[majormet]

Porn star and Arizona Diamondbacks first baseman Reed Rothchild socked 5 hits today in a game as Arizona defeated the Barbados Arsenal on the road at Rihanna Park 4-1 in 11 innings. The Boogie Nights character goes 5 for 6 while Ruben Sierra ripped an 11th inning homer, a 3 run shot off of 38 year old reliever, Saul Rivera. The D-Backs are 53-31 in a 3rd place tie in the NL West with the El Paso Grizzlies trailing the first place Las Vegas Snake Eyes by 5 games.

Lazy donut eating private Leonard "Gomer" Pyle had a breakout 5 hit game today for the Havana Marksmen as they exploited the Lexington Big Stick 21-3 on the road at Churchill Downs. Pyle went 5 for 7 and drove in 3 runs to carry the offense along with Juan Lagares who went 5 for 5 and drove in 4 runs in this one sided game. Pyle is hitting .362 in his rookie year, and defying critics who said he would not amount to much and had major malfunctions which is how he ended up in Cuba in the first place.

The Saskatoon Beavers have lost reliever JJ Putz for the season with a torn labrum. After many years with the Washington Nationals, Putz was 1-0 with a 2.41 ERA this year for Saskatoon. The injury occurred in a tight 6-5 win over the AL Tropical leading Kingston Sea Lions

With the injury to JJ Putz, the Saskatoon Beavers acquired Canadian NHLer John Tavares from the Havana Marksmen for 2B Swede Risberg. JT has a whopping 16.02 ERA This year and at 32, Saskatoon is hoping that it was because of overuse on the expansion Havana team.

National hero Blue Spark of the Montreal Anchors is out 4 weeks with a strained hamstring. The punk rocker who tackled a terrorist in a Brooklyn concert venue suffered the injury on the first out in a game where Montreal got shellacked by the Memphis Cougars at Fedex Field 14-2. He is 6-6 with a 2.45 ERA this season

The Myrtle Beach Rage have lost Vin Johnson for the season with a concussion. He had 5 homers and 21 RBI's before going down.

Ubaldo Jimenez is out for the 2027 campaign for the Edmonton Bluebirds. Jimenez has a strained elbow ligament and ends his season at 3-3 with a 3.56 ERA

Frank Lange fanned 15 batters in a game for the Melbourne Caribou as they triumphed over the Cape Code Manatees at home. Lange fanned 15 over 7 1/3 innings and allowed just one hit to NHLer Roman Josi as Melbourne wins 5-0

In another season ending injury the Vancouver Men-O-War lose effective reliever Drew Pomerantz for the year with a ruptured ulnar collateral ligament. He was 6-1 out of the pen with a 1.32 ERA

The Toronto Blue Jays offloaded power hitting Lew Ford to the Sedona Mules today in exchange for RP Bill Phyle and RF Al McCauley. Ford had hit 130 career homers for the Jays.