[Westheim]

(sits gloomy at his desk, a bowl of snacks untouched, and stares out into the gray afternoon over the ballpark)

+++

December 17 – Japanese free agent slugger Tatsukichi Yonemura settles on an offer from the Knights for $34.4M over four years.
December 19 – The Raccoons acquire left-handed MR Tyler Walton (4-3, 4.37 ERA, 10 SV) from the Canadiens for A-level SS/3B Luis Flores.
December 20 – Former Caps starting pitcher Adam Lunn (157-139, 3.94 ERA) winds up with the Crusaders for a 3-year, $24M contract.
December 21 – Meanwhile the former Crusaders SP Danny Ortiz (154-128, 3.74 ERA) is crossing the last T’s on a 2-year, $13.8M deal with the Knights.

+++

With Yonemura going elsewhere, the Raccoons were back to an outfield of Schneider in center, Licona in right, and soup of the day in leftfield. The pursuit of the brick-brained Yonemura also meant there had been no dosh for any other endeavors and now we were behind on our offseason shopping once more.

I will be open – I have no idea what the Elks find in Luis Flores. He projects as an unremarkable hitter, he has unremarkable defense, not outstanding speed, and he has the attitude of a foul-mouthed megaphone. They specifically asked for him. It was either him, or fellow low-minors infielder Carlo Gradi (the Italian one), or Crispy Bear.

These things are not equal…!?

We’ll revisit this when Flores wins his fourth batting title in ’82.

After the Yonemura disaster the Raccoons turned their attention to free agent Dan Moore, but he was already asking for $42M over six years, and I was getting dizzy from these numbers, because when I had been a spring chicken, you could have bought half a U.S. state with all the cows in that half for $42M…!

Then there were the Loggers and their grotesque Picasso of a roster. Carlos Dominguez had four batting titles and was hitting 20+ homers every year, and despite having tortured the Raccoons for almost a decade, he’d only turn 30 in January. He was also heading for the last year on his contract and surely didn’t mind a way out of Milwaukee, where they looked hellbent on losing a hundred games next season.

The Loggers were by the nature of these things open to trade, and the Raccoons had a surplus starting pitcher anyway, and some other loose bits (relievers especially) that weren’t gonna make the roster. We’d even toss in a prospect starting pitcher (not: McCorkle). In Loggerland, they listened, but they wanted more. They didn’t want Jack Moses or Aldo – they wanted Jimmy Wharton (or Crispy, straight up, but no thanks).

The team was on the table and ready to be signed. Jimmyboy, Cam Jackson, and #91 Tony Trinidad for Carlos Dominguez, and his $5.8M contract for 2074. No further questions asked. Dominguez with his career .349/.428/.505 slash, 1,842 hits, 158 homers, and 859 RBI would surely fit in well with the Raccoons, especially since the left-handed Dominican slugger had a reputation as an auxiliary coach, always pushing his teammates to do more and to train harder. Every aspiring team could use a player like Dominguez, even if he was going to turn to the wrong side of 30.

But I looked at our former #4 pick. I looked Jimmy Wharton in his hazel eyes, while he was mindlessly munching away on his bowlful of kibble, cheeks full and smacking with delight. What a could little critter he was! What a little angel! And he was supposed to go to the Loggers??

And I saw a black bar appear over his head, and in scarlet letters inside the bar, a word appeared.

It said, BETRAYAL.

There he sat, scratching himself behind his ear with the left hindpaw, mid-munch, entirely unaware yet that he was one stamp of approval away to be BETRAYED and sent to Milwaukee.

BETRAYAL.

LIAR.

FRAUD.

(rubs his big black googly eyes to make the picture go away)

No wonder we never win anything.