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Westheim · 09-01-2025, 04:24 PM

I am ABSOLUTELY seeing too much of this completely decrepit, useless, bottomless, spineless, feckless pitching recently.

And it’s the Mets AND the Raccoons ganging up at the same time, and I just CAN’T anymore.

Last Coons week I played:
VAN 9, POR 1 – after a day off, 27-year-old AAA nobody Vinny Morales gets knifed in the back by his own defense, gives up four runs (two earned) before the bullpen habitually explodes
VAN 5, POR 0 – Tony Gaytan (#2?) can’t get anybody out and is yanked after 3.2 innings; the difference to Manaea is that he’s young and cheap
VAN 6, POR 5 (16) – Girolamo “Pizza” Pizzichini works himself up in five innings for a 4-2 lead that the bullpen dutifully blows before then delivering stellar scoreless relief in extras until we’re finally out of arms and have to throw in “ace” Nick Walla, the next day’s starter, who goes three innings before giving up the winning homer
TIJ 0, POR 4 – reclamation project Alex Dominguez on regular rest in place of Walla somehow spins seven shutout innings for the W against the Condors, who bought up the entire free agent market and are being rewarded with the worst record in the league
TIJ 5, POR 7 (11) – in lieu of an actual starter, AAA body Cameron Bridges starts and aches through five innings and a rain delay before running out of fizz; the pen with surgical precision blows a 5-1 lead, send another game to extras, where we – out of paws – have to use Morales, next day’s starter. At least Joel Starr hits a walkoff homer…
TIJ 1, POR 2 – in lieu of an actual starter, the Raccoons bring back all 8.50 ERA of Randy Rautenstrauch (actual name!), who of course goes 7.1 innings while trailing 1-0 before the Critters get a 2-out, 2-run, walkoff single from AAA infielder Brian Hills.

That was the WORST week of Raccoons I played in a very long time. And they even went 3-3…! Granted, there’s always bonus misery points for getting swept by the “VAN” Canadiens, because I HATE THE CANADIENS!!! … but … (moves paws around while squealing)

And then there’s the METS…… who are even WORSE!!

FIRE the front office!

FIRE Mendoza!

TRADE Senga!

TRADE Boom-Boom!

TRADE or DUMP Alvarez!

RELEASE Manaea!

RELEASE Montas!

RELEASE Helsley!

RELEASE Stanek!

RELEASE Soto (the one who knows about sliders)!

THROW Holmes into a volcano!!

SACK the entire ******* bullpen!!

Stop collecting other people’s reclamation projects and wannabe closers! Burn the entire ******* **** to the ground and start again building around the young starters. Let it be 2014 again. I don’t ******* care for these faces anymore!

…

Except for Pete.

Pete must stay.

Eight years, $240M, I don’t care. Plus incentives. And free ice. He deserves it. Pete is good.

09-01-2025, 04:24 PM	#3509
Westheim Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Germany Posts: 13,809	I am ABSOLUTELY seeing too much of this completely decrepit, useless, bottomless, spineless, feckless pitching recently. And it’s the Mets AND the Raccoons ganging up at the same time, and I just CAN’T anymore. Last Coons week I played: VAN 9, POR 1 – after a day off, 27-year-old AAA nobody Vinny Morales gets knifed in the back by his own defense, gives up four runs (two earned) before the bullpen habitually explodes VAN 5, POR 0 – Tony Gaytan (#2?) can’t get anybody out and is yanked after 3.2 innings; the difference to Manaea is that he’s young and cheap VAN 6, POR 5 (16) – Girolamo “Pizza” Pizzichini works himself up in five innings for a 4-2 lead that the bullpen dutifully blows before then delivering stellar scoreless relief in extras until we’re finally out of arms and have to throw in “ace” Nick Walla, the next day’s starter, who goes three innings before giving up the winning homer TIJ 0, POR 4 – reclamation project Alex Dominguez on regular rest in place of Walla somehow spins seven shutout innings for the W against the Condors, who bought up the entire free agent market and are being rewarded with the worst record in the league TIJ 5, POR 7 (11) – in lieu of an actual starter, AAA body Cameron Bridges starts and aches through five innings and a rain delay before running out of fizz; the pen with surgical precision blows a 5-1 lead, send another game to extras, where we – out of paws – have to use Morales, next day’s starter. At least Joel Starr hits a walkoff homer… TIJ 1, POR 2 – in lieu of an actual starter, the Raccoons bring back all 8.50 ERA of Randy Rautenstrauch (actual name!), who of course goes 7.1 innings while trailing 1-0 before the Critters get a 2-out, 2-run, walkoff single from AAA infielder Brian Hills. That was the WORST week of Raccoons I played in a very long time. And they even went 3-3…! Granted, there’s always bonus misery points for getting swept by the “VAN” Canadiens, because I HATE THE CANADIENS!!! … but … (moves paws around while squealing) And then there’s the METS…… who are even WORSE!! FIRE the front office! FIRE Mendoza! TRADE Senga! TRADE Boom-Boom! TRADE or DUMP Alvarez! RELEASE Manaea! RELEASE Montas! RELEASE Helsley! RELEASE Stanek! RELEASE Soto (the one who knows about sliders)! THROW Holmes into a volcano!! SACK the entire ***** bullpen!! Stop collecting other people’s reclamation projects and wannabe closers! Burn the entire *** to the ground and start again building around the young starters. Let it be 2014 again. I don’t ***** care for these faces anymore! … Except for Pete. Pete must stay. Eight years, $240M, I don’t care. Plus incentives. And free ice. He deserves it. Pete is good. __________________ Portland Raccoons, 92 years of excell-.... of baseball: Furballs here! 1983 * 1989 * 1991 * 1992 * 1993 * 1995 * 1996 * 2010 * 2017 * 2018 * 2019 * 2026 * 2028 * 2035 * 2037 * 2044 * 2045 * 2046 * 2047 * 2048 * 2051 * 2054 * 2055 * 2061 1 OSANAI : 2 POWELL : 7 NOMURA \| RAMOS : 8 REECE : 10 BROWN : 15 HALL : 27 FERNANDEZ : 28 CASAS : 31 CARMONA : 32 WEST : 39 TONER : 46 SAITO Resident Mets Cynic - The Mets from 1962 onwards, here.