A Dumpy Old Rink in Culver City, California
July 1, 1983
(Rogie VACHON and J.T. enter and take front row seats behind one of the team benches. Since the ice surface isn't yet operational at the Forum, the players are working out here. A pickup game is in progress, so the familiar sounds of skate blades and pucks being passed and shot fill the small building. THREE MEN approach.)
CHARLIE SIMMER: "I'm Charlie. Nice to meet you. I'm a 29-year-old left wing who usually plays alongside Marcel and Stitch. We're called the Triple Crown Line, in honor of our scoring prowess as a group."
JIM FOX: "Hi, I'm Jim. I'm the second-line right wing on the team. I'm 23 years old. In my three years in the league, I've scored 76 goals, good for 22nd among all NHL right wings during that span."
MARK HARDY: "I'm Mark. I'm a 24-year-old defenceman. After Larry Murphy, I'm the best blueliner on the club. I'm kind of a jack of all trades ... I can play on the left side or the right, and can be used on both special teams."
(J.T. turns to VACHON.)
"So we seem to have a terrific nucleus and solid enough depth up front, but we're finishing in last place? Something isn't adding up, here."
VACHON: "That leaves only ..."
"Only what???"
(VACHON simply sighs deeply in response. J.T. turns to the three players.)
"Talk to me, guys. What's the problem? Where are we going wrong?"
(The three players, almost simultaneously, lower their heads and glance back toward the rink.
On the ice, there are four goaltenders; two of them at center ice, and the other two occupying the two nets. One of the goaltenders at center ice falls down while stretching, and his mask tumbles off. The other goalie at center ice has his mask off and appears to be crying, holding his stick close to his body with both hands.
One of the goalies occupying a net gets scored on, fishes the puck out with his blocker hand and tries to throw the puck at the player who scored. He misses, and the puck loudly ricochets off the boards. The other net-occupying goaltender is banging his stick on the goal's crossbar while periodically cursing in french.)
"Oh no."
"Oh my God, no. No."
(The three players continue to look down at their respective feet. VACHON scowls and mutters some choice words, also in french.)
"How bad is it?"
VACHON: "We ... we have the worst goaltending in the NHL."
"Terrific."
VACHON: "Lessard was one of the best goalies in the game in 1980-81, and within a year he turned into one of the worst; if not THE worst. Mattsson's been a journeyman backup since he left the World Hockey Association in 1980. Blake's a glorified minor leaguer. The only guy who has even a sliver of value on the market is Laskoski, and all of our scouts feel he has no future whatsoever, but at the moment he's our number one guy."
(Now, it's time for J.T. to lower his head and look at his feet.)
"No wonder you offered me the job before you came here."
(VACHON smiles weakly, and then stands. The players stand with him. They turn to head toward the exit.)
VACHON: "Meet you outside."