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“He’s the One.” — Will Cuylle Wakes Up the League
A Neo-style Broadcast from the Eastern Conference Mainframe
I used to think stats were just numbers. Digits. Code. Meaningless unless you knew how to read the system.
But then I saw him.
Will Cuylle.
Age: 22.
Position: First base.
Team: New York Rangers.
Status: Most Valuable Player.
What he just did... it wasn’t baseball. It was a glitch in the system. A ripple in the code so profound the entire league paused, blinked, and asked: “Did that just happen?”
It did.
Let me show you the numbers:
.549 batting average — not just seeing the ball... becoming the ball.
.654 on-base percentage — he doesn’t reach base. He bends it toward himself.
316 hits, 65 doubles, 27 triples, 123 home runs — in 147 games.
358 RBIs. 354 runs scored.
The system wasn’t built to handle this.
He received 33 of 36 first-place votes, nearly unanimous, like the code itself voted him in. The others—Bliebernicht (3 first-place votes, 339 points), Bernabel, Couturier, Sijtsma—they’re talented, sure. But they’re still plugged in.
Cuylle? He’s something else.
"He's only going to get better," said his manager.
He's right. He’s young. Still waking up.
Still realizing what he’s capable of.
You see, Cuylle isn’t just playing the game.
He’s rewriting it.
And whether the league is ready or not...
Will Cuylle is The One.
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