR, 53 RBI) getting hit by DAL MR Jay Schimek (0-1, 4.82 ERA) with the game tied and the bases loaded to end the game.
August 30 – Word is that TOP RF/LF Pablo Sanchez (.355, 4 HR, 60 RBI) will miss three to four weeks with a sprained ankle.
August 30 – SAL SP Phil Harrington (10-3, 2.07 ERA) is probably out for the season with a rotator cuff strain, but might have locked down the Federal League ERA title owing to having 165 innings pitched to his credit.
September 1 – DAL C/1B Jack Stickley (.210, 13 HR, 48 RBI) hits a home run off SAC SP Michael Foreman (3-6, 3.69 ERA) for the only tally in the Stars’ 1-0 win.

Complaints and stuff

Regular season victory #4,500 was thus brought home by Mark Roberts. It would have been Shumway, but let’s not get into that. Shumway’s game makes me sad. Also making me sad: that was the only win this week. The Crusaders’ sweeping us over an extended weekend put them at 11-4 against the Litter Pickers this year, forcefully ending a 4-year run we had with taking the season series. Also, the Loggers swept a double header from the Titans on Sunday, thus dropping the Coons into last place by 1 1/2 games. Again, we have not finished last in 25 years, but I really don’t see how we’d avoid it now.

I don’t ****ing see how we’d avoid 100 losses, to be fair. Oh well, there was a zero chance we’d lose on Monday. Monday we’ll have off. After that? Indians and Titans.

Cristiano Carmona puzzled me with a question this week, making me name our (regular) pitcher with the worst FIP. I guessed through all the obvious suckers and the rotation twice before he revealed it to be Kevin Surginer. His contract was up at the end of the year, too, and Cristiano recommended letting him just go away. Kevin Surginer, really? How’s that…?

Truth be told, I don’t like FIP. It measures things in a vacuum. And the thing with vacuums is that the real world is very much not a vacuum. – Almost five?? How’s that even possible??

Alberto Ramos has reached the top 10 in terms of stolen bases in a single season. Here are those top 10:

1st – Enrique Trevino – 2027 – 74
2nd – Guillermo Obando – 2027 – 67
3rd – Nando Maiello – 2020 – 66
4th – Alex Torres – 2022 – 62
t-5th – Danny Flores – 2015 – 61
t-5th – Guillermo Obando – 2025 – 61
7th – Javier Rodriguez – 2006 – 60
t-7th – Alberto Ramos – 2030 – 60
9th – Danny Flores – 2016 – 59
10th – Moromao Hino – 1998 - 58

With roster expansion and some trivial pitching being pulled up from St. Pete, we also moved one of the pitching prospects showcased a while ago to AAA. Ignacio del Rio moved to AAA with a 2.64 ERA in Ham Lake.

With Harenberg entering his final month in town, the Raccoons realize that their candidate to replace him from within, 2025 second-rounder Craig Hollenbeck, was not up to the job. He was batting for a .350ish slugging percentage in AAA. It was a sad sight to see.

Terrible times ahead.

Fun Fact: The last time the Raccoons finished last in the North, in 2005, they finished 70-92, 21 games out of first.

Not only was that the last time we finished last, but also the most recent time we won 70 games or less, and only twice since have the Coons come up more than 21 games away of first place in the intervening quarter century. We were 22 games out in 2015, a 78-84 campaign that was the only losing season between 2007 and 2021. The year after that, ’22, was the nadir of the quarter century; the Critters came up 71-91, 35 games out.

The last time we won less than 70? That would be 2000, a 63-99 choke job.

We are also well on pace for a 4+ team ERA this year, which has not happened since 2003, and the current 4.17 ERA would be the worst since 2000 and 2001 (4.63 each), and the third-worst ever.