[Westheim]

Originally Posted by Bub13

"Dampf" Nudel is gone? And I had such high hopes.

We all had; and I even had a whole stack of – (plonks pile of scribbled notes on the desk) – more or less dirty puns that all have to go to the waste bin now…!

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Raccoons (0-0) vs. Indians (0-0) – April 4-6, 2050

And so it began, another 162-game season, and this one would feel very much like holding the pokey black nose against a buzzing angle grinder. Oh well. We had gone 9-9 against the Indians last year, which would almost qualify as success this year, although Andrew Russ, the terrible annoyance, had changed teams and was now on the Crusaders, so that was that.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (0-0) vs. Enrique Ortiz (0-0)
Bubba Wolinsky (0-0) vs. Bill Nichol (0-0)
Victor Salcido (0-0) vs. Tan Brink (0-0)

Three right-handed pitchers to begin the season against. Let’s try out what our soggy lineup can do against them…

Game 1
IND: RF A. Mendez – SS de Castro – 1B B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – 2B H. Acosta – C DeFrank – LF Hare – CF R. White – P E. Ortiz
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – CF Herrera – 2B Waters – 1B Maldonado – 3B Crispin – RF Suzuki – C Gonzalez – P Wheatley

Angel Mendez doubled to right on the first pitch of the season, and while Bill Quinteros singled him home to give the Indians an early lead, at least Wheats didn’t get blown out like in last year’s season opener… yet. The Coons took a 2-1 lead in the bottom 1st with a walk to Matt Watt, a Lonzo RBI triple (giggles giddily) and Armando Herrera’s groundout. The lead didn’t last, mainly because while Andrew Russ had changed CL North foes, Angel Mendez hadn’t, and was only marginally less of a rectal pain. In the third inning, he legged out an infield single, stole two bases, and scored on Alex de Castro’s sac fly, and an inning later the Arrowheads were up 3-2 again with two more hits by Hugo Acosta and Ray DeFrank to begin the inning, and a sac fly for Josh Hare. Wheatley remained on the hook until he left after six busy innings, principally because the Raccoons besides the earlier Lonzo triple managed a total of one further base hit through six, a Mikio Suzuki single the second time through that went absolutely ******* nowhere. A sort of chance developed in the bottom 8th when Ortiz struck out Watt, but then walked Lonzo and drilled Herrera. Matt Waters hit into a fielder’s choice for the second time in the game, but Lonzo went to third base, then scored on Maldo’s 2-out single to right-center to tie the game and hand Wheats a no-decision. Jason Palladino walked Ed Crispin to fill the bases, and then couldn’t find the zone at all against Suzuki, issuing ball four to shove home run four and give the Raccoons an entirely undeserved 4-3 lead. Ruben Gonzalez preceded to single home a pair before even the less well-informed fans noticed something was off when Evan Van Hoy pinch-hit for Kevin Hitchcock and grounded out to second. Van Hoy? Really? Is this really the Raccoons?? With a 3-run lead entering the ninth, the Raccoons broke out Willie Cruz to attempt his first career save. Ray DeFrank and Josh Hare flew out to Watt, and Rusty White rolled out to Lonzo. 6-3 Raccoons! Suzuki 1-2, 2 BB, RBI;

Game 2
IND: RF A. Mendez – 2B H. Acosta – LF B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – C DeFrank – 1B Brayboy – SS de Castro – CF R. White – P Nichol
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – CF Herrera – 2B Waters – 1B Maldonado – 3B Luna – RF Suzuki – C Gonzalez – P Wolinsky

If you had Matt Watt in the pot for the first swat of the year, his leadoff jack in the bottom 1st made you a winner, and maybe Bubba, too, but only if he could hold on to the skinny 1-0 lead. Well, he couldn’t, despite retiring the first 11 Indians in order, because after that feat, he immediately broke and surrendered four straight hits with two outs in the fourth to Quinteros, Anderson, DeFrank, and the ******* scourge of the Earth, Aaron *********** Brayboy. Three of them were singles, but Bobby Anderson hit a right-center gapper for a triple, and a total of two runs scored to flip the score, because the Raccoons had in the meantime largely dabbled in getting caught stealing; Eddy Luna was thrown out in the second, and Lonzo in the third.

Bottom 4th, Luna walked, and Suzuki dropped in a single, both with one out. Gonzalez grounded to Anderson, who threw the ball well over Brayboy’s ugly head, and the 2-base throwing error awarded home to Eddy Luna and tied the game. Even better, Bubba batted with a pair in scoring position and dropped a duck snort single into shallow center on an 0-2 pitch, giving himself a 3-2 lead. Watt walked, Lonzo whiffed, and Herrera flew out to Quinteros to strand a full set then, but Bobby Anderson would drive home Quinteros in the sixth to tie the game again, thus partially making up for his earlier missed throw. Bubba wound up pitching eight innings on 98 pitches, but couldn’t get back into the lead, and was then replaced with Preston Porter for the ninth. He retired leadoff man Bobby Anderson, then got plonked to death with straight singles by DeFrank, Brayboy, de Castro, Philip Locke, and Manny Poindexter for a total of three runs before getting yanked and shopped around. Danny Landeta, the Thunder throw-in we didn’t want in the first place, then struck out Mendez, walked Hugo Acosta, and gave up a grand slam to Quinteros. 10-3 Indians. Luna 1-2, BB; Wolinsky 8.0 IP, 6 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 0 BB, 2 K and 1-3, RBI;

(opens the first bottle of Capt’n Coma)

Interlude: waiver claim

The Raccoons optioned Matt Glodowski back to AAA without the righty-hitting outfielder appearing in a game after they were awarded the contract of OF/3B Ricky Lamotta from the Loggers. A career .264/.314/.373 hitter, the 25-year-old Venezuelan was a right-handed batter as well, but with a more complete defensive skill set and also much younger. He had seen multiple cups of coffee with the Loggers since ’46, but had never gotten more than 50 PA in a season.

Raccoons (0-0) vs. Indians (0-0) – April 4-6, 2050

Game 3
IND: RF A. Mendez – SS de Castro – 1B B. Quinteros – 3B B. Anderson – 2B H. Acosta – C DeFrank – LF Hare – CF R. White – P Brink
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – CF Herrera – 2B Waters – 1B Maldonado – 3B Crispin – RF Suzuki – C Jimenez – P Salcido

Angel Mendez singled, the next two batters walked, and Bobby Anderson peppered a grand slam in skinnily occupied leftfield stands, all in the first inning. Waters doubled home Herrera in the bottom 1st, and in the bottom 2nd Suzuki singled his way on base with one out, but was forced out when Juan Jimenez grounded to short, and maybe also permanently maimed in a collision with de Castro that saw him leave the game appearing dazed and confused and asking for a bowl of rice soup for his grandmother. Lamotta tried out that new brown #12 shirt he had been given just before game time.

Salcido ached through five innings, giving up one more run to the top of the order in the third before being lifted in a 5-1 game. Eddy Luna batted for him in the bottom 5th and struck out in another 1-2-3 for Tan Brink. Bob Ibold offered a scoreless sixth, in the bottom of which the Coons clipped Brink for two runs. Lonzo and Herrera got on base, pulled off a double steal, and then scored on a groundout by Maldo and a Crispin single, respectively. Now, that looked like a close game to the untrained eye, but the Raccoons didn’t reach base in the seventh, then got Lonzo on with an infield single in the eighth, but also left him on with three poor outs. Hitchcock, Landeta, and Ponce at least kept the Indians at two runs’ distance until the bottom 9th, when John Steuer took the ball for Indy against the 6-7-8 batters; Crispin struck out, Lamotta popped out, but Jimenez singled. That brought up… Van Hoy, batting ninth after an earlier double switch, and the only remaining batter on the bench was Roberto Medina. Fine, Van Hoy to make the final out. (proceeds to lift bottle of booze to his snout) First pitch, a double swatted to right! The tying runs were in scoring position for Matt Watt, and Matt Watt… grounded out to Quinteros. 5-3 Indians. Lavorano 3-4; Suzuki 1-1; Jimenez 2-4, 2B; Hitchcock 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

Thursday was already a day off, and the Coons would use it to put Mikio Suzuki on the DL with torn thumb ligaments. Hel-lo, Matt Glodowski. Long time no see.

…

Raccoons (1-2) vs. Condors (1-3) – April 8-10, 2050

The Condors started off 0-3 against the Falcons before winning a 12-7 mess on Thursday on the way in. They had the third-most runs scored and second-most runs allowed, although that was also a factor of starting with a 4-game set. They had swiped six bags, which was tops in the CL. We had won the season series five years running, 5-4 in ’49, but I had a hunch…

Projected matchups:
Elijah Powell (0-0) vs. Sam Geren (0-0)
Victor Merino (0-0) vs. Kevin Daley (0-1, 13.50 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (0-0, 4.50 ERA) vs. Matt Weber (0-1, 1.13 ERA)

No southpaw on the horizon yet!

Game 1
TIJ: SS C. Navarro – 2B M. Martinez – LF G. Cabrera – C Mittleider – 1B Mancini – CF Blackburn – RF Tortora – 3B A. Lopez – P Geren
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – CF Herrera – 2B Waters – 1B Maldonado – RF Luna – 3B Crispin – C Gonzalez – P Powell

The first time through, Eddy Luna and Alex Lopez exchanged 2-run homers for a 2-2 tie through three innings, although the Coons had six hits to the Condors’ two. Powell walked Gil Cabrera to begin the fourth, only to immediately get a double play from Jon Mittleider, while then not getting a bunt down with Ruben Gonzalez on first base and one out in the bottom 4th. At 0-2 he swung away and singled instead, which worked for me, and Geren’s walk to Matt Watt loaded the bases for Lonzo, who was batting .429 at this point. He added 38 points and a run with a single to shallow left, which also gave Powell a 3-2 lead. Herrera hit an RBI single through between Chris Navarro and Alex Lopez, and Waters hit into a fielder’s choice for a .143 start to the season, but that still got another run home. Maldo ended Geren’s day with an RBI single, extending the lead to 6-2. Left-hander Pedro Quinonez then got out of the inning.

While Powell gave up a run in the sixth, the Coons got two more in the same inning on a 2-run homer to right-center smashed by Maldo, 8-3. Because this was just too comfortable a lead, the Raccoons’ Brett Lillis jr. and Bob Ibold then conspired for some shenanigans in the seventh. Lillis put Cullen Tortora on base with a single, then walked Lopez. Ibold replaced him, walked PH Chris O’Keefe to make it three on, nobody out, then gave up a sac fly and an RBI single to Miguel Martinez, 8-5. Gil Cabrera hit a fly to center that Herrera caught, with Chris O’Keefe tagging to go second to third, but he stumbled halfway down there and ended up being tagged out by Ed Crispin to end the inning. Crispin made an error in the eighth, but Preston Porter somehow got around that and kept the Condors away from scoring. Willie Cruz had a 1-2-3 ninth to put the game away, though. 8-5 Furballs. Lavorano 2-4, RBI; Herrera 2-5, RBI; Maldonado 4-5, HR, 3 RBI; Crispin 2-4, 2B;

Heyyy, back to .500 …!

Game 2
TIJ: SS C. Navarro – 2B M. Martinez – CF G. Cabrera – 1B Yamamoto – LF Mancini – C Mittleider – RF Blackburn – 3B Watanabe – P Daley
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – CF Herrera – 2B Waters – RF Maldonado – 3B Crispin – C Gonzalez – 1B Van Hoy – P Merino

Maldo made his second outfield start in five seasons on Saturday, which didn’t go very well almost right out of the gate. Merino was whacked for four hits, some loud, in the second inning, giving up three runs, one each on a Brian Blackburn double and two productive groundouts for Shintaro Watanabe and the pitcher Daley. It got worse; Gil Cabrera hit a leadoff triple in the third and scored not on a Yamamoto pop, but on Bob Mancini’s groundout. Lonzo singled home Merino in the bottom 3rd, 4-1, but Merino had only reached base with a bad bunt to get Evan Van Hoy (…!) forced out at second base. Mancini ended a lingering Merino’s day with a soul-crushing 2-out, 2-run homer in the top 5th.

The game felt over at that time, the Raccoons down 6-1, although it was far from that… mainly because of an hour-long rain delay in the bottom of the sixth. Play resumed though, with the Raccoons steadily shaking relievers from the pen, none of whom gave up a run, although the Raccoons offense also failed to score again, right up to the point where they were down to their last out against right-hander Leonardo Ramos. Herrera and Luna had erred on base in the 6-1 deficit. Glodowski had actually gotten into a game after two double switches in this affair, but popped out, yet with two outs, Ruben Gonzalez singled home Herrera to get the Critters within slam range. A Robert Medina strikeout ended the game anyway. 6-2 Condors. Crispin 1-2;

For Sunday, Matt Waters got an unusually early day off, on account of batting .105 (with a .167 BABIP).

Game 3
TIJ: SS C. Navarro – 2B M. Martinez – LF G. Cabrera – 1B Mancini – CF Blackburn – RF Tortora – C R. Cruz – 3B A. Lopez – P M. Weber
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – SS Luna – 1B Maldonado – 3B Crispin – C Jimenez – RF Medina – CF Lamotta – P Wheatley

Mancini and Blackburn opened the top 2nd with singles, and while Tortora hit a comebacker to Wheats, the Coons couldn’t turn two, and thus Ricky Cruz’ groundout brought in the rubber game’s first run. The Condors got another pair of leadoff singles, a soft bloop and an infield single, by Gil Cabrera and Mancini in the fourth, and then Blackburn hit a 3-run homer to take all the oxygen away from me. The lopsided defense didn’t shine, but neither did Wheatley, who didn’t strike out any of the first 17 batters he faced before Weber dropped dead to end the fourth inning in a 4-0 game. The Raccoons didn’t even get a base hit until Jimenez hit a double in the bottom 5th, but he was left on base.

Ricky Lamotta got on base as a Critter for the first time with a leadoff walk in the bottom 6th, but was stranded after getting bunted to second base. Wheatley finished seven innings, the last three being not quite as rotten as the first four, but the Raccoons at the stretch still had nothing more than the Jimenez double from the fifth. Matt Waters ended up playing after all once Ed Crispin left the game with a sore elbow in the eighth inning, and while he didn’t bat in the bottom 8th, maybe he at least inspired Jimenez to hit a solo homer to right to get the team on the board. Lillis gave that run right back in the ninth, giving up a walk and an RBI double to Chris Navarro. A pinch-hit single by Herrera in the bottom 9th was all that stopped that “defensive catcher” from being the only lifeline between the Coons and a no-hitter… 5-1 Condors. Herrera (PH) 1-1; Jimenez 2-3, HR, 2B, RBI;

In other news

April 5 – ATL SP Kodai Koga (1-0, 0.00 ERA) walks five Aces and strikes out as many, but allows no hits in a 1-0 win over Las Vegas, for the first ABL no-hitter since 2047!
April 9 – WAS SP Bruce Mark jr. (1-0, 2.12 ERA) throws a 2-hit shutout in a 5-0 win over the Scorpions, striking out eight batters.
April 9 – Salem SP Blake Sparkes (2-0, 1.69 ERA) and CL Josh Rella (0-0, 0.00 ERA, 3 SV) pitch a combined 1-hitter against the Miners, who don’t get past a first-inning double of outfielder Jayden Ward (.333, 0 HR, 0 RBI).
April 10 – ATL OF/1B Steve Royer (.370, 1 HR, 2 RBI) lands two singles in a 2-1 win over the Crusaders to connect all the dots for a 20-game hitting streak dating back to last season. The 24-year-old made the Opening Day roster for the first time this year.
April 10 – OCT 3B/SS Angel Montes de Oca (.364, 1 HR, 2 RBI) goes yard for all the offense in a 1-0 win over the Indians.

FL Player of the Week: SFW LF Mario Villa (.583, 3 HR, 8 RBI)
CL Player of the Week: MIL RF/LF/1B Will McIntyre (.550, 1 HR, 7 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Yes, we’re claiming guys off waivers from the Loggers.

The Loggers!

I told you it was gonna be bad. Matt Waters hitting .105 is one thing, but the Raccoons grabbing some cheap Japanese import and have him start his career 3-for-7, then immediately shedding a thumb is the other. Also, there’s three replacement level outfielders on the roster hitting a combined 0-for-16 with a grand total of one walk, while Matt Watt’s .130/.259/.261 isn’t actually inspiring either.

It’s gonna be a looong year. Next week: road trip to Oklahoma, Elk City.

Fun Fact: Kodai Koga’s no-hitter on April 5 is not the earliest in a calendar year that a no-hitter has been pitched.

The record is held by Indianapolis’ Dan George, no-hitting the Crusaders on April 3, 1996. Second place goes to Warriors starter Pat Okrasinski, no-hitting the Wolves on April 4, 2033.