Miami United (1-2, .333, 4th NL East) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (1-2, .333, 4th NL East)
With Fresnel Holoprism, Inc., the preeminent manufacturer of 3-D Holographic Entertainment Systems, as its largest employer, Pittsburgh has come a long way from being the town that was built on the backs of the proletariat and forged in steel. Now home to high-end holography, delectable pierogis, and a baseball team with 9 straight playoff appearances and no hardware to show for it, Pittsburgh continues to plug away at it despite having an offseason that will likely not produce the results their fans are used to – begging the question would you rather always be the bridesmaid, never the bride, or not bother attending the wedding at all? So, what do these guys have going for them after losing two of their premier arms to free agency? The answer, besides not much, can be summed up in two words: Tom. Franzone. And, really, that’s about it. The Steelers are going back to their roots in 2079, they’re going to load up the expectation of an entire fanbase and rest that package squarely on the back of the 2078 Boyce Rigg winning home-run machine and hope for the best. If only we here in Miami could be so lucky…
4 of 162: Mirko Samsonenko (0-0, 0.00) @ Claude Gould (0-0, 0.00)
Win, 8-3. Tom Franzone sat down at our table, loaded up his plate with meat and cheese, took half our loaf of bread, and all of the mashed potatoes and feasted on our pitching – 2 for 3, a homer, 2 RBIs, and 2 runs… unfortunately for him and his ballclub, there just wasn’t enough room at the table for anyone else. Mirko gave a good account of himself over 7 innings of work, 9 K’s & 3 earned, and Rex came alive in a 2 for 3, 2 run performance to lead us to a game one victory against Steel City. OH HONG went 2 for 5 with an RBI, Watanabe & DeTour each drove in a run, and Lucas Brandt put together a nice 2-inning save to close this one out. We’re a .500 ballclub and I couldn’t be happier.
Elsewhere: LF Jo Jo Jackson, of the Dallas Cowboys, hit his first home run of the season in a 5-4 win over Phoenix. Jackson, in his second season as a major leaguer, is now hitting .286 with a HR, an RBI, a Walk, and 7 strikeouts. And, you’re right, I get it – it’s early… but, I’d still like to point out that he doesn’t even lead the league in K’s yet. Nope. That honor belongs to 1B Yoshimasa Sugawara, AKA Bootleg Hong, of the Los Angeles Lakers, who has been rung up a league-leading 9 times so far in 2079.
5 of 162: Cathal Magill (0-1, 13.50) @ Wing Sung (0-0, 0.00)
Loss, 4-3. Cathal was better this time around – 8 innings, 7 hits, 4 earned, and 5 K’s – but he still wasn’t good enough. We’ll need him to get this thing dialed in pretty quickly if we are to reach our potential as an honest-to-goodness, average ballclub. Watanabe gets another RBI and a hits 2 doubles, Rex and OH HONG went back to being non-factors, we stole two bags, and got caught with our hand in the honey pot twice… For each step forward, we take one step back… Cha-cha-cha!
Elsewhere: Yan is nothing if not thorough, efficient, and heartless… we’ve announced another trade –
Carter DeTour & Minor-Leaguer Pascal Overton for
Early Felger (AAA) &
Winn Meints (AA). Felger looks to have more long-term upside than DeTour but has a lot of runway to cover before any of that talent takes flight. So, we stocked our developmental talent a bit and got rid of a clubhouse cancer. I can dig it. One problem though… our Major League roster is so barren, that it’s a near certainty that Early Felger will arrive at the table blue-rare rather than the mid-rare I usually order. He’s from New York, he can handle it.
6 of 162: Kito Western (0-0, 0.00) @ Robby Garrett (1-0, 1.13)
Win, 8-6. Franzone was at it again in this one – 4 for 5, 2 HRs, 4 riblets, and 2 runs – but none of his so-called teammates were willing to follow his lead… and, um, yeah… about that Early guy, he went 4 for 7 with a HR and 4 RBIs in his Major League debut which is, well, surprising. Not only that – it was his solo HR in the top of the 13th inning that put us up for good here – so, welcome to the club young man, we think you’ll like it here. 2 RBIs for Watanabe, OH HONG goes 1 for 6 (ugh), Rex went 1 for 5 (ugh), we got TWO SAC BUNTS (small-ball-a-go-go!), stole two bags, and completed 3 double plays… don’t look now you guys, but we got ourselves a .500 ballclub in Miami…
Elsewhere: LF Palmer Parker, of the Philadelphia 76ers, laid down a 5-hit game in a 19-8 win over the reigning-champion Brooklyn Citizens… he also had 4 RBIs and 3 runs during the game. And, your lovable club of misfit toys, affectionately known as the Miami ‘Mingos by the locals, are heading home for our first ever home series against the Montreal Wanderers. There are still a few tickets available, so act fast… or don’t. We expect to have some available at the box office on game day – take your time, relax… we’re far from the hottest ticket in town. Yet.