[Westheim]

Raccoons (60-59) vs. Capitals (59-59) – August 13-15, 2040

The Caps were tenth in runs scored, but fourth in runs allowed in the Federal League. The overall package clearly didn’t work, with their .500 record trying its best to mask their -39 run differential (Critters: 0). They had a number of injuries to their already wonky lineup, with Rich Falzone, Brian Schneider, and Nate Evans all on the DL. As hinted at last week, the Critters had won the last three meetings with the Caps, including two out of three games in the most recent series played in 2038.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (10-7, 3.11 ERA) vs. Bryce Sparkes (13-9, 3.51 ERA)
Angelo Montano (3-7, 6.52 ERA) vs. Josh Long (9-8, 3.76 ERA)
Ian Wilson (4-3, 1.98 ERA) vs. Jose Alaniz (9-9, 3.81 ERA)

It wasn’t often that we’d play a team with not one, but two former Critters lined up in their rotation. Both Sparkes and Alaniz (who was the only lefty opposition in the set) received a warm welcome-back applause from the thin home crowd. Same for Dave Myers. Nobody remembered much of Dusty Kulp, Dennis Citriniti, or Vince Lutch, while Adam Avakian mostly drew hisses. Me included.

Game 1
WAS: CF T. Romero – RF Ed Thompson – 2B Arnold – LF Weinstein – 1B Avakian – 3B D. Myers – C Petroni – SS Lutch – P Sparkes
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – SS Hunter – 1B Salazar – P Sabre

The Coons loaded the bases on three incredibly soft singles to begin the bottom of the first inning, but all they got was a Fernandez sac fly before Kilmer whiffed and Balaski flew out to Tony Romero. Damian Salazar made it 2-0 in the bottom 2nd with his first career home run, a shot to left in his 75th career at-bat, which was not the ratio that would get you loved around here. Just ask Avakian. (hiss!)

Giampaolo Petroni opened the third inning with a single to right-center after Sabre had retired the first six in a row. Lutch struck out, except that his bat grazed Kilmer’s mitten and he was sent to first base for catcher’s interference. That extra base gave the Caps a run on Ed Thompson’s 2-out single to center before Logan Arnold grounded out to short to strand two. Kilmer’s game didn’t get better after that, either, as he didn’t last past the third inning, being ejected for going ballistic after being called out on strikes to end the bottom 3rd with Manny in scoring position after a hit and a stolen base. Tony Morales replaced him for obvious reasons. The change of catchers out of the blue didn’t do Sabre any good, with the Caps ripping three singles (with a double play) off him to tie the game in the fourth before Vince Lutch hit a 2-out, 2-run homer to left to give them a 4-2 lead.

That wasn’t the end though; the Raccoons came back in the bottom 5th with Sparkes walking Cosmo and allowing a single to Maldonado. Manny Fernandez ripped a baseball to deep right for a 3-run homer, giving Portland a 5-4 lead, but another single by Lutch and Tony Romero’s RBI double in the seventh ended up leaving both Sabre and Sparkes with a no-decision in a game deadlocked at five. The Caps then loaded the bases on Chuck Jones in dismal fashion in the eighth – and with no body out – with a leadoff single by Avakian (hiss!), who was hitting .268 with five homers at that point, and then two batters reaching because Jones tried to nip the lead runner and couldn’t get him either time on comebackers. Yanked with a real mess on the basepaths, Jones saw Lindstrom surrender the go-ahead run on a Lutch sac fly, but then retired Aaron Botzet and Tony Romero to get out of the inning. The Critters couldn’t get through a cavalcade of relievers in the bottom 8th that included Kulp and Citriniti, but then had Jose Brito and Alberto Ramos draw leadoff walks off Jesse Allison in the bottom 9th, putting the tying and go-ahead runs on base. Cosmo popped out. Maldo flew out to right. And Fernandez also flew to deep right, but also into an out at the fence. 6-5 Capitals. Maldonado 3-5; Balaski 2-4;

Game 2
WAS: CF T. Romero – 1B Avakian – 2B Arnold – C Came – LF Weinstein – 3B D. Myers – RF B. Rios – SS Lutch – P J. Long
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Brito – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Balaski – SS Hunter – 1B Anderson – P Montano

The story of Tuesday’s game was a rather foreseeable one; Josh Long was good, and Montano was anything but. At least he lasted a while, despite getting whacked around from the start, with Chris Came hitting a 2-run single as early as the first inning. Lutch hit a solo homer in the second, and the Caps tacked on another run in the fifth, while Josh Long scattered four hits and would be working on a shutout through five innings if it hadn’t been for an error by Vince Lutch giving the Raccoons an extra out in the fourth, which put Morales on base with one out. The Raccoons scored him with a pair of 2-out singles by Hunter and Anderson, but after five trailed 4-1 and felt like they trailed by more. While the Caps were done scoring on Montano, who lasted six and two thirds and thus longer than ever anticipated, the Raccoons didn’t land another base hit until Berto singled with one out in the bottom 7th, and then Brito was right there for a 6-4-3 double play to get rid of him. Maldo had leadoff single in the eighth that went absolutely nowhere, while *Citriniti* retired the Raccoons in order in the ninth inning. 4-1 Capitals.

That was a just a terrible game, top to bottom. The only good thing about it was that it lasted well short of three hours and they didn’t make me look at their misery for longer than absolutely necessary…

Game 3
WAS: CF T. Romero – LF Ed Thompson – RF S. Martin – 2B Arnold – 3B Falzone – C Came – 1B Avakian – SS D. Myers – P Alaniz
POR: 2B Brito – 3B Trevino – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – LF Fernandez – SS Kilgallen – 1B Salazar – RF Castro – P Wilson

Portland scored first, with Brito and Cosmo reaching the corners right away in the first inning. Maldo’s sac fly started and concluded the scoring effort in the inning, though, with Kilmer and Fernandez retired on poor outs. After an uneventful second inning it was Ian Wilson – who was not allowing a base hit through three – to open the bottom 3rd with a double to left. He scored on Trevino’s single, 2-0, and while Maldo forced out Cosmo with a grounder, he reached third base on Kilmer’s single after that. Manny hit a 1-2 pitch to deep center, but couldn’t beat Tony Romero’s reach, and the catch stranded the runners.

Washington remained hitless until the fifth, which Chris Came opened with a homer to center, which sure took care of that concern. The following inning, Romero’s leadoff double and an RBI single to right by Scott Martin tied the game at two. Maldonado *robbed* Logan Arnold in deep center after that, keeping the game at least tied for the time being. The stamina-deficient Wilson made it through seven innings, barely, maintaining the 2-2 tie and ended up with no decision when all the Raccoons did in the bottom 7th with was Anderson legging out an infield single with two outs in Wilson’s spot, only for Brito to ground out easily. Alex Ramirez maintained the tie in the eighth, but Brent Clark was clipped for singles by the just-activated Rich Falzone and Came, then a walk to Avakian and a Myers sac fly for the go-ahead run in the top 9th. Not all was lost yet, with Kilgallen ripping a 1-out triple off Allison in the bottom of the inning. Tony Morales batted for Salazar and hit a sac fly to right, staving off defeat for now, and Castro’s fly out to center sent the game to extra innings. The 10th inning saw Brent Clark retire nobody, conceding two hits and two walks before the Caps continued to ravage Chuck Jones for another bushel of hits. They scored six runs in an abortive, half-arsed attempt by the Raccoons not to get swept. The Raccoons went out in order in the bottom of the inning. 9-3 Capitals. Trevino 2-4, RBI; Anderson (PH) 1-1; Wilson 7.0 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K and 1-2, 2B;

(sigh!)

Bright sides. Only 40 games left, and we were now also emotionally well prepared to face the damn Elks.

The three games on the weekend mattered so little, I didn’t even seek out the additional, if reluctant, emotional support of any of my dear co-workers. After the sixpack in the 10th on Wednesday I just got up, grabbed Honeypaws, and went home without saying a word, slamming the door so hard, part of the bobblehead case collapsed once again.

Raccoons (60-62) @ Canadiens (77-43) – August 17-19, 2040

The damn Elks led the division by about ten games, they were totally gonna make the playoffs, and they were 11-1 over the stupid Coons, none of which mattered too greatly anymore. First in runs scored, first in runs allowed, first in this and that, yada-yada, I don’t … just bring it. (hugs Honeypaws a little tighter)

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (5-5, 3.05 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (16-3, 2.49 ERA)
Sal Lozano (1-2, 5.08 ERA) vs. Paul Medvec (2-1, 2.95 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (10-7, 3.27 ERA) vs. Eric Weitz (10-6, 3.26 ERA)

All right-handers, including the rookie Medvec, who was the #75 prospect in the league.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Brito – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Balaski – SS Hunter – 1B Salazar – P Moreno
VAN: LF Foss – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – 3B Sprague – 1B J. Lopez – RF DeVita – SS Cabral – P Sealock

Nels was beleaguered from the start, with the damn Elks allowing both a walk and a hit in each of the first two innings, including a Dan Schneller single that extended a 15-game hitting streak, but didn’t allow a run and got his ERA under three again with three scoreless to begin the game. The Critters went zip-for-everything the first time through against Sealock, but then Berto slapped a leadoff single through the left side in the fourth. Brito was on spot again, hitting into a double play, and Sealock continued to face the minimum through four. Balaski and Hunter hit back-to-back 2-out singles in the fifth inning then, but Balaski was thrown out trying to go to third base against the arm of Marc DeVita. Moreno kept grinding away on the mighty Elks lineup, getting through five shutout innings, but the actual line was definitely not pretty: four hits, four walks, and only one strikeout (against Jerry Outram!), and 94 pitches in five frames. He got a groundout from Glenn Sprague to begin the bottom 6th, then allowed singles to Johnny Lopez and DeVita and was replaced with Jones, who got a double play grounder from Ramon Cabral to end the sixth inning and prevented Moreno from going on the hook. We’d chalk that one up as a moral victory for him!

In the real world, the dumb Coons scored as soon as Moreno was out of the game. Brito opened with a double to center in the seventh, then scored on Maldo’s double to right, 1-0. Manny walked, Morales singled, and there were three on with nobody out, which made me announce impending doom to Honeypaws. K, pop, K went the Coons, stranding three runners on base. Chuck Jones blew the lead with back-to-back singles hit by Aaron Foss and Timóteo Clemente, plus Outram’s sac fly, in the bottom 7th. Dan Schneller then hit a double off Ramirez, but Clemente was too slow to score on such a play, and both were stranded when Sprague struck out. Ramirez then put Lopez and DeVita on base to begin the bottom 8th, and this time there was no recovery with Garavito and Zabala continuing to fudge up behind him and concede both runners before somehow Schneller lined out to strand three runners on base. Tony Morales hit a jack off Tim Zimmerman in the ninth that narrowed the gap to one run, but it also came with two outs. Balaski grounded out to Schneller to end the game. 3-2 Canadiens. Morales 2-4, HR, RBI; Moreno 5.1 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 1 K;

(flicks off TV and turns to Honeypaws) That could have gone way, way worse…!

(inadvertently looks skywards to check whether the baseball gods are angered already)

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Balaski – SS Hunter – 1B Anderson – P Lozano
VAN: RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – 1B J. Lopez – 3B Sprague – LF DeVita – SS Sibley – P Medvec

The middle game was again scoreless early on and Lozano was about as solid as Moreno the night before, allowing five runners in the first three innings, although double plays and bad baserunning kept the damn Elks short. Medvec also hit a single off him in the third inning, then shuffled the bases full in the fourth for Portland. He nicked Maldo to begin the inning, then added Kilmer and Balaski with 1-out walks to fill the bases *and* there was not *nobody* out, so we could maybe actually ******* score here! Tony Hunter slapped a grounder to right which Schneller knocked down, but couldn’t play for an out, giving the Raccoons the lead with the infield single. Anderson and Lozano then both struck out to strand three anyway, and then Jerry Outram rammed one out at the next opportunity anyway.

The bases were loaded with one out *again* in the fifth. Kilmer popped out, making me sigh, but Bill Balaski clubbed a single up the rightfield line. Phillips cut it off quickly, but two runs scored for a 3-1 lead. Hunter grounded out to strand two more then. Lozano blew the lead right away, again; Ross Sibley and Ryan Phillips reached base, and Timóteo Clemente doubled them in with a clonker off the fence in leftfield. Outram also nearly hit a homer, but was actually caught, and Schneller popped out to strand Clemente at third base in the 3-3 game.

Top 7th, Cosmo hit a leadoff double, which knocked out Medvec. Jordan Calderon walked Maldonado, who was forced out on a Fernandez grounder to Schneller. Runners on the corners, Kilmer slapped a single through the left side to take a 4-3 lead, and then Balaski killed it with a grounder to short that went 6-4-3 and kept it 4-3. The Raccoons actually held up for at least one inning this time, with Lozano getting out Sibley to begin the seventh before being replaced by Campbell for two more outs. Top 8th, Jose Brito batted for Anderson against the left-handed Calderon and hit a solo jack, 5-3. Then came the bottom 8th, where Zabala came on and walked Clemente, walked Outram, and walked Schneller without retiring anybody. Three on, no outs went to Lindstrom, who struck out Lopez, struck out Cabral, and then got DeVita to fly out to center in a full count. (blinks bewilderedly) The Coons did not tack on in the ninth, and when Brent Clark came out for the bottom 9th, he started with a 4-pitch walk to Sibley, who reached third base on a balk and a grounder. Phillips flew out poorly for the second out, but Clark also walked Clemente, who was the tying run and replaced with pinch-runner Alex Perez. Outram was the winning run and a lefty batter, so Clark remained in there – if he wanted to be *anything* in the majors as a lefty reliever, even if not a closer, he had to get rid of Outram, or at least not give up two runs (or three)…! Clark threw a wild pitch to score a run, then walked Outram on five pitches. Then Clark was yanked and also no longer the makeshift closer. Alex Ramirez came in for Schneller, walked ******* Schneller, too, and the bags were full for Johnny Lopez, who poked the first pitch into a groundout to Brito at second base. 5-4 Coons. Trevino 2-4, BB, 2B; Maldonado 1-2, BB; Kilmer 2-4, BB, RBI; Brito (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Balaski – 1B Salazar – SS Kilgallen – P Sabre
VAN: LF Foss – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – RF R. Phillips – 3B Sprague – C D. James – SS Cabral – P Weitz

The only offensive rage of the early innings was Dan Schneller’s leadoff triple in the second inning and how Balaski threw him out at home plate on Phillips’ fly to right. Again, nobody scored through three, with both teams littering two hits for no actual gains. Morales hit a single in the fourth, but was doubled up by Balaski, and the first run didn’t appear on the board until the fifth, and then for the wrong team; Sprague and Derek James hit back-to-back 1-out singles off Sabre in the bottom 5th, Sprague stole third base, then scored on Cabral’s sac fly to left. Weitz struck out to strand James.

Portland answered, though; after five innings of futility, Cosmo opened the sixth with a double, Maldo walked, and Manny raked a 3-run homer to right, all with nobody out. Sabre then allowed a leadoff single to Aaron Foss in the bottom of the inning, but the damn Elks grounded into a force at second base twice and ultimately never got past first base, then made three outs in quick fashion in the seventh, which was as deep as Sabre would go, spending 106 pitches for five hits and the one run. Yet, even with the 3-1 lead handed over to the pen, I was filled with calmness, which was probably what half a bottle of Capt’n Coma with a splash of drain pipe cleaner did for most people. Chuck Jones gave up a run on Sibley and Foss doubles in the eighth, but at least retired Outram with two outs and the tying run in scoring position… Top 9th against Zimmerman, the Raccoons cobbled together singles by Salazar, Anderson, and Berto for a 2-out run, and Oliver Anderson was sent from second base when Cosmo dropped a soft line into left-center for a single. Foss’ throw was late, the Coons got another run, and the trailing runners reached scoring position, too. Maldonado then lined out to Foss, ending the inning and giving the ball to Campbell for the bottom 9th, because if we inevitably have to **** up, why not get the best ****-upper that we have? Schneller walked, but Phillips hit a grounder to Brito at second for a 4-6-3 double play. Sprague singled to center. James singled to right. Cabral was the tying run with two outs, fell to two strikes, then hit a jack to right.

(heavy breathing)

(pours more drain cleanse into his Capt’n Coma)

DeVita hit another single in the #9 hole before a groundout sent the game to extras. It didn’t stay in extras for long. The Raccoons stranded Tony Morales on third base in the top of the 10th, while Garavito was left to his own deviced in the bottom 10th, which opened with a Lopez double to right. Outram legged out an infield single, and Schneller ended the charade with a sac fly to left. 6-5 Canadiens. Ramos 2-5, RBI; Trevino 2-4, BB, RBI; Salazar 2-5; Kilgallen 1-2, BB; Anderson (PH) 1-1; Sabre 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 1 K;

In other news

August 15 – DEN OF/1B Rich de Luna (.318, 4 HR, 52 RBI) has extended his hitting streak to 25 games with a single in a 3-1 loss to the Condors. Game #25 comes 15 days after #24 for de Luna, who had to sit out two weeks with a mild forearm strain.
August 17 – The hitting streak of DEN OF/1B Rich de Luna (.314, 4 HR, 52 RBI) ends after 26 games with an 0-for-4 in a 2-0 loss to the Wolves.
August 18 – WAS C Chris Came (.257, 3 HR, 27 RBI) hits a walkoff grand slam to beat the Blue Sox’ Alex Banderas (6-3, 2.30 ERA, 23 SV) in a 14-11 shootout. Came drives in six runs total on four hits, while Washington’s Scott Martin (.276, 3 HR, 20 RBI) drives in two runs on five singles.
August 19 – TIJ CL Steve Bailey (2-6, 3.33 ERA, 31 SV) will miss the rest of the season with shoulder inflammation.
August 19 – The Condors have only three hits in their 1-0 win over the Knights, but one of them is the winning home run by INF Bob Nelson (.236, 8 HR, 31 RBI).

FL Player of the Week: NAS LF/RF/1B Sean Ashley (.293, 25 HR, 71 RBI), hitting .500 (12-24) with 5 HR, 6 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL 1B Jose Garcia (.289, 5 HR, 56 RBI), batting .517 (15-29) with 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I wonder whether Raffaello Sabre also regularly looks up to the baseball gods, extends his paws, and screams “WHY ME???”

If so, it’s fine, because if he’s worth any compensation pick (and he damn well should be), he can be on a good team next year. One that actually deserves him.

While Saturday was awful, we at least have won TWO games from the damn Elks now, and won’t set a new record for futility against a CL North opponent. As I said, that was also the end of Brent Clark as a closer; we’d go with closing by committee the rest of the year and try to figure something out after the season. That doesn’t mean that Clark won’t get into the ninth inning with a lead – but we’ll try a mixed approach now.

We have Monday off and will be in New York after that. Bernie Chavez did another rehab start in AAA on Thursday and will be lineup to start the opener against the Crusaders, which will indeed happen. Angelo Montano will be sent to the Alley Cats to make room, but we’ll bring him back up on September 1.

Fun Fact: After seven years of having the upper paw in the all-time head-to-head comparison, the Raccoons are now a losing team again facing the damn Elks.

574 wins, 575 losses.

Thanks, Jermaine. ******* *******. ********. Go lick a buzzsaw.