[Westheim]

2073 WORLD SERIES
Portland Raccoons (105-57) vs. Pittsburgh Miners (97-65)

For the first time in 19 years the Raccoons would host the World Series in trusty old Raccoons Ballpark, and while nominally they had won more games than the Miners, the task at paw was not an easy one, not only because the Miners right away would throw the man, the monster, Brian “Nuke” Jones on regular rest at them. The lineup perhaps lacked standout sluggers, but was dense from top to bottom (and they had a score of ex-Coons to spit in our food bowls, too!).

Left-handers, that remained our mantra. Gotta lean on our left-handers.

The Raccoons sorted Scott Bickerton to the front of the queue for pitchers in the World Series, while Nick Walla would get the second start here in Portland. After that it was likely that we’d go with Jimmy Wharton rather than Crispy Bear in Game 3.

These teams had met in the regular season, with the Raccoons winning two of the three games. Each team had scored 20 runs on the other. Perhaps my whole theory about pitching in this series was moot, as Jimmyboy Wharton had been at the front of a heavy 13-4 loss, getting stuck with nine runs, in May.

Game 1 – Scott Bickerton (17-10, 3.11 ERA) vs. Brian “Nuke” Jones (21-8, 2.78 ERA)

That 13-4 game had been started by Jones, who had struck out 312 batters this regular season, and another 19 Warriors in the FLCS. Jones was genuinely hard to beat, but he had given up 6+ runs four times this season, so sometimes the slider didn’t slide and the snapper didn’t snap, and we had two rolls of the dice for that in the series, probably, although the Miners were SO desperate for their first championship that they might pitch the 5-time defending FL strikeout king three times in this series.

I can not understate what a monster Jones was. He had 1,579 career strikeouts. He was 27 YEARS OLD.

Bickerton was not with the Raccoons at the time of that May series, and the Falcons didn’t play the Miners at all this year.

The first pitch was thrown out by Stu Loman, the first person to unicycle through all 49 contiguous states and survive the ordeal.

PIT: RF Humphries – 2B R. Pena – 1B DiPrimio – CF Cordova – SS Tr. Taylor – LF Meyer – 3B C. Castro – C W. Romero – P B. Jones
POR: CF Schneider – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – C S. Brown – LF Etienne – 3B Rivera – P Bickerton

The former Critters Steve Humphries and Roberto Pena were rounded up with strikeouts by Bickers to begin the game, but he walked Kris DiPrimio before getting a groundout from Willie Cordova. In the second, Trent Taylor, Mike Meyer, and Carlos Castro, and all the other alliterations, went down on groundouts. The Raccoons first got on base with Licona returning with a leadoff walk in the bottom 2nd, although Woodley then became the first punchout for “Nuke” Jones. Sam Brown singled to right, Licona dashed to third base, and we had runners on the corners for – well, how the **** did we get to the point where Jaylen Etienne (0 career homers) started a World Series game in the field!!?? He struck out, unsurprisingly, and Ronaldo Rivera popped out, ending the inning.

Bickers worked around a leadoff walk to Willie Romero in the third inning, then hit a leadoff single himself in the bottom of the inning. Schneider walked and was forced out by Yocum grounding one to the shortstop Taylor, and with runners on the corners *again*, Katz popped out behind home plate for the second out. Jones got Licona to 1-2, but no further. Licona caught up with the 1-2 pitch, and THUNDERED a 3-run home run to right-center!!! HUZZAH!!!

Two things from there; it started to rain, and Bickerton gave up a leadoff single to DiPrimio, a walk to Taylor, and singles to Meyer and Castro for two runs right away in the fourth inning before Romero popped out and Jones fanned. That entirely wasn’t how you’d want to go about a 3-0 lead with Jones on the mound for the opposition, and it only got worse. The Miners AGAIN had the leadoff man Humphries on base with a single in the fifth, and this time Bickers struck out Pena, flew out DiPrimio, but then gave up a 2-piece to Cordova with two outs, and the Miners took a 4-3 lead…

But you hadn’t seen nothing yet, because Bickerton went back out for the sixth, AGAIN put the ******* leadoff man on base, as he walked Meyer, and then gave up two singles, a run, and then, when faced with Jones, a 3-run homer to break the game wide open, 8-3.

The air was a bit out of the game from here, although Jack Moses at least got a couple of outs on the board without giving up more crooked numbers. Moses also hit a single in the bottom 7th, together with Schneider, who also got back on base, but Yocum lined out to short and Katz grounded out to short to let that chance pass. Jones was done after seven innings, having struck out only five Coons, but done plenty of damage otherwise. Hector Gomez batted for him and cranked a pinch-hit home run off Moses in the eighth. Woodley singled and was doubled up by Brown in the bottom 8th, and after a Woodley error put the leadoff man on base in the ninth inning, Delgado replaced Moses to finish out the game. Delgado SUCKED beyond words, got beaten up and around for another three runs, but that was like his ******* problem, as we preferred to keep the arms together for Game 2.

Miners 12, Raccoons 3 – Miners lead series 1-0

Schneider 2-4, BB, 2B; McFarland (PH) 1-1;

Game 2 – Nick Walla (12-8, 3.16 ERA) vs. Nate Freeman (16-9, 3.22 ERA)

All my schemes so far had been rather harebrained, and now we’d send in Walla for Game 2. He had given up five runs in a no-decision in May, but of course everything was much better aligned for him now. Surely. Hopefully. We also went back and put Markovich in leftfield for Game 2 against the right-handed Nate Freeman.

Freeman had actually pitched twice against the Critters this year, before being traded to the Miners from New York. He had gone 1-1 with a 4.80 ERA.

The ceremonial first pitch was thrown out by Trent Brassfield, who caught the final out of the 2054 World Series, a fly ball by the Warriors’ Jason Schaack, to seal a Raccoons title in five games. Hey, we’re still in the running for that!

PIT: 3B C. Castro – RF Humphries – CF Cordova – 1B DiPrimio – LF Meyer – 2B R. Pena – SS Tr. Taylor – C G. Rivas – P N. Freeman
POR: CF Schneider – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – RF Licona – 1B Woodley – LF Markovich – C S. Brown – 3B Rivera – P Walla

Castro singled to start Game 2, but Walla struck out two of the next three to keep him decent and from scoring. The Raccoons first reached base with back-to-back singles by Woodley and Markovich, who went to the corners with one out in the bottom 2nd, but Sam Brown hit the ball back to the pitcher, and Freeman had no troubles getting a 1-6-3 double play out of that one.

Gabe Rivas’ leadoff single and an error by Brown on Freeman’s bunt then put a pair on base to begin the third inning. Walla struck out Castro, but Humph hit a fly to deep left. Markovich bounced off the wall to catch that, but kept all his limbs intact, at least. Rivas made for third base on the play, but Markovich also caught Willie Cordova’s easier fly to left to keep them on the corners.

Walla hit a single in the bottom 3rd, but nobody cared, and then returned with a leadoff walk (…) to DiPrimio and a Pena single with one out. Taylor popped out to Licona in shallow right, but Rivas singled well past Yocum to drive in DiPrimio from second for the first run of the game. Walla had to get the last out from Freeman, and then issued ANOTHER leadoff walk to Castro in the fifth. He was forced out by Humph, who resisted pickoff attempts, and then the Miners filled the bases with an infield single by Cordova, and then a bloop single by DiPrimio, and perhaps that was the point at which I knew that we weren’t gonna hoist the trophy at the end of the series. The Coons snapped and sent Rios in to replace Walla after his 4.1 muddy innings, but Rios gave up a 2-run single to the previously .120 hitting Mike Meyer, and only then got two outs from Pena and Taylor. The Coons were down 3-0 in the middle of the fifth inning, and looked already pretty much cooked.

Rios batted for himself so he could remove the 8-9-1 batters in the sixth, which he very much didn’t. He got Rivas, then walked Freeman (!!), allowed a single to Castro, walked Humph, and then walked in a run against Cordova. McPartland replaced him and got a double play grounder from DiPrimio to end the inning in the 4-0 game. Yocum also hit into a double play after Schneider walked to begin the bottom 6th, which was a great way to ensure that it didn’t get any closer than 4-0 any time soon. Freeman then walked Katz as well, and then ran into a 2-run homer by Licona, 4-2!

After Woodley hit another single, and Markovich grounded out, McPartland collected three more outs. Freeman returned for the bottom 7th, but was knocked out on two pitches, which Brown and Rivera took for a single and double, respectively, and parked the tying runs in scoring position with nobody out. The Miners replaced Freeman with right-hander Jorge Sanchez, who popped out the pinch-hitting Ramon Mata, conceded a run on Schneider’s groundout, and then also popped out Yocum to leave the tying run on third base.

McMahan for the Coons, and Javier Arocho and Alex Nunez for the Miners allowed no runners in the eighth inning. We actually went to Cecere for the ninth, and he gave up a leadoff single to Humph, but then got three outs and kept the runner on base.

Bottom 9th, and another ex-Coon, Pedro Valentin, who had left Portland last summer with a 6.09 ERA and had since pitched to a 1.90 ERA for the Rebs and Miners, and who could just burn in ******* hell for all I cared. He struck out Markovich and popped out Brown before we tried another lefty bat against him, but Etienne just kept striking out, and the Coons sat at the bottom of an 0-2 soup.

Miners 4, Raccoons 3 – Miners lead series 2-0

Woodley 2-3, BB;

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