[Westheim]

Raccoons (51-61) vs. Crusaders (56-54) – August 8-10, 2050

The season-long string continued with the Crusaders, who stepped in for three games beginning on Monday. Was it Monday? Was it still summer? It was hard to tell after a sip of or five of Asbestos. Anyway. (giggles) New York had the fewest runs scored in the CL, which was not helping their pathetic attempts to be relevant for the first time in years and years, and they were by now 18 games out. They allowed the fourth-fewest runs, with a -11 run differential (Critters: -49). New York led the season series, 8-4.

Projected matchups:
Victor Merino (5-13, 4.29 ERA) vs. Jeremy Baker (6-13, 3.90 ERA)
Danny Hall (2-1, 1.06 ERA) vs. Jeff Johnson (15-4, 1.90 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (8-8, 4.02 ERA) vs. Carlos Malla (5-10, 5.35 ERA)

The Crusaders had been rained out on Sunday, so they had a chance to shuffle the rotation. As it was, we expected southpaws on either end of the set, with the right-handed Pitcher of the Year candidate Jeff Johnson in the middle. While they had a day to spare, the Coons had played a double-header on Saturday, so Wheats was a bit of a question mark on Wednesday. One idea was to pencil him in for five innings and plan with Paul Miles for length after that.

That aside, the Crusaders had a mountain of injuries weighing them down, being without Jim White, Ryan Fentress, Andrew Russ (grumble grumble), Ken Mills, and a few relievers.

Game 1
NYC: RF O. Sanchez – CF Ceballos – SS Gates – LF D. Rivera – 3B Bent – 1B Leal – 2B E. Zuniga – C O. Ramirez – P J. Baker
POR: SS Lavorano – 2B Castner – 1B Maldonado – 3B Waters – CF Lamotta – RF Samples – C Jimenez – LF Watt – P Merino

Merino continued to be a pain in the bum, allowing three singles, a walk, a wild pitch, and two runs in a highly annoying first inning. Danny Rivera singled home Omar Sanchez, while Prince Gates scored on the wild pitch for New York. It got even better in the second inning, which began with a 4-pitch walk to Omar Ramirez. Baker bunted, and Matt Waters threw that one away for two bases. Sanchez whiffed, but Mario Ceballos’ grounder to right was bungled by Maldo for another error, conceding Ramirez’ run. Gates singled home Baker, while a wild pitch plated Ceballos before Merino filled the bases with a walk to Art Bent and nailing Pedro Leal. Somehow, Edwin Zuniga left three on flying out to center, but it was already 5-0 anyway. Those three runs were all unearned, but I was lusting to tear Merino’s ******* head off anyway.

The Coons were gone in the minimum the first time through; while Waters hit a single, he was doubled up by Lamotta. After Prince Gates homered to make it 6-0 in the top 4th, Castner reached on an infield single, and Maldo chipped a 2-piece to left, 6-2. Merino was gone after five ****** innings, with Landeta following in with allowing another run on three more singles in the sixth. It was just the worst game – y’know, of the sort the Coons delivered three or four of every week now. Hitchcock gave up one more run in the ninth, as if it mattered. 8-2 Crusaders. Maldonado 2-4, HR, 2 RBI;

Game 2
NYC: RF O. Sanchez – CF Ceballos – SS Gates – LF D. Rivera – 3B Bent – 2B E. Zuniga – 1B D. Hernandez – C O. Ramirez – P J. Johnson
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – 1B Maldonado – 2B Waters – 3B Crispin – C Gonzalez – CF Suzuki – RF Glodowski – P Hall

Neither me nor Honeypaws had any hope of the Coons dinking Johnson, so we instead dinked the basket of muffins that Maud had wisely brought in. Of course, the first three Coons then all reached base with a leadoff walk drawn by Watt and singles by Lonzo and Maldo. Of course they also didn’t score. Waters popped out, Crispin whiffed, and Gonzalez sailed out to Ceballos to strand three. Glodowski hit a double in the second, Maldo and Waters had singles in the third – none of them scored. But the Crusaders joined the dinking, merrily roughing up the rookie Hall. The two Omars hit singles in the third, with a run scoring on Ceballos’ groundout, and they piled three on him in an endless fourth inning with three hits and two walks offered by Hall. Edwin Zuniga doubled home two more in the fifth inning, 6-0. Worst offense in the league, my ***.

The Coons didn’t eek out a run until the eighth inning, when Lonzo singled, stole a base, and was driven in by Matt Waters. That was their rally against Johnson, who did not appear again for the ninth inning, with Melvin Lucero getting a 6-1 lead, because yes of course, with the game in the bin, our pen could always chain zeroes together, but never with a ******* lead. Suzuki singled, Glodowski doubled, and two were in scoring position with nobody out in the bottom 9th. Jimenez then lined out to Art Bent, Watt popped out to first, and Lonzo went down on strikes, once more scoring absolutely ******* nobody. 6-1 Crusaders. Lavorano 2-5; Maldonado 2-4; Waters 2-4, RBI; Glodowski 3-4, 2 2B;

(licks an Asbestos-soaked muffin) Maud, we’ll gonna need more of these.

So much more of these. (rolls into a ball with Honeypaws locked up in the middle of all the limbs)

Game 3
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – 3B Gates – LF D. Rivera – C O. Ramirez – RF Garris – 1B Haertling – CF Ceballos – 2B Bent – P Malla
POR: SS Lavorano – 2B Castner – 1B Maldonado – 3B Waters – C Gonzalez – RF Glodowski – CF Lamotta – LF Sivertson – P Wheatley

Wheats assured everybody he was good enough for six, which probably meant he aimed for a shutout, but we’d be content with five good innings, with Paul Miles to follow on. But the game sure began like more of the same. The Crusaders sprayed three singles the first time through (but didn’t score a run), while the Coons got a leadoff double from Lonzo in the bottom 1st and left him on base. Wheatley held the Crusaders off the board through four, and then Matt Glodowski even gave the Coons a *lead* when he singled home Waters from second base in the bottom 4th. Waters had notched a leadoff walk and his 11th stolen base of the year against Malla. Lamotta then found a double play to stop the offensive shenanigans.

Wheats went through five innings on four hits, no runs, and 70 pitches, and his spot was up in the bottom 5th. He hit for himself in the bottom 5th, a 1-2-3 affair, and returned for the sixth, getting Rivera on a grounder, Ramirez on strikes, and then got his bum homered out of the park by Josh Garris. He completed six with a K to Ed Haertling, but had to settle for a no-decision, ever unhappily. Maldo hit into a double play with Castner aboard in the sixth, and Lamotta found yet another double play to hit into by the seventh. Bottom 8th, still tied after two scoreless from Miles, Sivertson opened with a single to center (!), and Ed Crispin singled to right from the #9 spot, where he had entered in a double switch with Miles earlier (Miles was in the #2 spot). Sivertson went to third, Rivera threw there late, and Crispin snuck up into second base. Runners in scoring position, no outs, and I reached for the Asbestos. The Crusaders reached for righty Taylor Stabile, with Lonzo lining out to third base off him. Suzuki batted for Miles, grounded back to the pitcher, and the runners still held. Maldo hit a drive to left, but that was caught by Haertling in leftfield – it ended the inning, but also Haertling’s day out as he slammed into the sidewall at full steam. Pedro Leal would replace him. Willie Cruz held the Crusaders to the tie with a 1-2-3 ninth, with Gonzalez reaching base with a 1-out single against Stabile in the bottom 9th. Glodowski grounded out, but Watt singled for Lamotta, moving the winning run to third. Jimenez batted for Sivertson, walked, and the bags were full for Crispin. Ed didn’t have to do much more than hold still for two pitches. At 1-1 in the game and 1-1 in the count, Stabile leaned in on Omar Ramirez’ signs so intently, he dropped the ball out of his glove while toeing the slab – it was a walkoff balk…! 2-1 Blighters. Castner 1-2, BB; Watt (PH) 1-1; Sivertson 2-3; Crispin 1-1; Wheatley 6.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K; Miles 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

Hey, a win! Somehow.

Raccoons (52-63) @ Dallas (67-47) – August 12-14, 2050

My only hope was that no one would die on the trip. I had already marked three losses in the pocket schedule. And that was with the Stars not even up to snuff. They were second in the FL West, but 15 games out – that division was also long over – in fact, the Miners’ 6-game lead over the Blue Sox was the only single-digit gap between first and second in the entire league. Dallas was fourth in offense, third in pitching, but with a creaky pen. Besides their #2 rotation, they didn’t sparkle in any one category, but were mostly solid across the board. This was the fourth straight year we’d meet in the regular season. We had lost all of the previous three series, plus the 2048 World Series, but none of those had been a sweep. Well, that’s what we’re here for now!

Projected matchups:
Bubba Wolinsky (5-11, 4.42 ERA) vs. Nick Whetsell (13-4, 3.30 ERA)
Victor Salcido (11-5, 3.25 ERA) vs. Ruben Guzman (7-7, 3.36 ERA)
Danny Hall (2-2, 3.13 ERA) vs. Arthur Pickett (11-10, 3.42 ERA)

All right-handers. The Coons dropped Adam Samples (.208, 0 HR, 9 RBI) for an extra lefty stick… (deep breath) … Evan Van Hoy (.211, 0 HR, 7 RBI).

Game 1
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – RF Maldonado – 2B Waters – 3B Crispin – C R. Gonzalez – 1B Van Hoy – CF Suzuki – P Wolinsky
DAL: CF O. Gonzalez – SS R. Martinez – LF del Toro – 1B D. Martinez – 3B K. Leon – C Ater – RF D. Wright – 2B B. Oliver – P Whetsell

Portland got an unearned 1-0 lead and a Van Hoy sac fly in the second inning when Waters reached on an error, Crispin doubled, and for once, just once, they didn’t croak 1-2-3. At least not without a sac fly by a random quad-A bum. It was of course all for nothing, because Bubba Wolinsky was just plain old awful again, put on Kenny Leon and Mike Ater in the bottom 2nd, and then got taken well deep by the #8 hitter, Brian Oliver for his second homer of the season. Wolinsky still made it through seven in the inning, simply because the Stars hit the ball hard, but right at people for the next five innings. They were held to six hits through seven innings, and the three runs they already had, but that also figured to be enough, with the Coons on five hits, hardly reaching base, and when they did, they were caught stealing, like Lonzo in the sixth and Waters in the seventh…

Suzuki chipped a 1-out single in the eighth to bring the tying run back to the plate. Lamotta batted for Wolinsky and hit a double into the left-center gap, placing the tying runs in scoring position, but I had seen that movie before. Watt hit a sac fly to left, but Lonzo popped out to Dario Martinez, and the tying run was left on. Dallas pulled the run back with a Dario Martinez double off Sencion, and a 2-out RBI single Ater clipped to right against Porter in the bottom 8th, 4-2, but against Dale Mrazek in the ninth the Raccoons didn’t get beyond a Waters single and stranding him on second base anyway… 4-2 Stars. Waters 2-4; Lamotta (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Game 2
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – RF Maldonado – 2B Waters – 3B Crispin – C R. Gonzalez – 1B Van Hoy – CF Suzuki – P Salcido
DAL: CF O. Gonzalez – SS R. Martinez – LF del Toro – RF D. Martinez – C A. Mercado – 3B K. Leon – 1B Umbreiro – 2B Gould – P Ru. Guzman

Maldo doubled home Lonzo for his 50th RBI of the year in the first inning, but Salcido was on a losing run, and I had no hopes. Salcido held on for two innings, however, even though that took him over 40 pitches with many long counts, and then the Raccoons added to the lead (!). Maldo hit another double in the top 3rd, leading off, and Waters walked. They were on the corners two outs later, when Van Hoy snuck a shy RBI single. Guzman casually walked Suzuki to fill them up with two outs for Salcido, who *was* hitting .234 with a homer, but grounded out to Ricardo Martinez. Maldo hit ANOTHER double his next time up, then plating Lonzo again for a 3-0 lead in the fourth, Lonzo having also hit a double over the head of Omar Gonzalez.

And then it all went bust at once, once more. Dario Martinez opened the bottom 4th with a homer to right, 3-1. Anton Mercado singled to left. Salcido walked all of the next three batters, pushing home a run with a free pass to Thomas Gould, and then had Guzman at 1-2, but gave up a 2-run single to flip the score to 4-3 Dallas. Gonzalez popped out and Ricardo Martinez hit into a double play after that, but I was stunned, with my snout agape, and I didn’t move or blink until the seventh inning stretch, which at least meant I caught nothing of the 6-spot the Stars put on Salcido and Porter in the fifth inning, or of Maldo’s fourth double of the day in the top 6th. He was having way too much fun, though, trying to get a triple and was thrown out by Gonzalez.

The Stars, once up 10-3, shifted back two gears, with the Raccoons making no obvious rally noises. The only thing still to look forward to for us was Maldo’s fifth plate appearance in the ninth inning, where he came up against righty Alex Mancilla with one out and nobody on base because why would there be anybody on base? He popped out. Waters reached on an error, but Crispin was rung up. 10-3 Stars. Lavorano 2-5, 2B; Maldonado 4-5, 4 2B, 2 RBI; Van Hoy 2-4, RBI; Miles 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Yes, Maldo, your ice bath is over there. Your schnitzel plate today is on me though. That was the most fun we had all year. – Victor, I don’t think you should bicker about your no-hitter now after THIS ******* start!

Game 3
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – RF Maldonado – 2B Waters – 3B Crispin – CF Suzuki – 1B Van Hoy – C Jimenez – P Hall
DAL: CF O. Gonzalez – SS R. Martinez – LF del Toro – 1B D. Martinez – C A. Mercado – 3B K. Leon – RF Umbreiro – 2B B. Oliver – P Pickett

This would have been Merino’s turn, but I didn’t want to see any of him right now. Three singles through the right side and a Maldonado error made it 2-0 in the bottom 1st anyway. The Coons loaded the bags with their 5-6-7 batters and one out in the top 2nd, but Juan Jimenez found the double play, 6-4-3, with no issue. Hall went only five innings, steadily leaking runners, with five hits and three walks against him. He allowed only one more run though, when Anton Mercado drove home Juan del Toro in the bottom 3rd, so the score was obviously 3-0 after five innings.

Maldo did come up as the tying run in the sixth though, after Pickett walked Watt and Lonzo doubled to center, and with nobody out. Maldo popped out, Waters grounded out, and Crispin was rung up. Only Waters got home a run, his 55th RBI of the year, which was the sad-sack team lead. The Stars answered by tearing Danny Landeta a new one, driving three hits and notching a walk in the bottom 6th, then ran themselves out of the inning on Ricardo Martinez’ 2-out double to right. Oliver scored from third, but Gonzalez was thrown out trying to do the same by Maldo, ending the inning at 5-1. Sencion and Hitchcock would add scoreless relief after that as if there was still something to win here. In fact, Pickett went on to pitch a complete-game 4-hitter… 5-1 Stars.

In other news

August 8 – It’s a cycle for SAC 3B Mike Crenshaw (.288, 13 HR, 59 RBI), who goes 4-for-4 in a 5-4 win over the Warriors, connecting for every hit once and driving in all the Sacramento runs. It’s the third cycle in the ABL this year, and the second ever for the Scorpions (Pablo Sanchez, 2021).
August 8 – Loggers outfielder Will McIntyre (.302, 8 HR, 55 RBI) knocks out five hits and knocks in five runs in a 14-7 shootout win over the Indians, also missing the cycle by the triple.
August 9 – SAL OF Mike Gray (.254, 4 HR, 20 RBI) is ruled out for the season with a concussion.
August 13 – SFB RF Joe Ritchey (.225, 16 HR, 57 RBI) is also out for the year with a concussion.
August 14 – OCT SP Juan Ramos (15-5, 2.57 ERA) 2-hits the Capitals for a 6-0 shutout win. He strikes out eight.
August 14 – The Warriors have only three hits in ten innings against the Titans, but squeeze out a 1-0 win on a walkoff sac fly for Julio Moriel (.324, 3 HR, 35 RBI), bringing in 1B Jason Schaack (.250, 3 HR, 22 RBI), who had landed the team’s third and final hit with a leadoff double in that bottom 10th.

FL Player of the Week: SAC 3B Mike Crenshaw (.292, 14 HR, 63 RBI), hitting .478 (11-23) with 2 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL RF/LF/1B Will McIntyre (.312, 9 HR, 60 RBI), batting .600 (15-25) with 2 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I hope you enjoyed National Concussion Week. I didn’t. Hit my head against the doorframe with vigor and repeatedly in the hotel in Dallas and also at home at various times this week, so maybe the booze is masking the symptoms from that.

Also, can someone answer that ringing phone, please?

We won a game on a walkoff balk and apart from that were outromped, 34-11 in terms of runs. Only two games were even vaguely close. Would Ed Crispin have made us a winner at all if Stabile hadn’t balked home the winning run on Wednesday? Nah. And now – another 44 games of THAT.

Next up: 2-week homestand with the Caps, Elks, Titans, and Falcons, all 3-game sets.

What do you mean, Maud, the phone is not ringing?

Fun Fact: Jesus Maldonado became the fourth Raccoon to hit four doubles in a game, and he’s by far the least annoying one of the four.

Nobody had done it in almost 50 years, by the way. Glenn Johnston hit four doubles in a game in September 1989, which was when we still liked him (a month later, not so much). Daniel Richardson had a 4-double game in 2000, his sole lackluster season in Portland. Chris Roberson had four doubles in a 2002 game; he was also short-lived in Portland, but most people not named Clyde Brady, the Avatar of Losing, were in the 2000s.