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Here's my pitching statistics in html format put into ChatGPT. Now I need to stop as it's a rabbit hole. Making html outputs that give context to standings, team performance, league goings-on, personalities, stats, staff members, etc. could really generate great summaries manually for those that have Chat GPT - and esp. those that have threads following their league.
Provide a sarcastic and clever article on the performance of the 1930 Boston Red Sox pitching staff as it might appear from a cocky sportswriter in the style of a local newspaper sports section in 1930.
Major League Baseball
BOSTON RED SOX
BASIC PITCHING STATS REPORT - SPLIT: NONE
09/04/1930
Boston Red Sox
Name W L SV ERA G GS IP HA R ER HR BB K WHIP OAVG BABIP WAR
Lerton Pinto RP 0 0 0 0.00 1 0 1.0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.00 .000 .000 0.0
George Lowe RP 0 0 0 0.00 3 0 2.0 0 0 0 0 2 1 1.00 .000 .000 -0.0
Ray Kolp CL 0 0 0 0.00 1 0 0.2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.00 .000 .000 0.1
Kewpie Pennington RP 1 0 0 3.46 4 0 13.0 12 5 5 0 8 2 1.54 .240 .245 -0.0
Dutch Ulrich SP 8 2 12 3.77 63 2 114.2 135 54 48 6 24 30 1.39 .290 .297 1.3
Grier Friday RP 0 0 0 4.13 11 0 28.1 27 13 13 0 11 8 1.34 .248 .262 0.3
Spades Wood SP 8 6 0 4.40 23 22 153.1 159 94 75 9 86 64 1.60 .263 .281 1.3
Bobby Burke SP 9 16 0 4.59 38 33 215.2 267 134 110 7 96 82 1.68 .305 .329 3.4
Art Herring SP 2 6 0 4.75 10 5 41.2 56 27 22 1 17 9 1.75 .318 .325 0.5
Wayland Dean SP 1 1 0 4.85 2 2 13.0 17 7 7 1 4 3 1.62 .327 .333 0.1
Happy Foreman RP 2 1 0 4.86 12 4 37.0 48 22 20 2 10 5 1.57 .316 .315 0.3
Freddie Fitzsimmons SP 12 18 1 4.89 44 32 257.2 320 168 140 22 70 74 1.51 .302 .307 2.7
Frank Bennett RP 0 2 0 5.01 12 0 23.1 26 13 13 2 11 2 1.59 .283 .273 -0.2
James Edwards RP 0 1 0 5.04 10 0 25.0 30 17 14 1 14 6 1.76 .294 .305 -0.1
Waite Hoyt SP 5 19 2 6.03 36 21 168.2 230 127 113 9 66 41 1.75 .325 .333 1.6
Frank Bushey RP 3 2 0 6.06 7 0 16.1 27 14 11 0 11 4 2.33 .370 .391 -0.1
Jim Roberts RP 0 0 0 7.53 8 0 14.1 21 15 12 1 12 4 2.30 .328 .333 -0.2
Roy Parmelee SP 0 6 0 10.64 11 10 34.2 50 45 41 2 41 20 2.62 .340 .372 -0.4
Ken Penner RP 0 0 0 12.00 1 0 3.0 3 4 4 0 3 1 2.00 .273 .300 -0.0
ChatGPT
"Pitching Staff's Performance: A Comedy of Errors"
In what can only be described as a delightful carnival of wild pitches, the 1930 Boston Red Sox pitching staff has proven to be a spectacle worth watching. With their uncanny ability to serve up home runs like a generous grandma dishing out cookies, this group of hurlers has left fans in awe—of their inability to keep the ball in the park, that is.
Let's start with the "star" of the show, Dutch Ulrich. Oh, Dutch, where do we begin? With an ERA of 3.77, he's managed to rack up a whopping 8 wins and 12 saves. But don't let those numbers fool you; he's more unpredictable than a weather vane in a tornado. One day he's lights out, the next he's serving up batting practice. Consistency? Nah, who needs it?
And then we have the enigmatic duo of Spades Wood and Bobby Burke. These two have mastered the art of giving up hits and runs with flair. Wood boasts an ERA of 4.40, while Burke takes it up a notch with a 4.59 ERA. It's like they're competing for the title of "King of the Mediocre." Bravo, gentlemen, bravo.
But let's not forget about our resident strikeout machine, Roy Parmelee. With an ERA of 10.64 and a winless streak that would make a drought jealous, Parmelee has turned every outing into a batting practice bonanza. It's as if he's on a mission to break every record in the book for futility. Keep swinging for the fences, Roy!
Now, I must give credit where credit is due. Lerton Pinto, George Lowe, and Ray Kolp have yet to give up a single run this season. Yes, you heard that right—zero runs. Of course, that's because they've combined for a grand total of 1.2 innings pitched. A round of applause for our masterful experts in the art of short-lived appearances.
In conclusion, the 1930 Boston Red Sox pitching staff has provided fans with an unforgettable display of incompetence. From their generous distribution of gopher balls to their uncanny ability to turn wins into losses, this group has truly created a spectacle for the ages. So, grab your popcorn, folks, because you never know what kind of circus act they'll deliver next.
Disclaimer: This article is intended for entertainment purposes only and is not meant to be taken seriously. Remember, it's all in good fun!
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