[Westheim]

The team’s inevitable march into darkness continued with the news a couple of days later that Dan Gomez, dumped by his girlfriend (presumably because he was playing on the most awful team there was), tried to iron his own shirts and ended up dropping the hot iron on his foot, which was both burned and broken as a result. On the bright paw, there were still four months ‘til Opening Day, and I was sure Luis Silva would figure something out.

At this point the last hope remaining was that some GM would arrive at the Winter Meetings with a temporary blightening of the brain and would take a salary or two off the Raccoons, but to be honest, I wasn’t gonna bet a box of donuts on it anymore.

Only a small pawful of teams was declaring themselves to be in win-now mode, which didn’t make things any easier. I ended up gnawing around on the Warriors about a trade of one of the big salaries on the roster for a while, with the Raccoons getting not even any great prospects in return, but the deal didn’t come together. Jose Corral also proved to be a “vastly overpaid veteran” that was impossible to shift. I nearly had the Thunder in a spot where they would have traded us veteran reliever Marc Timmons – including his two Cincy rings and Corral-sized salary – but they backed out as the deal wasn’t good enough for them.

Finally, the Salvation Army also declined Jose Corral as a charitable donation. And Cristiano Carmona showed me side-by-side comparisons of the stats of Corral and Clyde “Avatar of Losing” Brady, and it was almost scary how they both had one great half-season, and then nothing but blech, poking their 11 homers a year for a pathetic batting average and merrily drawing a salary. Brady even had better speed and defense and posted a lot more WAR. He *never* went under 1.9 WAR in a full season in Portland. Corral posted 1.9 WAR or better THREE times in his career.

I gave up after even Pedro Valentin got no reasonable returns at the shopping desk.

Doom.

+++

December 5 – Denver trades catcher Ryan Rogers (.253, 84 HR, 391 RBI) to the Scorpions to pick up LF/CF Dao-zi Wang (.235, 6 HR, 38 RBI).
December 5 – The replacement is already in town as the Gold Sox sign ex-TIJ C Mike Brann (.247, 135 HR, 505 RBI) to a 2-year deal worth $3.92M.
December 6 – The Titans bring back CL Cody Kleidon (59-69, 3.21 ERA, 394 SV) on a 3-year deal for $12.6M. The 32-year-old spent the last two years with Federal League gigs in Sioux Falls and Topeka.
December 6 – The Capitals win the services of ex-TOP SS Jason Turner (.242, 157 HR, 738 RBI), as the 34-year-old signs a $1.32M contract.
December 6 – SP/MR Alex Dominguez (105-100, 3.68 ERA, 6 SV) and over $2M in cash are dealt from Richmond to Atlanta for young 2B/SS Dennis Wright (.251, 6 HR, 38 RBI) and a prospect.
December 6 – The Aces trade for Nashville’s LF/RF Kazuhide Takeuchi (.271, 94 HR, 387 RBI), parting with 2B/SS Carlos Cervantez (.274, 38 HR, 233 RBI).
December 7 – Sacramento sends SP Justin Kent (113-92, 3.49 ERA) to the Knights for a prospect.
December 7 – The Indians acquire C Andy Morris (.277, 17 HR, 98 RBI) and $900k in cash from the Crusaders for two prospects.
December 8 – The Loggers trade for L.A.’s SP/MR Kevin Bennett (13-13, 4.14 ERA) and $670k in cash while parting with two prospects, including #105 SP Eric Howell.
December 9 – The Titans also sign up ex-DAL CL Jerry Washington (128-80, 2.91 ERA, 233 SV) on a 3-year deal paying $14.64M to the 32-year-old.
December 9 – The Blue Sox trade SP Tony Marquez (74-74, 4.11 ERA) to the Capitals for 2B/3B Angelo Flores (.274, 176 HR, 924 RBI) and a prospect.
December 10 – The Gold Sox send LF/RF Steve Millen (.308, 29 HR, 155 RBI) to the Warriors for OF/2B/SS Devon Franks (.234, 5 HR, 62 RBI), AAA MR Manny Romero, and cash.

+++

24-year-old Manny Romero would have been in the deal of Humph to Sioux Falls that fell through. He’s not even special. But he would have had a spot on this godforsaken team.

At this rate I wasn’t so sure we’d get anybody or anything before April…

+++

December 14 – The Warriors ink ex-BOS C David Johnson (.282, 362 HR, 1,319 RBI) to a 3-year deal, nothing ordinary for a 36-year-old catcher, worth $19.9M.
December 16 – A catcher switcheroo is completed when the Titans sign the former Warriors catcher Nick Dingman (.280, 338 HR, 1041 RBI), promising $8.48M over two years to the 35-year-old.
December 17 – Cincy brings in ex-NYC LF/RF Javier Acuna (.274, 140 HR, 641 RBI) on a 2-year, $8.88M deal.
December 20 – Pittsburgh seems to have snapped completely by giving a $7.3M contract for one season to former Crusaders CL John Faughnan (47-35, 2.64 ERA, 213 SV).
December 24 – The Titans land another big blow on the league by signing former Aces OF Victor Lorenzo (.316, 27 HR, 559 RBI) on a 7-yr, $48.5M contract.
December 24 – The Crusaders snatch up SP Nate Freeman (56-60, 3.69 ERA) from their Vancouver division rivals for an offer of four years and $24.48M.
December 29 – Vancouver console themselves with the signing of ex-POR MR Danny Nava (47-35, 3.42 ERA, 52 SV) for $10.2M over three years.
December 30 – The Capitals sign ex-OCT SP Ken Nielsen (130-93, 3.32 ERA) for $16.5M over two seasons.

+++

The Raccoons continued to fail at unloading even modest pieces like Corral or Valentin. Benito Otal also proved worthless in December, and I wondered at which point we’d just accept our fate and resign ourselves to three last-place finishes and watching Big Wharton and Humph simply turn old and gray on the roster before they’d turn to dust.

True, Slappy, they might also turn old and gray *on the DL*. I wasn’t even considering that. (shrinks deeper into the pillows on the couch)

A new nadir was then reached in late December when we were doing something rather innocent and just looked around for an infielder that could cover the middle spots and third base rather well and was at least not a raging alcoholic and/or wifebeater. We came across a 26-year-old fringe player on the Loggers, with the rather short name Jon Fish, who had all of six games under his belt. The Loggers thought the price for him should be Jimmy Wharton or die.

And Maud won’t even let me die.

New homes for old Critters: Tyler Riddle got a 2-year deal worth $2.76M from the Titans; the Cyclones added Jorge Quinones to the juggernaut for $1.6M; Malcolm Spicer went to Elk City (…!!) for $1.88M of blood money; Nick Robinson at age 41 got $3.16M from the Caps;

+++

There is a Hall of Fame ballot with Lonzo on it, and this is as good a time as any to inform you that dastardly Omar Sanchez held on to his moribund career just long enough to steal one more base during the just finished season, and thus broke the tie with Lonzo for most career steals. It’s now Sanchez 753, Lonzo 752. Sanchez then promptly retired. *******.