[Westheim]

The Decade of Darkness didn’t kill the Coons, 2032 didn’t kill the Coons, but at this rate Sid Meier just goddamn might! (blushes and hides his shame behind his paws)

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None of the arbitration cases received more than a 1-year deal by the time the extensions signed were announced in November. Angel Alba got the biggest piece of pie at $1.15M for 2064. The only real issue with his raw stats were the home runs, which he had led the CL once in, but I was a bit wary of giving him a larger deal. With Jack Kozak it was right the other way round – he absolutely lived off his home runs, because he was not a great average hitter, and he had back-to-back seasons with over 120 strikeouts. If Jack Kozak was facing Angel Alba in the same division, he’d probably hit 30 homers a season. Kozak got $1M for the new season, same as Jarod Morris. Isaac McDaniel was back for $575k, but Alex Cruzado, the only free agent we seriously pondered resigning, would not be, since he was chasing a multi-year deal making more than Alba per season, and I wasn’t interested in that. The last one to sign was Marcos Arellano for $630k.

And no, Todd Oley, a pro since 2051, and proud owner of 150 major league base hits, would cease being the running gag of the player that comes back every season from AAA, again and again, and will never get claimed no matter how often he passes through waivers. Oley had made appearances for eight consecutive seasons with the Raccoons, 244 in total. This previous season had actually been his career-high in terms of games played for the Coons with 57, but his *debut* season was the one where he had gotten the most at-bats, with 138. Since age had taken the edge off his defense he was no longer useful in centerfield, and now he was just a left-handed corner outfielder with no power that was 12 years older than the newest hot **** from AAA, Malcolm Spicer. And I wonder why it takes 139 words to explain *why* Todd Oley will not be back at all…!

Tyler Riddle would end up declining salary arbitration, becoming a free agent and making the Raccoons eligible for compensation picks since he was a type A free agent. Besides Todd Oley, AAA players Armando Suriel and Joe Robertson, with stints with the Raccoons in previous years, also obtained minor league free agency.

Once the free agents had cleaned out of the roster, the Raccoons were only left with 12 pitchers, four of them starters (Elling, Alba, Fox, Morris), and eight relievers, at least some of them not safe for human consumption. There was the tire fire Jon McGinley (six blown saves and a 7-game string in August in which he allowed run(s) in six of them), professional erratics Juan Carrillo and Isaac McDaniel, the young hope-yet-to-be-trampled Jesse Dover, and then it was into the Nesbitts, Reads, Sensabaughs, and Herreras. The last four there were really only enumerated for completeness’ sake. Even the census tries to count the drug-addleds, lunatics, and vagrants of no discernible use to society.

There remained 17 position players on the roster, including four catchers (Burkart, Arellano, Lawson, Guinea), infielders Starr, Monck, Morales, Aoki, Novelo, and Gardner, and outfielders Kozak, Corral, Spicer, Campos, Valencia, Tallent, and Moreno. I won’t claim that there’s not a purposeful addition that could be made here, like the second backup infielder and some tweaking with the outfielders, but the main construction site for the winter would definitely be the pitching staff, and I sure as heck was hoping we could get there without having to trade from our LEAGUE LEADING OFFENSE.

Nope, not tired of beating that drum yet. When it happens only once every 30 years, you get bonus beats.

For the pitching staff, hope was on the horizon, and it spoke Japanese from birth, as among the small pawful of potentially useful Asian immigrants to the league was 27-year-old right-hander Shoma Nakayama, who looked like the controlled finesse groundballer the Raccoons would love to add to the roster. The last few Japanese pitcher additions had all been more or less busts (there was a Tetsu Kurihara still rotting on the Alley Cats’ roster), but this time it would surely be different, right? Right?

The Raccoons had about $12M of budget space, which would surely buy them a Nakayama and then some, but we still had to be prudent about it. There was no real dead weight on the roster at least. The three biggest contracts were those of Elling ($7M), Monck ($5M), and Burkart ($4M), followed by a couple of $2.5M’s to Starr and Fox. (tries to cover the bottom end of the top 10 with three relievers sucking up $6.3M for mostly nothing) Yes, it’s McGinley, Carrillo, and Kurihara, the latter of whom some door knob had signed for 3-yr, $6M last winter.

But with Nakayama it would totally be different!

There was also a 2-time and current Pitcher of the Year that was a free agent as Ricardo Montoya’s time with the Warriors ended after 12 years in the Bigs together. He had just won the ERA title in the FL (also for the second time) and he had a wipeout combo of a 99mph fastball and an unhittable knuckle curve. The issues were the degraded changeup for a third pitch and that his stamina was rated as a *5*. He only pitched 185 innings in 31 starts this season, and he was going to cost an absurd amount of dosh for that. The only argument I could make besides “but they’d be the best 185 innings you’d get on *this* roster” was that he was for odd reasons NOT a type A free agent, but a type B, which would mean we wouldn’t **** away our #19 pick by signing him. But if you sign the right-handed Montoya, you better have a guy behind him that covers that sixth and seventh inning well, perhaps a lefty. For his career, the 34-year-old Montoya was 160-66 with a 2.71 ERA and 2,153 strikeouts in 2,055 innings. He had won three strikeout crowns in the FL, but none in this decade. He had led the FL in the best HR/9 and BB/9 rates in ’64 as well.

In short, Montoya was no walks, no bombs, no runs, no nonsense, but also five innings and done. And for that he wanted $21M over three years.

(blows bigly, making Honeypaws’ whiskers flutter)

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October 27 – ATL SP Jose Rosa, age 28, retires from the game after suffering complications with his torn biceps. Rosa pitched to a 21-19 record in 63 starts in the majors, with a 4.15 ERA.
November 5 – The Thunder acquire catcher Ramon Lopez (.234, 9 HR, 30 RBI) from the Rebels for a pair of prospects.
November 20 – The Crusaders trade for the Warriors’ 3B/SS Ben Wilken (.253, 39 HR, 293 RBI), parting with OF/2B Jesus Alvarez (.247, 17 HR, 75 RBI) and a prospect.

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2064 ABL AWARDS

Players of the Year: DAL CF Tyler Wharton (.365, 28 HR, 117 RBI) and MIL 2B/SS Fidel Carrera (.309, 30 HR, 93 RBI)
Pitchers of the Year: SFW SP Ricardo Montoya (18-5, 2.23 ERA) and BOS SP Jason Brenize (14-7, 1.80 ERA)
Rookies of the Year: SAC RF/LF/1B Juan de Luna (.275, 22 HR, 73 RBI) and VAN OF Rick Atkins (.317, 18 HR, 101 RBI)
Relievers of the Year: SFW CL Lorenzo Lucatero (4-1, 1.31 ERA, 47 SV) and ATL CL Erik Swain (2-1, 1.02 ERA, 23 SV)
Platinum Sticks (FL): P TOP Justin Kent – C NAS David Johnson – 1B NAS Kris DiPrimio – 2B WAS Angelo Flores – 3B TOP Alex de los Santos – SS WAS Ramon Archuleta – LF DAL Chad Pritchett – CF DAL Tyler Wharton – RF NAS Austin Gordon
Platinum Sticks (CL): P POR Tyler Riddle – C MIL Tommy Guitreau – 1B OCT Ian Stone – 2B MIL Fidel Carrera – 3B LVA Alex Alfaro – SS TIJ Casey Ramsey – LF BOS Steve Humphries – CF BOS Eddie Marcotte – RF ATL Jake Evans
Gold Gloves (FL): P NAS Preston Young – C SAL Steve Preston – 1B PIT Mike Velazquez – 2B NAS Rafael Roldan – 3B DAL Xavier Reyes – SS RIC Jason Turner – LF NAS Sean McLaughlin – CF DAL Tyler Wharton – RF SAC Juan de Luna
Gold Gloves (CL): P NYC Erik Lee – C TIJ Mike Brann – 1B ATL Jose Campos – 2B LVA Mike Roberts – 3B OCT Alberto Bonilla – SS CHA Trent Taylor – LF BOS Steve Humphries – CF OCT Rick Miles – RF ATL Jake Evans

If the golden FL battery had a love child named Preston Preston, I would be morally obligated to sign him and have him bat cleanup. While pitching. Dei ludi pilae et basium volunt.

It will also be the only way for me to cope with the way Rich Monck got absolutely snuffed! I am – I am without words!! (huffs and puffs)