Raccoons (21-24) @ Condors (17-27) – May 22-24, 2040
The Condors were in fifth place and looking at a roster with big holes just like the Critters… They were eighth in runs scored, but second from the bottom in runs allowed. They were not ranking in the top five in any major category, sitting sixth in home runs and that was about it for top half placements. Injuries made it all worse for them with pitchers Omar Uribe, Greg Kesinger, and Daniel Risk all on the DL along with outfielders Roy Pincus and Justin Simmons. Worse yet, those were all on the 60-day DL. So, neither team would get any better any soon. The Coons had won six of nine in the previous season; it was up in the air whether they’d even play six against Tijuana before I delivered all of them to the nearest orphanage.
Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (1-4, 4.50 ERA) vs. Zach Warner (1-3, 3.96 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (2-4, 3.71 ERA) vs. Mike Webb (0-0)
Ryan Bedrosian (4-0, 2.02 ERA) vs. Brad Quintero (1-3, 4.92 ERA)
All right-handers here; Webb was a 28-year-old triple-A filler who had not pitched in the Bigs since ’38 and hadn’t started there since ’37.
Game 1
POR: 3B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – CF Nettles – LF Fernandez – 1B Anderson – RF Hooge – C Morales – SS Hunter – P Chavez
TIJ: CF Phinazee – 3B Obando – RF Willie Ojeda – SS Strohm – C Sawyer – 1B Sheaffer – LF St. Pierre – 2B Arnett – P Z. Warner
The Raccoons had Cosmo and Nettles on base without doing anything in the first inning, then got Hoogey and the Tony Troup aboard in the second inning with nobody out. Bernie Chavez singled home a run before Maldonado and Trevino perversely struck out. A Chris Strohm error on Nettles’ grounder gifted them another run before Fernandez grounded out. Such a team of winners! Bernie went on to scatter five hits in three innings without taking damage, which was marvelous enough, but then he hit a leadoff single through the right side in the top 4th. Maldo doubled, putting the pair in scoring position with no outs and I braced for the next stinker performance even before Cosmo walked in a full count, making it three on, no outs, our perpetual bane. Not this time though – both Stephon Nettles and Oliver Anderson drove in pairs with base hits, extending the lead to six-zip. Nettles tacked on a run with a 2-out single in the fifth – off longtime Critter David Fernandez! – to drive in Maldonado. Bernie remained a cruiser with the 7-0 lead, but also didn’t make it to the finish. Mike Sawyer would hit a full-count single off him with two outs in the bottom 8th, on Bernie’s 113th pitch, and after he had missed grossly with a couple. He was clearly done for the day, and the Raccoons went to Garavito, who promptly conceded a double to Travis Sheaffer, and Bernie’s run… Nevertheless, that was the only damage on the Coons’ side of the box score on Tuesday, with Travis Sims delivering a scoreless ninth. Tony Hunter had hit a sac fly in he top of the last inning to restore a 7-run gap. 8-1 Coons. Maldonado 2-5, 2B; Trevino 2-4, BB; Nettles 3-5, 3 RBI; Hooge 2-5, 2B; Morales 2-4, BB; Chavez 7.2 IP, 8 H; 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 8 K, W (2-4) and 2-4, RBI;
That was a lot of runs for one game, boys. I hope you didn’t throw it out all in one go, bathwater and the kid!
Game 2
POR: 1B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – CF Nettles – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – P Sabre
TIJ: CF Phinazee – 3B Obando – RF Willie Ojeda – SS Strohm – C Sawyer – LF Riquenes – 1B J. Flores – 2B Arnett – P M. Webb
So who was seriously surprised when the Critters encountered a guy that hadn’t started an ABL game in three years and did pretty much zero the first time through? Well, they scored a run in the third inning, on a Nettles groundout, but that required Sabre to get the hitting underway with a leadoff single. Maldo chipped in a double.
Jeff Kilmer then hit a solo jack in the fourth inning, 2-0, and, with the score still 2-0 with Sabre being low-key efficient and the defense quite alert, and triple in the sixth, then with one out. He didn’t score the latter time, with Greenway, 2-for-2 in the game, intentionally walked (!) before Berto struck out and Hunter rolled over with a groundout. Alberto Ramos *did* hit a single in the eighth inning to liven up a skid that had run to 1-for-34, and reached along with Greenway (single) and Hunter (walk), all with one out. With Sabre over 90 pitches and this game still being a sneeze and a bam away from getting tied, the Raccoons sent Ed Hooge to pinch-hit. Hoogey singled up the middle for one run, and Maldo singled to right for another one, but then Cosmo struck out in a full count against David Fernandez and Nettles grounded out, leaving three stranded, but that was enough to put the game away. The Condors remained completely clueless and were shut out on six hits this time, with Brent Clark (an inning and a third) and Francisco Pena (the sorry remainder) keeping them to a low profile. 4-0 Critters. Kilmer 3-5, HR, 3B, 2B, RBI; Greenway 3-3, 2 BB; Sabre 7.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K, W (3-4) and 2-3;
Jeff Kilmer hit a double in the ninth, which officially got him to three parts of the cycle, missing the single for the full thing.
Game 3
POR: 1B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – CF Nettles – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – P Bedrosian
TIJ: CF Phinazee – 3B Obando – RF Willie Ojeda – SS Strohm – 1B Vitalini – C Sawyer – LF St. Pierre – 2B Arnett – P B. Quintero
On Thursday, the Condors had Mal Phinazee in scoring position in the first, and Mike Sawyer in the second, and both times choked and allowed Bedrosian to wiggle out before Maldonado and Nettles reached the corners in the top of the third. Manny Fernandez hit a lame fly to Jon St. Pierre with two outs, but St. Pierre dropped it, bringing in the game’s first run on the error. Kilmer then hit that single he had missed the day before up the middle to score both runners from second and third. Greenway grounded out, leaving a 3-0 lead to Bedrosian, who immediately saw Phinazee and ancient Guillermo Obando reach base with singles. The latter was forced out at second base on a Willie Ojeda grounder. Strohm struck out, Giacomino Vitalini flew out to Nettles, and the Condors remained on their lone stupid run from the series opener through three.
After a pair of snoozey innings the Condors then loaded the bases with the tying run in the sixth … without getting a base hit. Bedrosian walked Strohm, nicked Vitalini, and walked St. Pierre with two outs. That brought up crummy .226 hitter James Arnett, a 31-year-old rookie (!), who ran a full count on a Ryan Bedrosian that had obviously lost track of it all, but then singed a liner into Berto’s glove to end the inning. Whatever works! That last inning really ran up Bedrosian’s pitch count all the way to a hundred, so he was hit for in the seventh, and Chuck Jones gave up a double to Phinazee in the bottom 7th. Phinazee stole third base, then scored on a grounder, 3-1.
Top 8th, Quintero still on it after only allowing four hits so far. Cosmo singled to lead off, then stole second, only his sixth base taken in a rotten season. Nettles flew out, but Manny walked, and then Kilmer hit a ball up the leftfield line for an RBI double, 4-1. Greenway then hit a pathetic grounder that scored nothing and nobody, and Tony Morales pinch-hit and struck out. Then came Alex Ramirez, retired ******* nobody, and left with Strohm already across, and the bases teeming with Vitalini, Sawyer, and Vinny Chavira. Brent Clark replaced him against PH Travis Sheaffer, got a K, then gave up a run to Jose Flores on a sac fly, 4-3. With right-hander Cyril Campisi hitting in the #1 hole now, Jermaine Campbell got the baseball, gave up an infield single, then balked in the tying run. (effortlessly breaks glass with booze in his right paw) Obando made a sad third out, and nobody got on base in the ninth inning, except for a Maldonado double, but how would that help the Coons? Those Coons abused Campbell for another two innings after his ****-up, but he refused to soak the loss. Ruining wins was all he was here for, apparently.
The Raccoons displayed zero offensive ambitions in extra innings, seeing Francisco Pena pitch three scoreless through the 13th without being, I don’t know, inspired in any recognizable way. Tony Hunter then (finally) walked against Ray Andrews in the 14th inning, with one out, and also stole second base. Oliver Anderson had been batting #9 for a while without producing anything, but Jon Caskey was the only bat left on the bench and would not help against the right-handed Andrews. Anderson’s sorry grounder moved Hunter to third base at least, from where Maldonado scored him with an infield single behind second base…! Maldo stole second, but Cosmo popped out, ending the inning. Rico Sanchez ended the Condors in three batters to complete the sweep. 5-4 Coons. Maldonado 3-7, 2 2B, RBI; Kilmer 3-5, BB, 2B, 3 RBI; Bedrosian 6.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 4 K; Pena 3.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K, W (1-1);
Sweep!!
Raccoons (24-24) @ Thunder (26-20) – May 25-27, 2040
In third place and only half a game back in the South were the Thunder, who sat only sixth in runs scored, but were allowing the second-fewest runs in the league. So here came a challenge… While the Raccoons had already won two of three games from them in 2040, my confidence was shaken even after a sweep over terrible Tijuana trundlers.
Projected matchups:
Kyle Dominy (6-1, 1.71 ERA) vs. Brian Frain (7-2, 2.93 ERA)
Cory Lambert (0-0) vs. Casey Pinter (5-4, 3.84 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (2-4, 4.09 ERA) vs. Aaron Bryant (3-3, 2.39 ERA)
Right, left, left for Oklahoma, and a sure blowout with a 25-year-old debutee who the Raccoons had signed for $275k for “starting depth”, and who had an 8.38 ERA with the Alley Cats while *relieving”. Just another Jared Ottinger, but he was on the 40-man roster anyway… Pena, who had tossed three innings for the W in the previous game, was sent back to St. Pete, because baseball is harsh and loves nobody.
Game 1
POR: 1B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – CF Nettles – LF Fernandez – C Morales – RF Greenway – 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – P Dominy
OCT: CF C. Vega – 2B McWhirter – RF Marz – 1B D. Cruz – C Adames – 3B Martell – LF E. Moore – SS J. Agosto – P Frain
The Thunder would get the early start, scoring on Ethan Moore’s sac fly after Jesus Adames and Al Martell had landed hits in the bottom 2nd, and then again on a solo homer by Carlos Vega in the inning after that. Kyle Dominy’s pitching remained extremely pedestrian, with three hard fly balls that didn’t go out and were caught near the warning track by various outfielders before the fourth inning was over. The Raccoons did nothing through four, but got Hunter on base in the fifth. Dominy bunted him over, and Maldonado’s 2-out single shortened the gap to 2-1, but Cosmo then struck out.
The game dawdled along into the eighth, with Frain gone, but Dominy still on the scoreboard. Brian McAllister would walk Nettles with one out in the inning, then allowed a loud double to Manny Fernandez to put the tying *and* go-ahead runs in scoring position. Oh-oh, excitement! More crushing disappointment to come! Indeed, indeed. Tony Morales ran a full count and struck out, and Troy Greenway grounded out (hard, but eh…) to first base. Nobody scored. Dominy completed eight innings on 103 pitches that were adequate and meh at the same time, and also still not enough. The bottom of the order had to come up with something against lefty Wyatt Hamill in the ninth. Depressingly, Kilgallen hit for Berto because the leadoff man was better not leading off now. Kilgallen struck out though, so what the **** do I know? Hunter flew out to John Marz. Kilmer popped out to Danny Cruz. 2-1 Thunder. Maldonado 2-4, RBI; Greenway 2-4; Dominy 8.0 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, L (6-2) and 1-2;
Game 2
POR: CF Maldonado – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – SS Hunter – 3B Caskey – 1B Kilgallen – P Lambert
OCT: LF E. Moore – 2B McWhirter – RF Marz – 1B D. Cruz – C Adames – 3B Martell – CF Heskett – SS J. Agosto – P Pinter
There were few surprises here in the early innings; well, there actually were – there was no surprise in Lambert walking three batters the first time through, but the Thunder completely cocked it up in every regard, getting caught stealing with Bill McWhirter and hitting into a bazillion forces at second base. Also, Manny Fernandez jammed a 2-run homer right in the first inning, so that was good for the outwardly appearance on the scoreboard. Bottom 3rd, Lambert walked Ethan Moore, McWhirter singled, and they were on the corners. Marz flew out to Greenway in shallow right, keeping the runners decent, though, and then Cruz shuffled a grounder into a 4-6-3. It finally came all apart in the fourth with Adames’ leadoff double to right, a walk to Martell, and then Brian Heskett’s 3-piece that flipped the score. After another three screaming base hits to lead off the bottom 5th, Lambert was yanked and sent right back to the swamps. He ended up with five earned runs in four innings-plus, with Garavito allowing one run to score on a sac fly.
The Raccoons didn’t get another paw up until the eighth inning, when down 5-2 they opened the inning with a pair of singles by Cosmo and Manny. Kilmer shot a grounder at Martell that bounced weirdly and ended up missing the third baseman’s glove for a lucky RBI double, with the tying runs in scoring position with no outs. Nettles hit for Greenway (there wasn’t a righty bat on the bench) and grounded out, scoring Manny, but killing momentum, except for Tony Hunter to single up the middle. There was no running Kilmer against Heskett’s arm, though, so the Raccoons held up on the corners for, uh, Jon Caskey? He popped out miserably, and Kilgallen rolled over to short – and Agosto fumbled it! 2-out error, the tying run scored, and it was an all-new ballgame in Oklahoma! …and then Ed Hooge struck out. Chuck Jones held the game together in the bottom 8th, after which Berto batted for him in the #1 hole – there had been a dumb double switch when the game had been considered lost a few innings earlier…… Berto walked on four pitches against Gary Martin, though, and Cosmo hit a bloop single to left. Martin walked Manny, loading the bags … with no outs. Doom! Kilmer promptly struck out. I KNEW IT!! …but then Nettles shoved a ball past McWhirter for a single and two runs scored…! The inning quickly fizzled out after that, and McWhirter hit a leadoff double against Rico Sanchez in the bottom 9th. Danny Cruz would hit a single to score that run, but that would be as close as the Thunder got before they ran out of outs. 7-6 Furballs! Trevino 4-5; Fernandez 2-4, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Kilmer 2-5, 2B, RBI; Nettles (PH) 1-2, 3 RBI; Garavito 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;
Yes, that was a REALLY surprising comeback. Apparently being down by three is not a death sentence.
Cory Lambert and his 11.25 ERA were duly returned to AAA. Monday would be off, so we would not need a starter until a week from now. Out of ideas otherwise, the Raccoons added 2036 seventh-rounder, right-hander Ryan van Campenhout. Groundballer, throws 92, good curve. Lack of steady mechanics, so it could be a walkfest…
Game 3
POR: RF Maldonado – SS Hunter – CF Nettles – C Kilmer – LF Hooge – 2B Caskey – 3B Ramos – 1B Kilgallen – P Chavez
OCT: LF E. Moore – 2B McWhirter – 1B D. Cruz – C Adames – 3B Martell – CF Ringel – RF Heskett – SS Nieblas – P A. Bryant
Offense was slow early on in the rubber game until McWhirter hit a leadoff double in the bottom 4th and Jesus Adames poked a Bernie offering over the fence for a 2-0 Thunder lead. The Raccoons had seen Maldonado on twice, with Tony Hunter hitting into a double play in the first and a boilerplate terrible grounder in the third, the latter one ending the frame. Hunter was better with nobody on base, drawing a leadoff walk in the sixth, then reaching third base on Nettles’ single to rightfield. The tying runs were thus on for Jeff Kilmer, who flew to Adrian Ringel in deep center for a sac fly, 2-1. Nettles was left out there as roadkill, though… Berto hit a leadoff single in the seventh even, but then was doubled up by Kilgallen. The Critters went down in order in the eighth, then were up against Hamill in the ninth, bringing the 4-5-6 to the plate. Kilmer struck out, but Cosmo hit for Hooge and singled, then was quickly forced out by Caskey on a meh grounder. Berto grounded out to end the game. 2-1 Thunder. Maldonado 2-4, 2B; Trevino (PH) 1-1; Ramos 2-4;
In other news
May 21 – The Wolves win a rain-shortened game from the Miners, 6-2 after eight innings.
May 23 – Miners CF/LF Kevin Burch (.242, 1 HR, 8 RBI) will miss a month with a broken thumb.
May 25 – Career Wolf LF/RF Kyle Weinstein (.234, 3 HR, 15 RBI) is traded to the Capitals for INF Alex Castillo (.204, 1 HR, 7 RBI) and unranked closer prospect Brian Johnson.
May 25 – CIN LF/CF Jayden Lockwood (.320, 3 HR, 19 RBI) will miss a month with an oblique strain.
May 26 – Sacramento SP Jeremy Truett (6-2, 4.08 ERA) 3-hits the Capitals with five strikeouts in a 5-0 shutout.
May 26 – The Titans get 1B Alex Zacarias (.205, 5 HR, 20 RBI) from the Stars, parting with RF/LF Sean Calais (.265, 1 HR, 6 RBI) in the trade.
May 27 – BOS CF Mark Vermillion (.342, 3 HR, 20 RBI) has a homer and four singles and drives in two runs in the Titans’ 10-1 rush of the Knights.
May 27 – In sight of his 40th birthday in June, CHA RF/CF Tony Coca (.291, 5 HR, 17 RBI) hits two homers and drives in five runs on four hits total in an 11-2 win over the Indians.
May 27 – The Loggers win late, but *win*, scoring five in the 12th inning to beat the Condors, 10-5.
May 27 – Gold Sox SP Steve Carr (4-2, 4.29 ERA) is out for the season with radial nerve compression.
FL Player of the Week: RIC C Fernando Alba (.353, 10 HR, 29 RBI), batting .471 (8-17) with 3 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS CF Mark Vermillion (.342, 3 HR, 20 RBI), hitting .457 (14-30) with 1 HR, 9 RBI
Complaints and stuff
Sabre’s win on Wednesday was the 5,300th for the team. It was Sabre’s second hundo win after previously having taken #4,800 in July of 2034. That was the middle game of a sweep over the Condors – the FIRST sweep the Coons handed to another team this season. No wonder they’re stuck in the middle of nowhere…
And no, Jermaine Campbell still does not entice any trade offers. I wonder why. We’d even eat half of what’s left of his salary. Just get the bum outta here!
The Agitator openly demands for Nelson Moreno to come up now to “save the season”. That might be a bit much on the shoulders of a 21-year-old right-hander weighing all of 175 pounds (rounded up, I’d say, after the eyeball test). Good ol’ Nels is 5-3 with a 3.00 ERA in AAA. He walks 4.2 per nine and whiffs 7.8/9. Could be worse – but will it be enough for the Bigs? He really only has 2 1/2 pitches right now, so he would probably get ravaged in the majors.
Berto had *a few* hits this week, but is still batting 6-for-56. When I remarked that he was leading the batting title race in the CL, I didn’t think I could jinx him *this* hard. Troy Greenway remains a complete mystery, too, with a .204 BABIP. He is not striking out more than in previous years – in fact he’s striking out LESS than his career average. But he also doesn’t even get the damn baseball out of the ballpark anymore…! It’s gonna be a long three-and-a-half years at $3.32M p/a if he continues like this. He might reasonably go from 42 homers in one season to FOUR two years later, without breaking his skull in between.
Fun Fact: Ryan van Campenhout is fluent in English, Spanish, and of course Dutch.
I’m told Campenhout means someone who squats in the woods, and us folk up here in Portland are of course… – What is it, Maud? – It’s not somehow who squats in the woods? – “Campen-woud”? Doesn’t sound right to me, Maud! – Steve from Accounting says he hits the wood, so it means cutting the wood. – No, Maud, I don’t know where Steve from Accounting learned his Dutch. – Maud, can’t you come into this room so I don’t have to holler back and forth between you two??
Also, if he cuts wood, he’s getting traded to the ******* Loggers!*
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