You know, a week or three ago, I was going to make a comment about how we've been lucky to avoid the injury bug, and how that'd probably bite us big next year. Well, it's still going to, but it's reared its head now, too.
Jon Rauch has deflated a bit, tweaking something in his elbow, and so he joins
Schizophrenic Jorge and
Ramon Vazquez in the infirmary, though both of them will be back within a few days. Still, we're down to three healthy starting pitchers (
and Rick Ankiel, but I'm still a little gunshy about putting him in the rotation, not to mention the fact that he's supposedly nursing a day-to-day injury)
This isn't 1900, so that ain't gonna fly for too long. Tempting as it'd be to bring up
Chris Scarborough, who just won his third AA start, I've instead decided to go to 23 year old
Travis Foley, who's had the most success of any of our AAA pitchers. It's relative -- he's 9-9 with a 3.99 ERA, but his WHIP's OK, at 1.17, and...yeah, that's about the extent of good stuff I can say about him. But I tried, at least.
Luckily, we won't have to worry about saying more good things about him until a few days from now, because
Esteban Loaiza ready to go today. Well, he's better than
Travis Foley, at least. And apparently he's also better than
The Chico Punk, my third-favorite player (
not really, ha ha),
Kyle Lohse. I can't explain that, but this
is an alternate reality, so maybe there's some strange definition of logic at work here, where "better" means "worse", or...
Once in a while, though, scout Quent Moore earns his keep, and maybe this is just one of those times.
Juan Uribe, giving
The Hacktastic One a day off, starts the ballgame off with a base hit to left, and
D.Y. thumps a flat 3-1 fastball off the wall in right for a two-bagger. Second and third, no one out, it's looking like Mr. Moore might need a raise.
Maggs is all over a 1-1 fastball...but hits a howitzer right back at
Lohse, who somehow gloves it. One down.
Brad Fullmer takes his turn, and drives a shot to right-center...but it hangs up long enough for
Spiderman to trap it in his web.
Uribe tags and scores, but
The Element (
thanks endgame!) hits a grounder to short, and that's the -- no, nope,
Alex Cintron muffs it, and the inning continues...long enough for
Enrique Wilson to strike out, ending the inning beyond all doubt. All that, and only one run, but it's one run more than we had, I guess.
And one run might just be enough with
Esteban Loaiza on the bump.
Not convincing, huh? I didn't think so, either, but
Loaiza's perfect in the first, with the only hiccup, if you could call it that, a long fly ball to right off of
Corey Koskie's bat that gives me five seconds' pause, but by that time, it ends up in
Buddha's glove, and the inning's over.
Joe Crede doubles to start the second, and our best efforts to strand him fail, as a sacrifice by
Loaiza gives
Juan Uribe a shot to bring home a run with a sacrifice fly, and he does just that.
D.Y. hits a comebacker, so again we only get a run, but 1+1 = 2, and 2+1 = 3, and...
The bottom of the frame's notable for an
Alex Cintron ground out which ends the frame and leaves
Jason Bartlett on base, as well as the chuckle-worthy line of:
"
Spiderman can't believe it!"
That comes up when
Torii Hunter gets called out on strikes. Ah, for all of the crap we give the play-by-play...
We alternate hits and outs over the first five batters of the third inning, which of course means that the third hitsman,
Joe Crede, gets an RBI when
Maggs trots home on his base knock to right.
Jason LaRue fouls out to end the inning, but so far, my kindergarden math is working out. 3-0.
Loaiza rocks the vote in the bottom of the frame, striking out
Larry Walker (
just call him 'Swinger'),
The Chico Punk Lohse, and then
Shannon "
MVP"
Stewart. And all over Chicago, milk cartons are being printed with the message:
MISSING:
Portly Mexican native. Approximately six foot four, two hundred pounds. Brown eyes, bearded and mustachioed. Enjoys causing indigestion and long walks on the beach. May suffer from whiplash. Last seen with the aliens that possess Juan Uribe.
Loaiza makes a quick out to begin the fourth, but
The Aliens draw a walk,
D.Y. laces a single, and
Maggs draws a free pass to load the bases.
Brad Fullmer punches a single to left, and
Shannon Stewart's my ragdoll, because he can't cut down
D.Y. at the plate. That chases
Lohse, who I don't dislike anymore, mostly because we've battered him around like a fish twice in a row.
Raul Gonzalez hits a ground ball to score us a sixth run, and
Enrique whiffs again, but just like yesterday, we can coast now.
Ha ha ha. I crack myself up sometimes.
Dr. Jekyll apparently thought it was pretty funny, too, because he allows hits to
Mauer and
Koskie to start the bottom of the fourth, leading to the recall of some 50,000 gallons of milk. But
Mr. Loaiza comes back, and two fly balls later, the runners haven't moved.
Jason Bartlett, the
Chone Figgins of our time, can't catch up to some 92 mile an hour cheddar, and I'm getting a good feeling about this one.
Joe Crede doubles to right, his third hit of the game, to start the fifth in fine fashion, but he doesn't advance beyond there nor collect $200.
Loaiza cruises through the fifth thanks to a momentary homage to the pitching style of
Derek Lowe, and we move on to the sixth frame and the third
Minnesota pitcher,
Juan Rincon, ALDS Hero.
D.Y. greets him with double number thirty-one, though, to steal the trite yet applicable line, "
not in this game -- that would be a record".
Maggs swats a single to left and of course Danny Pasqua is waving
D.Y. home.
Shannon Stewart's fling is there in plenty of time (
D.Y. never was the fleetest of foot), but that's no problem for
The Mad Russian, who
runs over Joe Mauer in his dash home, knocking the ball loose and the
Twins' catcher down for the count.
That'd be an awfully poetic way to end the game, adding injury to insult, but of course, it doesn't. The actual ending is rather irrelevant, as we tack on another run to make it 8-0, and though
Dr. Jekyll shows up in the sixth and allows three runs,
Joe Crede makes sure there's no doubt about this one by hitting a
450 plus foot moon shot in the next frame.
And like
the Supremes , the hits just keep on coming, and with them, we make a few polite nods at the team record books in the last few frames.
Crede has a shot for the cycle in an eighth-inning at-bat, but of course he raps into a double play. Well, that's some kind of cycle, for sure --
this kind? I hope not -- I don't even wish that on
Joe Crede. Ouch.
D.Y. ropes his fifth hit in the ninth, and that plates our thirteenth and final run. It's more than enough to, as the play-by-play would say, "beat Minnesota" -- we didn't just beat them, we beat them into submission. Sit down,
Twinsies! OK, now roll over...
CHW 13 MIN 5
WP: E. Loaiza (6-13) - 6 IP, 8 H, 3 R, 0 BB, 7 K (
It's almost too bad -- I was wondering if we'd have a starter besides Buehrle win more than 5 games. I've got my answer, and who am I kidding with the faux-disappointment? Not only has Loaiza won more than five, he's had five strong outings in a row. Maybe there's something to this Dr. Jekyll thing after all.)
LP: K. Lohse (9-10) - 3.1 IP, 7 H, 6 R (
Chico, huh?)
Game Ball Goes To... While
Dmitri Young had another great performance, this was
Joe Crede's day, strange a sound as that is. Two doubles, one very long home run, and a single, as well as a big reason why
D.Y. kept getting the opportunity to smack singles and doubles. Eighteen hits, though. That's more than just one or two guys. Must be the new maple bats.