[Westheim]

Raccoons (74-62) vs. Canadiens (82-56) – September 7-9, 2043

The Raccoons were seven games behind the damn Elks, with six to play – that looked like a chance on paper, but ignored that the Raccoons were 29-55 against the damn Elks in the last five seasons, including 4-8 this year. Elk City was second in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed, with a +89 run differential. Somehow we were better in runs allowed (3rd), but scoring runs was a tough chew for the Raccoons, sixth in the league. We had a +40 run differential.

Projected matchups:
Corey Mathers (17-10, 3.16 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (16-9, 3.57 ERA)
Jake Jackson (9-12, 4.71 ERA) vs. Alexander Lewis (10-6, 2.78 ERA)
Leonhart Becker (8-1, 3.03 ERA) vs. David Arias (13-8, 2.93 ERA)

Right, left, right. They had only one minor injury to Victor Vazquez, and apart from that were ready to take the Raccoons apart.

Game 1
VAN: RF van der Zanden – C Clemente – CF Outram – 1B M. Hernandez – 3B J. Becker – LF Escobido – 2B Malkus – SS R. Johnston – P Sealock
POR: 2B Carreno – 1B Ayala – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 3B Jimenez – C Sieber – SS Castro – RF Nettles – P Mathers

While Corey Mathers, who was on a bit of a losing spill, allowed no hits the first time through the order, he also opened the bottom 3rd with a bloop single off Sealock. Manny and Sieber had hit singles in the second inning without amounting to a run, but Mathers’ hit was followed up by Arturo Carreno with another single, and now there were two on with no outs. I refused to get excited yet, having seen a lifetime’s worth of choking by this team just in situations of one guy in scoring position and nobody out. When Sal Ayala rolled a ball on the infield that nobody managed to play and thus loaded the bases with nobody out, I groaned and left the room to get more snacks from the nearest fridge. I had seen enough three on, no outs futility to last me into the NEXT lifetime. When I came back with a gallon of vanilla ice cream, I saw Slappy, Maud, Cristiano, and Steve from Accounting all high-fiving after Ricky Jimenez had dropped a single into shallow center for a 2-out, 2-run single after Maldo (K) and Manny (pop) had indeed failed to get a run in. Sieber singled to reload the bases, but Jose Castro grounded out to end the inning with three aboard.

Mathers and Carreno hit singles again with one out in the fourth, but Ayala hit into a double play to kill the effort. In turn, Justin Becker killed Mathers’ no-hit bid with a leadoff single to right in the fifth inning, but was stranded on third base eventually, after an intentional walk to Ryan Johnston with two outs. Sealock struck out, then went on to give up a homer to Manny Fernandez in the bottom of the fifth. That made it 3-0 Critters while being up 10-1 on base hits, which made me queasy. But Mathers retired the damn Elks in order in the sixth, and the seventh, and the eighth, too, carrying a 1-hitter into the ninth inning – after appearing in the box in the bottom 8th with Sieber and Nettles on the corners and two outs. The Raccoons, boldly, did not pinch-hit for Mathers – the game was all his. Mathers popped out, then faced the top of the order. Arnout van der Zanden grounded out to Carreno. Julio Diaz hit for Timóteo Clemente and struck out. I kept spooning ice cream as Jerry Outram – merely hitting .350 with 19 homers – appeared in the box as the Elks’ final out. He flew to left – and to Manny! Shutout!! 3-0 Raccoons!! Carreno 2-4; Fernandez 2-4, HR, RBI; Sieber 3-4; Mathers 9.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 7 K, W (18-10) and 2-4;

(forcefully high-fives Cristiano with the spoon still in the snout, sending the younger Carmona toppling out of his wheelchair)

**** HELL YES, PORTLAND!!

Can we get two more of those?

Game 2
VAN: RF van der Zanden – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – 1B M. Hernandez – LF Escobido – 3B Malkus – SS Holbrook – P A. Lewis
POR: 2B Carreno – SS Castro – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 3B Jimenez – C Kilmer – 1B Yamamoto – RF Casas – P Jackson

Unfortunately, Tuesday promised to be a different game. First, no Corey Mathers, second, runners on the corners for Elk City in a hurry. Jackson nailed Clemente, Outram singled, and they were on the corners with one out in the first. However, Dan Schneller, rested on Monday, struck out in the big spot, and Jose Casas brought in the drive Mel Hernandez hit on a 3-1 pitch, ending the inning. Not much more happened the first time through, but Clemente and Outram were on base again in the top 3rd, but this time with two outs and the other way round – Clemente singled and Outram took one to the hip. Now Schneller flew out to Casas, ending another inning. Casas opened the bottom 3rd with a double to right, then scored on an unassuming Castro single with two outs, giving Portland a 1-0 lead. Then Castro was picked off first base to complete the early innings.

The Elks kept having no luck, thankfully. Hernandez and Angel Escobido reached the corners to begin the fourth inning, upon which Jackson struck out Travis Malkus. With the count on Steve Holbrook at 2-2, Escobido took off for second base – and was thrown out by Kilmer! Holbrook ended up whiffing in a full count, stranding Hernandez on third base. I continued to feel uneasy, but wasn’t pouring Capt’n Coma into my daily gallon of ice cream yet. In the fifth inning Lewis hit a leadoff single, which was annoying, advanced on Arnout van der Zanden’s grounder, then looked on as Clemente struck out. That brought up Outram with two outs and the tying run on second base. The Raccoons passed, putting him on base intentionally to exchange his lefty .351 bat for a righty .307 bat in Schneller’s. After a mound conference, Jackson secured the strikeout. YES!!

The Coons didn’t have many runners, and didn’t tack on against Lewis. Carreno and Manny reached in the sixth, the latter on an error, but Jimenez grounded out to end that inning. Jackson was on 97 pitches after six, grinding away on the mighty Elks lineup, and started the seventh against Lewis, after which we’d probably soon enough send the pen. Lewis flew out to center, and Jackson remained in and popped out van der Zanden to shallow left. Clemente was his final batter (a right-handed one, too), and popped out to Carreno. Seven shutout innings by Jackson, which was all we could have hoped for after his recent meltdowns!

The Raccoons loaded the bases in the bottom 7th, beginning with a Kilmer double and a walk drawn by Shuta Yamamoto. Casas popped out, but Jay de Wit singled for Jackson, bringing up Carreno with three on and one down. The count ran full before Carreno singled to left, everybody advancing a station in the 2-0 game! And then Castro grounded to Schneller to end the inning. 4-6-3. Arf. But – Chuck Jones retired the 3-4-5 batters in the eighth inning, setting the Raccoons up for Josh Rella in the ninth against the bottom of the order. Rella walked Escobido on four pitches, which almost made me faint into my ice cream. Thankfully, Julio Diaz grounded to short, and Castro spun it around for two, 6-4-3! Holbrook went down on a comebacker to Rella – TWO SHUTOUTS!! 2-0 Raccoons!! Carreno 2-4, RBI; Casas 1-2, 2B; de Wit (PH) 1-1; Jackson 7.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 6 K, W (10-12);

Mystery! Jerry Outram was not in the lineup on Wednesday? Was he sore, injured? *Ashamed*?

Okay, that’s too much gloating. The baseball gods are always watching. (gleans skywards)

Game 3
VAN: RF van der Zanden – C Clemente – 2B Schneller – 1B M. Hernandez – LF J. Becker – CF Escobido – 3B R. Ashley – SS R. Johnston – P D. Arias
POR: 2B Carreno – 1B Ayala – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 3B Jimenez – C Sieber – SS Castro – RF Nettles – P Becker

The baseball gods had paid attention. They made the damn Elks hit three homers in the first inning, and that was with Sauerkraut, the bum, also walking two batters. Schneller, Becker, and Escobido all went deep, and it was 5-0 by the time we batted. Sauerkraut returned briefly for an abortive second inning, giving up singles to Arias (…) and van der Zanden before being yanked for Ramirez, who got out of the inning, somehow, with the aid of a double play. Nettles also hit into a double play in the second, killing a frame with Jimenez and Castro on the corners and one out, and probably also the comeback chance. I poured Capt’n Coma into my ice cream.

Maldo had already extended his hitting streak to 17 games the first time through (he had one hit in each of the first two games, but didn’t figure into the scoring much), then was at the plate in the bottom 3rd with Anderson and Ayala on the corners after a pair of singles. He lobbed a 1-1 pitch over Schneller for a third single, and got the Coons on the board, 5-1. Unfortunately Manny then lined out to Ray Ashley, with Sal Ayala having strayed off second base and being doubled off to end the inning… As if that wasn’t enough, Angel Escobido’s second homer of the game, a 2-piece off Seth Green then indeed put the game away, putting Portland in a 6-run hole in the fifth.

Did Van Anderson’s homer in the bottom 5th change anything? It came with Stephon Nettles on base and out of the #9 hole, where Anderson had pinch-hit and singled for Preston Porter (…) in the bottom 3rd and reduced the gap to a slam again. Another run fell out of Travis Sims in the seventh inning, and Sean Marucci fared no better in the eighth. The Raccoons kept getting a runner here and there, but didn’t get back on the board until the bottom 8th when Sieber reached on an error and lefty Ryan McConnell hung a ball that Jose Castro pulverized into hundreds of little souvenirs. But again – that only got the Critters back into slam range, and an actual slam was not anywhere in sight. Never mind that Angelo Montano was also booked for a run in the ninth inning… 10-5 Canadiens. Ayala 1-2; Gutierrez (PH) 1-1; Maldonado 3-4, RBI; Castro 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Anderson (PH) 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI;

Well, you can’t win them all.

But in this case, you should have.

Raccoons (76-63) @ Crusaders (76-63) – September 11-13, 2043

Time to play the Crusaders and take valuable W’s away from another to allow the damn Elks to increase their 6-game lead again. We had already taken the season series, 10-5, but the Crusaders had won three in a row from the Arrowheads. They were tenth in runs scored, but had conceded the fewest runs in the league, with a +44 run differential.

Projected matchups:
Brent Clark (10-12, 4.15 ERA) vs. Ernie Quintero (14-10, 3.64 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (12-10, 3.21 ERA) vs. Dave Hils (12-12, 2.83 ERA)
Corey Mathers (18-10, 3.01 ERA) vs. Paul Paris (14-8, 3.61 ERA)

All right-handers from New York here – IF Dave Hils could make his start. He had been out of his last game in the first inning with back spasms and the Crusaders had yet to confirm or deny his turn on Saturday.

Game 1
POR: 2B Carreno – 1B Ayala – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 3B Jimenez – C Kilmer – SS Castro – RF Nettles – P Clark
NYC: SS Adame – RF Platero – CF Melendez – 3B Riario – 2B Nash – 1B Lovett – LF J. Simmons – P E. Quintero – C H. Alvarez

The first few innings saw usually one guy reaching base and then getting somehow stranded on second base. Brent Clark would run many long counts, and had quite a few picks made by the defense when he gave up line drives. The scoreboard didn’t light up though, even in the fourth inning when Bill Melendez drew a leadoff walk, stole second and then went for home on a single hit by Adam Lovett on a 3-1 pitch. Manny Fernandez fired home for the out, ending the fourth inning of a scoreless game. Clark upped his brittling to two walks in the fifth, leadoff walk to Justin Simmons, and another free pass to Hector Alvarez, who batted behind the pitcher, which was a disgrace that should be merited with a forfeit on the team that did it. Alex Adame lined out to Manny in left, while Jose Platero popped out to short, and the game somehow remained scoreless.

After that Clark struck out the side in the sixth, then left the game after having run up nearly 100 pitches on a 6-inning, 3-hit shutout. A decision was not in the books, because Ernie Quintero held the Raccoons very short in the middle innings. PH Tom Rudd (against Ramirez) and Alvarez (against Jones) hit singles in the bottom 7th, but Jon Craig got a pop from Adame to escape the inning still without a score. Then came Kilmer and led off the eighth with a jack to left-center, and there was the score: 1-0 Portland. That was all the Critters managed in nine innings; Maldonado hit a single in the ninth that led nowhere, while Craig retired the Crusaders in due time in the bottom 8th, then handed the ball to Rella in the ninth. There was a leadoff walk to Randolph Nash, then singles by Rudd and Simmons, and things went downhill in a hurry. Three on, no outs, the Raccoons got a double play grounder from Jason Zimmerman in the #8 hole, a.k.a. the weirdo’s pitcher’s slot, although the tying run scored and the winning run reached third base. Alvarez struck out – sending the game to extras.

The Raccoons had the pitcher in the #5 hole by now, and that spot led off the tenth inning. Van Anderson pinch-hit and walked against right-hander Andy Hyden, but that was all the Coons got off Hyden. The bottom 10th began with an Adame double off Travis Sims, and the runner was bold enough to steal third base. Sims buckled down, struck out Platero and Melendez, then was replaced with rookie Steven Johnston against the left-handed Rich Salek. The Crusaders countered with right-handed pinch-hitter Danny Rico – and that was the winning move. Clean single to left, ballgame. 2-1 Crusaders. Maldonado 2-4; Clark 6.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 5 K;

We had five hits in this game, which was a lower total than the number of relievers that failed their way through the late innings (six).

Game 2
POR: 2B Carreno – 1B Ayala – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 3B Jimenez – C Kilmer – SS Castro – RF Anderson – P Wheatley
NYC: SS Adame – C Alba – RF Platero – LF Melendez – 1B Rudd – 2B Nash – CF Graf – 3B Riario – P Hils

Maldonado put the Coons ahead in the first inning with his 18th home run of the year, which was a solo job, but could have been two if Carreno hadn’t been caught stealing ahead of him. That was about the extent of the Raccoons’ offensive ambitions for the time being, while Wheatley held up until being betrayed by Kilmer. Bill Melendez started the game 2-for-2, and in the fourth stole second base and reached third on Kilmer’s throwing error. From there, Tom Rudd plated him with a sac fly to right, tying the game.

Wheatley didn’t get a strikeout until the sixth inning, whiffing Platero in between a Fernando Alba double and Melendez’ third single of the game, that one giving New York a 2-1 lead… He pitched another inning, holding on to that score line, but the remainder of the team couldn’t have been of less use if they had been engaged in squaredancing. Castro, Anderson, and Nettles went down in order in the eighth, while Zack Kelly held the New Yorkers short. In the ninth it was ex-Coon Josh Livingston to face the top of the order. Carreno struck out, but Ayala singled, then was run for with Jordan Gonzalez, who reached scoring position when Maldo was nicked by a 1-2 pitch. Manny grounded up the middle, where Adame barely reached the ball, and the Crusaders got the out on Maldo, but runners were on the corners for Jimenez. And Ricky Jimenez … flew out to center. 2-1 Crusaders. Carreno 2-4; Wheatley 7.0 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 1 K, L (12-11);

(makes gargling noises)

Game 3
POR: 2B Carreno – 1B Ayala – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 3B de Wit – RF Anderson – SS Gutierrez – P Mathers
NYC: CF Graf – C Alba – RF Platero – LF Melendez – 1B Rudd – 2B Nash – SS Austin – 3B Riario – P Paris

The game started with a Carreno homer, after which the Raccoons immediately went for supper. Mathers scattered four hits in the first two innings, with the second inning yielding a run on hits by Nash and Vittorio Riario, tying the game. The game became untied in the third inning in a violent explosion by Mathers, who allowed a leadoff jack to Alba, then walked Platero, allowed a single to Melendez, and a 2-run triple to Rudd, who would score on Nash’s groundout. That put the Raccoons a slam behind, which also meant the game and the season were over.

The Coons offense had nothing – one base hit besides the Carreno homer through six innings – and the Crusaders tacked on with a Riario home run against Preston Porter in the sixth inning, extending the lead to 6-1. New York added an unearned run in the seventh inning, capitalizing on a Gutierrez throwing error. The Raccoons never got another base hit. Jay de Wit drew a walk in the eighth. And nothing came of that. 7-1 Crusaders.

And with that, the Raccoons would come back to nothing.

In other news

September 11 – The rookie season of DEN OF/1B Tim Turner (.265, 1 HR, 31 RBI) ends with a broken elbow. He is out for the season and questionable for Opening Day 2044.

FL Player of the Week: RIC OF/1B Alex Marquez (.315, 14 HR, 66 RBI), hitting .458 (11-24) with 2 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: NYC C Fernando Alba (.295, 17 HR, 51 RBI), batting .524 (11-21) with 2 HR, 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Our season, just like Jesus Maldonado’s hitting streak, ended in Sunday’s bleak loss to the Crusaders, which completed an untimely sweep that was enough to suck the last bit of hope out of this team. The offense. The ******* offense. The Raccoons scored 13 runs this week. Five of those in a loss to the Elks. That’s no way to win anything, not even the hearts.

VAN (86-58) – 94.7% (+0.2%) – ATL (3), IND (3), MIL (3), NYC (3), OCT (3), POR (3) – .516
NYC (79-63) – 4.8% (+2.7%) – BOS (4), MIL (4), IND (3), SFB (3), TIJ (3), VAN (3) – .489
POR (76-66) – 0.4% (-3.0%) – BOS (4), IND (4), CHA (3), LVA (3), MIL (3), VAN (3) – .474

We never intended to contend this year. I’m just not sure how to contend next year, either…

Three meaningless weeks of games remain. We will play the Indians and Aces next week. Probably badly.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons haven’t reached the modest mark of 700 runs scored since they scored 758 runs in 2038.

We haven’t been close the last two years (665, 659), and we’re stuck at 601 this year and might well sort in below those two years.

But it is nowhere near the fewest runs a Raccoons team has ever scored. The vaunted 1981 Raccoons managed all of 519 runs (3.2/G).