[pauwoo]

@ Phoenix Coyotes (66-72, .478, 5th NL West)
The Phoenix Coyotes, those bastions of burnt orange and eggplant purple, have seen much, much better days… This season, despite boasting a well-built, capable, and, at times, mighty offense, currently ranked 4th in the NL, they’ve been held back by their pitching, ranked a dreadful 10th overall, with 12th place rankings in FIP and pWAR. There’s not a recipe for success in the world that could be conjured up from the ingredients they’ve stocked in their pantry – no, this season is a bust, a poorly conceived dinner special using left over prime rib and sausage gravy from the breakfast service. There servers abrupt, presenting themselves in disheveled, wrinkled attire, the prep cooks devoid of knife skills, and their chef’s, to the degree that they have any of those on the line, wouldn’t know a mid-rare piece of beef if Gordan Ramsey himself was standing next to them, berating there poor cooking acumen, while trying to teach them to be culinarily mid.

Note: I’m unclear if I’ve used culinarily correctly there, but, whatever, you get the gist…

Projected pitching matchups, our pitchers listed first:
RHP N. Barilla (7-6, 3.02) vs LHP R. Luna (8-11, 4.81)
RHP W. Macomber (12-9, 3.09) vs RHP K. Voll (9-8, 4.10)
RHP M. Holman (6-11, 3.71) vs RHP T. Deering (3-0, 3.15)

#139: Loss, 6-11… Privately, while watching this game from the Press Box, I wondered to myself what the boys were thinking about on our flight into town from Charlotte… and, the only conclusion I found was that it sure as hell wasn’t baseball. Prior to this game, I didn’t know it was possible to get crushed by a club that committed 4 fielding flubs, but, here we are… our pitching, particularly our Starter, Norman Barilla, was dismantled, taken apart, and sold off for parts, and our offense, while solid in the overall scheme of things, couldn’t match the output of the Coyotes as we left 13 of our guys stranded while crossing the plate 6 times as a club. Leo Bullock and Micky Austin each put one out, and we burgled two bags as a club, including Fukumoto with number 41, but, again, we weren’t drinking what they were and as a result were left in the dust… here they did their best roadrunner impression despite so clearly being a coyote.

#140: Win, 5-1… back at it like a crack addict… we’d avoid dropping our fourth tilt in a row on the back of a workmanlike performance where our 3-run top of the 9th effected ended this one as SP William Macomber gave us 8-innings of 5-hit, 1 earned filthiness, providing our offense plenty of room to breathe and get the job done. There two-baggers on the day, including a 2-run double for Simon Harris during that fateful 7th frame, saw Blanco Whitt lay down the tastiest sac bunt, and crafted a rally killing, Fukumoto-Miyake-Marino double play during the bottom of the 9th that snuffed out these coyotes for good. Dynamite not required.

#141: Loss, 4-12… Oof. This was hurtful, mean, and altogether uncalled for. To be treated like this, on the road, in Phoenix, with no attempt to provide customer service, to cater to our, the customer’s needs… it’s tragic. Where should I begin with this recap? How about nowhere, I mean, what would be the point – setting my team up as the butt of the joke? Purposefully demeaning this loose collection of stiffs I’ve assembled in Portland, Oregon? You’re right, I should – I should lambast them, skewer them in the press, call their skills into question, their desire, their professionalism. But I won’t. That’s what the plane ride home is for – I’ll have a captive audience, there’ll be nowhere to run, no corner to hide in as they wipe away their tears… buncha lollygaggers you ask me.

Record: 77-64, .542, 3rd AL West
Up Next: We'll head back to Pendleton Park where the Los Angeles Leopards will be anxiously awaiting our arrival.