[Westheim]

I breathed a sigh of relief when the Gold Sox finished sweeping the damn Elks, keeping them at safe distance in terms of championships. The Raccoons remained up, seven to three. I’d prefer twenty-zip, but you can’s strip them of titles now, the League HQ told me.

Thus the time to start cleaning house was here. The Raccoons had lots of free agents to be, one of which would be Nelson Moreno, who voided his player option for 2050 to hook up with a contender instead. Moreno had been in the organization for 14 years since signing out of Venezuela for all of $20k. He had made another $7,005,000 in salaries since then. Originally earning the sobriquet of “failed starter”, Moreno really turned it around in the bullpen, becoming a vicious eighth-inning roadblock by ’43, and then a closer in his own right the last two seasons. He’d leave Portland with a 51-50 record, 3.67 ERA (way bloated by his failed starter times), and 97 saves in 464 games (86 starts). Shambolically, he would not even be worth compensation. Only Pat Gurney was a qualifying free agent, and then only a type B.

Not even Preble?? Seriously, Maud, we have to call League HQ!

That wasn’t the only thing that riled me up, though. Nick Valdes let us know that he was not exactly thrilled with our performance in the 2049 season and that he was only planning to pay for winners, not .500 ball. He thus slashed the budget from a third-place $61M in 2049 all the way down to $53M in 2050. Well, all the losing, and then there was the fact that he had to allocate more funds to shower Autumn in jewelry. (hits fist on the desk) That bimbo! Taking away my slugger signing money!!

Not that we had harbored many hopes for major signings this year. I knew Nick by now, and then there was also the rebuilding progress being in its very beginning stages. The budget slash dropped us from 3rd to 7th in the league.

Top 5: Gold Sox ($68M), Stars ($64M), Miners ($63M), Bayhawks ($62M), Thunder ($58M);

The bottom of the league was brought up by the Indians ($37M), Aces and Falcons ($34M each), Wolves ($31M), and Loggers ($26M).

The remaining CL North terms sat in 6th (VAN, $57M), 14th (BOS, $44M), and in a tie for 15th (NYC, $43M).

The average budget for a team in the league rose to $47M, up $700k from last season. The median team budget or 2047 was $44.75M, up $1M from last season.

+++

So! I talked to Steve from Accounting, and while we’re gonna shed quite some salary through free agents alone (more in a second), the slashed $8M were gonna hurt one way or another. No more lobsters and truffles around here. And no third breakfast. (takes food bowl away from a bickering Maldonado)

Steve also told me some grim truths I could have done without. The 2049 Coons had spent $58.2M of a $61M budget, but with revenues of only $56.1M for a net loss of $2.1M. For comparison, we had posted a profit of $15.9M on $67.3M revenue, $51.4M expenses, and a $56M budget the year before when we still made it to Game 7.

The main problem here was Nick Valdes, who had merrily cashed out his personal allowance again, leaving us not only with a $53M budget, but – partly also thanks to our seven-figure revenue sharing contribution to keep teams like the Loggers alive – also saw us starting the new accounting year with a starting balance of $1.7M. – Why’s that in red ink, Steve? – What do you mean, we have negative cash??

(blows)

Which does get us to the free agency and salary arbitration board, where we had 13 total players, and we would not be all that clingy this year. First, none of our five free agents were gonna be resigned. We thanked Pat Gurney, Mike Preble, Nelson Moreno, and Nate Norris for their cooperation in getting some rings in here, plus Eduardo Avila for no particular reason if I’m honest, and they could all find the best of luck somewhere else.

Then there were the eight arbitration cases, which included some obvious keeps like Bubba Wolinsky and Matt Watt, and quite a few headaches. F.e., since we’re on mediocre corner outfielders anyway, what exactly are we gonna need Brian Nigro and Gene Pellicano for? The other players slated for arbitration were Eddy Luna (useful without a doubt), Wade Gardner (a.k.a. soggy right-handed catcher #3), and formerly great right-handed relievers Preston Porter and Bob Ibold.

28-year-old Porter’s K/9 collapsed this year from 7.3 to 4.8 while his ERA roughly doubled. The BABIP went up slightly, but was still under .300, and he walked even fewer batters than before. He was just getting whacked, although it was hard to pinpoint the actual reason for it. Since Pat Degenhardt still rated him highly, we’d try and shrug it off in the “oh well, middle relief, huh?” category and try to give him a new 1-year deal.

Then there was Ibold, also 28, with an injury history that could fill an entire medical compendium. A first-rounder in 2039 (by the Wolves, in case you wondered), he had major injuries to his: elbow in 2040, shoulder in 2044, shoulder in 2047, and elbow in 2048. His entire right arm was nothing but scars and blue and red spots. Dr. Padilla kept sharpening his curvy knives. Ibold pitched to a 3.71 ERA (against a .340 BABIP) in ’48 before blowing out the elbow in the World Series. He remained on the shelf until August, then had a decent rehab stint in AAA, with a 1.69 ERA in 16 innings, but notably had almost no strikeouts (2.8/9). He also walked only 2.3/9. Upon recall to the big leagues in September, he was burned alive more than once. He had a 14.04 ERA, 2.76 WHIP, and admittedly a .433 BABIP. He struck out and walked both 8.6/9. It had been the grimmest ******** I had seen in a while. Dr. Padilla thought he was toast, Pat Degenhardt thought he was toast, Cristiano Carmona thought he was toast, even Chad thought he was toast … but … (looks at the stats again) … *how many* strikeouts?

Cutting expenses was right at the top of the to-do list for the Raccoons, which was an entirely new vibe around here. In addition to the five free agents, the Raccoons also immediately non-tendered Gardner, Pellicano, and Nigro – the latter having posted a .652 OPS despite nary seeing a southpaw all year long, and put left-hander Oscar Alcala and first baseman Evan Van Hoy on waivers to get them off the 40-man roster just to save those minimum salaries. The only reason why Roberto Medina and Matt Glodowski didn’t get the same treatment was that with all the other departures we’d be left with precisely TWO outfielders on the 40-man roster (Watt, Herrera) after salary arbitration if we canned them too.

Two outfielders here, two outfielders there, at least we had the rotation and the infield currently sorted out, although trading the odd bit here and there for something else wouldn’t hurt. I wouldn’t mind entirely to trade Dave Hils’ contract. If necessary, along with Dave Hils.

Boy, Slappy. We went from princes to paupers real quick. – Slappy, why are you littering your chewing gum papers here? – What do you mean you haven’t been paid any salary so far this month??

Maud, call Nick, we need more dosh! I don’t know what to do anymore without $15M in the bank!!