[Westheim]

Raccoons (34-41) vs. Aces (34-42) – June 24-26, 2052

The new week started with a set against the Aces, who had swept the Critters the first time these two teams had met this season. They were fourth in the South, but already 16 games out of the lead. Fifth in runs scored, ninth in runs allowed, and a -24 run differential for this team, which could hit homers, couldn’t steal bases much at all, and had creaky defense in addition to the second-worst bullpen by ERA.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (2-0, 2.89 ERA) vs. Larry Broad (7-5, 3.81 ERA)
Matt Dixon (0-2, 5.93 ERA) vs. Medardo Regueir (4-9, 4.87 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (7-5, 2.79 ERA) vs. Josh Wilson (6-4, 3.47 ERA)

Righty, lefty, righty, and hopefully something else than losey, losey, losey. The Aces were down a number of regulars, including Chris Cornelius, Brent Cramer, and Travis Stone, all on the 60-day DL.

Every regular – more or less the top five in the order – was due a day off this week since the next off day wouldn’t come around until the actual All Star break. Since the damn Elks – due later in the week – didn’t have a southpaw starter, Pucks and del Toro would probably start with sitting down on Tuesday then.

Game 1
LVA: 1B Blair – RF Austin – CF van de Wouw – 3B Welter – C Weese – LF Bishop – 2B J. White – SS Hager – P Broad
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B DeMarco – RF Maldonado – P Wheatley

The Aces that didn’t steal bases stole two bases in the first two innings; Dave Blair was stranded in the first, but Jim White singled after a Pucks bobble allowed Steve Bishop on base in the second inning. Bishop made for third base on the White single, and White made for second base on a pitch to Brenton Hager, who grounded out to plate Bishop’s unearned run. The inning ended with Broad, but an Aubrey Austin double, Neville van de Wouw’s single, and another double by Jeremy Welter drove home two earned runs in the third inning… Jim White then homered off Wheatley in the fourth, 4-0, and I was mentally ready for the All Star Game… or offseason, even. The Coons’ first hit was a del Toro single in the bottom 4th, and their second hit a 2-run bomb by Sean Suggs, cutting the gap in half.

By the fifth, Wheats had shaken off the jitters and put another three zeroes on the board (not that he had put up many earlier…), but the Coons’ hitting efforts remained… sporadic. Juan del Toro’s homer in the bottom 6th cut the gap in half again, 4-3, and by the bottom 7th Broad wobbled, walked Maldo and Waters, and Lonzo scratched out a 2-out single. The bases were full for Pucks, who hit a drive to center… but also more or less right at van de Wouw to kill the inning. The eighth was uneventful, with Brett Lillis jr. holding the line. The ninth, less so. Paul Crisler gave up a walk and four hits, all of them doubles, to all fields, and four runs, to nail down Wheats’ first loss of the season for good. 8-3 Aces. Del Toro 2-4, HR, RBI;

No, of course no Coon reached base in the ninth inning, either.

Game 2
LVA: 1B Blair – RF Austin – CF van de Wouw – 3B Welter – C Weese – LF Bishop – 2B J. White – SS Hager – P Regueir
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – 3B DeMarco – CF Crum – RF Glodowski – LF Sivertson – 1B Maldonado – C Brewer – P Dixon

Dixon made his last start for the Coons, and I knew it pretty soon. The Coons went up 1-0 in the first inning when Lonzo forced out Waters, but stole second and came around on a DeMarco single to left-center, but Dixon blew it with three full-count walks to the 6-7-8 batters in the second, then gave up an RBI single to Regueir. Somehow gross incompetence by Dave Blair and Aubrey Austin kept the Aces from tacking on more runs. Fireworks gave the Aces a 4-1 lead in the top of the third; Jeremy Welter homered, Dixon walked Kevin Weese, and then was taken even deeper by Steve Bishop.

Somehow that loss didn’t yet stick, thanks to an error by Welter in the bottom 3rd. He misfiled a Crum grounder with Waters and Lonzo in scoring position and one out, allowing the Coons to get back to 4-2 with the tying runs on the corners. Glodowski, the useless pelt, whiffed, but Regueir dinked Mitch Sivertson, and then Maldo was down 0-2 before raking a liner over Welter’s hanging head and up the line for a score-knotting double. Aaron Brewer, also useless, popped out to strand a pair, and Dixon gave up another pair of rockets to van de Wouw and Welter to fall 5-4 behind in the fourth inning, after which he wasn’t seen again, dead or alive.

The Coons didn’t know better than to go to Victor Salcido now, which went well for approximately one inning before he got taken deep by Aubrey Austin for the rightfielder’s 18th homer of the year in the top 6th, then shuffled the bags full with more ineptitude and also an error by Waters. Glodowski hit into a double play in the fifth, Salcido bunted into a double play in the sixth, DeMarco slapped one into a double play to end the game eventually, and I calmly sought solace suckling on the neck of a bottle of Capt’n Coma. 6-4 Aces. Waters 1-2, 3 BB, 2B; DeMarco 2-5, RBI; Crum 2-4, RBI; Larson 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Matt Dixon (0-3, 7.13 ERA) was then duly disposed of, and not only disposed of, but also tossed onto waivers. Sunday’s starter: Mr. Question, Mark.

Maybe Cameron Argenziano, who had been vanquished in just 5.1 innings by the Albuquerque Vanquishers on this very day. He would at least line up. Against the damn Elks.

Lonzo got the day off on Wednesday. Waters and Crum to go.

Game 3
LVA: 1B Blair – RF Austin – CF van de Wouw – 3B Welter – C Weese – LF Bishop – 2B J. White – SS Hager – P Jo. Wilson
POR: 2B Waters – SS Sivertson – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – P Taki

Hits cost extra on Wednesday. While I looked pretty unhappy in general, Maud managed to coax a shy semi-grin from my sulky snout whenever Taki carved up another Vegas batter. Through five innings he gave up a Jim White single and struck out six, but on the other paw the Raccoons amounted to little more than that themselves, sitting on three hits and just as many runs – diddly squat. Taki struck out Wilson and got two grounders in the sixth, while the Coons got a leadoff walk from Sivertson. Pucks then singled to right, and Crum singled to left – three on, nobody out. Slappy, I’ll need the bottle opener for a fresh serving from the Capt’n. del Toro duly rumbled into a force at home on a grounder to Jim White, but Sean Suggs, in the perfect double play spot, for once hit one up instead of down, and rushed a 2-run double into the gap. The Aces walked Crispin with intent for reasons best known to them, but Suzuki managed a sac fly to left. Taki batted with two outs, fell to 0-2, then slung a sorry wailer to shallow center for a single. Suggs rumbled home on the play, giving Taki his first RBI in the ABL and a 4-0 lead. Make that 7-0 on Matt Waters’ VERY LOUD 3-run homer to right. Kevin Weese, the miserable **** countered with a homer off Taki, insisting on ruining his shutout bid in the top of the seventh, but that was the last base runner the technically-rookie allowed in eight innings, whiffing up two pawfuls. 7-1 Coons. Puckeridge 2-4; Suggs 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Taki 8.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 10 K, W (8-5) and 1-3, RBI;

Raccoons (35-43) vs. Canadiens (41-35) – June 27-30, 2052

The Elks were up 4-3 on the Coons this year, and I feared the worst. They were only ninth in runs scored, but conceded the second-fewest runs in the CL, and our haphazard scoring was the go-to punchline on Friday Night Pre-Recorded at this point.

Projected matchups:
Rafael de la Cruz (5-4, 3.18 ERA) vs. Mario Godinez (6-5, 3.89 ERA)
David Barel (7-6, 2.98 ERA) vs. Federico Purificao (2-7, 3.87 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (2-1, 3.02 ERA) vs. Anton Jesus (4-7, 4.42 ERA)
Cameron Argenziano (0-0) vs. Jesse Lausch (1-0, 0.66 ERA)

All the upcoming starters were right-handed. Lausch was an almost 28-year-old rookie with two career starts under his belt.

I smelled a sweep in the morning air…

Game 1
VAN: 3B A. Soto – RF J. Shaw – SS Mullen – CF D. Moreno – 1B Wheeler – 2B Nicholson – LF Escobido – C Julio Diaz – P Godinez
POR: SS Lavorano – 2B DeMarco – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – P de la Cruz

Raffy de la Cruz knew how to get a pitch count up, throwing 57 pitches without allowing a run in the first three innings. Three hits, a walk, five strikeouts, and a bunch of full counts helped him get there. He was also the first Critter to land a base hit, singling to right in the bottom 3rd with one out. Lonzo and DeMarco also dropped singles after that, making for three on and nobody out again – and as a side note, Mario Godinez threw all of 25 pitches to 11 batters. Six more popped out both Pucks and Crum, and we didn’t score. I did get into a loud argument with Honeypaws though, which of the batters in the lineup should be drowned in a barrel first.

Raffy hit another single in the fifth, but the Coons never scored for him, and he got ground to the finest dust still visible by the sixth inning. Damian Moreno hit a leadoff single, stole second, and was on third base after two long at-bats with Jeff Wheeler and Brian Nicholson that left de la Cruz on 112 pitches – more than enough. Crisler getting Angel Escobido to ground out gave Raffy a no-decision. Same for Crisler, with the Elks only breaking through in the eighth inning against Larson, who allowed a single to Moreno, who stole second, and threw a wild pitch, before walking Jeff Wheeler anyway. Lillis entered, but the Coons couldn’t get two on Tim Turner’s grounder to second, and Moreno scored. The Elks then added three line drive singles to left off Kevin Hitchcock in the ninth inning for an unchallenged win in the opener. 2-0 Canadiens. De la Cruz 5.2 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 6 K and 2-2;

(sigh!!)

Things got complicated with pouring rain on Friday, leading to a rainout and double-header for Saturday. We didn’t change the order of pitchers at this point, although we’d now also have a short-rest issue for next Wednesday.

Game 2
VAN: RF J. Shaw – C L. Miranda – 1B Wheeler – CF D. Moreno – SS Mullen – LF Escobido – 3B Nicholson – 2B Clevidence – P Purificao
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – C Suggs – LF Sivertson – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – P Barel

But let’s tackle the catastrophes one after the other. Sharp hits by Dan Mullen and Doug Clevidence, together with a Crispin error and a well-placed RBI groundout by the opposing pitcher put the damn Elks up 2-0 in the second inning. An Escobido homer ran the score to 3-0 in the fourth. In between the Coons got singles from Crispin and Maldo, and a Waters double – but in different innings, and none of the three Critters ended up actually ******* scoring.

It wasn’t until the sixth that the Coons put an actual ******* run together on Crum and Suggs doubles. Barel got stuck in the seventh, but was dug out by Justin Johns after giving up a single and a walk to Wheeler and Moreno, respectively. Del Toro batted for Johns to begin the bottom 7th and homered to right, 3-2. Sivertson was nailed and Crispin singled in the eighth, all with two outs. When the Elks brought righty Ryan Porter as the third pitcher of the inning, the Coons batted Mikio Suzuki for Maldo. They ran a full count before Suzuki shoved a ball through the left side for game-tying RBI single. Glodowski then popped out for Larson… Tim Turner doubled to left off Paul Miles to begin the ninth inning, but that go-ahead-again run withered at second base on straight poor outs by the 1-2-3 batters against Miles, thus allowing the Critters’ own 1-2-3 to walk off with just a lonely run. Matt Waters came close – tripling to the base of the fence in centerfield put the winning run just 90 feet away, and with nobody out. Oh boy, Slappy. (takes another gulp of Capt’n Coma) This one’s gonna be good. Actually, the game ended on just one more pitch – Lonzo flew out to Damian Moreno in center, but it was deep enough to get Waters home with the winner. 4-3 Coons. Waters 2-5, 3B, 2B; Crispin 3-4; Suzuki (PH) 1-1, RBI; del Toro (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

Johns, Larson, and Miles had pitched in this game, which left five men in the pen for the second game behind Wheats: Hitchcock, Lillis, Crisler, plus the smelly options of Salcido and Lenderink. The latter was virtually guaranteed an appearance in case of Wheats departing early and in unfortunate circumstances, given that we needed that roster spot for the Sunday starter.

The second leg of the double-header also marked the end of the first half of the season, mathematically.

Game 3
VAN: 3B A. Soto – RF J. Shaw – SS Mullen – CF D. Moreno – 1B Wheeler – LF T. Turner – 2B Nicholson – C Julio Diaz – P A. Jesus
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – LF del Toro – 1B Puckeridge – 3B Crispin – RF Glodowski – CF DeMarco – C Brewer – P Wheatley

Neither team managed a base hit the first time through; Wheats nicked Joshua Shaw in the first inning, but otherwise didn’t put anybody on base. Glodowski drew a walk as the only Coons runner in the first three innings, but Pucks then singled with two outs in the fourth, only to get stranded. Jeff Wheeler answered with a double to center to begin the fifth inning for the Elks and came around to score on two productive outs. Ballgame, probably. Because, well, we just can’t ******* score. Or pitch. Or anything. Anything except eating, sleeping, and farting.

The Coons battery then reached the corners with a pair of 2-out singles in the bottom 5th, followed by Anton Jesus losing Matt Waters in a full count to fill ‘em up for Lonzo. But Lonzo grounded out to Soto, and nobody scored…… Instead Jesus singled and Shaw doubled him home in the top 6th, 2-0. That was gonna be that, then, huh? No. Pucks reached in the bottom 6th when Jesus issued another free pass, and then Ed Crispin rocked a homer to left-center to tie the game at two. Not that the Elks were fazed. Tim Turner singled, Nicholson walked, Jerry Outram emerged from the shadows and lobbed a pinch-hit single before swiftly returning to the shadows, and another run scored on Jesus’ groundout, restoring the old 2-run lead over Wheatley in the top 7th… That was all they needed. Jesus completed eight allowing just four base hits, and Bernardino Risso didn’t exactly throw out the calf with the bathwater in the ninth inning either… 4-2 Canadiens. Puckeridge 1-2, 2 BB;

Lenderink never pitched (probably for the better) in his time up and was demoted again to make room for debutee Cameron Argenziano. The 24-year-old second-rounder from 2047 had a splendid changeup… and the rest was rather meh. He threw left-handed, and for a 3.55 ERA in 13 starts in St. Pete this year.

Game 4
VAN: RF J. Shaw – C L. Miranda – 1B Wheeler – CF D. Moreno – SS Mullen – LF Escobido – 3B Nicholson – 2B Clevidence – P Lausch
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 1B Crum – LF del Toro – C Suggs – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – P Argenziano

On Argenziano’s second pitch, Shaw singled to center. Luis Miranda walked, and I braced myself for seeing Salcido pitch in the third inning, but after that Wheeler grounded out, Moreno whiffed, and Mullen grounded out again, and nobody scored. But the Elks hit a leadoff single in every inning, it seemed. Escobido got one through the right side in the second, but was forced out and the Elks didn’t score there, either, nor in the third inning on another Shaw single to begin the frame. This time Wheeler walked and Moreno hit another single to left, but trying to score from second base, Shaw was thrown out at the plate by del Toro. Mullen floated out to Mikio Suzuki to end the inning. The fourth inning did NOT see a leadoff single for the Elks – but instead Escobido reached on an error by Ed Crispin… Nicholson walked, but Doug Clevidence found a double play and Lausch struck out.

Argenziano then added two 1-2-3 innings, and also hit a double in the bottom 6th, which concluded with him stranded and the game still scoreless, because … well. It was just gonna be that, I guess. Lonzo hit a single in the bottom 7th, but was stranded just as mercilessly as Argenziano the inning before, and the pitcher then got stuck in the eighth. Shaw singled, Moreno walked, and he was lifted in a double switch with two outs, Hitchcock and Glodowski entering for him and del Toro. The Elks countered with Jerry Outram batting for Mullen, but grounded out easily, and then was replaced in situ by Alex Soto – he never played an inning in the field for the entire four-game set. Hitchcock got bombarded by more left-handed pinch-hitters in the ninth inning, gave up a single to Turner, then an RBI double to Clevidence, and that was probably gonna be that. Bernardino Risso came into the bottom 9th against Glodowski, gave up a screaming leadoff double to left, and I couldn’t wait to find out how we’d **** that chance away. Waters grounded out, moving the tying run to third base. Lonzo struck out, moving the tying run nowhere in particular. In DeSpair, DeMarco batted for Pucks against the lefty closer and hit a fly to center. It was not much of a hurdle for DeMoreno to send the fans home DeMoralized. 1-0 Canadiens. Lavorano 2-3; Glodowski 1-1, 2B; Argenziano 7.2 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 6 K and 1-2, 2B;

In other news

June 24 – TOP SP Kennedy Adkins (7-4, 2.81 ERA) hangs a 3-hit shutout on the Gold Sox, who get routed 12-0.
June 26 – LAP RF Matt Diskin (.386, 10 HR, 37 RBI) would have to pause the hitting and sit down for a month with a strained rib cage muscle.
June 28 – OCT SP Victor Marquez (8-4, 2.74 ERA) and CL Dale Mrazek (5-7, 6.03 ERA, 17 SV) pitch a combined 1-hit, 1-0 shutout against the Condors, who only have a double by LF Tim Duncan (.238, 9 HR, 42 RBI) to go for them.
June 28 – Dallas SP Bubba Wolinsky (6-6, 5.01 ERA) will miss a full year with Tommy John surgery scheduled for a torn UCL.
June 30 – Miners outfielder Jayden Ward (.301, 1 HR, 29 RBI) will be out until the middle of August after breaking his wrist.

FL Player of the Week: SFW INF Julio Moriel (.327, 1 HR, 31 RBI), batting .533 (16-30) with 2 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS 1B Larry Rodriguez (.275, 20 HR, 51 RBI), batting .400 (10-25) with 5 HR, 7 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SAC 1B Steve Wyatt (.331, 17 HR, 58 RBI), socking .352 with 8 HR, 29 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: BOS 1B Larry Rodriguez (.275, 20 HR, 51 RBI), brutalizing pitchers at .333 with 11 HR, 19 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: LAP CL Joy-shan Kuo (5-4, 2.90 ERA, 23 SV), going 4-0 with a 1.69 ERA, 7 SV, 9 K in 13 appearances
CL Pitcher of the Month: LVA SP Larry Broad (9-5, 3-54 ERA), winning all six of his starts with a 1.36 ERA, 33 K
FL Rookie of the Month: DAL 3B/RF Leo Arguello (.403, 0 HR, 5 RBI), who made his debut this month
CL Rookie of the Month: LVA 1B/OF Dave Blair (.291, 1 HR, 13 RBI), all of it this month (but he made his debut back in 2050)

Complaints and stuff

(pokes Cameron Argenziano on the way through the clubhouse) Last chance to quit and learn a decent trade, rook.

No, I don’t think we’ll end up anywhere nice this year. For now, we’re behind the Loggers. The Loggers…! And when I talked to Argenziano, there was bickering in at least two other corners of the room.

Ten games under .500 and 10 runs scored more than conceded. That was somehow more fun last year, all in reverse.

Funny story. I could have had Larry Rodriguez for almost free in a trade with the Titans just ten days ago. But I thought, nah, I can’t, I don’t have a spot for him, really. (hits head against door frame quite violently)

David Barel approached me again for a new contract. I asked him why he with his talent would want to stick around this ********* ******** of ******, to which he didn’t have a great answer at the ready, to be honest. I think he’s just after Nick Valdes’ money…!

The international free agent teen boys now hit the market on Monday. For the Coons, it’s the Crusaders, Titans in an East Coast road trip next week, and then I’ll have three days off to go down the Willamette in a barrel and, with any luck, get smashed against some rocks.

Fun Fact: Mikio Suzuki is batting .357 with runners in scoring position.

He’s going in CLEANUP!