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Baseball - Sammy Sosa. Sid Bream.
Football - Jerome Bettis. The way he shakes his head and trash talks after every 3 and 4 yard gain irritates the hell out of me.
Basketball - Shaq. And, again, I don't even follow the NBA.
Hockey - Wayne Gretzky. I also have an nearly-irrational hatred of Kent Manderville, although I believe (nay, hope) he's out of the league now. Kip Miller sucks, too.
Auto Racing - Jeff Gordon.
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Well, they have a saying here in Texas ... but they probably don't have it in California, so never mind.
OTBL - Pennsylvania Fightin' Amish
ABC - Pittsburgh Puma
OCHO - Pittsburgh Pirates
EBU - Commissioner
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