[Westheim]

Still shellshocked by last week’s implosion and 5-game losing streak, I wandered into the office in my old man pyjamas on Monday, promptly meeting a confused representatives from BOLOX Industries, one of our dearest sponsors. I shook his hand, then immediately broke into tears, weeping and clamoring that it was all horrible.

Raccoons (13-11) vs. Indians (11-13) – May 2-4, 2044

Also here, the Arrowheads. Last year’s season series had been split right down the middle after we had taken it three years in a row. They couldn’t score for their dear lives, still, with 3.1 runs per game to their credit, the worst mark in the Continental League. The pitching was average, and they allowed the fifth-fewest runs, but that still made for a rather unhealthy -24 run differential after only the month of April (Coons: -2).

Projected matchups:
Sadaharu Okuda (3-1, 2.89 ERA) vs. Ayden Cobb (0-2, 5.79 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (1-1, 4.50 ERA) vs. Bill Drury (4-1, 1.88 ERA)
Corey Mathers (3-1, 3.03 ERA) vs. Casey Pinter (1-3, 5.65 ERA)

Right, right, left from the Indians. Drury was 24 and had pitched to a 4.17 ERA with 20 losses in ’43. Whack ‘em, boys! – The Indians were without 3B Dan Hutson, who had wound up on the DL with elbow soreness, was reportedly healed up now, but was not eligible to come off the DL until after this series.

Game 1
IND: CF N. Galvan – SS Russ – LF D. Rivera – C Ebner – 2B E. Vargas – RF J. Sullivan – 1B B. Quinteros – 3B Round – P A. Cobb
POR: SS Waters – 1B Ayala – RF Toohey – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – CF Baskins – 2B Gutierrez – 3B Jimenez – P Okuda

First time through, nobody but the pitchers reached under their own power, so it was immediately one of *those* games. Cobb singled off Okuda to be the first baserunner overall, Nelson Galvan also singled to left, but Manny Fernandez had Andrew Russ’ easy fly to left. Omar Gutierrez got on base on an error by Enrique Vargas, then was immediately doubled off by Ricky Jimenez, who must have had a big gulp from that poisoned well behind the ballpark, and there was no other logical explanation left. Okuda then walked, but was left stranded by Matt Waters… Sal Ayala opened the bottom 4th with a single, and was doubled off by Bryce Toohey. Yup, one of *those* games…

Baskins hit a triple in the fifth that saw him stranded, Waters got on to begin the sixth and was caught stealing, and when Ayala walked, Toohey hit into another double play; meanwhile Okuda whiffed eight through six innings, but also started to scatter more singles in the middle innings. Top 7th, Vargas whipped a leadoff double down the line in leftfield, but had to hold on a poor grounder by Jon Sullivan. Okuda lost Bill Quinteros on balls, then threw a wild pitch on which Kilmer also didn’t look great. Jim Round then hit the 2-1 pitch to center. Derek Baskins had it, Vargas went for home plate – and was thrown out! BOOM! Derek Baskins!!

And the Coons? Manny hit a leadoff single to center in the bottom 7th, swiftly followed by a speedy grounder to short off the bat of Kilmer, which Andrew Russ turned … into an error! Oh come on boys! But now! Baskins grounded out, advancing the runners at least, Gutierrez popped out to first, and Jimenez’ fly to left was easily caught by Danny Rivera. I was screaming into one of the pillows. Okuda then finally leaked a run in the eighth inning. Jason Rose hit a leadoff single in the #9 hole, was forced out by Galvan, but both Galvan and, after an infield single that cost me intense abdominal pain, Andrew Russ stole second base in the inning, and when Rivera flew out to center, Baskins could not throw out Galvan at home plate. Okuda was lifted after that, with Sean Ebner whiffed by Ramirez, but the Raccoons had booked their loss. They had nothing, absolutely nothing. The Indians had a ninth-inning homer by Quinteros off Norris. 2-0 Indians. Ayala 1-2, 2 BB; Okuda 7.2 IP, 8 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, L (3-2);

The damn Elks took the lead in the division on this Monday, beating the Crusaders 5-0. Probably for the remainder of the season again.

Absolutely ******* devastating.

Game 2
IND: SS Russ – LF D. Rivera – 1B B. Quinteros – RF Crocker – C J. Rose – 2B A. Avila – CF D. Diaz – 3B Round – P Drury
POR: 2B Carreno – 1B Ayala – RF Toohey – LF Fernandez – CF Baskins – 3B Cruz – SS Waters – C Zarate – P Wheatley

Three singles scored a run for Indy in the first inning, Rose getting the RBI with two outs. Ballgame! – I declared emphatically while dramatically extending both arms, and immediately got confirmation from Toohey hitting into ANOTHER ******* DOUBLE PLAY in the bottom 1st. The Coons loaded them up in the bottom 2nd, Manny hitting a leadoff single and Drury issuing walks to Baskins and Waters. Jose Zarate was up next, grounded to short for the next doub- no, Russ ****** that one up, too. The throwing error advanced everybody a base and tied the game, and Cristiano insisted that Russ had won a Gold Glove at one point, and I insisted that it could only have been in the Blind People’s League. Wheats gave himself the 2-1 lead with a grounder to the right side, and Carreno flew out to Nick Crocker to strand a pair in scoring position.

By the bottom 3rd on a Tuesday night, the Raccoons were desperate enough to hit-and-run once Sal Ayala was on first base and Toohey was wiggling the stick in the box. He grounded to short again, but this time Ayala was safe at second. Manny hit a single into the maws of Crocker, Ayala holding at third base, and runners were on the corners for Derek Baskins with one out, who slapped a ball past diving Quinteroses and Avilas on the right side for an RBI single, sending Manny to third base. Cruz grounded to Russ for a fielder’s choice, scoring a run, 4-1, and Drury walked Waters, the fifth free pass he had doled out in the game. Zarate came through with two outs, ramming a ball into the leftfield corner for a 2-out, 2-run triple …! Wheats then killed off Drury for good with an RBI single to center, extending his own lead to 7-1. Carreno flew out to Crocker again, but now it was solely on the sophomore to keep his **** together.

And he largely did! His pitch economy wasn’t *great*, and he was done after 111 pitches and 6.2 innings, but he shed only one run from the big outburst to his removal, and that was deemed totally acceptable (while the Raccoons went mostly meekly in the middle innings). Chuck Jones came on in a double switch that lifted Manny to pitch to the three lefty bats after Russ, and did so… but put the first two aboard and only retired Crocker, so the double switch turned out a bit moot. Jon Craig also shuffled the first two batters aboard in the eighth inning, then somehow wiggled out of his own mess. Zack Kelly did a little better, only parking the leadoff man on first in the ninth inning. The Raccoons never scored again, but at least held on to their early lead… 7-2 Critters. Fernandez 2-4; Baskins 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Waters 1-2, 2 BB; Wheatley 6.2 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 5 K, W (2-1) and 1-3, 2 RBI;

Game 3
IND: SS Russ – LF D. Rivera – 1B B. Quinteros – C J. Rose – CF J. Sullivan – RF N. Galvan – 2B Huber – 3B Round – P Pinter
POR: 2B Carreno – SS Waters – 1B Toohey – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – CF Baskins – 3B Jimenez – RF Rosario – P Mathers

Two errors, a walk, two stolen bases, and an infield single into the bottom 1st, the Raccoons had gotten no farther than loading the bags with nobody out to shovel their own little graves. Carreno had reached on a Russ error, stole second and reached third on Rose’s bad throw. Waters walked, stole second, and Toohey rolled a ball near third base that kept the runners pinned, but also wasn’t played for an out at first base. Of course, the Raccoons all-time run expectancy with three on and no outs was negative a run and a half, so there was that. Manny hit a sac fly to right, which was at least the first run in the game. Kilmer then cleaned up the bases – with a homer to left! 4-0 Critters! Ricky Jimenez hit his first homer of the year with two outs, advancing his batting average all the way to .129, and Juan Rosario hit a dunker after that, getting his first major league hit after a few futile pinch-hitting assignments. The inning then ended with Mathers, who pitched rather well and held the Indians to two hits and a walk in the first four innings. The Indians meanwhile made errors in each of the three innings after the 5-run outburst, giving them FIVE errors by the end of the fourth. The Raccoons, always polite when food was not directly involved, declined to score on any of the free chances, and I was immediately filled with foreboding and reached for Slappy’s hand for some comfort. He handed me a bottle of booze instead, which was also *fine*.

The Coons tacked on a run without the aid of an error in the bottom 5th, with Kilmer and Jimenez getting hits, Rosario getting intentionally walked, and Mathers hitting a sac fly with the bases loaded. Carreno once more made the final out. No shutout for Corey Mathers materialized, though, since he started to get into longer counts by about the fifth inning, and then ran up a pitch count of 104 through seven innings and was not brought back afterwards. Moreno, Kelly, and Ramirez handled the last six outs, while doubles by Cruz and Toohey added one more run in the eighth inning. 7-0 Raccoons. Toohey 3-4, BB, 2 2B, RBI; Kilmer 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Jimenez 2-4, HR, 2B, RBI; Cruz (PH) 1-1, 2B; Mathers 7.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K, W (4-1) and 0-2, RBI;

Raccoons (15-12) @ Miners (14-14) – May 6-8, 2044

A weekend trip to Pittsburgh, against whom the Raccoons had lost the last two meetings, two games to one each time. They were three games out in the FL East, eighth in runs scored, ninth in runs allowed, and dragged around a rotation with a collective 5.87 ERA.

Projected matchups:
Jake Jackson (1-1, 3.81 ERA) vs. Bill McMichael (1-3, 6.49 ERA)
Sadaharu Okuda (3-2, 2.52 ERA) vs. Josh Long (2-2, 4.73 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (2-1, 4.17 ERA) vs. Israel Mendoza (4-1, 4.57 ERA)

The set started with a left-hander, and then we’d see two righties.

The Raccoons skipped Brent Clark (0-5, 7.14 ERA), this time for real, and would try their luck with the bugger again later on. We’d also get Jesus Maldonado off the DL on Saturday, which made for another farewell assignment in the #8 hole for Juan Rosario.

Game 1
POR: 2B Carreno – SS Waters – 1B Toohey – C Kilmer – LF Baskins – 3B Jimenez – CF Anderson – RF Rosario – P Jackson
PIT: CF F. Rojas – 1B Santillano – RF Greenway – LF Marz – C Petroni – SS F. Vazquez – 3B Iverson – 2B M. Colon – P McMichael

And then it came otherwise – Van Anderson was knocked up in an on-base collision in the second inning and ended up subbed out and eventually headed to the DL with back stiffness. The Raccoons brought in Sal Ayala and realigned their outfield Rosario-Baskins-Toohey from left to right, preferring to get a slow Manny Fernandez the day off. The team failed to score despite a couple of early chances, like Carreno reaching second base to lead off the third inning on an error by Jonathan Iverson. Jackson retired Pittsburgh in order the first time through, but got no help from the other bums in the early innings.

Top 5th, leadoff walk for Carreno, who stole his 13th bag of the year, and then McMichael walked Waters behind him. Toohey struck out, but Kilmer drew the third walk of the inning and the fourth off the southpaw in the game. Baskins grounded to the right side, where Mario Colon tried for two, but only got Kilmer at second base, with Carreno scoring to put the Critters up 1-0. Jimenez, persistently foundering, grounded out to short, stranding a pair on the corners.

Jackson pitched a no-hitter into the sixth before Felix Rojas and Hall of Famer-in-waiting Danny Santillano poked soft singles to begin the bottom 6th and reached the corners. Former cometic, then cosmetic, Raccoon Troy Greenway hit a fly to center, and Baskins murdered another runner at home plate, throwing out Rojas with utmost precision. Santillano scooted his old bum over to second base on the play, but John Marz, better known on the Thunder in the CL, popped out to short. Baskins went on to single home Kilmer with two outs in the seventh inning, putting a ball into rightfield off Jay Coats, who had just replaced McMichael after Kilmer’s double to center. Jimenez popped out, and I wondered what the postage would be to send him back to Cuba.

The Raccoons rode Jackson for 7.2 innings and 96 pitches before the left-handed top of the order reappeared in the box. Chuck Jones had the potential for a 4-out save here, and got Rojas to fly out to left for a start. The Raccoons then got their hopefully final turns at-bat against recent Raccoon Tim Hale, who retired Carreno and Waters before we poured out the bench. Manny hit for Toohey and walked. He then scored on Jose Cruz’ double to left before Baskins flew out. The run was window dressing – while Jones walked Santillano to begin the bottom 9th, the Miners never got solid contact off him and made three quick outs after that. 3-0 Raccoons. Cruz (PH) 1-1, 2B, RBI; Anderson 1-1; Jackson 7.2 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 6 K, W (2-1) and 1-4;

As indicated, Dr. Padilla diagnosed Van Anderson with back soreness and he was shifted onto the DL, which spared Rosario, batting 1-for-10, demotion to AAA as Jesus Maldonado came off the DL for the Saturday contest.

Game 2
POR: SS Waters – 1B Ayala – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – RF Toohey – C Kilmer – 3B Jimenez – 2B Gutierrez – P Okuda
PIT: 2B Iverson – SS F. Vazquez – C Mercado – RF Marz – 1B Santillano – CF Burch – LF N. Duncan – 3B Liedtke – P J. Long

Maldonado *almost* hit a 3-run homer right off the DL, but was retired at the fence by Nick Duncan with Waters (walk) and Ayala (nicked) aboard in the top 1st. Manny hit an RBI single to left-center, but Toohey kept engorging himself with grounders to short and ended the inning in 6-4-3 fashion. The Raccoons would soon blow the lead in a collective meltdown in the second inning. Gutierrez’ error put Santillano on base to begin the inning, and Okuda walked Kevin Burch. Nick Duncan grounded out, while Toohey misplayed Keith Liedtke’s fly into a 2-run triple. Okuda then plated Liedtke with a wild pitch. 3-1 Miners, and my jaws were locked around the nearest handrail.

After another Jimenez bobble led to Santillano’s second infield single of the day in the fourth, I gave up on the game, even before Burch hit a homer to left that made it 5-1 on Okuda. Both pitchers exited in the top 5th, Okuda being hit for with Baskins who made the final out, and Long getting lifted by the Miners’ trainer after grimacing after releasing that final pitch of the inning. Not that it helped the Raccoons to get rid of the starting pitcher. Marty Madera pitched a scoreless sixth with Maldonado hitting into a double play, while Nelson Moreno bled a run on a single, a walk, and Felix Vazquez’ 2-out double. Manny hit a leadoff single against Madera in the seventh, then was doubled off by Toohey. What a clown show… And despite all the sucking, the Raccoons still got the tying run into the on-deck circle in the ninth inning, if only with two outs against Rich Kappel. The right-hander walked Maldo and Kilmer, with a Manny single in between. Jose Cruz batted for Jimenez, singling home a run in leftfield. Gutierrez struck out to end the game anyway. 6-2 Miners. Fernandez 3-4, RBI; Cruz (PH) 1-1, RBI;

We’ll just claim that was one of the 54 games you lose anyway…

Game 3
POR: SS Waters – 1B Ayala – CF Maldonado – RF Fernandez – LF Baskins – 2B Carreno – 3B Jimenez – C Zarate – P Wheatley
PIT: CF F. Rojas – 1B Santillano – RF Greenway – LF Marz – C Petroni – SS F. Vazquez – 3B Liedtke – 2B M. Colon – P I. Mendoza

There was little cooking for two innings in the rubber game on Sunday, but then Zarate opened the top 3rd with a double to left and Wheats singled to center, putting runners on the corners. Mendoza and Waters battled it out in a full count that ended up with Waters walking on a disputed call that got the Miners’ pitching coach ejected from the game for chirping. Of course, with three on and nobody out, the Miners had the Raccoons right where they wanted them, doomed. Ayala hit a sac fly to left, and Maldonado hit into another stinking double play. Wheats allowed one hit and struck out four the first time through the Pittsburgh lineup, which was fine indeed, then fell to 10 total bases by three consecutive hitters in the bottom 4th. Greenway homered to right. Marz doubled to right. Giampaolo Petroni homered to right.

Wheats’ little head appeared gone after that, too, with long counts and the defense keeping him alive, while the Raccoons’ no-luck streak continued. With Ayala on board in the sixth, Maldonado sent a 1-out drive to deep left that hit off the top of the fence – the very top! – but bounced back into play for merely a double instead of tying the game. Manny hit a sac fly to right, 3-2. Mendoza lost Baskins on balls, and then Carreno grounded to right, and barely through the reaching Colon’s turf. Maldo made angrily for home plate from second base, and was safe merely on Greenway’s mediocre throw that pulled Petroni off the bag. The game was tied indeed, somehow. Jimenez singled to left for a 4-3 lead, and Zarate hit another 2-out RBI single to center. Wheatley, on 71 pitches and somewhat discombobulated, was not batted for, struck out, but got through the bottom 6th on nothing more than a clean 2-out single by Keith Liedtke.

Mendoza was knocked out in the seventh on Maldo’s RBI double to right, cashing in Ayala, 6-3. Manny and Baskins made outs, while Wheats struck out Devon Ponto to begin the bottom of the inning, then was lifted for Chuck Jones before the left-handed top of the order could do harm to him. Jones came in with a double switch that replaced Manny with Toohey in right. He still couldn’t get rid of Santillano, but the old Miner’s single dissipated between a Rojas K and Greenway’s groundout. The Raccoons crowded Marty Madera for a run in the eighth, Ayala bringing home Carreno, moving out to a 4-run lead. Josh Rella nevertheless had to be bothered in the bottom of the ninth after Colon and Rojas hit singles off Jon Craig, coming on with one out and staring at Santillano right away. Somehow, Santillano became the last batter in the game, spanking a 2-2 pitch at Ricky Jimenez for a 5-4-3 double play. 7-3 Raccoons. Ayala 3-4, 2 RBI; Maldonado 2-5, 2 2B, RBI; Carreno 2-4, BB, RBI; Jimenez 2-4, 2B, RBI; Zarate 2-4, 2B, RBI;

In other news

May 3 – A new hitting streak reaches 20 games in the Federal League, with DAL 2B Hugo Acosta (.435, 2 HR, 27 RBI) reaching the mark with a first-inning single in a 4-2 win over the Warriors.
May 4 – Season over for INF/RF Ted Del Vecchio (.275, 1 HR, 9 RBI), who suffered a major concussion in a nasty on-base collision with BOS 3B Ivan Lugo (.295, 1 HR, 16 RBI) on Monday. Del Vecchio fell into the path of the sliding Lugo, reaching for a feed by pitcher Jose de Lucio (2-3, 4.01 ERA), and got inadvertently struck in the head by Lugo’s knee. The Loggers rallied for a late win in the game, 5-4.
May 4 – 40-year-old VAN SP Brandon Nickerson (2-1, 4.94 ERA) is headed for major elbow surgery to repair a torn flexor tendon and is out for a full 12 months at least.
May 4 – NYC 1B/2B Mario Briones (.290, 2 HR, 15 RBI) goes 5-for-5 with a homer, a double, and 3 RBI, but the Crusaders lose to the Canadiens, 8-6.
May 4 – The only scoring in the Falcons’ 2-0 win over the Bayhawks is procured by CHA SS Tony Aparicio (.231, 3 HR, 11 RBI) hitting a walkoff home run.
May 4 – Titans and Loggers play 12 scoreless innings before the Bostonians break out for three runs in the top of the 13th inning, holding on to win 3-0 in the end. The teams land a grand total of nine hits in the game.
May 5 – The Wolves walk off in both ends of a double header with the Gold Sox, winning 3-2 in 13 innings in the first game, and 5-4 in regulation in the second.
May 6 – CIN SP Willie Gallardo (3-1, 4.54 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout against the Titans for a 5-0 win.
May 8 – DAL 2B Hugo Acosta (.415, 2 HR, 33 RBI) runs his hitting streak to 25 games. He collects three hits in an 11-4 rush of the Canadiens.

FL Player of the Week: NAS C Jorge Santa Cruz (.336, 5 HR, 23 RBI), splattering .556 (15-27) with 2 HR, 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT C Jesus Adames (.278, 7 HR, 19 RBI), barraging .370 (10-27) with 5 HR, 11 RBI

Complaints and stuff

A couple of BABIP’s to pull all your fur out:
Ayala .263
Carreno .253
Maldonado .226
Manny .225
Waters .186

I wonder what it is with Matt Waters – besides a particularly strong gypsy curse. It had already been this bad a few years ago in Ham Lake and it wasn’t getting any better either…

The standings show the damn Elks behind us again after they briefly took the lead on Monday. I am already weary of their proximity and it won’t get much better in the near future, with the Critters having to go to Elk City on the weekend. We’ll stop over to play the Gold Sox at home in between. The schedule will not make much sense beyond that either, going from Elk City to New York, then home to play the Condors, and then out to San Francisco for three games. We’ll also have a single-series road trip down I-5 to L.A. in June.

June will be a tough month; we’ll only play eight home games, never getting consecutive home series. Oh well, at least I won’t run into Nick Valdes as much then…

Fun Fact: 30 years ago today, two players both hit three home runs in a game.

That was SFW Jamie Wilson landing three in an 11-2 rout of the Scorpions on May 8, 2014, and future Raccoon Gil Rockwell, on the Knights, against the Bayhawks. Atlanta lost that game, 6-5.

Rockwell’s game was the only instance between Liam Wedemeyer in 1995 (also a future Raccoon) and Tim Stackhouse in 2037 in which a player hit three home runs in a game, his team lost the game, and the Raccoons were not involved.

Pat Sanford of the Condors hit three homers against us on May 28, 2024, but we beat them, 9-8. Carlos de la Riva of these Miners repeated the feat on June 17, 2027, but we prevailed again, 10-9.

But we lost all those games where a stinking Elk went deep three times in the 2020s… Alex Torres, John Calfee, Brian Wojnarowski – all losses for Portland.