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Old 06-22-2021, 01:21 PM   #92
pauwoo
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Seattle
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June 22nd, 2021

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Colorado Rockies (25-48, .342, 5th NL West) @ Seattle Mariners (51-23, .689, 1st AL West)
In the preseason predictions, the baseball punditry picked the Colorado Rockies to be, record-wise, the 2nd worst team in all of professional baseball. They have met that expectation and more so far during the 2021 campaign and if their recent trade of Trevor Story is any indication, they’re not content to just be bad, they want to be legendarily poor and saunter their way into the number one pick next season. Offensively, the Rockies are, or have been, a solid unit – 1st in AVG (I mean, Coors field, amirite?), 4th in runs scored, 3rd in OBP, and 4th in wOBA. Where they’re lacking, obviously, is in the pitching/defense department where they are dead last in runs against, starters ERA, FIP, and defensive efficiency. It’s a tale of two cities… one, a burgeoning metropolis fast-tracked as a destination location designation for tourists. The other a cesspool with a gutted downtown, poor local government, and no community outreach. What we have here is another solid gold opportunity to keep this train rolling, to back up the Banks money truck and take what we want. Anything less would be, as they say, uncivilized.

75 of 162: Austin Gomber (3-5, 5.25) @ Marco Gonzales (9-4, 2.61)
Win, 7-1.
We’re Miley Cyrus, wielding a sledgehammer, over-wrought, and emotional – riding that wrecking ball right into the face of our competition. Here, thanks in large part to Marco Gonzales, we’d shut down the vaunted Colorado offense and expose their defense just like everyone else does… Gonz gave us 7.2 with 9 hits (he let the defense eat), 1 earned, 1 walk, and 7 K’s, while Joc went 2 for 2 with a 2-run DING DONG and a couple of free passes, and Kelenic went 2 for 5 with TWO DINGERS, both solo shots, and the runs that came with them. Rounding out a game full of highlights here… Haniger hit a two-bagger that brought one in, we got 2-out RBIs from Meetch, Joc, & Jared, a SAC FLY from K-Lew, and a swiped bag from Moore gave each and every one of our fans something to get up for. All in, this was another rock-solid effort from a club that has taken on the look of the real deal. Evander in his prime. The cock of the walk, baby.

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Elsewhere: KC’s Bobby Witt Jr went 3 for 4 with TWO BOMBS, 2 RBI, and 3 runs during an all-systems-go, 10-4 Rubber Ducky, win over the remarkably pedestrian New York Yankees. With the win, the Royals improve to a slightly improbable 37-34 record while the Bronx Bombers fall to a low-key disappointing 38-33.

Record: 52-23, .693, 1st AL West
Up Next: We’ll pop the top on a cool, cold 12 ouncer of Rainier Beer, putting those Coors Yellow Dogs to shame, and wake up tomorrow no worse for wear, bent on earning a mini-sweep against the Colorado Rockies.
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Last edited by pauwoo; 06-22-2021 at 11:00 PM.
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