[Westheim]

All Star Game

The CL defeats the FL in the annual All Star Game, 6-3, with the difference being a 3-run home run by Oklahoma’s David Worthington in the seventh inning, and for which he is named MVP of the game. The shot comes off Wolves reliever James Murdock.

For Portland, Jason Wheatley pitches an inning and is whacked for four hits and two runs, while Alan Puckeridge starts the game in rightfield, but goes only 1-for-4 with little excitement. Seisaku Taki did not pitch.

Raccoons (51-37) vs. Loggers (40-49) – July 16-19, 2053

The Raccoons led the season series 5-3 as the Loggers came to Portland for the return leg of the customary four-and-four in early July. They ranked in the bottom four in runs scored and runs allowed, and their bullpen was the second-worst in the league, steadily approaching that 5 mark for bullpen ERA.

Projected matchups:
Victor Salcido (7-4, 3.56 ERA) vs. Angelo Munoz (5-6, 3.99 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (9-5, 2.45 ERA) vs. Josh Costello (8-6, 4.81 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (7-4, 2.36 ERA) vs. John Morrill (5-6, 3.74 ERA)
Kyle Brobeck (3-2, 3.98 ERA) vs. Noah Hollis (5-7, 4.39 ERA)

We expected only right-handers in this series.

And the Loggers were not the only visitors in town. The Raccoons had festivities planned for Saturday – a number retirement ceremony! No big brass was present as of game time, Thursday, but Nick Valdes was expected to descend and wreak havoc on Friday.

Game 1
MIL: LF Pigman – 2B R. Lopez – SS Z. Suggs – CF Steinbacher – RF Callaia – 1B Haracz – C C. Thomas – 3B J. Rodriguez – P A. Munoz
POR: RF Puckeridge – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – LF Crum – C Gowin – 3B Crispin – CF Perez – P Salcido

Perhaps most perturbed about the busy weekend was Maud, who kept wiping isolated spots with a sponge, and also kept hissing at Slappy and me to ******* use a coaster for our bottles on the table. It wasn’t like Maud to use the term “*******”, so we wisely obliged after the third admonishment. Salcido didn’t, progressively regressing to his 2052 form, which was not great news exactly. The Loggers scalded him for three hits, three walks, and three runs in the second inning, as he had neither control nor stuff available, and was getting spanked accordingly, failing to retire any of the first four batters in the inning, starting with Gaudencio Callaia. While Salcido hit a single in the bottom 3rd, he also gave up three more singles in the fourth inning to Munoz (…), Ricky Lopez, and Zach Suggs, which sugged, but at least Ken Crum threw out Munoz at home plate as he tried to score from second base on Suggs’ single, and the Loggers wouldn’t tack on to their 3-0 lead once Phil Steinbacher went down on strikes.

Lonzo reached to begin the bottom 4th, but was forced out by Waters. Ken Crum’s triple got the Coons on the board, though, and then scored on a wild pitch, but then Salcido offered two more walks and a run in the fifth inning, falling behind 4-2, and wasn’t invited back after that. He wound up with a lead in the bottom 5th, however. Fernando Perez legged out a soft roller between Ricky Lopez and Dale Haracz for a single, Tony Lopez was nicked, and then Pucks took Munoz deep for a score-flipping 3-run homer, 5-4! There the score remained for a while; Cornejo and Sencion pitched scoreless innings, while the Coons got Crispin and Pucks on base in the bottom 7th, but Lonzo’s grounder to short was handled by Suggs for the third out. Hitchcock then stunningly blew the lead in the eighth. Jose Rodriguez singled, stole second, and easily scored on Jose Cadena’s double to left that Crum could not reach. He kept Cadena on base, though, got another out in the ninth, and Vic Flores held the Loggers in the tie to see out the completion of nine innings for them. The Coons still had a chance to walk off against righty Dave Lister, which Maud was rooting for hardest, so that everybody could get out of the building and she could replace all the dirty door mats with new ones.

But the Coons didn’t score, or reach, nor did the Loggers against Flores in the top of the tenth inning. Rookie John Norris, a right-hander with a 2.40 ERA, faced the Coons’ 9-1-2 in the bottom of the frame, but Suzuki, Pucks, and Lonzo went in order there as well. The 11th, Daley struck out Lopez and Suggs and popped out Steinbacher, while Norris returned and walked both Waters and Ramsay to crowd the base paths. Crum grounded out, advancing the runners, after which Chris Gowin was walked intentionally. Crispin batted with the winning run 90 feet away and with a force behind him, but popped out. Perez didn’t pop out; after falling to 0-2, he slashed a single through the right side to walk off the Critters. 6-5 Raccoons. Perez 3-5, RBI;

Nick Valdes arrived by lunchtime on Friday, which was right the wrong moment, as he walked right into a food fight between some outfielders and half the bullpen and was hit by several meatballs. He immediately turned red in the face, and hollered, sending the players scattering. I opened a new bottle of Capt’n Coma.

Game 2
MIL: LF Pigman – 2B R. Lopez – SS Z. Suggs – CF Steinbacher – RF Callaia – 1B Haracz – C C. Thomas – 3B J. Rodriguez – P Costello
POR: CF Puckeridge – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – LF Crum – 3B Crispin – RF T. Lopez – C Raczka – P Taki

Taki had another shaky start, getting ticked for three hits and two runs in the first inning, then two triples in the second inning. Chris Thomas tripled and scored on a wild pitch (oh boy…), while Perry Pigman also tripled, but with two outs, and was stranded when Lopez struck out. It didn’t get much better – Suggs, Steinbacher, and Gaudencio Callaia loaded the bases with nobody out in the third inning as they hit a single, double, and drew a walk. At that point, Nick Valdes stormed to the window, opened it, and yelled down onto the field that Taki should get his **** together, now! I had my doubts as to the efficiency of such treatment, at least until the next three Loggers made sub-standard outs and failed to score any of the three runners.

Also in trouble: the offense, at least until consecutive errors by Ricky Lopez and Chris Thomas put the Coons battery into scoring position to begin the bottom 3rd. Pucks whiffed, but Lonzo hit a sac fly and Waters got an RBI single to get the unearned runs home and narrow the score to 3-2. Costello then promptly reached on a Ramsay error, and Pigman singled to center to open the fourth. Ricky Lopez struck out, but a wild pitch advanced the runners. Suggs plated a run with a grounder to short, but Pigman was stranded with a K to Steinbacher, 4-2. The Loggers added another run in the fifth with a leadoff single for Callaia, who stole a base and scored on a groundout by Chris Thomas eventually… Taki was also not back after the fifth inning, and I put a bit more effort into calling around with some last-place teams for pitching help. … which had the added benefit that I could hiss at Nick Valdes to be silent when he started to bicker about something I couldn’t change anyway, like the weather, which was mostly cloudy, yet dry.

Not that the offense was any good. Ramsay doubled and Crum walked in the sixth, but Costello got a double play grounder from Crispin to bail out of the inning. Blackshire drew a 2-out walk in the #9 hole in the seventh, then went to third base on Pucks’ single, bringing up the tying run again, but Lonzo grounded out to short again. Medrano then gave up another run after Jose Rodriguez hit a leadoff triple into the rightfield corner in the top 8th, which moved the Loggers out to slam distance. – I know, Nick, I know. They’re not gonna win if they play this way. – Well, I can’t help that either. – What do you mean, you have business partners flying in for the big day tomorrow and you promised them a win??

And it didn’t get better. Medrano pitched another inning, while in the bottom 9th, Costello tried to complete the game until walking PH Chris Gowin and getting taken deep by Pucks, which narrowed the gap to two runs again, but with two already out. – I don’t know, Nick, why that skinny wimp is now batting. – Wait, how are you talking about Lonzo?? – (looks at TV) – That’s not Lonzo. … No, it wasn’t Lonzo that was batting with two out and two down in the bottom 9th against Lister. It was Naughty Joe, but he doubled to center… and then Waters grounded out. 6-4 Loggers. Puckeridge 3-5, HR, 2 RBI; Boese (PH) 1-1, 2B; Ramsay 2-4, 2 2B; Harmer 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K;

Lonzo had hurt himself on the final play in the top of the ninth inning and would not be in the lineup on Saturday, so while everybody celebrated the career achievements of Yoshi Nomura and Alberto Ramos, who jointly had #7 retired for them, on the field before the game, I spent the pre-game time whimpering and crying and begging the baseball gods for mercy on the trusty brown couch.

And then came Nick Valdes’ business partners. Maud made me say hi to them, even though my facial fur was all wet and my whiskers were hanging southwards.

The big black guy with the giant golden earrings and the triple chin looked nice enough, but almost broke my paw when he was shaking it. Nick Valdes introduced him as Mamba, the meanest warlord of the Congo basin, not that I cared. I was much taken aback by the appearance of Dr. Vitrolescu, however, a pale, ghoulish figure, mind-bogglingly thin, and with suspiciously pointy canines.

I wasn’t particularly interested in their business talks – something about a landmine factory that Dr. Vitrolescu wanted to build Transnistria, or other… I had a priced shortstop to worry about!

Speaking of shortstops, yes, Maud, I see Yoshi and Berto take the cover of that baseball-shaped #7 marker. Oh, my bad. The #7 is actually square. The baseball-shaped thing was Berto.

Game 3
MIL: LF Pigman – 2B R. Lopez – SS Z. Suggs – CF Steinbacher – RF Callaia – 1B Haracz – C C. Thomas – 3B J. Rodriguez – P Morrill
POR: RF Puckeridge – CF Perez – SS Waters – 1B Ramsay – LF Crum – C Gowin – 3B Crispin – 2B Boese – P Wheatley

The game began with not one, but two infield singles, after which Suggs hit into a 5-4-3 double play, but Wheatley then gave up an RBI triple to Steinbacher and RBI single to Callaia anyway. Nick Valdes panicked immediately and reminded me that the Raccoons had to win to appease his guests, otherwise Mamba wouldn’t supply child labor orphans at a decent price…! – I’m sorry, Nick, what? I wasn’t listening, I was busy sulking on the inside.

The Coons answered with a Pucks single and Waters walking, after which Ramsay tied the game with a homer. If that didn’t add up, that was because Pucks was caught stealing third base on the pitch before Ramsay went yard to right. At least Valdes shut up for a while, at least until a Pigman double and Steinbacher triple in the third inning put the Loggers on top, 3-2, again… Ramsay tied the game again, though, and in the same inning. Pucks and Perez reached base to begin the bottom 3rd, but Waters now jabbed into a double play. After Ramsay tied the game, Crum and Gowin also hit singles to center, Ramsay tried to score from second base on the latter play, and was thrown out by Steinbacher. One of those games. – No, Nick, I don’t… Where the **** am I supposed to get a 12-year-old with tiny fingers as a sample right now??

Pucks opened *another* inning with a double in the bottom 5th, and when Perez singled, runners were on the corners in a 3-3 game. Waters struck out, and Ramsay hit into a double play. Wheats probably also sighed and shrugged inside, but at least held the (ugly) line of eight hits and a 3-3 tie to the seventh-inning stretch, which took him just over 100 pitches. He had to settle for a no-decision – Pucks hit a 2-out single in the bottom 7th, but Perez grounded out to Dale Haracz. – What is it, Maud? I have emotionally checked out from everything while those three caricatures over there discuss a fair price for kids. – Berto wants to say hi? Well, he should come in then! – But we measured it, and his personal mobility scooter should fit the door perfectly! – Oh, I see, the scooter fits, but not his overhanging lard bottoms. – Sigh. Let’s get a few blocks of butter to smear on the door frame, so we can glitch him through.

Cornejo began the top 8th, giving up two sharp drives to left to Suggs and Steinbacher, both of which somehow ended up with Crum. Sencion then allowed a single to Callaia, but Haracz grounded out. The Coons then got Waters on with a leadoff double, followed by Ramsay walking. Crum, always a candidate to hit into a double play, graciously and considerately struck out, and the Coons then took a lead on Gowin’s double to right, 4-3! The ball was hit so loud and banged off the wall so hard, Dr. Vitrolescu’s lower jaw fell off in awe, but he quickly re-hinged the wayward appendage. And then, because these were the Coons, Crispin was walked intentionally and Naughty Joe naughtily hit into a double play, killing the inning.

Daley got the ninth, and I got more of Valdes taking me aside and imploring me that we had to win this game, as if I had any influence on ****** relief pitching. Cadena flew out to Perez, but Daley then walked Rodriguez and Dave de Lemos singled to left. Valdes’ face became redder, but Dr. Vitrolescu’s only seemed to become ever paler – regardless, Perry Pigman grounded sharply at Naughty Joe, who zinged the ball to Waters, on to Ramsay – ballgame! 4-3 Coons! Puckeridge 2-2, 2 BB; Perez 2-4; Waters 2-4, 2B; Ramsay 2-3, BB, HR, 3 RBI; Gowin 2-4, 2B, RBI;

See you, Berto, see you. (hugs!) – Maud, just put the bucket with cake for the way home on the trailer behind the scooter.

They’re gonna sign? – Gee, Nick, that makes me so giddy. (gets hugged by Valdes, and lacks the energy to resist)

Sorry, I don’t know, Dr. Vitrolescu, where you can find the best blood sausages in town.

Yoshi, Yoshi, ssshh. I know that he’s an evil spirit, but you can only finish him off with your ceremonial sword once that ink is dry.

And once Nick Valdes is outta town.

Things calmed down on Sunday, except for me whining like a *****. Dr. Padilla reported that Lonzo had a serious case of shoulder tendinitis, and would have to miss six weeks. Matt Knights was recalled from St. Petersburg.

Well, there goes our season!

Game 4
MIL: LF Pigman – 2B R. Lopez – SS Z. Suggs – CF Steinbacher – RF Callaia – 1B Haracz – C C. Thomas – 3B J. Rodriguez – P Hollis
POR: RF Puckeridge – CF Perez – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – LF Crum – C Gowin – 3B Blackshire – SS Knight – P Brobeck

For a change, the Raccoons scored first on Sunday as Waters singled and was doubled home by Ramsay in the bottom 1st. Blackshire and Knight went the other way round in the second inning, with a double and RBI single, respectively. Bottom 3rd, Perez singled, stole second, and was singled home by Waters, 3-0. Ken Crum added two with a homer to right, 5-0!

Brobeck faced the minimum the first time through; while Callaia hit a single in the second, he was also caught stealing. Callaia would also hit a triple and was driven in by Haracz in the fifth inning, which got the Loggers on the board. Chris Thomas also singled, but Rodriguez’ double play grounder and a K to Hollis bailed Brobeck out in the inning. But the Loggers kept lurking; Pigman and Lopez hit singles to begin the sixth, but were both stranded on Suggs’ pop and two strikeouts. Instead, Blackshire and Knight were at it again in the bottom of the inning. The former singled to left, the latter doubled to right, and drove home Blackshire once more, 6-1. Brobeck singled to right, stole second (!), Pucks was walked with intent, but then Perez lined out softly and Waters barely managed to stay out of the double play on a grounder to second base. Ramsay made up for that, ramming a 2-run double off the wall in left against righty Ryan Clements.

Brobeck’s nice line fell apart in the seventh on a 2-out, 3-run homer by Perry Pigman, who was becoming increasingly and rapidly annoying, which Raul Medrano already was. He put on a pair in the eighth inning, but was bailed out by another double play grounder. The Coons loaded the bases in the bottom 8th with Perez, Ramsay, and Crum, scratched out a run on a Gowin grounder, but Blackshire struck out to strand a pair. Ryan Harmer retired the first two in the ninth, then walked Cadena, bringing Pigman back to the dish – but struck him out, which delighted me greatly in my abundance of pain. 10-4 Raccoons. Perez 2-5; Ramsay 2-4, BB, 2 2B, 3 RBI; Blackshire 3-5, 2B; Knight 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Lopez (PH) 1-1;

In other news

July 16 – The Titans acquire OF/2B Dave Roura (.244, 4 HR, 26 RBI) from the Cyclones in exchange for UT Jason Lettner (.256, 4 HR, 25 RBI) and a prospect.
July 16 – More pitching for the Indians, who pick up SP Larry Broad (7-6, 4.82 ERA) from the Rebels, along with cash, for two prospects.
July 18 – Topeka 1B/LF/RF Eddie Moreno (.284, 14 HR, 57 RBI) drives in five runs as he lands three hits in a 17-2 rout of the Rebels, including the 2,000th hit of his career, a third-inning grand slam smacked off Rebels rookie MR Nick Gibbens (0-1, 5.68 ERA). Moreno, 34, was a 3-time home run king with the Scorpions, the 2044 FL Player of the Year, and was batting .276/.347/.475 with 367 HR and 1,281 RBI for his career.
July 18 – WAS OF Neville van de Wouw (.293, 21 HR, 52 RBI) goes 4-for-4 with 4 RBI, including three home runs, in a 5-4 win over the Cyclones, including a deciding solo home run in the top of the 10th inning. The Aruban is the second player to whack three bombs against Cincinnati this year, after Denver’s Ivan Villa did the trick in April.
July 18 – IND SP Enrique Ortiz (5-8, 4.65 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout against the Canadiens, taking a 5-0 win despite walking five batters.
July 20 – Buffos closer Trent O’Sullivan (3-4, 4.46 ERA, 20 SV) brings his 300th career save across in a 6-4 win over the Rebels – all of them with Topeka. The three-time FL saves champ – including last year – and 2050 FL Reliver of the Year had a 36-63 record, 3.19 ERA, and 614 K in 594 appearances.

FL Player of the Week: WAS OF Neville van de Wouw (.293, 21 HR, 52 RBI), batting .524 (11-21) with 3 HR, 5 RBI
CL Player of the Week: POR 1B Harry Ramsay (.290, 12 HR, 34 RBI), hitting .467 (7-15) with 1 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

So, #7 now hangs from the rafters – both Yoshi Nomura and Berto Ramos wore it in their Coons careers, and it’s complicated. Yoshi wore it first, but obtained free agency after ten years of faithful service with the Coons and signed with the Capitals. He would return to the Raccoons later for the 2020 and 2021 seasons, but was still not retired when Berto made his debut, and the Raccoons were so-so on saving up #7 for him, because he has spent almost half his career elsewhere. Berto did the number further proud, playing 18 seasons with the Critters, and another abortive backbencher campaign with the Buffos before retiring. They almost overlapped, but while Nomura signed a 4-year deal before 2020, the Raccoons faded at that point and he was eventually traded to the Gold Sox in a package that brought back Frank Kelly and Ricardo Romero. Funnily enough, the first time Yoshi was traded, from the Caps to the Cyclones in 2017, he was dealt straight-up for Shunyo Yano – who had signed with the Coons out of Japan, but had been traded for a young Jonny Toner five years earlier.

Altogether, Nomura batted .305/.384/.398 across his career, with 3,050 hits, 83 HR, and 1,051 RBI. He won a batting title with the 2022 Gold Sox at age 38, a Gold Glove, seven All Star nominations, and three Platinum Sticks.

Berto batted .299/.388/.362 with 2,478 hits, 20 HR, 1,189 RBI, and 745 stolen bases. He was Rookie of the Year, a 6-time All Star, won three Platinum Sticks, and rings with the 2026 and 2028 teams.

The Coons are in second place, a game and a half out. But my fatalistic outlook says, with Lonzo off to the DL for the rest of this month and all of the next, they might as well be behind the Loggers. It’s all over!

Next week: Indians at home, then the Baybirds on the road.

Fun Fact: Neville van de Wouw is the first Capital ever to hit three home runs in a game.

They were the last team to never have had a 3-homer game by anybody. All teams now have one of those, and all teams have at least one no-hitter and one cycle.

As far as 6-hit games are concerned, the Blue Sox and Condors both have never had one of those.