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Da scene opens with the Superfans sittin’ at a table. Each got a bratwurst in one hand and a frosty beverage in the other. A big sign in the back says “DA BLACKHAWKS.”
BOB: All right… first tings first… DA BLACKHAWKS.
ALL: DA BLACKHAWKS!!!
PAT: Lemme just say—these Hawks… these mighty, mighty Hawks… down 3–0 to da Oilers. Everybody’s writin’ us off. Everybody sayin’, “Ohhh, Edmonton’s too fast, too good, Wayne Gretzky dis, Wayne Gretzky dat…”
BOB: Gretzky, Schmetzky.
TODD: Yeah, Gretzky’s cryin’ into his poutine right about now.
BOB: We storm back, we win Game 4. Boom. Then Game 5… in Edmonton… what happens?
PAT: We don’t just win, we crush ‘em. 10–3. Ten to three. That’s not a hockey game, that’s a massacre with extra sausage.
ALL: DA BLACKHAWKS!!!
TODD: Danny Perez on the mound—seven innings, three hits, two homers allowed to Gretzky but who cares—he shuts the door. Perez is out there like a mix between Dominik Hašek and Ditka himself.
BOB: And Choi? Yong-su Choi? That man steps up in the third, two outs, BOOM. Two-run bomb. 6–1 Hawks. Crowd in Edmonton goes quieter than a Packers fan in January.
PAT: And den Bedard caps it off in da ninth… long fly ball… gone. Upper deck. DA BLACKHAWKS runnin’ away wit it.
BOB: Edmonton’s shakin’. You can see it. Oilers ain’t used to takin’ a punch like dat.
TODD: They were like “ohhhh we up 3–0, this is gonna be easy.” And then DA BLACKHAWKS say—NO.
ALL: DA BLACKHAWKS!!!
PAT: Now we go back to Chicago. United Center. Friday night. Da barn’s gonna be louder than Ditka orderin’ Polish sausages at halftime.
BOB: And lemme tell ya—momentum?
ALL: All Hawks.
TODD: Perez gets Player of da Game. But dis was a full team beatdown. Hextall’s runnin’ the bases, Diaz hittin’ triples, Choi crushin’ sinkers. Oilers bullpen looked like a bunch o’ guys who just found out da sausage is gone.
BOB: All right, quick prediction time. How many goals do da Hawks score in Game 6?
PAT: I’m goin’ wit 37.
TODD: I’ll say 112. Conservative estimate.
BOB: I’ll take 10 again. A nice, even ten. Like Ditka woulda wanted.
PAT: Da Oilers? Zero. Maybe negative two.
ALL: DA BLACKHAWKS!!!
TODD: Edmonton thought dis was over. But lemme tell ya somethin’—ya don’t count out Chicago. Ya don’t count out Ditka. And ya don’t count out DA BLACKHAWKS.
ALL (chanting): HAWKS IN SEVEN! HAWKS IN SEVEN! DA BLACKHAWKS!!! 🏒🥩🍻
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