[Westheim]

Raccoons (69-67) @ Crusaders (69-66) – September 4-7, 2056

Make or Break Week began with a 4-game set in New York, where the Crusaders were scoring the most runs in the CL and were giving up almost as many, eighth in runs allowed in the league. It still worked out for a +65 run differential (Coons: +18), and it worked out to a slight 6-5 edge in the season series for them. Their main problem was their bullpen, but you had to get to that first. Omar Sanchez was on the DL, tearing a hole into the lineup and the infield all at once.

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (11-12, 3.38 ERA) vs. Austin Guastella (5-6, 4.48 ERA)
Kyle Brobeck (6-6, 4.10 ERA) vs. Kyle Turay (6-11, 4.43 ERA)
Sean Sweeton (12-8, 2.87 ERA) vs. Jose Ortega (13-6, 3.11 ERA)
He Shui (13-8, 3.87 ERA) vs. Ben Seiter (12-7, 3.38 ERA)

Four right-handed pitchers coming up here.

Game 1
POR: RF Callaia – SS Lavorano – LF Kirkwood – CF Puckeridge – 1B Ramsay – 3B Venegas – 2B Allred – C M. Chavez – P Taki
NYC: LF S. Moore – SS Z. Suggs – 1B Sevilla – RF C. Williams – 2B E. Stevens – C Seidman – CF Nork – P Guastella – 3B Adame

Batting the pitcher eighth? What blasphemy!! (checks the advanced lineups with Brobeck batting fifth provisionally on Tuesday) The Raccoons punished the New Yorkers with a quick run as Lonzo tripled to right-center in the first inning and was plated with Kirkwood’s grounder. The Crusaders got a leadoff double from Erik Stevens into the leftfield corner in the second inning, but Mike Seidman struck out and Dan Nork grounded out, which meant they brought the pitcher up with the runner on third base. Hah-hah, sucks for them! One strike, two strikes, thr-….ashed to right-center for an RBI double and we were tied. (looks sour)

Even worse, Guastella struck out to end the next inning, which meant the Crusaders tore Taki a new one. The bases loaded up slowly but surely, and it was Seidman to empty them with a bases-clearing double over the head of Pucks. Nork singled home the catcher and the score was 5-1 all of a sudden, and it remained 5-1 as long as Taki pitched, which was in the end only five innings. Marcos Chavez opened the top 6th with a double, but Solorzano pinch-hit and grounded out. Callaia singled to put runners on the corners, and Lonzo came through with an RBI double to left, 5-2. The tying run thus came to the plate with Kirkwood, who fanned, then Pucks, who rolled over to Zach Suggs, which sugged…

Colby Bowen had a clean sixth, then allowed a 1-out single to Suggs and a plunk to Raul Sevilla in the bottom 7th. Tanizaki replaced him, walked the bags full, and allowed an RBI single to Mario Villa before Justin Reese grounded into a double play to kill the inning. Kirkwood posted another K with Lonzo on second base in the eighth, then after Lonzo singled (and thus was a bomb away from the cycle, albeit a little late) and stole his 44th base of the season. Guastella kept pitching into the ninth inning, and was only replaced with struggling lefty Ben Lussier after he allowed singles to Pucks and Caballero, the latter batting for Venegas. Espinoza hit for Ryan Allred against the lefty, but found his way to Suggs for the game-ending double play. 6-2 Crusaders. Lavorano 3-4, 3B, 2B, RBI; Caballero (PH) 1-1;

Game 2
POR: RF Callaia – SS Lavorano – LF Kirkwood – 1B Ramsay – P Brobeck – CF Royer – 2B Allred – C Fiore – 3B Anderson
NYC: LF S. Moore – SS Z. Suggs – 1B Sevilla – RF C. Williams – 2B E. Stevens – CF Mata – C Reese – P Turay – 3B Adame

The Raccoons had another hapless first run through the lineup, while Brobeck made it to Alex Adame in the bottom 3rd before things started to happen. Adame hit a 1-out single, and a walk to Scott Moore started to create actual trouble. The runners pulled off a double steal, a run scored on Suggs’ grounder, which sugged, and then Sevilla singled home Moore for more. Chad Williams grounded out to Allred, ending the inning after all. The Coons were on one hit through four innings, which did not include hit batsmen, of whom they had two in the fourth inning alone. Lonzo was nicked and stole second, and Ramsay was plunked onto the open base behind him with two outs, and then Brobeck softly grounded out to Erik Stevens to send everybody limping back to the dugout. The fourth was uneventful, and so was the fifth, minus the rain that started after the Raccoons were turned away in 1-2-3 fashion. The rain got heavier and heavier, and while Richard Anderson stepped to the plate in the sixth inning and saw two pitches from Turay, the umpires then pulled the plug and the game went to a rain delay.

And from that rain delay it didn’t come back. It rained all night, but it wasn’t like we wouldn’t be in town on Wednesday afternoon. Nevertheless, after two hours under a rain delay, the umps declared the game official, no matter how hard I banged on their door, hollering obscenities. 2-0 Crusaders.

Gaudencio Callaia hit a single to begin the game. That was our entire offense (give or take Lonzo sweeping #45).

We were now down to 69-69, which sounded like some real filth, but still only four games back from the damn Elks.

Game 3
POR: RF Callaia – SS Lavorano – LF Caballero – 1B Puckeridge – 3B Venegas – CF Solorzano – 2B Allred – C Stanton – P Sweeton
NYC: LF S. Moore – SS Z. Suggs – 1B Sevilla – RF C. Williams – CF Pfeifer – 2B E. Stevens – C Seidman – P J. Ortega – 3B D. Wagner

Lonzo was now stealing a base a day, taking one after drawing a walk (!) in the first inning. He was stranded on second base. Sweeton was a lot of work for the defense, offering leadoff walks in the first two innings – of which Mike Pfeifer in the bottom 2nd came around to score on Ortega’s sac fly – and then two singles to begin the bottom 3rd. Allred turned 4-6-3 double plays in both the first and third innings to cull some of the excess base runners, but the Crusaders got two singles from Seidman and Moore in the fourth inning, and a wild pitch from Sweeton, to take their lead to 2-0 before Suggs popped out to Pucks to leave at least Moore stranded.

Sweeton came apart for good in the fifth inning. He walked two, then gave up hits to Stevens and Seidman to get two more runs across. Ortega bunted the remaining runners into scoring position for the second out of the inning, but Darrell Wagner faced Tanizaki and flew out to Solorzano in center. The Coons finally reached the bloody scoreboard with a Pucks homer in the sixth inning, after which Venegas homered. Solorzano’s groundout moved Venegas to third base, and Ryan Allred’s fly to left made Venegas bid for home, and Scott Moore’s nice and accurate throw made him the third out of the inning at the dish. The Crusaders also sucked hard in the last three innings, getting seven runners on base against the wonky Critters pen, and plating nobody. Struggling Mike Lane parked two on base in the bottom 7th before getting rescued with a K to Moore from Eloy Sencion, while Bravo in the eighth packed the bags himself and as the hopeless case he was was then left to his own devices, but wiggled out with a pop by Stevens and Justin Reese’s groundout, stranding all three. Lussier didn’t even let anybody on base in the ninth inning, retiring Royer, Anderson, and Stanton in order. 4-1 Crusaders. Kirkwood (PH) 1-1;

Blech.

Matt Waters was hurried back from his AAA rehab a few days earlier than planned to try and salvage ANYTHING. Arturo Bribiesca was moved to the 60-day DL to get Waters back on the 40-man roster.

Game 4
POR: RF Callaia – SS Lavorano – LF Kirkwood – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – CF Royer – 3B Venegas – C Fiore – P Shui
NYC: CF Pfeifer – SS Z. Suggs – 1B Sevilla – 2B Buss – LF S. Moore – RF C. Williams – C Seidman – P Seiter – 3B Adame

I think it would sound less terrible if we called Thursday’s game a pitchers’ duel, because the Raccoons were still not doing ******** anything, but at least Shui kept the Crusaders close for a reasonable amount of time. The Coons had three hits through six innings. Lonzo hit a single. Royer had an infield single. Venegas had the best chance with a leadoff double. None of the three bums even reached third base, and Lonzo was doubled off by Kirkwood altogether. The Crusaders went up 1-0 in the fourth when they got a leadoff double from Zach Suggs, which sugged, and Jeff Buss singled him home. Raul Sevilla unloaded a solo homer in the sixth to make that 2-0. (sigh) Royer hit a 2-out single in the seventh and stole his 24th base of the year, but was also left stranded by Venegas. Chad Williams replied with a leadoff jack after the stretch, as the game slowly started to elude Shui. He was hit for with Espinoza in the eighth inning, in which Seiter sat the suckers down 1-2-3. Alex Rios then got smothered in the bottom 8th, not that it mattered anymore. Single, walk, double steal, two RBI groundouts, and then another walk – he was bidding for assignment to the nearest derelict brownstone filled to the brim with used syringes. Adam Harris replaced him, walked Williams, and then FINALLY RETIRED A ******* BATTER, getting Justin Reese to pop out on an 0-2 pitch, which even lowered his ERA from ******* INFINITE all the way down to 81.00 … Seiter went for the shutout, but allowed hits to Pucks and Waters in the ninth inning, and then had the shutout blown up by Ramsay’s sac fly to center. Royer ended the game with a groundball after that. 5-1 Crusaders. Puckeridge (PH) 1-1; Royer 2-4;

(heavy breathing)

The Titans took three of four from the damn Elks, which meant we were now 4 1/2 games out of first place – but behind the Crusaders, who had a half-game lead, but would now start to face teams again that would actually have a pulse again.

Raccoons (69-71) vs. Canadiens (73-67) – September 8-10, 2056

The guy in me that was eaten alive by hatred mused that at least we got swept by New York, and now still had a chance to stumble up the equally incompetent Elks to help the Crusaders into the playoffs rather than the stinking ELKS. I had yet to formulate a plan however, as to how we wanted to beat the Elks without scoring a run. They came in for the weekend set fourth in runs scored (Coons: 11th and sinking) and tied for seventh in runs scored. We had already taken the season series, somehow, 10-5. This was the last time we’d have to endure the stench. They had lost Prince Gates this week, and Damian Moreno had also left Wednesday’s game with an injury and was in limbo as of Friday morning. Those were their only injuries.

Projected matchups:
Craig Kniep (8-10, 3.57 ERA) vs. Jesse Lausch (4-6, 3.19 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (11-13, 3.52 ERA) vs. Gabriel Casanova (2-3, 8.14 ERA)
Kyle Brobeck (6-7, 4.08 ERA) vs. Anton Jesus (12-11, 3.74 ERA)

Casanova would be the only southpaw opposition this week.

Game 1
VAN: RF K. Hawkins – C Cass – 1B Wheeler – CF Taniguchi – LF Magnussen – SS Leitch – 2B Mooney – 3B Ashley – P Lausch
POR: RF Callaia – SS Lavorano – LF Kirkwood – 2B Waters – CF Caballero – 1B Puckeridge – C Fiore – 3B Espinoza – P Kniep

Portland took a lead in the first inning, which felt awkward, as Lausch walked Callaia, and while Lonzo popped out, Kirkwood buried a ball in the gap for an RBI triple and then scored on Waters’ sac fly. Kirkwood’s was the only hit for the Critters the first time through, while Kniep looked like he had regressed three steps between starts again. He walked four batters in the first four innings, the fourth of which (Adam Magnussen) came around to score when Jason Ashley hit a 2-run homer in the fourth to tie the ballgame.

The Elks started the fifth with singles from Kyle Hawkins and Tyler Cass, but then had Jeff Wheeler hit into a double play. But they had two on base again to start the sixth when Magnussen singled and Alan Leitch drew another walk. Mark Mooney sacrificed the runners into scoring position, and Ashley’s grounder up the middle would have brought in the go-ahead run anyway, but was also bungled for an error by Lonzo. Lausch in turn popped out on a bad bunt and Hawkins grounded out, so the Elks didn’t actually get any extra runs out of it. That was the end of the game for Kniep, while maybe Kirkwood’s single to left-center in the bottom 6th would be the start of a Raccoons rally, given that it was their first base hit since Kirkwood’s triple in the first inning. But no, Matt Waters grounded out calmly, and that ended the inning.

Kellen Lanning put Caballero on to begin the bottom 7th, but he got doubled off by Pucks. Callaia eked out a 2-out single in the eighth, but Lonzo couldn’t get the ball past the infielders. It was still a 3-2 deficit against Bernardino Risso in the bottom 9th, thanks to scoreless relief from Lane, Rios, and Lillis, but Kirkwood, Waters, and Caballero disappeared in order, with strikeouts to the last two. 3-2 Canadiens. Kirkwood 2-4, 3B, RBI;

(dials up somebody on his old black-lacquered rotary phone, then waits as it toots audibly) Yes, hullo? Is this the United Nations? – I want to report a crime against humanity! – Yes, yes, terrible. Listen, I will send you some box scores of the useless Raccoons and then we need to… hello? Hello? … Hello??

Game 2
VAN: 1B Wheeler – SS Mullen – C Waker – CF D. Moreno – RF K. Hawkins – LF Magnussen – 2B R. Price – 3B Ashley – P Casanova
POR: 3B Venegas – SS Lavorano – LF Kirkwood – CF Caballero – RF Puckeridge – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – C M. Chavez – P Taki

Seisaku Taki lasted three innings on Saturday, which was a combination of sucking with command and also a 70-minute rain delay in the third inning after he had just offered a leadoff walk to Casanova. 2-out singles by Tristan Waker and Damian Moreno would bring in that runner when play resumed, both came on 3-2 pitches, and Taki needed 73 pitches in all to complete three innings with a pop by Kyle Hawkins, and wasn’t asked back afterwards. Callaia batted for him to lead off the bottom 3rd, and the Raccoons would go down in order against Casanova, he of the 8.14 ERA.

It got better. Adam Harris got the ball for the fourth inning. Magnussen popped to short on a 1-2 pitch, and for the second time Lonzo made an error behind Harris, which didn’t bode well for the future statistically, dropping the ball for a free leadoff man on base for the damn Elks. That runner soon reached second with a walk to Rick Price, but Ashley at least struck out and the pitcher was up. Casanova swung away and hit a floater to left that dinked in front of Kirkwood, then scooted through his legs for another error while Magnussen scored, and the other two reached scoring position. Exit the cursed Harris, enter Tanizaki. Jeff Wheeler giggled, singled to right, and it was 4-0. A Waker single with two outs extended the score to 5-0.

Both teams loaded the bases in the fifth inning, while I was already sucking on the neck of a bottle of Capt’n Coma, and neither team scored. Ricky Herrera somehow evaded destruction after a leadoff single to Hawkins and then two walks to Magnussen and Ashley, but Casanova whiffed and Wheeler grounded out to first. Casanova then started the bottom 5th with walks to Waters and Rams, Espinoza singled in the #9 hole, and with the bass loaded, Venegas flew out to right, Waters went for home – and was thrown out. And while I tried my best, I just couldn’t suck as hard on that bottle as the little skunks did down on the field…

The season was over at this point. The Raccoons threw in the towel, brought in Ryan Wade, who had been called up on September 1 and so far had only seen the team tumble from loss to loss. He was in for long relief, and he’d be worked into the rotation for a few odd starts in the final futile few weeks. Wade pitched the game to conclusion… which was two innings, which was… (counts on all claws) … No, the baseball gods had mercy, or they just cried too much laughing, because it started to rain (again) as soon as Wade took the mound, and rained for two innings until Wade had logged six outs and the Raccoons were still getting choked by Casanova, who thus got a 3-hit shutout. 5-0 Canadiens. Waters 0-0, 2 BB; Espinoza (PH) 1-1; Wade 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

No harassing the umpires after this one.

Because now I was dead inside.

Game 3
VAN: 1B Wheeler – SS Mullen – C Waker – CF D. Moreno – RF K. Hawkins – LF Magnussen – 2B R. Price – 3B Ashley – P A. Jesus
POR: RF Callaia – SS Lavorano – LF Kirkwood – 2B Waters – CF Caballero – P Brobeck – 1B Puckeridge – 3B Venegas – C Fiore

The Elks got four hits off Brobeck in the first inning, but because Jeff Wheeler was caught stealing rather quickly after beginning the game with a base hit, they amounted to only one run in the inning. They got another run in the second inning on a 2-out single by Dan Mullen after Brobeck had walked a pair. It never got any better with Brobeck in this game as he was slapped from wall to wall by the Elks for six hits and five walks through five innings, then a Rick Price single, an Ashley double, and finally, a 2-out, 2-run triple to right-center by Jeff Wheeler. Colby Bowen ended the dismal inning, but still not my dismal existence. The pitcher’s spot (#6) came up after the Raccoons began the bottom 6th with three straight singles off Anton Jesus, and Caballero actually plated Kirkwood for a RUN. A RUN!! … Ramsay batted for Bowen because I figured a double play would put me out of my misery sooner, but Rams socked a 2-run double to left, advanced on Venegas’ single, and then went from third base when Fiore flew out to center. Moreno’s throw was late, and Rams scored to even the score at four. Callaia then grounded out.

Eloy Sencion, after a string of strong outings, then completely hit the sack in the top of the seventh inning, walked a pair, and fell behind when Magnussen singled home Moreno, at which point I was well beyond caring. The Coons went on to use Lane and Walters in the last two innings despite not having a lead, or even a tie, and so no use for them, but Walters was caught on camera picking his pokey black nose out in the pen on Friday and it was just a very bad look. It was then Risso again in the bottom 9th, with Venegas leading off in a 5-4 game. He struck out. Espinoza struck out. Callaia fell to two strikes aaaaaand – hit a homer.

Lonzo’s groundout extended the pain into extras with Tanizaki on the hill. Both teams went down in order in the tenth inning, while the 11th inning – and Tanizaki’s second, started with a leadoff double into the leftfield corner by Dan Mullen, who then scored on two productive groundouts. The Raccoons faced Hyuma Hitomi in the bottom 11th. Rams led off in the #6 spot, but grounded out. Matt Stanton singled to left-center, then advanced his tying-run bum to second base on Venegas’ groundout, while Solorzano batted for Tanizaki aaaand… grounded out. 6-5 Canadiens. Callaia 2-5, HR, RBI; Ramsay (PH) 1-3, 2B, 2 RBI; Stanton 1-1; Venegas 2-5;

In other news

September 4 – The Loggers beat the Titans, 12-11 in 10 innings. MIL RF/LF Ryan Bishton (.290, 5 HR, 27 RBI) ends a seesaw affair with a walkoff single.
September 4 – The Cyclones walk off against the Capitals, 1-0 in regulation, through no making of their own. WAS MR Mike Lynn (5-4, 3.00 ERA, 2 SV) hits Stephen Medlock (.295, 9 HR, 63 RBI), Gabriel Keller (.306, 2 HR, 22 RBI) reaches on an error, Rick Colwill (.327, 11 HR, 53 RBI) walks, and then Lynn throws a wild pitch to bring Medlock across.
September 5 – RIC SP Pablo Paez (8-8, 3.63 ERA) is expected to miss the rest of the season with a case of elbow inflammation.
September 6 – OCT 3B/SS/RF Ed Soberanes (.282, 15 HR, 65 RBI) puts out two hits in a 10-5 win over the Condors, including the 2,000th of his career, a double off Condors right-hander Ivan Ornelas (5-4, 5.11 ERA, 18 SV).
September 6 – Acute elbow soreness ends the season of VAN INF Prince Gates (.296, 11 HR, 63 RBI).
September 6 – LVA 1B/RF/LF Aubrey Austin (.297, 25 HR, 80 RBI) faces two weeks on the DL with a mild case of shoulder inflammation.
September 8 – The season of SAC 3B/2B Ronnie Thompson (.245, 0 HR, 36 RBI) ends with a broken kneecap.

FL Player of the Week: DAL 3B/1B Dan Sandoval (.273, 14 HR, 72 RBI), powering .400 (8-20) with 4 HR, 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL 1B Dave Robles (.239, 18 HR, 76 RBI), hitting .520 (13-25) with 2 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I would tell you all about how Make or Break Week went, but I am still picking splinters out of my snout, and the only thing that I still have on my mind is murder.

11 runs scored. Five of those on Sunday, just to rally out of a hole, and then lose in extras without getting a single paw, let alone four, on base. I’d go into more detail, but the dictionary is seriously lacking appropriate words right now…

Next week: Loggers, Condors. And very likely more sadness.

Is it even worth it going over the pennant chase data?

VAN (76-67) – NYC (4), BOS (3), CHA (3), IND (3), LVA (3), MIL (3) – .488 – 42.8% (-18.1%)
NYC (75-67) – IND (4), VAN (4), BOS (3), OCT (3), POR (3), TIJ (3) – .482 – 57.1% (+33.0%)
POR (69-74) – MIL (4), BOS (3), IND (3), NYC (3), OCT (3), TIJ (3) – .469 – 0.0% (-14.7%)
BOS (69-75) – ATL (3), MIL (3), NYC (3), POR (3), SFB (3), VAN (3) – .508 – 0.1% (-0.3%)

Fun Fact: The Raccoons lost two rain-shortened games this week.

What, do you have anything better?