[Westheim]

The Raccoons had a day off before their set in Vegas, which ended up with me sitting around in the nearest casino. But I had barely lost 200 bucks of Nick Valdes’ money at the craps table when I was sought out by an employee, notifying me of a phone call, which was apparently something they hadn’t had to do in almost 15 years, and they had been tempted of getting rid of the telephone entirely, which was not something that would cross my mind. I loved my ancient black-lacquered rotary phone at home in Portland.

It was Dr. Padilla calling me, informing me that the scans had come back on Raffy’s elbow, and that there was definitely a tear in his UCL, he definitely needed surgery, and yes, he’d definitely be out for the next 12 months.

I definitely wept after that.

The Coons thus disposed of two starting pitchers on Monday. Raffy (5-2, 2.31 ERA) went on the 60-day DL because we’d need the spot on the 40-man before long, and Phil Baker (4-3, 6.26 ERA) was plainly punted to AAA. I then summoned Kyle Brobeck, who had more walks than strikeouts amidst a 3.56 ERA in St. Pete, and Josh Mayo, who had an ERA under three, but still more than a walk per two innings, from the Alley Cats, then left my hotel, rented a car at the nearest lot, and drove north into the desert with no particular goal in my mind. Just get away from it all.

Get away from it all and cry as loud as you like without anybody hearing you.

Raccoons (22-22) @ Aces (16-28) – May 27-29, 2053

The Aces were 12 games under .500 but also only 12 runs under .500, with a seventh place in runs scored and ninth in runs allowed in the CL. Crummy defense, crummy bullpen, and only 12 stolen bases, which was a bottom three ranking in the league. They beat the Coons six out of nine in 2052.

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (4-3, 2.19 ERA) vs. Juan Mercado (1-4, 4.78 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (1-3, 2.90 ERA) vs. Efrain Estrada (1-2, 4.62 ERA)
Victor Salcido (5-1, 2.89 ERA) vs. Medardo Regueir (2-6, 3.68 ERA)

The Raccoons got two left-handers in this set, on Tuesday and Thursday. They wouldn’t see anything of Jim White, Jorge Cruz, and Thomas Gould, who were all position players locked away on the DL for the Aces.

Game 1
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – C Gowin – CF Suzuki – RF Lopez – P Taki
LVA: CF Blair – LF Austin – SS Welter – C DeFrank – 1B D. Riley – RF Bishop – 3B V. Fernandez – 2B Hager – P J. Mercado

Taki conceded two singles in the first, two walks in the second, but contact was soft, and while he struck out only one batter the first time through, he held Vegas off the board until Ken Crum homered to left for a 1-0 score in the fourth. Mercado stumbled on, walked Malkus to begin the fifth inning, but Lonzo grounded out, advancing the runner. Waters snuck one up the middle for an RBI single, 2-0, and more singles by Crum and Ramsay loaded the bases with one out. Chris Gowin clonked a deep drive to right, but was beaten by both distance, and Steve Bishop’s glove, having to settle for a sac fly right to the otherwise very inviting fence. Mikio Suzuki lined out to Brenton Hager to end the inning altogether.

All the 3-0 lead went bust in the bottom 6th, when Taki served up a leadoff triple to Ray DeFrank, and waved the run across with a wild pitch, followed by two more walks, a Brenton Hager single, and ultimately, a game-tying, pinch-hit, RBI groundout by … Jerry Outram. The bugger! Taki wasn’t returning for the seventh, which Waters opened with a single for Portland, but was doubled up by Crum, crummily. Instead, the Aces had another 3-spot in the eighth inning, getting their first four batters on base with two singles by Dan Riley and Danny Encarnacion against Vic Flores, then another single by Bobby Ortega, and a bases-loaded walk offered to John Fink by Raul Cornejo. The fourth straight pinch-hitter, Travis Stone, hit a sac fly, Dave Blair singled home a pair, and Aubrey Austin struck out to end the disaster. 6-3 Aces. Waters 2-4, RBI; Crum 2-4, HR, RBI; Gowin 1-2, BB, RBI;

I didn’t see the game. I had other problems. For example, standing on the only gas station on Nevada State Route 375 for 50 miles around, and finding out that the car you rented out only had a plug – and there was no outlet to plug it into.

By Wednesday morning, the Aces moved Regueir up to the middle game of the series, giving the Coons back-to-back southpaws to look poor against, and I had hitched a ride with a farmer, Gus, who was driving to the market and told me seven times that I couldn’t open the glove compartment in front of his pickup truck.

It was a weird market he was driving to. There was no produce on the pickup truck – only several boxes with warning labels reading everything from “hazardous waste” to “human tissue”.

One man’s human tissue is another man’s hazardous waste, I guess. Just look at that bullpen…

Game 2
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – C Gowin – CF Puckeridge – RF Lopez – P Wheatley
LVA: 3B V. Fernandez – LF Austin – SS Welter – C DeFrank – 1B D. Riley – RF Bishop – CF Fink – 2B Hager – P Regueir

An Austin double aside, Wheats had only mild trouble in the early innings, and even got a timely lead when Ramsay whacked his 10th homer of the year, a solo shot to right in the second inning. That was also the Critters’ only hit through five innings, while the Aces had three off Wheats, but no runs, while Wheatley struck out six batters, one of whom – Austin in the fifth – reached when Gowin couldn’t keep his paws on the ball and then chased the ball up the third base line. DeFrank struck out to begin the sixth, before Riley singled up the middle, but Bishop found Lonzo for a double play. The Aces popped out three times in the seventh, which was Wheats’ final inning, as he reached 102 pitches by popping up Regueir to end the inning.

Chris Gowin’s leadoff single in the eighth was the first Coons hit after – and the only one besides – the Ramsay homer from 90 minutes ago, and he was still meandering around aimlessly by the time there were two outs and Wheats’ spot was up. Joe Boese batted and hit a gapper to right-center, and at least Gowin got a good read and was able to score from first base. Malkus grounded out, and Kevin Hitchcock then wasted no time setting fire to the lead. Leadoff single by Victor Fernandez, another single by Austin, Jeremy Welter walked, and DeFrank drove home a run, albeit with a double play grounder. The tying run at third base, Eloy Sencion came out for the left-handed pack in the 5-6-7 spots. Bobby Ortega, still a lefty batter, pinch-hit for Riley, popped out to Malkus, and Wheats’ lead lived to see the ninth inning. The Coons had two singles (Lonzo, Waters) in the ninth, were caught stealing (Lonzo) and doubled up by Crum (Waters), and then had to give the ball to daley Kevin Wobbly. John Fink whacked a 1-out double to right, but Hager popped out. Jerry Outram, hitting all of .133, then pinch-hit in the #9 hole, but as the winning run after all. He ended the game – with a groundout to Waters. 2-1 Blighters. Boese (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; Wheatley 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 7 K, W (2-3);

Gus told me to stay in the car at a “town” where two dusty county roads crossed somewhere in the middle of nowhere that evening. I wondered how far it was to his market, but I was hungry anyway and decided to visit the only convenience store in Dead Cow, Nevada, which had a charming blinking “O EN” sign in the door, while Gus said he’d collect something. I wanted chocolates.

Somehow, a basic chocolate bar cost $7.50 in that store, which probably was also the only store for 50 miles around. While I was trying to talk sense into Hilda, the store owner, who had three hairs left on the top of her head, but five on he double chin, there was suddenly commotion on the outside, and two pickup trucks and a van drove up on the “town” square, and dark hooded figures fired with automatic guns out of the truck windows, peppering Gus’ truck with bullets until it very cinematically exploded. When Gus came storming out of the building on the other side of the square, rifle in hand, he was immediately knocked over by two goons that had jumped out of the van, and then immediately dragged into the same. Just as soon as the three vehicles had appeared, they also drove off, engines and tires screaming, in different directions. The whole thing took less than 20 seconds to occur.

Okay, Hilda, back to this crunchy nut bar that is six weeks over its best-before date. I’ll give you a fiver, because I really like your service and I respect people driving a hard bargain. – What do you mean, I can have it for free if I just shut up about what I have seen here?

I then sat down outside at a shaded bus stop. According to the timetable, another bus was due to arrive this week. Hopefully the crunchy nut bar would last me that long.

Game 3
POR: RF Puckeridge – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – LF Crum – CF Perez – 3B Boese – C Philipps – P Salcido
LVA: CF Blair – LF Austin – SS Welter – C DeFrank – 1B D. Riley – RF Bishop – 3B V. Fernandez – 2B Hager – P E. Estrada

Offense on Thursday was again scarce in the early innings, with only one hit for either team, but Salcido at least kept the home crowd busy when he walked the bags full with Estrada (…), Austin, and Welter in the third inning and only one out on the board. Dave Blair struck out, as did DeFrank; Dan Riley flew out to Crum, and the game remained scoreless. Pucks in the third and Ramsay in the fourth hit into double plays for Coon City, and we were still at zilch-zilch in the sixth inning when Philipps singled, Pucks walked, and Lonzo skipped a single in between a rapidly converging Welter and Austin to load the bases with one gone for Waters, who grounded to Hager. The Aces got Lonzo at second, but not the double play, and the Raccoons really and actually scored a run to go up 1-0. Ramsay fell to 1-2 before hitting a drive to right. The ball missed the fence by 20 feet, but also missed Bishop’s glove by two feet, and fell for a 2-out, 2-run double. Estrada walked Crum, Perez sloshed an RBI single to center, and the inning ended with Boese grounding out to short, naughtily. The Aces’ 3-4-5 answered with straight hits and a run off Salcido to begin the bottom 6th, but then made pathetic outs with the 6-7-8 batters and let the tying run die at the plate. It was also the end for Salcido, who needed 109 pitcehs through six innings, walking four and whiffing six. Jerry Outram whacked a double off Antonio Alfaro in the seventh inning, but was also stranded, and the same fate befell Dan Riley in the eighth despite tripling to center off Vic Flores. Daley appeared to get the final out of that inning, and thus remained eligible for a save even after Pucks’ 2-out solo homer to left off Carlos Ochoa in the ninth inning. Malkus and Waters hit two more singles after that, but Ramsay grounded out, keeping the Aces in slam range. Daley retired them on three grounders to end the game, though. 5-1 Raccoons. Puckeridge 2-4, BB, HR, RBI; Lavorano 2-4; Malkus (PH) 1-1; Perez 2-4, RBI;

The Coons arrived home in Portland on Wednesday night, one game above .500.

I arrived in Schurz, Nevada, after a 12-hour ride on the weekly bus on Wednesday night. It wasn’t much of a place, but I found a couple of half-grown teen boys loitering on a corner, and offered them a hundo if they could drive me the last hundred miles to Reno, the nearest airport from which I could hope to catch a flight to Portland. At first, one of them said that they were only 15 and not allowed to drive, but I cocked my head to the side and asked them not to kid me. They looked exactly like the sort of punks that would put their stepfather to sleep with six cans of beer and then took his car keys! – which was a shot in the dark, but they nodded immediately and one of them produced a set of car keys right away.

The two, named D’Artagnan and Jim-Bob, also tried to be smarter than the three pieces of cat droppings, stacked on top of each other, than they looked like, and asked for the 100 bucks right after we were out of sight of the town. I loudly sang them the chorus of “Don’t Pay the Ferryman” until they finally shut up about it.

Raccoons (24-23) vs. Thunder (31-15) – May 30-June 1, 2053

The Thunder were back in first place in the South, they were third in runs scored and first in runs allowed in the CL, and the Coons would come up with two scratchout pitchers that had failed before and were making their first starts of the year. The Thunder should handily extend their 2-1 lead in the season series…!

Projected matchups:
Kyle Brobeck (0-0) vs. Zach Boyer (5-2, 2.71 ERA)
Josh Mayo (0-0) vs. Mike Zeigler (4-3, 3.00 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (4-3, 2.39 ERA) vs. David Barel (7-3, 2.76 ERA)

For this series, we’d see a right-hander and then two southpaws.

Meanwhile, after paying off D’Artagnan and Jim-Bob with $100 of Nick Valdes’ money and two milkshakes – the additional surcharge for having them stop playing their death metal rap crap in the car – I saw on the departure board that all flights out of Reno were cancelled because apparently the guy driving the luggage cart was on strike.

Game 1
OCT: LF R. Cox – 2B Ban – SS Soberanes – 1B Worthington – RF Harmon – 3B R. Sifuentes – C Burnham – CF M. Allen – P Boyer
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – CF Puckeridge – LF Crum – C Gowin – RF Lopez – P Brobeck

Brobeck entered with a 9-13 record and 4.47 ERA for his major league career, and when he left the game in the sixth inning, had little chance to avoid going to 9-14 anymore. The Thunder were up 4-0 on a pair of 2-run doubles by Ramon Sifuentes in the second and sixth innings, with three of the four runners that scored having reached base on walks, of which Brobeck offered six in total, the final one to Luke Burnham there with one out in the sixth. Vic Flores struck out Mike Allen and got a groundout from Boyer to end the inning, while Boyer was pitching a 3-hitter at this point. The Coons had yet to touch third base, and didn’t give anybody reason to believe they would any time soon. The Thunder scored five more runs in a pitching meltdown for Cornejo and Watson in the eighth inning that did not merit further description, but with the game a dead duck anyway, Watson batted for himself in the bottom 8th and finished out the game pitching-wise with three strikeouts in the ninth inning. Boyer finished out the game all by himself, scattering three base hits. 9-0 Thunder. Malkus 1-2, BB; Ramsay 1-2, BB;

I ended up hitching another rental car from Reno and decided to take the scenic route home, travelling west over I-80 into California, and while the Raccoons went down without much of a squeal against the Thunder for umpteenth time visited the memorial on Donner Pass, where the members of the eponymous party had resorted to eating each other.

Whatever warms the heart, y’know…

Game 2
OCT: LF R. Cox – 2B Ban – SS Soberanes – 1B Worthington – RF Harmon – 3B R. Sifuentes – C Burnham – CF M. Allen – P Zeigler
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – C Gowin – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – 2B Boese – CF Puckeridge – RF Lopez – P Mayo

An infield single for Ryan Cox and homers by Soberanes and David Worthington put the Thunder up 3-0 on Josh Mayo before long. I was by now in radio range of a Raccoons broadcast as I wound my way through northern Cali, although iffy weather in Portland soon sent the game into an hourlong rain delay, whereupon Scott Strype and Jon Craig – the white one, the one that pitched for the Coons – on the radio mused about the good old days. I eventually flicked them off and instead visited the last few old redwoods standing in Del Norte County, California, and wondered whether they’d make for good bats to get the damn Critters to hit.

Mayo despite the rain delay ended up pitching six innings for only one more run surrendered, which Strype and Craig made sound like a success, even though the Raccoons were still no closer to scoring a run. They had actually loaded the bases – in unearned fashion – in the fourth inning of the game, but then Mayo had struck out and Malkus had grounded out to short to keep everybody stranded.

Pucks drew a walk in the bottom 6th, and Zeigler beaned Tony Lopez out of the game; Perez ran for Lopez while Waters batted for Mayo with one out, and brought home the team’s first run in 15 innings with a floater to shallow center that dropped for an RBI single also thanks to a good read from Pucks, who went for home immediately. Malkus hit another RBI single to right, and that put the tying run on base, but 15 pitches later, including a full-count, 2-out walk to Gowin, the Coons stranded the sacks full once more with groundouts from Lonzo and Crum. Crummy. Alfaro pitched two innings for Portland then, giving up a run on a Soberanes double and Mike Harmon single in the eighth, to which the Coons responded with putting Suzuki (single) and Malkus (double) into scoring position with one out in the home half of the same inning, but the Lonzo and Gowin made outs that made the radio guys groan. The tying run reached the dish again in the bottom 9th, but only after 2-out singles by Naughty Joe and Pucks against left-hander Gustavo Chapa. Perez was next, but the bench was dry except for Ed Crispin, so no gains were to be had on that front, and Perez grounded out to Worthington to kill the game. 5-2 Thunder. Malkus 3-5, 2B, RBI; Waters (PH) 1-1, RBI; Suzuki 1-1;

Tony Lopez was day-to-day with a bruise, and wouldn’t be in the lineup on Sunday.

On Sunday, I travelled north on US-101. In the morning, I stared into Devil’s Churn from the viewing area, but was collected by attentive park rangers when I climbed over the railing to consign my body to the tumultuous waves. Shooed away, I eventually ended up in the annual Cheesefest in Tillamook County.

Mmmm. Cheese.

Game 3
OCT: LF R. Cox – 2B Ban – SS Soberanes – 1B Worthington – RF Harmon – 3B R. Sifuentes – C Burnham – CF M. Allen – P Barel
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – RF Puckeridge – C Philipps – CF Suzuki – P Taki

Single, walk, walk, single – four straight Thunder reached before Taki summoned an out, but that he did by striking out Harmon and Sifuentes before Burnham calmly grounded out, stranding three runners amid a 1-0 deficit. The Coons in the bottom 1st started with two singles before hitting into a double play (Waters) and whiffing (Crum), and then didn’t reach base again until the next time Lonzo came up and hit a leadoff single in the fourth. He stole his 20th bag of the year, then was about to be left stranded by the 3-4-5 batters until Jonathan Ban threw Ramsay’s 2-out grounder away for a game-tying error. Pucks grounded out, politely declining to exploit such an unfortunate mistake by the opposition. Taki meanwhile allowed a hit in each of the third, fourth, and fifth innings, but got double plays the first two times, then a bad bunt for a 5-4 force out by Barel, who in his return to Raccoons Ballpark pitched like he had left it – mostly without blame. And then, when he did walk Suzuki in the bottom 5th, Taki was now the one to bunt into a force at second base, which probably cost the go-ahead run considering the following 2-out single by Malkus, which only moved the pitcher to second base rather than Suzuki from it. Lonzo grounded out to end the inning.

Two singles, a walk, and two double plays not turned then allowed the Thunder to score two runs in the sixth inning for a 3-1 lead. Soberanes opened with a single, Harmon walked, and not turning two on Sifuentes’ grounder to short and a Burnham single brought in two runs. Pucks countered with a 2-run homer in the bottom 6th, which could have been more if Matt Waters hadn’t grounded out on a 3-0 pitch to begin the ******* inning.

Taki pitched another inning, but was hit for with Crispin when Suzuki opened the bottom 7th with a leadoff single, and Crispin even drew a walk from Barel. The ex-Coon struck out Malkus, but Lonzo managed to slip an RBI single through the left side to send the Coons soaring, 4-3. The Thunder didn’t have the pen ready yet, but the Coons had Waters, who belted a 3-run homer to send Barel packing. The inning after, Pucks, Philipps, and Crispin loaded the bags on three soft singles against lefty Tom Spencer. Naughty Joe batted for Hitchcock in the #1 hole and at least got a run home with a groundout. Lonzo left two with a fly out to center, but even Steve Watson couldn’t blow the 5-run lead anymore. 8-3 Raccoons. Malkus 2-4; Lavorano 3-5, RBI; Puckeridge 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Crispin (PH) 1-1, BB;

In other news

May 26 – Milwaukee’s Phil Steinbacher (.198, 1 HR, 27 RBI) breaks out by driving in all but one of the Loggers’ runs in an 11-inning, 8-7 win over the Falcons, while going 3-for-6 and missing the cycle by the single.
May 27 – The Bayhawks pick up C Jorge Ortiz (.321, 13 HR, 32 RBI) from the Buffaloes, who receive left-hander Victor Merino (0-0, 0.44 ERA, 1 SV) and a prospect.
May 29 – A pinched nerve would keep Dallas’ RF/LF/1B Dario Martinez (.304, 7 HR, 28 RBI) out for at least three weeks.
May 29 – LAP RF Matt Diskin (.290, 2 HR, 21 RBI) would be out for a month with shoulder tendinitis.
May 29 – Boston RF/LF Dave Gonzalez (.257, 4 HR, 15 RBI) hits a home run in the top of the first inning against the Condors, and that is it for that game, which ends a 1-0 Titans victory.
May 30 – DAL SP Carlos Malla (6-3, 3.25 ERA) 2-hits the Blue Sox in an 8-0 shutout.
May 30 – Even before that game, the Blue Sox learned that their 3B Josh Frazier (.233, 4 HR, 8 RBI) would be on the DL for most of June with a strained MCL.
May 30 – LVA 3B/SS Jeremy Welter (.294, 4 HR, 28 RBI) was also to miss a month with a knee sprain.
May 30 – …and a strained hammy put PIT OF Matt Cox (.230, 8 HR, 29 RBI) on the shelf for at least six weeks…
May 31 – The Gold Sox acquire 2B/SS Shane Larsen (.272, 1 HR, 13 RBI) from the Pacifics, along with cash and a prospect, for 1B Chris Rice (.238, 2 HR, 4 RBI).

FL Player of the Week: WAS SP Bruce Mark jr. (7-1, 1.88 ERA, 1 SV), going 2-0 across 17.1 scoreless innings
CL Player of the Week: ATL OF/1B Jon Alade (.314, 3 HR, 28 RBI), batting .667 (14-21) with 5 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SAC 1B Steve Wyatt (.326, 10 HR, 33 RBI), slugging .350 with 6 HR, 17 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN 2B Tony Aparicio (.326, 12 HR, 48 RBI), driving .387 with 10 HR, 41 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: TOP SP Mike LeMasters (5-2, 2.04 ERA), going a perfect 5-0 with a 1.10 ERA, 25 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: NYC SP Edwin Sopena (6-1, 2.58 ERA), throwing 5-0 in 6 starts with a 2.37 ERA, 47 K
FL Rookie of the Month: SFW LF/CF Devin Tarver (.242, 7 HR, 20 RBI), punching .286 with 6 HR, 15 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: POR 1B Harry Ramsay (.289, 10 HR, 26 RBI), swatting .330 with 7 HR, 15 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I arrived home on Sunday night without having seen the team since Monday morning, grabbed Honeypaws, and fell into bed. Weird week. Weird team. Weird season.

Tony Aparicio at 39 years old managed to drive in more runs than his age in a month. He might be a filthy Elk now, but I have to lift my hat to that.

And the Ramsay trade? I am content with that so far.

Next week: road trip to Tijuana, New York. Why exactly did I drive home then…?

Fun Fact: Harry Ramsay was about two or three soggy outings away from demotion to AAA at the end of April.

He entered a double-header with the Baybirds on April 30 batting .182/.237/.273 with one homer and 5 RBI. He looked a bit lost, although a bad BABIP was a factor, because he had only struck out just ten times in 55 at-bats, which was reasonable.

Then he pounded the Baybirds for two homers and six RBI on April 30, and since then has made only five hitless appearances. At one point he had a 12-game hitting streak and a 6-game RBI streak, and got his OPS as high as .966 before calming down this week.

He might be a filthy Canadian, but for now he can stay!