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Hall of Fame Voting, with Jim Gaffigan Energy...
“Ohhhh, Hall of Fame time… fancy!”
You know what says "you really did it"? Having your plaque mounted in a room no one’s allowed to touch, next to other guys with really shiny cheeks and names your dad talks about like they're war heroes. "Back in my day, we had Hiroshi Nakayama! Now that was baseball."
So yeah, the ballots are in, they did the math — which is already too much effort — and one guy made it in. That’s right, just one. Like they’re guarding the Hall of Fame like it’s Fort Knox and every other player had the audacity to just be “pretty good.”
Hiroshi Nakayama, first year on the ballot, boom, 85.4% of the vote.
"Hot Pockets... and now, Hall of Fame plaques!"
Meanwhile everyone else is sittin’ there like, “Hey... I hit a few homers too, right?”
But the voters? "Mmmm... not historic enough."
Let’s check out some of the “Thanks for playing!” crew:
Dustin Doughty got 52.9% — so basically the voters said, "We sorta love you, but not forever."
Miguel Sanchez, a closer, 50.8% — "You did your job... sometimes."
Juan Padilla, another first baseman... 41%. And I guess Nakayama just ate all the votes. Probably took his parking spot, too.
And some of these poor guys are hanging on like it’s Survivor:
Fabião Zegri, still hanging in there on year 2! Got 21.3%, which is technically more than zero, so… yay?
Eddie Lujano is on year FOUR with just 9.1% and probably just writing “please love me” on the back of the ballot.
Then you've got the ones who got dropped — yikes.
Sam Gingerich? Outta there.
Giorgio Alejos? Gone.
Patrice Lopez? Probably didn't even vote for himself.
Look, you need 75% to get into the Hall. Seventy-five! That’s like trying to get three out of four people to agree on anything. You can’t even get 75% of Americans to agree on pizza toppings!
So congrats, Hiroshi — you’re officially a legend. Everyone else?
Well… enjoy the buffet at the alumni banquet.
“You were a professional athlete for two decades… and now you’re standing next to a cardboard cutout of Hiroshi.”
Final Thought:
Baseball's Hall of Fame is like heaven for guys with OBP over .400 and no personality scandals. And this year? They let in one guy. The rest? Better luck next ballot, slugger.
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