[Westheim]

Raccoons (0-0) @ Canadiens (0-0) – April 8-10, 2070

To my extreme dismay, the Raccoons had to start their season in the frozen tundra, which meant that I was not able to attend, being still on Canada’s Most Wanted list. They couldn’t even fill it to ten faces, but somehow mine was up there right at #3 for all those years…! Anyway, I had to smolder at home in the office and occasionally break into hysterical bursts of “I bet we’re gonna score TEN on Opening Day!” – because that was surely not gonna end in bitter disappointment. The damn Elks had at least laid down for the season series last year, which the Raccoons had won (10-8) for the first time in eight years. They were a popular pick to finish bottoms in the North – assuming the Raccoons could keep their pitching together and their new batting toys off the DL.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (0-0) vs. Nate Freeman (0-0)
Vinny Morales (0-0) vs. Ricardo Montoya (0-0)
Tony Gaytan (0-0) vs. Juan Rosado (0-0)

All Elks starters were right-handed. The Coons started the season with 16 straight games without an off day, ignoring being off on the actual Opening Day Monday of the season. No rest for the wicked until the 24th.

Game 1
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 1B Morejon – 3B Gallo – RF Corral – C Flowe – P Walla
VAN: SS Barraza – LF J. Hawkins – RF Lozada – 1B An. Ramirez – CF D. Moore – 3B C. Castro – C J. Contreras – 2B Den. Wright – P N. Freeman

The Raccoons sure made an instant impact on the Elks, who saw Adam Yocum reach on a soft single before Nate Freeman – like Nick Walla a hot contender for the 2068 CL ERA title before late fades – gave up back-to-back bombs to John Katzman and Tyler Wharton for an instant 3-0 score! Tah!! (excitedly hops around the office with Honeypaws in his arms)

Now, of course the Elks were not gonna lie down that easily. Nick Walla got tagged for a run in the bottom 2nd on hits by Dan Moore, Jonathan Contreras, and Dennis Wright, and his stuff looked it was still skiing up in the mountains. He struck out just two batters through five innings, while scattering five hits, just as many as the Raccoons got off Freeman in the same timeframe, as they calmed down noticeably after the first inning. At least until Tyler Wharton hit his second homer of the game, another solo piece in the sixth inning that extended the lead to 4-1 again. Freeman racked up ten strikeouts by stretch time, and the Elks then really started to hit Walla. Contreras went deep to left in the bottom 7th, and Wright hit a triple to right and scored on a pinch-hit groundout by Hector Moreno, which suddenly narrowed the score to 4-3. Roberto Barraza grounded out for the second out of the inning, but Jeff Hawkins then got Walla for another double, and that was the end for the Coons’ starter. Danny Nava came in and popped out Roberto Lozada to end the inning.

Elks lefty Josh Atkins walked Katzman and Wharton in the eighth inning, but the Raccoons could not do anything with that as George van Otterdijk popped out hitting for Jerry Morejon, and Gallo grounded out to second to end the inning. McMahan retired Antonio Ramirez, Dan Moore, and Castro in order in the bottom 8th. The Coons didn’t get past a Jake Flowe single off long-ago Coon Elijah LaBat in the ninth inning, and the gap remained a skinny run into the bottom 9th. Pedro Valentin got the ball, obviously. John Bustillos flew out to center before Wright reached on an error by Katzman just as we inserted Josh Mireles at short and moved Katz to second for “defense”. However, Jose Alvarez and Barraza made calm outs to end the game and give the Coons that Opening Day win. 4-3 Raccoons. Katzman 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; T. Wharton 2-3, BB, 2 HR, 2 RBI;

Jake Flowe extended a 12-game hitting streak to end the 2069 season with that late single.

Actually, let me rephrase that “no off days thing” – Wednesday brought snow to Blizzard City, and that day’s game was postponed for an honest attempt to play two on Thursday. This was after the Indians-Loggers season opener on Tuesday was already frozen out at America’s ice box, the Great Lakes.

Given no *actual* off days on the schedule, a spot start was right away on the table. Rios? Carpio?

Game 2
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 1B Morejon – 3B Gallo – RF Corral – C Flowe – P Morales
VAN: SS Barraza – C J. Contreras – RF Lozada – 1B An. Ramirez – CF D. Moore – 3B C. Castro – LF Bustillos – 2B Den. Wright – P R. Montoya

The Elks got the start for the double header, plonking Vinny Morales for three singles with Barraza, Contreras, and Ramirez before Dan Moore cranked a first-inning grand slam for a 4-0 score. Dennis Wright in the second and Jonathan Contreras in the third added solo home runs, leading to Morales’ early demise from a 6-0 game. Gabriel Rios replaced him and got out of the inning, but then got whacked around himself in the fourth. Bustillos and Wright hit singles to begin the inning, and while Montoya’s poor bunt forced out the lead runner, the Elks still scored three more tuns with a Contreras RBI single and Lozada’s 2-run double with two outs. Meanwhile, the Raccoons had three singles through five innings and were not even remotely near scoring a run. (rolls into a ball on the trusty brown couch)

Not getting near scoring position was even preferable to the sixth inning, which Steve Humphries led off with a triple and then was left stranded on third base on three pops and grounders by those very expensive 2-3-4 hitters. The game was about just getting through it and perhaps have some pitching left over for the second one, should it actually be played. Victor Ramirez made his Coons debut and put up a zero in the bottom 5th, which at this point had to be considered a rousing success, while Edgar Gutierrez made his ABL debut outta Mexico with two innings, but gave up a homer to Antonio Ramirez in the bottom 7th, just after J.P. Gallo had tried to do some rallying with a solo jack off Montoya in the top 7th. Javy Carpio then also made his Coons debut, allowed three singles right out of the gate, walked in a run, and somehow only got tagged for three more runs in this absolute rout of a game. Katzman hit a homer off Roberto Navarro in the ninth he should have saved for the next game. 13-2 Canadiens. Gallo 2-4, HR, RBI;

Ow.

Game 3
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – 3B Gallo – 1B Fumero – C Jalomo – P Gaytan
VAN: SS Barraza – LF J. Hawkins – RF Lozada – 1B An. Ramirez – CF D. Moore – 3B C. Castro – C J. Sandoval – 2B Onelas – P J. Rosado

It was bitterly cold for the nightcap and right after the first inning Tony Gaytan confided to the pitching coach that he couldn’t feel his claw tips for the near-freezing temps. Good foundation for a guy that gives the souvenirs up by the dozen! However, the Elks had only one hit off him in the first two innings, and then the Raccoons somehow scored. Tyler Wharton had been on base but was caught stealing in the second, and Jalomo drew a 1-out walk in the bottom 3rd before being forced out on Gaytan’s bad bunt. Back-to-back doubles by Humphries and Yocum – RBI’s for the latter – put the first two runs on the board though before Katzman grounded out. However, maybe the ball just wasn’t gonna fly outta here in arctic temperatures. Wharton clocked a fastball that sounded absolutely gone off the bat, but dropped into Hawkins’ glove on the edge of the warning track in the fourth. Gaytan staggered around leadoff singles by Jerry Sandoval in the third and Hawkins in the fourth, and retired the 7-8-9 in order to get the shutout through five, but had only one strikeout to his name.

Hawkins hit a 1-out double to center in the bottom 6th before Lozada popped out. Ramirez grounded one to Yocum that was misfielded off Yocum’s frozen paw for an error, and the tying runs were on the corners. Dan Moore hit a grounder to the left side that Katzman dove for and knocked down, but ended up with his face in a snow pile and had no play – infield single, and the Elks scored an unearned run, 2-1. Gaytan then managed to get Carlos Castro to hack himself out to end the inning. Top 7th, and Rosado hit Gallo leading off, then walked Fumero on four pitches. Gallo was then caught stealing third, and the battery made poor outs to kill the inning for good. Gaytan got the 7-8-9 in order again, followed by some actual offense in his favor when Yocum tripled to right with one out in the eighth. Katzman singled to center to get the run home, 3-1, and when Moore clanked the ball with his hoof for an error, Katz jiggered up to second. Wharton was walked intentionally. Katz had the urge to get back to the dugout where they had a mobile heater the entire time huddled around, so when the Otter singled up the middle to center there was no stopping him at third base. Moore’s throw home was late, and the run scored. The trail runners advanced as well, but Rosado walked Gallo regardless to fill the bases. Morejon pinch-hit for Fumero, but popped out to short, and Jalomo flew out to right to leave the bags full. Gaytan returned to get the 1-2-3 batters in order in the eighth (Katzman shagging a scorched liner that felt oddly comfortable in the paw upon making impact), then was hit for. Valentin allowed singles to Moore and Castro in the ninth inning, but held on with a K on Hector Moreno and a Bustillos groundout to end the game. 4-1 Raccoons. Humphries 2-5, 2B; Yocum 3-5, 3B, 2B, 2 RBI; T. Wharton 2-3, BB; Gaytan 8.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 0 BB, 3 K, W (1-0);

Raccoons (2-1) vs. Knights (3-0) – April 11-13, 2070

The Coons came home already thinking about spot starts, but not for this series, but rather Monday afterwards. The Knights had thrashed the Aces for *32* runs in three games, so I was a bit queasy. They had allowed *eight*. Early doors! Last year we won six of nine games against them, the third year in a row that we took that season series.

Projected matchups:
Jimmy Wharton (0-0) vs. Rob Wilkinson (0-0)
Ian Lowry (0-0) vs. Scott Triebwasser (0-0)
Nick Walla (1-0, 4.05 ERA) vs. Adam Lunn (1-0, 0.00 ERA)

We will have to wait a bit longer for our first southpaw opponent of the year.

Looking at Monday, we’d play those battered Aces. Their lineup looked like we’d rather send a right-hander up for a spot start, which would then by Carpio, 27.00 ERA be damned.

Game 1
ATL: CF J. Soto – SS Guangorena – C Hart – RF Da. Mendoza – 1B DiPrimio – 3B Schomer – 2B J. King – LF Troxel – P Wilkinson
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 1B Morejon – 3B Gallo – RF Corral – C Flowe – P J. Wharton

The Knights had the bases loaded immediately as Jorge Soto doubled, Tomas Guangorena singled, and Jimmyboy fudged Justin Hart’s comebacker for an error. This was a good time for an early mound conference, and Wharton responded to suggestions that he might wanna stop ******* up with getting a grounder from David Mendoza to third that Gallo used to tap his base with, but the throw to second was late, and then a 4-6-3 double play from Kris DiPrimio, keeping the damage to one run. Katzman made an error in the second to keep traffic levels high, and in the third the Knights put Hart and Mendoza on with singles before DiPrimio popped out and Jon Schomer sent Big Wharton back to the warning track to make an inning-ending catch. The Coons’ first base hit was a leadoff jack by Jose Corral in the bottom 3rd, tying the game, and Jimmyboy hit a double with one out, but overran the base and was tagged out as he displayed more symptoms of overexcitement over starting the home opener.

Soto drew a leadoff walk in the fifth and Guangorena singled as trouble began to brew on the bases, but Hart hit into a 6-4-3 and Mendoza also grounded out to dispel the threat. The sixth then started JUST like that, with a leadoff walk to DiPrimio and a Schomer single. Joe King then hit into a 4-6-3 double play and Tom Troxel grounded out.

Rob Wilkinson left the 1-1 game with an injury in the bottom 6th, still pitching a 2-hitter. Wharton was still in for the seventh. Soto got him for a 1-out double, but Guangorena flew out easily. Justin Hart, hitting .471, was then a terrible 2-out batter to appear. The switch-hitter murdered left-handers especially, but had looked bad for several at- … no, he singled to left and brought in the go-ahead run. Wharton then walked PH Jorge Munoz on his way out of the game. Nava cleaned up behind him when he got DiPrimio to ground out. The Coons got Yocum on base to begin the bottom 7th, but Katzman whiffed and Wharton hit into a double play. The Knights instead tacked on another run against Victor Ramirez in the ninth, as Soto bashed a leadoff triple and scored on a Guangorena sac fly. The Coons never got another paw on base. 3-1 Knights.

Miserable game.

Game 2
ATL: CF J. Soto – SS Guangorena – RF Da. Mendoza – C Hart – 1B DiPrimio – 2B J. Munoz – 3B Schomer – LF Valencia – P Triebwasser
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 1B Morejon – RF Corral – C Flowe – 3B Jalomo – P Lowry

Lowry made his Coons debut and broke Adam Yocum on his first play, allowing a scorched liner to Soto that Yocum caught with a weird leap and stretch, but cranked his back and left the game after a lengthy on-field consultation with trainer Luis Silva. Josh Mireles replaced him, playing short, with Katz going over to second. Lowry put up two scoreless before Big Wharton opened the bottom 2nd with a double to left. Jerry Morejon ended an 0-10 spill to begin his Coons season and singled, putting them on the corners. Corral popped out, but Flowe managed to get the game’s first run home with a groundout, which was also all for the inning. Runners were on the corners with two outs again in the bottom 3rd after Mireles and Katzman singled. Wharton struck out and nobody scored.

Offense remained absent for the Raccoons, and the Knights tied the game in the sixth when Triebwasser and Soto hit singles off Lowry, pulled off a double steal, and then got the tying run home on Guangorena’s groundout before David Mendoza left the go-ahead runner at third base with another groundout. Lowry made it to the stretch in the 1-1 tie, then was hit for with Corral, who legged out an infield single with nobody on and two gone in the bottom 7th. Triebwasser allowed another single to Humphries, but Mireles popped out.

The eighth saw the Knights get Joe King and Guangorena hits off Gutierrez before Gabriel Rios came on and rung up PH Santiago Valdez and Hart to keep the game tied. Valentin also scattered two runners in the ninth inning, but pulled through the inning, leaving Schomer and Troxel stranded when John Baxley grounded out to short from the #9 hole. Still tied, the Coons were bringing the bottom of the order against Alvaro Garza, right-hander, in the ninth inning. The Coons’ pair of catchers was hitting 1-for-20 for the season, so there was room for improvement, but Flowe grounded out and Jalomo flew out to left. Gallo whiffed in the pitcher’s spot, and the game went to extras.

There, Danny Nava held off the Knights for two innings, but the Raccoons just. Could. Not. Get. Going. Morejon drew a walk in the 11th and was left at first, and that was the extent of offense they showed. The last spot start option for Monday disappeared when the Coons had to go to Carpio for the 12th inning and beyond, bringing him in with a double switch, Otal replacing the Otter, but playing left, with Humphries moving to right. Carpio only had to pitch one inning, giving up FIVE runs on seven hits. Schomer and Troxel opened with singles, Lorenzo Marquez (nods acknowledgement) swatted a 3-run homer, and then they just added on for fun. The Coons didn’t even reach base. 6-1 Knights. Mireles 2-5; Katzman 2-5; Corral (PH) 1-1; Lowry 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 5 K;

(starts to feel despair)

As Adam Yocum went to the DL on Sunday, the Raccoons called up 27-year-old Jacob Davis, the textbook definition of “warm body”. Davis would wear #29, his old #38 having been given to Victor Ramirez.

Game 3
ATL: CF J. Soto – SS Guangorena – RF Da. Mendoza – C Hart – 1B DiPrimio – 2B J. Munoz – 3B Schomer – LF S. Valdez – P Lunn
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Katzman – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – 3B Gallo – 1B Fumero – C Flowe – SS Mireles – P Walla

Nick Walla retired Atlanta in order the first time through and struck out the side in the second inning, then bunted Flowe (walk) and Mireles (scratch single) into scoring position in the bottom 3rd. Humphries whiffed and Katzman flew out to Soto to leave them stranded. – Cristiano! What is going on?? (panic in the eyes)

Walla retired 11 straight before David Mendoza took him deep in the fourth inning for the game’s first run. The Coons began their half of the fourth with a Corral groundout before Wharton singled to left and stole second – the first steal by a Coon this year after four failed attempts – followed by a walk to Gallo in a full count. Fumero singled the bags full, Flowe whiffed, and Mireles floated one out for Mendoza to pick down. Humphries singled and stole second in the fifth inning, but was thrown out at the plate by Valdez when he tried to come home from second on a Katzman single.

The next thing to go wrong then appeared to be Nick Walla’s arm shaking itself loose. He had not walked a batter in the first 11 innings of the season, and struck out Lunn to begin the top 6th, but then walked Soto and Guangorena, who took off for a double steal. Flowe threw the ball away, allowing Soto to score, but Walla kept walking Mendoza. Hart hit an RBI single, and then Walla walked DiPrimio and Munoz (the latter with the bases loaded) before being retrieved and taken down the tunnel by Silva. Edgar Gutierrez got a 5-4-3 double play from Schomer to end the inning and keep the damage to four total runs on three hits and five walks, although our concerns were different altogether at that point.

The Coons were deep in the doldrums in the bottom 7th, making outs with Flowe and Mireles before Benito Otal pinch-hit for Gutierrez and singled. Humphries hit another single, and Katzman knocked an RBI double, suddenly bringing the tying run to the plate against new pitcher Evan Alvey. Van Otterdijk batted for Corral against the southpaw, then grounded out on a 3-0 pitch with Wharton behind him, the braindead little ****. Wharton then doubled to right off Alvey to begin the eighth instead, but with nobody on base of course. McMahan and Ramirez kept the Knights from scoring more runs in the late innings, while Mireles then opened the bottom 9th with a triple off Erik Swain. He scored on Otal’s groundout, but that in itself helped little to overcome a 3-run deficit. Humph and Katz were retired to end the game and complete the sweep. 4-2 Knights. Katzman 2-5, 2B, RBI; T. Wharton 2-4, 2B; Mireles 2-4, 3B; Otal (PH) 1-2, RBI;

(looks pale)

Luis Silva checked every square inch of Walla’s right arm overnight and found nothing, and I don’t know whether that is supposed to calm me the **** down now!? FIVE WALKS IN AN INNING, LUIS SILVA!! FIVE!! (shakes)

Raccoons (2-4) vs. Aces (3-3) – April 14-16, 2070

The Aces had just swept the Indians, but still entered having allowed the most runs so far in the CL. They were sixth in runs scored, while the Raccoons were tied for last with the Falcons. The Aces’ rotation had suffered the worst against the Knights, as evident in a couple of ERA’s that were coming up here. But at least they had all their ducks in a row. This season series had also been won 6-3 by the Coons last year.

Projected matchups:
Cody Childress (0-0) vs. Alex Duarte (0-1, 14.73 ERA)
Vinny Morales (0-1, 20.25 ERA) vs. Ignazio Flores (0-1, 23.63 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (1-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Danny Ryba (1-0, 1.29 ERA)

Flores would be the first left-handed pitcher for us to contend with this season, and the only in this series.

The Coons exchanged Jacob Davis, who had not gotten into Sunday’s game, back for spot starter Cody Childress, who had gone 2-10 with a 3.94 ERA for Portland last year. Morales had only thrown 48 pitches in his rounding up by the Elks on Thursday, but he looked like he could use every second of rest. Childress had not packed any spare underwear with the understanding that he was gonna be right back in St. Pete on Tuesday.

Game 1
LVA: SS Hatakeyama – CF Phelps – LF Lorenzo – C Haynes – RF A. Rosado – 3B Rodewald – 2B J. Williams – 1B Caceres – P A. Duarte
POR: LF Humphries – SS Katzman – RF Corral – CF T. Wharton – 3B Gallo – 1B Morejon – 2B Fumero – C Flowe – P Childress

Koji Hatakeyama opened the game with a double to left-center, but Josh Phelps grounded out and pops by Vic Lorenzo and Chris Haynes kept him stranded at third base. The Coons instead took a 1-0 lead in the bottom 1st on singles by Humphries, Wharton, and Gallo, who got the RBI. The lead lasted for one out before Childress gave it back, and then some, on Jorge Caceres’ score-flipping 2-run double in the top 2nd, which plated Alfredo Rosado and Matt Rodewald. The two scorers got on base again with a 2-out double and catcher’s interference, respectively, in the third inning, but Jimmy Williams’ grounder to Katzman kept them stranded.

The middle innings were rather calm; Childress finished six innings of 5-hit ball, but then ran out of pitches. He still had a chance for a W in the bottom 6th, when Corral reached base, but was forced out by Wharton, and then Gallo and Morejon got on base with two outs, bringing up Fumero with the bags stacked, but he grounded out miserably to short. The Coons then gave the ball to Javy Carpio, who couldn’t get much worse from his blowup against the Knights, but at least gave it an honest go in the seventh inning. He allowed a leadoff triple to Hakateyama, plated the run with a wild pitch, and then allowed singles to Phelps and Lorenzo before balking in Phelps’ run with two outs. It was truly breathtaking. Jimmy Williams and Tyler Wharton then both hit a triple in the eighth inning and neither scored – the Coons declining to bring in the run with Gallo popping out and Morejon hitting an inning-ending grounder to short in a 3-0 count. (gob hangs open) In the ninth, the Coons got a leadoff single from Fumero before Mireles pinch-hit and smacked into a double play. 4-1 Aces. Humphries 2-4; T. Wharton 2-4, 3B; Gallo 2-4, RBI; Fumero 2-4; Childress 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 R, 2 BB, 3 K, L (0-1);

(sad stare)

Cody Childress (0-1, 3.00 ERA) went on waivers after the game, and the clueless Coons brought up Dan Gomez, who had started the AAA season hitting .313, but was not going to play against the left-handed pitcher on Tuesday anyway.

Game 2
LVA: SS Hatakeyama – 2B Cervantez – LF Lorenzo – C Haynes – RF A. Rosado – 3B Rodewald – CF Phelps – 1B A. Jones – P I. Flores
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – 1B Fumero – 3B Gallo – SS Mireles – C Jalomo – P Gaytan*

Portland again scored in the first inning when Flores nicked Wharton, who was brought around on singles by the Otter and Fumero before Gallo lined out to Hatakeyama. Mireles also was hit, but doubled off by Jalomo in the second. Hatakeyama would hit a triple and score on an error by Mireles to tie the game in the third inning, but Tyler Wharton exacted revenge for the earlier plunking with a solo homer to left, giving Gaytan a new 2-1 lead.

Offense was slow again in the middle innings, with Gaytan gliding through on a 3-hitter while the Coons put Katz and Big Wharton on the corners with 2-out singles in the fifth but van Otterdijk declined to bring in a run and popped out. The 2-1 lead was still up in the eighth inning when Mireles made another error to put Lorenzo on base to begin the inning, and then Gaytan balked him to second base as if Lorenzo wasn’t fast enough anyway. Chris Haynes hit a scratch single to put them on the corners, but Alfredo Rosado popped out to Katzman. Gaytan faced Matt Rodewald, gave up the game-tying single on the first pitch, and then was lifted for Nava, who whiffed Phelps, and McMahan to face Adam Jones, but who got to ring up PH Byron Duncan instead to keep the go-ahead runners on base.

Bottom 8th, Katzman hit a leadoff single to center. Wharton’s long fly was caught by Phelps, and van Otterdijk popped out. Fumero singled, sending the go-ahead run to third base, but Gallo flew out to Rosado and they continued to be just infuriating. Hatakeyama reached on a 1-out error by McMahan in the ninth, but the southpaw cleaned up his own mess on the rug with a pop and a strikeout and kept the game tied into the bottom 9th, where the Coons launched three left-handed pinch-hitters at righty Pedro Negron, and didn’t make it out of the infield with any ball between Morejon, Flowe, and Gomez.

Deep enough in the morass to send Pedro Valentin out for two innings in April, the Coons had the 1-2-3 go down in order in the tenth against Negron, then faced righty Mel Guerra in the 11th. Corral batted for van Otterdijk and scorched a triple down the line, and so the game winner was 90 feet away with nobody out. Fumero ended it quickly with a single through the left side. 3-2 Blighters. Katzman 2-5; T. Wharton 2-4, HR, RBI; Corral (PH) 1-1, 3B; Fumero 3-5, 2 RBI; Gaytan 7.1 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 0 ER, 3 BB, 6 K; Valentin 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, W (1-0);

Maud, please call the police. I would like to report a $30M offense missing.

With such a long string of games, we’d have to give out off days. Tyler Wharton and Steve Humphries got Wednesday off.

Meanwhile the Aces scratched Ryba for unknown reasons and sent a right-handed spot starter, Luis Ortiz (0-0, 13.50 ERA).

Game 3
LVA: SS Hatakeyama – 2B Cervantez – LF Lorenzo – C Haynes – RF A. Rosado – 3B Rodewald – CF Phelps – 1B A. Jones – P L. Ortiz
POR: 2B Fumero – SS Katzman – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – 1B Morejon – LF van Otterdijk – CF Otal – C Flowe – P Morales

Hatakeyama singled through Katzman’s legs and then stole two bases before scoring on Vic Lorenzo’s sac fly in the first inning on Wednesday, just in case you thought it couldn’t get much worse; well, Morales’ ERA didn’t get worse, thanks to getting gangbanged for six runs in 2.2 innings in his season debut… The Aces’ lead was short-lived, as in the bottom 1st Katzman singled, Corral drew a walk, and Gallo hit an RBI single. Katzman scored well ahead of Phelps’ throw home, allowing the trailing runners to advance, but Morejon whiffed and van Otterdijk flew out to leave a pair in scoring position…

Morales’ ERA then went back to the 20.25 he had started with once he gave up a home run to Alfredo Rosado to lead off the second inning, and then two more homers for four runs in the third inning. Carlos Cervantez singled with one out, and with two gone Chris Haynes homered for 424 feet, Rosado singled, and Rodewald crashed another 2-run homer. The four hits came within seven pitches.

Vinny Morales then had his sordid bum dragged through five innings before being hit for, getting whacked around some more, although when you accidentally kept them in the park, the Coons’ outfielders proved quite capable to prevent major offensive outbursts. In turn, Benito Otal hit a homer to right with Gallo on base to shorten the gap to 6-3 in the fourth inning. Fumero and Corral reached in the fifth, but didn’t score, and then the ball went to Carpio, who had to post at least one zero here in the top 6th or he’d have his moist tush voided off the roster already. He didn’t as Adam Jones legged out an infield hit and then scored on a 2-out Cervantez single, although part of the blame was on Fumero’s slow play on Jones’ grounder. However, Caprio was then taken over the fence by Haynes in the seventh, and put two more on base, and I didn’t feel like dealing with that **** for another five-and-a-half months. Josh Mireles batted for him and homered off Ortiz in the bottom 7th, not that it made much of a dent in the Aces’ lead.

We got to add an hourlong rain delay in the eighth to the non-fun, but on the other side Gallo got on base against Mel Guerra before being forced out by Morejon. Guerra walked van Otterdijk and was replaced with left-hander John Santamaria, who threw a wild pitch before allowing a run on a mighty groundout by Tyler Wharton, batting for Otal. Jalomo batted for Flowe and grounded out. Fumero drew a walk in the ninth, but that was the extent of the rally there. 8-5 Aces. Gallo 2-3, BB, RBI; Mireles (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

In other news

April 7 – NAS RF Austin Gordon (.200, 1 HR, 1 RBI) hits a solo home run in a 4-1 Opening Day win against the Miners to reach 300 career homers. The 33-year-old 2064 FL home run leader tags PIT SP Brian Jones (0-1, 2.84 ERA) for the milestone.
April 7 – ATL SP Adam Lunn (1-0, 0.00 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout to beat the Aces, 7-0.
April 7 – The Titans beat the Crusaders in the XXL Version of Opening Day, not walking off, 6-5, until the 16th inning.
April 8 – Rebs OF Juan Licona (.556, 0 HR, 2 RBI) hits safely in the first two games of the season, including two singles in this day’s 8-6 loss to the Cyclones, to stretch a hitting streak started in ’69 to 20 games.
April 8 – The Warriors trade 2B Jimmy Madden (1-for-4, 0 HR, 0 RBI) to the Pacifics for SS/2B Dustin Cox (.250, 0 HR, 0 RBI).
April 10 – New Warriors closer Brad Fales (0-1, 27.00 ERA) is ruled out for the season with a gross case of shoulder inflammation.
April 10 – LAP 2B/SS/LF Zach Giddings (.778, 1 HR, 4 RBI) goes 5-for-5 with three RBI, including the walkoff home run, in a 10-8 win against the Scorpions.
April 14 – Rebels OF Juan Licona (.400, 1 HR, 7 RBI) runs his hitting streak from September to 25 games with a sixth-inning single in a 6-2 win against the Wolves.
April 14 – A broken rib is going to cost SFW OF Jordan Lopez (.280, 1 HR, 2 RBI) a month on the DL.
April 15 – SAL SP Martyn Polaco (1-1, 1.62 ERA) takes a no-hitter into the ninth inning against the Rebels, but gives up singles to RIC C/1B Willie Romero (.375, 0 HR, 1 RBI) and streaking Juan Licona (.382, 1 HR, 7 RBI) and has to settle for CL Johnny Chapman (0-0, 7.71 ERA, 1 SV) to save his 2-1 win.
April 16 – The Condors place SP Jason Brenize (0-2, 4.50 ERA) on the DL to sort out some elbow soreness. The 8-time Pitcher of the Year is expected to return at the start of May.

Player of the Week (FL): DAL CF/LF Matt Little (.429, 3 HR, 11 RBI)
Player of the Week (CL): VAN 1B Antonio Ramirez (.632, 3 HR, 7 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Nine games. 23 runs.

Just a few select comments on the offense. Steve Humphries drew 102 walks last season, and managed two so far. He is about to half his OBP. We have four bodies for the catcher and first base jobs, and none can hit. The Yocum injury was devastating. I feel very very tired already.

Then the pitching. Vinny Morales has given up SIX homers, and Tony Gaytan none. Nor an earned run, but three walks, as we soldier on here in upside-down land. No word on Nick Walla and whether his arm has come off after that 5-walk inning that sunk him against Atlanta.

Once I am done crying here, Javy Carpio (0-1, 21.60 ERA) will go on waivers. **** that guy.

Maud, can you please call Dr. Schoenbloom? I have this hammering in my head again. I need something that dulls my brain.

Upcoming: a nice, gnarly four-city road trip to Indy, Milwaukee, Tijuana, and Oklahoma City.

Fun Fact: Jared Duhe got a .375/.474/.531 start for the Warriors.

(buries face in paws)

+++

*Silly me forgot to reset my rotation after shoving in Childress earlier.