[Westheim]

Originally Posted by pgjocki

I'm putting money with my booky that you will trade for Barry within 3 years; otherwise he's the ace that got away.

If I actually got him, he'd lose his arms in a shoe-tying accident, and we all know it.

+++

Raccoons (39-35) vs. Condors (27-48) – June 29-July 1, 2043

The carcassless Condors were in the bottom three in runs scored and runs allowed, with the most runs given up overall. Their .360 winning percentage already hinted at some general problems with the roster. They had no defense, no speed, little power, and their pitchers more often than not couldn’t get anybody out. And yet, the Coons had lost two of three the first time around this year. They had a couple of notable injuries, including infielder “Nine Fingers” Freeman and outfielder Justin Nelson.

Projected matchups:
Jake Jackson (6-6, 4.68 ERA) vs. Marc Hubbard (4-10, 4.74 ERA)
Brent Clark (7-5, 3.74 ERA) vs. Aaron Howell (6-4, 4.22 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (4-8, 3.48 ERA) vs. Matt Schwartz (3-6, 3.42 ERA)

The Condors would bring only right-handed pitchers to the mound for this series. Unfortunately the Raccoons had lost their prime lefty hitter in Manny Fernandez and had to botch things together with whatever was left.

Game 1
TIJ: CF Phinazee – 1B Willie Ojeda – LF Toohey – C T. Black – 2B J. Matos – 3B Barcia – RF R. Phillips – SS Rose – P Hubbard
POR: 2B Carreno – 1B Ayala – 3B Jimenez – CF Maldonado – LF de Wit – C Kilmer – SS Castro – RF Casas – P Jackson

The Raccoons showed up wholly **** in the opener. De Wit and Castro hit singles in the second, but were stranded when Casas struck out, and in turn the Condors waffled Jackson for seven hits and four runs in the first three innings. Bryce Toohey hit a home run to left in the first inning, and Jackson had two outs on the board in the third inning before imploding spectacularly once again. Willie Ojeda doubled. Toohey walked, and Terry Black singled home Ojeda. Jackson walked Matos, then gave up two more runs on a Sergio Barcia single. Because Ricky Jimenez dropped a foul pop, the last two runs were unearned. Hallelujah. It didn’t get a whole lot better in the fourth. Chris Rose legged off an infield single, and after a bunt by the pitcher Hubbard, Jackson walked Mal Phinazee, then gave up a single to Ojeda. Jose Casas threw out Rose at the plate, and Toohey hacked out on a 3-2 in the dirt to get Jackson out of the inning. The fifth began with another leadoff single by Black, a walk to Matos, and that was the end for Jackson. 10 hits and four walks in four-plus were well enough. Zack Kelly replaced him, threw a wild pitch, gave up a sac fly, a walk to Rose, and an RBI single to Hubbard, 6-0.

The slow bleed stopped with a couple different relievers. Jon Craig got five outs, Chuck Jones got four. The Raccoons rallied for all of one ****** run with an RBI triple that scored Jimenez in the sixth, and that was absolutely it. Only Josh Rella, thrown into the ninth inning of a hopelessly lost game, went under with another three hits and a Casas error contributing to two more runs (one earned). 8-1 Condors. De Wit 2-3; Gutierrez (PH) 1-1; Waltz 1-1;

Well, wasn’t that game a joy. Jackson’s ERA was closing in on five again. Yes, he was our Opening Day pitcher. At this rate we should just go ahead and designate the rancidest reliever as Opening Day starter, so he can catch the curse and be swiftly be released.

Can somebody pitch a good game, please? We’re running precariously low on bullpen juice!

Game 2
TIJ: 3B Barcia – RF Willie Ojeda – LF Toohey – 2B J. Matos – C T. Black – 1B Lorensen – CF Pohl – SS Kilgallen – P Howell
POR: 2B Carreno – 1B Ayala – 3B Jimenez – CF Maldonado – LF de Wit – C Kilmer – SS Castro – RF Nettles – P Clark

Tuesday’s game began with a Barcia homer well outta leftfield, then a Carreno throwing error that put Ojeda on second base. Brent Clark was kind enough to get a crucial strikeout to keep that runner stranded, but I marked an L in the pocket schedule right away. But he also put the leadoff man on base in every inning, which was something that had the potential to make me stark raving mad, and also imploded his pitch count in the third inning when a leadoff walk to Barcia was followed by an Ojeda double. Two runners in scoring position, Clark got a grounder from Toohey to Jimenez, keeping the runner pinned, then labored his way through a strikeout to Matos before losing Black on balls, filling the bases… and also Ryan Lorensen, who made his season debut, and thus pushed in the second run for Tijuana. Pat Pohl struck out, stranding three. Toohey hit a double to lead off the fifth inning and scored on two productive outs, though.

It was 3-0 through five, with the Raccoons having but one base hit and two walks, and no clue how to win a ballgame anymore. The top of the order would begin the sixth, though, and Carreno and Ayala, not reaching base with any sort of regularity, either of them, hit a pair of singles to go to the corners. Jimenez’ RBI groundout was as good as it got for Portland, with another two poor outs after that stranding Ayala in scoring position.

Brent Clark held out for seven innings, whiffing nine on 109 pitches, then saw the first two Critters hit singles again in the seventh. Kilmer to left, Castro to center, and how about a rightfielder doing ANYTHING now? Nettles swung at a 3-1, I screamed, but Nettles singled and the bases were loaded. The best we could find on the bench was Omar Gutierrez, hitting .237, but at least from the left side against Howell. He poked at another 3-1 pitch, hit a comebacker to Howell, and Kilmer was forced out at home plate. Carreno hit a liner with one out – but into Matos’ mitten. Ayala popped out, stranding a full set that had reached with nobody out. A leadoff walk to Matos, offered by Alex Ramirez, and an RBI double to center by Black instead plated a tack-on run for the Condors. Seth Green pitched the ninth inning… or at least some of hit. Hit, hit, walk, walk, yank. He retired nobody. One run was already in, and the Condors got three more – Craig walked in two, and plated the third with a wild pitch. 8-1 Condors. Ayala 2-3, BB; Nettles 2-4;

Seth Green (5.17 ERA) was axed after the game. 27 walks in 38.1 innings was a bit too much for my taste. 25-year-old right-hander Sam Bowman, who had a 3.38 ERA in AAA five years after being taken in the 10th round of the draft, and was overall entirely unremarkable, was promoted to take the spot.

Game 3
TIJ: CF Phinazee – 1B Willie Ojeda – LF Toohey – C T. Black – 2B J. Matos – 3B Barcia – RF R. Phillips – SS Rose – P Schwartz
POR: 2B Carreno – 1B Ayala – 3B Jimenez – CF Maldonado – C Sieber – LF Nettles – SS Gutierrez – RF Waltz – P Wheatley

Wheatley stranded a runner on third base in both of the first two innings before coming to bat in the bottom 2nd of a scoreless game, with Sieber, Nettles, and Waltz having reached base on two walks sandwiching a bloop single. Not a lot of authoritative hitting. At least Wheatley got his first RBI of the year with a sac fly to left, giving the Raccoons their first lead of the week with his shy floater to Bryce Toohey. Carreno popped out to Matos to waste the rest of the runners. Wheatley batted again with two aboard and two outs in the bottom 4th, but grounded out to Chris Rose that time.

At least he was in some sort of control of the Condors’ nominally meek lineup and allowed only one hit and two walks through five innings. And the Raccoons tacked on a run in the fifth, somehow. Carreno singled, Ayala singled, and Carreno was caught stealing third base. Jimenez grounded out before Maldonado was walked intentionally and Sieber walked in a full count. The wild Schwartz then walked Nettles on four pitches to push in the run, but Gutierrez struck out swinging to strand another three.

Willie Ojeda singled off Wheatley in the sixth, but Toohey hit a comebacker for a double play and the Raccoons’ rookie remained sturdy, while the offense stranded another pair, with Carreno and Ayala reaching in unearned fashion with two outs in the sixth. Wheatley lasted 7.2 innings before being lifted for Chuck Jones with Rose on second base and the lefty top of the order up again. Wheatley was on 104 pitches. Jones was fresh and got his only batter on a grounder to second base. The Coons loaded the bases in unearned fashion again in the eighth. Gutierrez singled and was caught stealing (the third Coon to be caught stealing), Waltz walked, Carreno reached on an error, and Ayala walked again. Jimenez batted against a new lefty in Ricardo Marquez with three on and two down, and grounded out to Rose. I was almost through my chewstick and convinced that Rella would blow the game to hell now. The Condors went down, though, on two grounders and Nettles snatching a deep fly by Terry Black. 2-0 Blighters. Sieber 1-2, 2 BB; Wheatley 7.2 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 6 K, W (5-8);

Raccoons (40-37) vs. Titans (34-44) – July 2-5, 2043

Here was another trite team, let’s see how horribly we could use against them! The Titans had lost five straight, which wasn’t nearly a challenge to the Critters, and six of seven to the Critters, which sounded like they were due a 4-game sweep. They were seventh in runs scored and second from the bottom in runs allowed.

Projected matchups:
Corey Mathers (10-5, 2.94 ERA) vs. Jamal Barrow (0-8, 6.66 ERA)
Cory Lambert (2-6, 4.44 ERA) vs. Michael Donovan (6-3, 4.23 ERA)
Jake Jackson (6-7, 4.87 ERA) vs. Ryan Kinner (3-6, 5.96 ERA)
Brent Clark (7-6, 3.75 ERA) vs. Nick Myers (5-4, 3.61 ERA)

Donovan would be a southpaw on Friday.

The Titans had a pile of injuries, including starters Ignacio del Rio and Chris “Tuba” Turner, and position players Moises Avila and Oscar Aguirre, the latter of which had just gone onto the DL for the rest of the season with torn ankle ligaments.

Game 1
BOS: LF Liceaga – RF Ritchey – C D. Phillips – 1B C. Cortes – CF Tortora – 3B I. Lugo – SS Greeley – 2B Thennes – P Barrow
POR: 2B Carreno – 3B de Wit – 1B Ayala – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – LF Nettles – SS Castro – RF Casas – P Mathers

Routinely ravaged Jamal Barrow faced the minimum in the first three innings, which wasn’t something that should come as a shock to seasoned suffering Raccoons fans. Ayala hit a 2-out infield single in the bottom 4th, and Barrow hit Maldonado with a pitch, but Kilmer floated out to Joe Ritchey to end the inning. Corey Mathers – still without a no-decision in ’43 – did his best, but struck out nobody through five innings and survived on stingy defense that held the Titans to two base hits and no runs. He then actually got a scratched-out lead in the bottom 5th. Nettles legged out an infield single, stole second while Devin Phillips fumbled the ball, and came around on two productive outs, including Jose Casas’ sac fly. Mathers spontaneously responded with two strikeouts in a shutdown sixth, but then suffered three straight singles with two outs by Cullen Tortora, Ivan Lugo, and PH Mark Vermillion in the seventh inning to get the game tied. I was bitter and moping and pretended to be concerned more with brushing Honeypaws than with the fourth utterly frustrating game of the week – and it was only Thursday!!

Mathers eeked out another scoreless frame in the eighth, but that would be it for him. If his decisions streak had to hold, the Raccoons had to get him the W in the eighth now! Jamal Barrow, infuriatingly still in the game, got a soft grounder from Casas, but conceded a single to Ricky Jimenez in the #9 hole. Carreno popped out, Jimenez was picked off, and Mathers had his no-decision. Zack Kelly pitched the top 9th against mostly left-handed Titans, but two on base anyway, but PH Paul Kuehn popped out to end the inning. Barrow also got a no-decision, being lifted after eight in a frustrating 1-1 tie. Right-hander Jose Colon pitched to the 2-3-4 Critters in the bottom 9th. Honeypaws’ fur was spotless now, so only the cookie jar remained to fake majority interest. Jay de Wit hit a leadoff single, but Ayala was asked to bunt and knocked the ball back to third base so hard, Ivan Lugo got the lead runner. Maldo’s groundout advanced Ayala to second base, where Van Anderson pinch-ran for him, but couldn’t score on Kilmer’s single right in front of Joe Ritchey. He scored on Nettles’ single, though. 2-1 Blighters. De Wit 2-4; Nettles 2-4, RBI; Jimenez (PH) 1-1; Mathers 8.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 3 K;

Even when winning, they are not a great joy to watch this week.

Or this year.

Game 2
BOS: LF Liceaga – RF Ritchey – C D. Phillips – 1B C. Cortes – CF Tortora – 3B I. Lugo – SS Greeley – 2B Thennes – P Donovan
POR: 2B Carreno – LF de Wit – 3B Jimenez – 1B Maldonado – C Sieber – SS Castro – CF Waltz – RF Casas – P Lambert

Former Raccoon Carlos Cortes and Thomas Greeley combined for two hits and a 2-out run in the fourth inning, the first run on the board on Friday. Lambert scattered quite a few runners, while the Raccoons had no base hits the first time through. Maldonado and Waltz did reach base. The former was caught stealing, the latter stole a base, and neither scored. While the Raccoons kept hitting nothing whatsoever, the Titans got another 2-out RBI single from Greeley in the sixth inning for a 2-0 lead. They also managed to make two outs on the base paths against the Critters in the same inning, and were still winning this game; the inning began with a walk to Cortes and Tortora getting hit with a pitch. Lugo grounded into a force at second, while Greeley singled home Cortes just as Lugo was slapped out between second and third base. Jonathan Thennes then also singled, but Greeley was now going for third base, and was thrown out by Casas, ending the inning.

It was then LAMBERT in the bottom 6th to get the Coons into the H column with a single to center. Carreno forced him out with a grounder, then was caught stealing. Donovan then singled off Lambert in the seventh, the first of three singles in the inning, and scored another run, 3-0. Chuck Jones came in with two on and two out, but walked Tortora, then left immediately for Craig, who got a pop to third base from Lugo to end the inning. While the Coons got a hit from a position player eventually, a Castro single in the eighth, it was all ****, and it was all *****. The ninth inning saw Sauerkraut, left over from the eighth, get out Danny Liceaga, a lefty hitter, before Sam Bowman made his major league debut. Joe Ritchey singled, he walked Phillips, and then threw a wild pitch. Calm your ******* ****!! Bowman struck out Cortes, which didn’t shock me, because ex-Coon – I had *seen* it. Tortora popped out to short, which was not a given. Colon faced the Coons in the bottom 9th, beginning with Casas, who grounded out to short. Nettles hit for Bowman and grounded out. Gutierrez hit for Carreno… and grounded out. 3-0 Titans.

CAN ANYBODY HEAR SWING A ******* STICK???

Maldonado and Carreno got Saturday off. (marks an L in the schedule)

Game 3
BOS: LF Liceaga – RF Ritchey – C D. Phillips – 1B C. Cortes – CF Tortora – 3B I. Lugo – SS Greeley – 2B Thennes – P Kinner
POR: 1B Ayala – 3B de Wit – LF Nettles – C Kilmer – SS Castro – 2B Gutierrez – RF Waltz – CF Anderson – P Jackson

Kinner struck out four Raccoons the first time through, including Justin Waltz with Castro incidentally at third base and two outs in the bottom 2nd. Jackson allowed a walk to Ritchey and nailed Phillips for early panic in the first inning, but didn’t allow a hit until Cortes sunk a double in the gap in left-center in the fourth. That was with Phillips on base and reaching third, having drawn a leadoff walk. Tortora’s groundout and Lugo’s sac fly scored the runners, and the Raccoons were down 2-0, and with 98% probability that would be a terminal condition.

But idiots win the lottery all the time, despite terrible odds, and the Raccoons made up the deficit, despite terrible odds, and despite me mixing some stuff I had found under the trusty brown couch and which was of unknown age and provenance into my Capt’n Coma. Kinner walked Waltz to begin the bottom 5th, then hung one that even Van Anderson couldn’t miss and fired it into the seats in rightfield – a game-tying 2-piece! Inspired, Jackson singled to center, but the 1-2-3 in the lineup made 1-2-3 outs and that was that… and then he nailed Tortora and gave up singles to Greeley and Thennes in the sixth to fall behind right away again… In the seventh he gave up a leadoff single to the opposing pitcher, with Kinner singled home by Devin Phillips with two outs against reliever Alex Ramirez, who did not provide much tangible relief at all. Not that the Raccoons weren’t stirring – Waltz and Anderson hit singles to begin the bottom 7th. And then Maldonado hit into a fielder’s choice and Ayala into a soul-murdering double play. Instead the Raccoons’ pen collapsed for four runs between Sauerkraut and Bowman in the ninth inning. The former had pitched a scoreless eighth, then gave up a walk to Thennes and a double to Tony Graham. Kuehn hit a sac fly, Ritchey homered off Bowman, and more runners amounted to another run off Bowman, the newest disappointing Raccoon.

So the Coons were down 8-2 in the middle of the ninth. The bottom of the inning seemed like a throwaway, and the Titans went to the soft end of the bullpen, which created a mess. Gutierrez walked. Waltz singled. Anderson plated a run with a groundout, 8-3. Carreno hit for Bowman and hit an RBI single. Sal Ayala singled. Guillermo Vinales took over as third pitcher of the inning, walked Jay de Wit, and suddenly the Raccoons had the tying run at the plate… in Nettles. Maldonado had long been used up, but at least Vinales was a right-hander. He also struck out. Kilmer grounded out to short. 8-5 Titans. Ayala 2-5, RBI; Waltz 2-3, BB; Anderson 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Carreno (PH) 1-1, RBI;

(groans!)

Game 4
BOS: CF Tortora – RF Ritchey – LF C. Cortes – 3B I. Lugo – SS Greeley – 1B T. Graham – C Kuehn – 2B Thennes – P N. Myers
POR: 2B Carreno – 3B de Wit – 1B Ayala – CF Maldonado – 3B Jimenez – SS Castro – C Kilmer – RF Nettles – P Clark

Lugo doubled home a run in the first, but it only got worse in the second, when Brent Clark loaded the bases with the 6-7-8 batters, nobody out, and then fell 3-0 to Nick Myers, who then swung … and singled to center, too. That made it 2-0, a bases-loaded walk to Tortora made it 3-0, and Ritchey hit a sac fly, 4-0. Cortes hit into a double play, which had not made me happy a while back, and right now there was no reason for happiness anymore either. There was just finding the good rope that Maud had hidden away. The Raccoons shed Stephon Nettles by the third inning, running into the fence in pursuit of a Tony Graham fly and leaving the game with a sprained elbow. Casas replaced him, then hit a 2-run homer in the bottom 5th in his first time at the plate, collecting Kilmer. Of course by then Brent Clark had thrown away another run to the Titans, and the Raccoons still trailed by three. In the sixth they trailed by five; Clark had two outs before giving up a ******* single to the ******* opposing pitcher, then nailed Tortora. Ramirez came in for the right-handed Ritchey, and got raked for a 2-run double.

Bottom 6th, down 7-2, the Raccoons were again invited back into the game by Titans pitchers. Ayala led off with a single, advanced on a wild pitch, and to third on a groundout. But there were already two outs before Castro singled him in, and then Kilmer went deep to left, 7-5. Casas singled, Myers was yanked, and Gutierrez walked against Vinales, putting the tying run on base. The tying runs reached scoring position when Vinales walked Carreno to fill the bases. And then de Wit popped out to Thennes on the first pitch. On Aruba, all the lights went out at the same time.

Vinales offered two walks to Ayala and Maldo to begin the bottom 7th, putting the tying runs on base right away again. Jimenez singled to right. Damn it! Three on, no outs! We’re doomed! Castro hit a floater to shallow center that Tortora couldn’t reach, and everybody advanced by one base, with Ayala scoring, 7-6. Kilmer tied the game with a sac fly to center, but Casas and Sieber made ****** outs, keeping the remaining runners stranded. Chuck Jones held the Titans in place in the eighth inning, but the Critters only reached base with two outs in the bottom 8th against Justin Johns. Ayala singled, Maldo walked, and Jimenez grounded out to Lugo… He was then out in a double switch, with Josh Rella coming into the #5 hole and Van Anderson batting ninth (Maldo went to third base). Lugo singled, but Rella struck out two in the inning in keeping the Titans pinned. Jose Colon then came up for the bottom 9th, putting Castro on base with a soft single. Kilmer lined out before Castro stole second base. Colon then walked Casas on four pitches, which brought up Anderson – and the Raccoons had only Justin Waltz left on the bench, so there was no point in even glancing there. Anderson struck out, Carreno grounded out, and the game went to extras.

Rella had another two strikeouts in the 10th, keeping the Titans of the bases. Waltz batted for him with two outs in the bottom 10th after Maldonado had singled to right off Colon. Waltz also found a hit in rightfield, a single that was not enough to end the game, but sent Maldo to third base. Castro, however, ended the game with a gapper in right-center. 8-7 Critters. Ayala 2-4, 2 BB; Jimenez 2-5; Waltz (PH) 1-1; Castro 4-6, 2B, 3 RBI; Casas 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Rella 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K, W (2-0);

In other news

July 1 – TOP SP Chris Inderrieden (6-4, 3.67 ERA) 2-hits the Scorpions in a 4-0 shutout win.
July 2 – The season of Scorpions SP Lazaro Cavazos (4-4, 5.75 ERA) ends with a torn back muscle.
July 3 – DEN INF Ronnie Thompson (.363, 2 HR, 53 RBI) might miss three weeks with an oblique strain.
July 4 – 25-year-old Denver INF/RF Brian Bass (.184, 1 HR, 7 RBI) hits a walkoff single in the 15th inning to beat the Warriors, 8-7. Bass is on his second cup of coffee in the major leagues.
July 5 – The Stars trade C Pacio Torreo (.289, 4 HR, 19 RBI) to the Scorpions for OF/1B/3B Phil Rogers (.194, 6 HR, 37 RBI) and a prospect.
July 5 – Capitals SP Jerry Banda (8-8, 3.57 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout against the Cyclones, whiffing six in the 7-0 win.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 2B/SS Billy Bouldin (.328, 2 HR, 39 RBI), hitting .500 (15-30) with 1 HR, 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: NYC SS Alex Adame (.327, 5 HR, 36 RBI), batting .485 (16-33) with 1 HR, 6 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.350, 9 HR, 53 RBI), hitting .376 with 3 HR, 21 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: POR UT Jesus Maldonado (.331, 12 HR, 46 RBI), whipping it at .337 with 8 HR, 20 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: DAL CL Matt Simmons (5-3, 1.27 ERA, 11 SV), being flawless after being promoted to closer, 2-0 with 0.00 ERA in 16 IP with 11 SV
CL Pitcher of the Month: ATL SP Tim Scott (5-0, 2.63 ERA), starting six times for a 5-0 record with 2.01 ERA, 31 K
FL Rookie of the Month: PIT OF Felix Rojas (.294, 1 HR, 30 RBI), poking .313 with 0 HR, 9 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: IND C Jason Rose (.245, 4 HR, 28 RBI), hitting .286 with 4 HR, 18 RBI

Complaints and stuff

While Seth Green, disgraced, cleared waivers and accepted an assignment to St. Petersburg, there were more issues with the pitching staff that were less easily disposed of. In case you’re wondering, another $9.75M and four guaranteed years on that genious 6-year deal with Rake Jackson.

What a terrible week, especially offensively. We had SIX runs in the first FIVE games (and somehow won two). And there was no help in AAA, either. Shuta Yamamoto was hitting a little bit, but I was through that thought at the present time. 2039 third-rounder Brian Snyder was a terrible defender that was hitting .355 for the season between AA and AAA, and almost the same for either team! Nobody quite knew how he was doing it, o where to put him on the field. He played all infield positions (badly) and also some rightfield. Granted, rightfield for us was a bit of an open sore, oozing goo. Were we THIS desperate? It might not take much longer to go all bonkers and bring up Snyder.

That Stephon Nettles will hit the DL with the bum elbow – two weeks should do – might help out Snyder as well.

Last year’s supplemental-rounder OF Ken Mills was hitting .171 for Ham Lake after a recent promotion there, but stopped doing such folly this week – he tore his posterior cruciate ligament and will be on crutches for the rest of the season.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons don’t have a losing month yet this season.

11-10, 14-14, 14-13, 3-2.

I’m not saying it’s pretty. I’m just saying they have yet to be pushed over the brink.