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🎙️ Saul Goodman here, folks. And if you're not paying attention to the Dallas Stars right now? Well, then you better call me, because you clearly need legal counsel and a frontal lobotomy. Let's get into it.
Stars Deal Sin City a Losing Hand, Lead Series 3-0
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, let me present to you Exhibit A in the case of Dallas v. Vegas: Brayden Grubin, also known as “The Human Freight Train in Cleats.” The guy goes 3-for-4, belts two home runs, draws a walk, scores FOUR times, and drives in three runs. If there’s a hotter man in Nevada this week, he’s probably hiding in a sauna with a suitcase full of burner phones.
Now listen up, because this game? It was a rollercoaster, baby. Vegas jumps out to a 6-2 lead faster than you can say “double down,” and everyone in the arena’s high-fiving their Elvis impersonators. But what did I tell you about Dallas? You don’t bet against a team that fights like it’s trying to beat a RICO charge.
The Stars chipped away — a little here, a little there — like a shady accountant cooking the books. Amenzu Jabiri? The man was a walking indictment: 3-for-4, double, home run, couple of RBIs, couple of runs scored, a walk. That’s not baseball, folks. That’s racketeering efficiency.
And then… BOOM, top of the ninth, Luis Rodriguez steps in. Two strikes on him, pressure building, Vegas sweating bullets—and whaddya know? The guy laces an 0-2 fastball into the outfield like he's sneaking evidence out of a courtroom. Dallas takes the lead 9-8. Ballgame. Motion to dismiss.
Meanwhile, Vegas? Oh, they had their moments. Ivan Barbashev looked like he’d seen the inside of a batting cage before: 3-for-4, triple, dinger, three RBIs, a walk, two runs. Problem is, the rest of the team forgot there’s nine innings in a game. You can’t win on flash alone—just ask any of my former clients who thought a burner phone and a fake mustache was a long-term strategy.
So now it’s 3-0 in the series. Dallas is on the verge of sweeping this thing faster than I can settle a civil liability case. Game 4 is coming tomorrow — same bat time, same bat channel — and if Vegas doesn’t find some pitching magic, they’re gonna be hitting the casinos a lot earlier than planned.
Bottom line? Don’t mess with Texas. And if you do, you better call Saul.
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