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CLUBBER LANG’S TAKE: PAIN DELIVERED, TIED UP, AND COMIN’ FOR MORE
PHILLIES BRING THE HURT, TIE UP SERIES WITH 4-2 SMACKDOWN OVER PIRATES
PHILADELPHIA — You step into Citizens Bank Park, you better be ready to fight. You better come with fists up and jaw tight, ‘cause Philly don’t play, and tonight, the Phillies landed every punch with bad intentions. Ask Pittsburgh.
I told you fools this wasn’t gonna be a tea party. This ain’t poetry. This is baseball like a beatdown, and the Phillies just leveled the Pirates, 4-2, to square the NLDS like a proper slugfest.
Jimmy Grubbs? That man’s got ice in his veins and fire in his soul. Seven strong innings, only two runs, barely broke a sweat. He stared down that Pittsburgh lineup like he was lookin’ at a plate of cold spaghetti. Ain’t nothin’. Just chewed ‘em up.
“I predict pain,” Grubbs didn’t say, but he lived it. Seven hits allowed, four K’s, and no fear.
Frank Smalley? He’s got lightning in his bat, baby. Triple in the 2nd, sent the crowd into orbit. That wasn’t a base hit, that was a statement. You try’n take this series? We got somethin’ to say about that.
Don’t sleep on Ruben Serrano either — man had two doubles like he was dealin’ cards in a backroom brawl. V. Brown, I. Garcia, all got in on the beatdown. Ain’t no free rides in Philly.
Now Pittsburgh? Eh. They showed a little fight. A couple runs in the 4th. But they didn’t come with the attitude. Eight hits, two runs? That ain’t enough when Clubber’s in the house. You wanna win in October? You better bring the pain, not just show up for the handshake.
“We’ll get ‘em back at home,” someone from the Pirates probably mumbled into their glove.
You better. ‘Cause next time? It’s PNC Park. Game 3. One team walks out, the other crawls.
FINAL WARNING:
Philly’s awake now. Citizens Bank is buzzin’. The gloves are off.
And this series?
IT AIN’T OVER.
IT’S WAR.
Prediction for next game?
PAIN.
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