[Westheim]

Raccoons (14-18) vs. Gold Sox (18-14) – May 12-14, 2053

I wasn’t quite sure what was worse – having the four-time-defending champions from Denver in the house with the team in a general state of dissolution, or having Nick Valdes in the house with the team in a general state of dissolution. Valdes was here to bugger the mayor into getting permission to build a casino on the site of the city orphanage, which sounded like a bold proposal to begin with, and the Gold Sox were here to go to 21-14. They ranked only eighth in runs scored in the FL though, and third in runs allowed, and their run differential (+5) was *worse* than the Coons’ (+7). The Sox had a spectacular list of injuries to deal with, including elite starters Gary Perrone and John Kennedy, and elite batters Sandy Castillo and Ivan Villa. Add to that various pieces like Omar Gonzalez, Bill Ramires, and Kyle Brown, and you started to get a sense of their struggles. They weren’t suddenly bad – but they were badly hurt. The Coons had lost both the last regular season meeting in 2048, two games to one, and the 2051 World Series against them, the latter one in a rout, four games to zilch.

Projected matchups:
Rafael de la Cruz (3-1, 1.64 ERA) vs. Nick Robinson (2-3, 4.50 ERA)
Phil Baker (3-2, 4.60 ERA) vs. Andrew Clarke (3-3, 4.64 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (3-2, 2.31 ERA) vs. Jon Craig (4-1, 2.63 ERA)

Robinson was the first southpaw the Coons saw in over a week, and the only one expected in this set. The Jon Craig on Wednesday was the black Jon Craig, the one that had been on the Thunder, not the white one that had been on the Coons, who had last pitched in the majors in 2050 and was now retired.

Finally, the Coons made their 75th roster move of the season (rough estimate) when they punted Cameron Argenziano (0-2, 11.74 ERA) back to AAA. Wheats was expected to come off the DL in the middle of the week (but would slot in behind Taki in any case), and we brought back Eric Reese as roster filler for a couple of days.

Game 1
DEN: CF Lassley – RF Ayres – C Mickle – 1B C. Rice – LF Angulo – SS R. Price – 3B B. Owen – 2B Erazo – P N. Robinson
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – CF Puckeridge – C Gowin – RF Lopez – 1B Philipps – P de la Cruz

The Gold Sox lineup entering this game had a total of ONE homer on the season (Rick Price), and only four guys batting over .200 in any capacity, which included southpaw Nick Robinson, but they still took a lead in the third inning when Juan Erazo (who?) singled, was bunted to second, and was singled home by Sean Lassley. Vic Ayres also singled, but Blake Mickle grounded out to end the inning. Travis Malkus homered to left to tie the game again in the same inning, and after Matt Waters worked a 2-out walk, Ken Crum hit another deep fly to left, but that one was caught on the track by Angel Angulo. That was it through five innings, with three hits and one run for each side, and with pitching dominant. Raffy had struck out seven, and Robinson six. – Yes, Nick, they have won four titles in a row. – No, Nick, we’ve never won four titles in a row. – We had five pennants in a row! – Yes, Nick, the sooner I stop babbling and build a winning team, the sooner we can win four titles in a row…..

Raffy met a sticky end in the seventh inning, walking Rick Price and conceding the run on a 2-out hit by Erazo, which set Denver ahead, 2-1, again. Raul Sevilla drew another walk, Raffy nailed Lassley, and then was removed with the bases loaded. Vic Flores came in to oversee the ultimate collapse of the effort, giving up 2-run knocks to both Ayres and Mickle.

Pucks singled and Gowin hit a seemingly useless homer in the bottom 7th to narrow the score to 6-3 again, but the Coons kept scratching in the eighth against Kellen Lanning. Malkus and Waters went to the corners with one out, and Crum’s grounder to left eluded Ryan Thompson at third base for an RBI single, which meant the tying run was on base now. Pucks grounded out and Gowin lined out to Thompson, however, ending the inning. The tying runs reached again in the bottom 9th, however, then facing ex-Coon Mike Lynn, who conceded 1-out singles to Philipps and Ramsay. Malkus flew out to Lassley, and Lonzo grounded out to Price to sink the team for good. 6-4 Gold Sox. Waters 2-3, BB, 2B; Gowin 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Ramsay (PH) 1-1;

Game 2
DEN: CF Lassley – RF Ayres – C Mickle – 1B C. Rice – LF Angulo – SS R. Price – 3B B. Owen – 2B Erazo – P Clarke
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – RF Puckeridge – C Gowin – CF Suzuki – P Baker

Things got uglier by Tuesday, with a bunch of kids in the seats behind the Coons dugout, holding up signs reading “Save our Orphanage!”, which made Nick Valdes snarl in dismay. Pretty much the same noise I made when Phil Baker walked the first two batters of the Denver Volkssturm to begin the game, although the next three also made soggy outs and the team didn’t score in the inning. Baker offered another leadoff walk to Brandon Owen in the second, but that runner also stuck. Ramsay reached on an Owen error to open the bottom 2nd, and a Pucks double to right then put a pair in scoring position. A pair of sac flies out of the 7-8 spots put the Coons up 2-0, but Baker knew how to rid himself of a lead like few others. Lassley single, walk to Ayres, and while Mickle struck out and Chris Rice grounded out, Angel Angulo’s RBI single got the Sox on the board, and a walk to Price filled the bases. Brandon Owen’s 2-run single to center flipped the score, before Erazo grounded out to Lonzo. – Y’know, Nick, how about saving the orphanage and instead tearing down this dump and build the casino here…?

Baker sucked so bad, he got shanked by the fourth inning, offering five walks in total. Eloy Sencion got the ball with Lassley (single) and Ayres (walk) on base and two outs, with Rice at the plate, and buggered out of the inning with a K. Ramsay tied the score with a solo homer in the bottom 4th. The fifth was calm, and in the sixth Alfaro replaced Sencion and kept the Gold Sox in the tie. Clarke then began the bottom 6th with walks to Waters and Crum, although Ramsay and Pucks made poor outs on shallow pops. Chris Gowin did better, wrapping a 3-run homer around the left foul pole to send the Coons into a 6-3 lead. The orphans briefly cheered and laughed until reminded by their adult supervision that they had to look sad. Anyway, Nick Valdes jubilated.

At least until Chris Rice answered with a 2-run homer off Alfaro, who was pressed into long relief again. That narrowed the score to 6-5 in the seventh, before Ed Crispin answered by belting a pinch-hit homer off Jesus Cardenas in the bottom of the inning. That sure livened up his .140 average…! Hitchcock held the lead in the top 8th, and Ramsay uncorked another homer off Kellen Lanning in the bottom 8th. Better yet, Fernando Perez reached with a single, stole second, and then was driven in with two outs by Joe Boese, who got his first major league hit and RBI, a 2-out single to right…!

While I was receiving congratulations from Nick Valdes on the sound addition of Harry Ramsay and Naughty Joe, the Coons boldly put Eric Reese into the ninth inning with a 4-run lead. He retired nobody; Ayres walked, Mickle whacked an RBI double, and Rice reached on a Crispin error. Kevin Daley thus entered with nobody out and the tying run at the dish, struck out Angulo, gave up an RBI single to Price, and then faced fallen-from-grace pinch-hitter Tylor Cecil, who got ahead 3-1 in the count, and then bounced one to Lonzo that ended the game in 6-4-3 fashion. 9-7 Coons. Crispin (PH) 1-2, HR, RBI; Waters 1-2, 2 BB; Ramsay 2-4, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Gowin 2-3, HR, 4 RBI; Boese (PH) 1-2, RBI;

Eric Reese (0-0, 9.00 ERA) went as swiftly as he came, with Wheats being activated from the DL on Wednesday, although he wouldn’t make a start until the weekend.

By the way, Nick, the guys from the Native American-run casino down the street called, they want a word with y- … (Valdes walks by with an arrow sticking out of his shoulder) … Oh, I see you already met them.

Game 3
DEN: 3B R. Thompson – RF Ayres – 1B C. Rice – LF Angulo – SS R. Price – CF Lassley – C R. Sanchez – 2B Erazo – P J. Craig
POR: 3B Malkus – C Gowin – SS Waters – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – CF Puckeridge – RF Lopez – 2B Boese – P Taki

Neither team had a run and no more than two hits in the first three innings, but Rick Price doubled home Ayres, who had singled and stolen second base, with two outs in the fourth inning to put the Gold Sox in front. The Coons answered with having Ramsay nicked and Pucks singling, but Tony Lopez flew out to Lassley to strand the runners in the bottom 4th, and that very much described the Raccoons’ offensive actions as long as Taki was in the game, which was seven innings. He struck out eight, but also gave up a homer to Angulo in the sixth that extended the Sox’ lead to 2-0. – Yeah Nick, this place is like hell already. All that it needs is a couple of roulette tables. – Yes, the dismal team should live in the orphanage!

Bottom 7th, Pucks singled with one out, bringing up the go-ahead run in Tony Lopez, who grounded into a double play, which reminds me that I have to ask Steve from Accounting what our return policy on Lopez is. The Titans clearly delivered damaged goods! The Titans were probably also laughing all the way to the bank… Vic Flores getting taken deep by Rice made it 3-0 in the eighth, but the Coons had the tying run in the box again in the bottom of the inning after Malkus and Gowin got on base with two outs. Waters grounded out to Erazo, and that was that. Craig continued to bid for a shutout until Ramsay took him deep in solo fashion with one out in the bottom 9th, 3-1, at which point Lynn replaced him. Pucks grounded out, and so did Philipps in Lopez’ spot. 3-1 Gold Sox. Puckeridge 3-4, 2B; Taki 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, L (3-3) and 1-2;

What is it, Maud? – I don’t know whether Nick wants to meet with some of the orphans. (Valdes shakes his head, but Maud leads in the orphans anyway) – Oh, look, Nick, they painted a picture for you!

Raccoons (15-20) @ Indians (22-11) – May 16-18, 2053

First in runs scored, fourth in runs allowed, with a +55 run differential that indicated that maybe it was their turn this year – the Indians were surely not gonna be a joy to play against. They led the season series, 2-1.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (0-2, 3.71 ERA) vs. Enrique Ortiz (3-1, 2.94 ERA)
Victor Salcido (3-1, 2.20 ERA) vs. Thomas Turpeau (2-1, 2.00 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (3-2, 2.40 ERA) vs. Tan Brink (3-1, 3.04 ERA)

Right, left, right. And probably no points to get any ideas about wins.

Game 1
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – LF Puckeridge – C Gowin – CF Perez – RF Lopez – P Wheatley
IND: SS Clover – 2B N. Fernandez – C Poindexter – 1B B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – RF S. King – LF Hare – CF A. Mendez – P En. Ortiz

Winless Wheatley squared off against a .667 team right off the DL, so I feared the very worst. He was notably behind most batters in the first two innings, but didn’t allow a run yet; instead the Critters crammed five hits into the third inning and scored four runs, initially with straight singles from Malkus, Lonzo (who had zero hits against Denver), and Waters, who drove in the first run. Ramsay doubled home Lonzo, and Pucks singled home the remainder and stole second base before the inning fizzled out. And Wheats ran with that – he wasn’t flashy, he wasn’t dominant, but he got better after the searching start, struck out four by the end of the fifth inning, and when Chase Clover hit a single in the sixth, that was only the Indians’ second hit in the game, and he was stranded, too.

Bobby Anderson singled to center with one out in the seventh, and Wheats walked Josh Hare with two gone, which also put him on 100 pitches, which we deemed enough, especially with the guy with a 22-game hitting streak, Angel Mendez, in the #8 hole. The Coons went for Hitchcock, and Mendez grounded out to Travis Malkus, dropping to 0-for-3. With seven complete, he was now on the mercy of his teammates… or probably the Raccoons famously flammable bullpen. Hitchcock retired Pat Lovell to begin the bottom 8th, then allowed a single to Clover and a walk to Nick Fernandez. Flores replaced him, walked Manny Poindexter, and gave up two runs on a Bill Quinteros single. Exit Flores, enter more gasoline. Cornejo got Bobby Anderson to bounce to Malkus, but the Coons only got an out at second base, but Scott King also kindly grounded out to third base – but Mendez would get another shot at it in the ninth inning. Hare grounded out against Daley, but so did Mendez, retired when Lonzo made a ranging play and a perfect zing to beat him to first in a bang-bang play. Alex de Castro singled, but PH Rusty White struck out, which ended Mendez’ streak for good. 4-2 Coons. Lavorano 2-4; Waters 2-3, BB, RBI; Puckeridge 2-4, 2 RBI; Wheatley 6.2 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K, W (1-2);

A win for Wheatley!

We also had all of one more base hit after the third inning…

Tony Lopez? Batting 3-for-his-last-57. With a homer, though, so he stays in the lineup….!

Game 2
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – C Philipps – RF Lopez – CF Suzuki – P Salcido
IND: LF R. White – 2B N. Fernandez – C Poindexter – 1B B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – RF S. King – SS Clover – CF A. Mendez – P Turpeau

Salcido niftily turned a 1-6-3 double play in the first inning after fooling White and Poindexter on base in the first place, with Bill Quinteros (.353, 8 HR, 27 RBI) looking not very happy at all. Salcido walked Anderson and King to begin the bottom 2nd, then got two pops and a K from Turpeau to somehow weasel out again. The Indians appeared to finally nip him in the third inning when he offered ANOTHER leadoff walk to White and Fernandez singled, but White then was caught stealing third base ahead of a wild pitch, and Poindexter and Quinteros made yet more soggy outs to keep the Indians off the bases. The first run in the game was actually a homer to left for Ken Crum in the fourth. It was of the solo variety. The lead didn’t last, because Salcido issued ANOTHER leadoff walk, and this time surrendered a run with a King single and Mendez’ run-scoring groundout in the same inning. To be fair, it wasn’t a one-sided affair – Salcido also *drew* a leadoff walk from Turpeau in the fifth inning, with the Indians hurler going on to smack Malkus with a fastball. Lonzo grounded out, advancing the runners, but Matt Waters stuffed a double into the leftfield corner to send the Coons up 3-1 before being left stranded himself.

After Salcido had a 1-2-3 fifth (!!), the Coons had their first two on again in the sixth, with singles from Philipps and Tony Lopez (!!!!). Suzuki hit into a fielder’s choice, Salcido struck out, but Malkus whipped a double into the gap to get two more runs on the board, yet a Quinteros bloop single and a King homer to left pulled those two runs back.

Poor Bill Nichol then gave up doubles to Waters, Crum, and Lopez (!!!!!) in the seventh inning, getting yanked when Suzuki’s groundout brought in the third run of the inning, 8-3 in total. Crispin batted for Salcido, but grounded out – Lopez’ run scored before that, though, on a wild pitch by Josh Livingston. Two more runs scored against Rich Knowles in the eighth inning as the Indians kept merrily collapsing, while Watson, Sencion, and Cornejo held the Indians scoreless in the last three innings. 11-3 Raccoons! Malkus 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Waters 2-4, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Puckeridge (PH) 1-2, RBI; Crum 2-5, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Ramsay 2-4, BB, RBI; Lopez 3-4, BB, 2B, RBI;

The Indians then successfully conducted a rain dance, getting the Raccoons out of town without having to play them again on Sunday, so our week ended with a 3-2 tally.

In other news

May 13 – Indians OF Angel Mendez (.423, 2 HR, 17 RBI) connects for a triple and an RBI single in an 11-9 win over the Buffaloes to extend a hitting streak to 20 games.
May 13 – The Aces would have to go on without Jim White (.365, 1 HR, 15 RBI) for a month at least; the super utility was out with a broken thumb.
May 15 – The Titans lose catcher Ian Davison (.297, 0 HR, 8 RBI) for the year; the 26-year-old had torn an anterior cruciate ligament.
May 16 – CHA C/1B Kevin Weese (.302, 1 HR, 15 RBI) would have to sit out for about two weeks after spraining his thumb.
May 16 – The Gold Sox acquire SP Chris Jones (3-1, 2.68 ERA) from the Falcons for two prospects.
May 18 – A triple by OF Felix Rojas (.286, 1 HR, 13 RBI) is the only hit for Dallas in a 3-0 loss to the Warriors’ #5 prospect SP Ricardo Montoya (2-1, 2.23 ERA) and two relievers.

FL Player of the Week: SAC 1B Steve Wyatt (.320, 7 HR, 25 RBI), hitting .500 (10-20) with 2 HR, 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL INF Zach Suggs (.375, 12 HR, 37 RBI), slugging .455 (10-22) with 4 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Sunday’s rainout moves into a double-header in June, but it’s not like the road trip will be over any time soon. We’re now off to Boston for four games there, and then it’s still on to Atlanta and Vegas before we’ll return home at the end of the month.

…and just when Tony Lopez finally found his ******* stick!!

To be honest, I have no clue anymore where this season’s gonna go. They might lose a hundred. If we can figure out a way to patch the pen and maybe even a competent fifth starter, they might even win 90. I have no idea. The cold hard facts are that we have four starters with a sub-3 ERA (although Wheats does not quite qualify at this point), so that’s gotta be worth something…?

Is Salcido finally fixed? And Sencion, too? They both looked like utter trash last year, and so far they’ve been … well, there are some hints of writing on the wall, but so far the results at least have been very palatable.

The Coons would skip Baker’s next turn by moving Raffy to Monday and then pushing Baker to the end of the line. He was really the odd one out, but in-house options were slim. You could try Alfaro, but he had low stamina. Argenziano still had bat splinters between his fluffy cheeks, and both Josh Mayo and Kyle Brobeck were having a rough time in AAA. Same for Matt Dixon, who wasn’t even on the 40-man anymore.

Fun Fact: The Coons have already used 18 pitchers this year.

Not including Raul Medrano, who now had a 7.88 ERA in AAA and wasn’t gonna come up again any time soon.

Of the 18 pitchers, ten had an ERA of 3.38 (Flores) or better. Three were in the fours (Alfaro, Daley, Baker). And the last five were well over the fours: Jim Larson (8.10), Eric Reese (9.00), Ryan Harmer (10.29), Mike Snyder (10.80), and Cameron Argenziano (11.74) – none of whom were currently on the roster anymore.

And for good reason!!

Even those FIPs are ghastly. Jesus, Maldonado, and Joseph…: 5.44 (Reese), 5.67 (Argenziano), 6.19 (Larson), 8.19 (Harmer), and 12.19 (Snyder).