[Westheim]

Raccoons (38-36) vs. Falcons (33-42) – June 27-29, 2039

The parade of crummy opposition continued, with no sign of the Raccoons stopping their own crumminess either. Charlotte was eighth in runs scored and ninth in runs allowed. Like the Raccoons, they basically had no bullpen to lean on. Maybe they were not quite as surprised by that fact than the Raccoons… They had a 2-1 lead in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Drew Johnson (5-4, 3.82 ERA) vs. Keith Black (4-7, 3.14 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (4-7, 3.31 ERA) vs. Jose de Lucio (5-2, 3.96 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (7-2, 3.82 ERA) vs. Rafael Pedraza (7-6, 3.87 ERA)

All right-handers here, as we’d dance around lefty sod Jose Lerma (1-9, 4.00 ERA).

Game 1
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – CF Aarhus – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – 3B Farfan – LF Esperanza – RF Salto – 1B Blades – P Black
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF Hooge – RF Greenway – 1B Anderson – C Kilmer – LF Ledford – SS Williams – P Johnson

Johnson walked the first two batters, with Oscar Aguirre and Greg Aarhus both coming around to score thanks to singles hit by Mitch Cook and Jose Farfan. The Raccoons would have Berto on base to start the bottom 1st, with Cosmo forcing him out, but stealing second base. Ed Hooge dropped a single, and Greenway dropped the inning by hitting into a 4-6-3. Next the Raccoons dropped Elijah Williams, tweaking an oblique on a defensive play. Jon Caskey took over for him, and Dr. Padilla sent word that the DL beckoned for Williams. Oliver Anderson reached on a leadoff walk in the bottom 2nd, then was doubled up by Kilmer, and things were just that – bleak.

The Falcons tacked on a run in the fourth on a Brett Blades homer, then got a free runner in Oscar Aguirre in the fifth when Hooge dropped his fly in shallow center. Johnson walked Tony Aparicio, Mitch Cook slapped an RBI single up the middle, and things were just that – spiralling out of control. And bleak. Ruben Esperanza’s 2-out, 3-run homer to right was a no-doubter both in being outta here by itself, and for ending the game as a contest, ramping the Falcons’ lead to 7-0. The entire 4-spot in the fifth was unearned, but deserved it sure was. Francisco Pena was pummeled for two more runs in the sixth, surrendering sharp hits to Black for a single and Aguirre and Aparicio for extra bases each time. The following inning Pena walked a pair before giving up 2-out RBI singles to both Black (…) and Aguirre. There was a run off David Fernandez in the ninth, like anyone cared anymore. 12-1 Falcons. Caskey 2-3; Maldonado (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Trevino stole two bags and doubled in a run that was entirely for the *** in the eighth. Everybody else was pretty much dead from the waist up.

Somehow, Jose Farfan (.305, 6 HR, 41 RBI) did not get a hit in the riot that was Monday’s 11-run blowout. His hitting streak ended with an 0-for-5 at 21 games.

Roster moves: Elijah Williams went on the DL with an oblique strain, but might only need two weeks, maybe. Or it might be terminal. I’m taking no assurances anymore. He exchanged places with Joel Hernandez, who came off the DL for Tuesday. Also, Pena (7.71 ERA) was banished back to AAA. The Raccoons took the next muppet in line, which happened to be Jared Ottinger and his 5.30 ERA in St. Pete.

Game 2
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – CF Aarhus – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – 3B Farfan – LF Salto – RF C. Robinson – 1B Blades – P de Lucio
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Caskey – 2B Trevino – RF Greenway – 1B Anderson – CF M. Fernandez – LF Ledford – C Morales – P Sparkes

Chris Robinson’s ball off the wall for a 2-out double gave the Falcons a 1-0 lead in the second, plating Mitch Cook from third base. The Raccoons tied the game back up in their half of the frame, with Brad Ledford zipping a 2-out double and coming around on a Tony Morales bloop near the leftfield line, but far enough away from Graciano Salto. It was a COONS LEAD in the bottom 3rd with Berto on, stealing second, and coming around on Caskey’s single. Cosmo also singled, but Greenway’s fly to center was caught by Aarhus near the warning track. Oliver Anderson hit an RBI single instead. Up 3-1, Manny Fernandez had runners on the corners while being quagmire in a 2-for-23 streak, and of course found his way into a 1-6-3 double play, ending the frame. The following inning the Raccoons were on the corners again with Ledford and Berto, when the latter took off for second and was thrown out with Caskey at the plate, ending this chance for good, and the fifth saw the Falcons tie the game with an Aguirre leadoff walk, an Aarhus single, and thanks to an errant Greenway throw, two groundouts were enough to tie the game after that… Greenway grounded out on a 3-0 pitch in the bottom 5th to make the entire experience even more wholesome.

Sparkes held the fort for seven innings, whiffing eight, then was hit for with Ed Hooge to lead off the bottom 7th. Hoogey grounded out before de Lucio walked Berto and allowed a single to Caskey. Cosmo came through with a gap double in right-center, but Aarhus cut the ball off ahead of the warning track, stopping Caskey at third base, but Berto scored for a 4-3 lead. The Falcons were still scared of Troy Greenway for some reason and walked him onto the open base, bringing up Anderson with three on and one down. He popped out foul in a full count, and Fernandez flew out to center, stranding three. Top 8th, Prieto retired three in a row for something new, and Campbell struck out three in the ninth, even though Paul Vespucci singled with two outs. 4-3 Coons. Ramos 2-3, 2 BB; Caskey 2-5, RBI; Trevino 3-4, 2 2B, RBI; Ledford 2-4, 2 2B; Morales 2-4, RBI; Sparkes 7.0 IP, 6 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 8 K, W (5-7);

Game 3
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – RF J. Aguilar – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – 3B Farfan – LF Salto – CF Aarhus – 1B Blades – P Pedraza
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Caskey – 2B Trevino – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – CF M. Fernandez – 1B Monge – C Morales – P Bedrosian

Manny Fernandez drove in the rubber game’s first run by holding still while Pedraza struggled with Berto (walk), Caskey (drill), and Ledford (shy single) on base and two outs. The bases-loaded walk kept the line moving to Monge, who ran a full count before striking out. Fernandez walked again in the third inning as Pedraza remained not sharp. The bases were filled at that point, the Raccoons having piled up seven runners on two base hits at that point. Now they just needed that big knock! Monge popped out, stranding another set of three.

Then there was the issue of Bedrosian, who was not much better than Pedraza and relied on the other team’s stupidity go scratch his way through the innings. Through four, the Falcons had one hit … and four walks. Bedrosian also walked Aguirre with one out in the fifth, then Jerry Aguilar doubled. Two in scoring position had to hold when Aparicio flew out to Ledford in shallow left, and Mitch Cook grounded out to Caskey, preserving the 1-0 lead. Bedrosian was yanked the following inning after a Farfan single and a sixth walk to Graciano Salto. Miller got to two outs before leaving a hittable 1-2 pitch to Pedraza, the ******* opposing pitcher, which was promptly slapped into centerfield for a 2-out RBI single. Aguirre struck out, leaving behind two runners and a tied game.

The Raccoons dumpled along with Miller, Garavito, and even Jared ******* Ottinger without giving up another run through eight, with Ledford reaching base against Pedraza with one out in the bottom 8th, then getting picked off. I hissed. Manny Fernandez then slapped a homer to right-center. I didn’t know how to react to that anymore. Campbell closed out the game. 2-1 Coons. Trevino 2-4; M. Fernandez 1-2, 2 BB, HR, 2 RBI;

Getting outscored 16-7, but winning two of three. I guess that’s how ******* winners do it.

Not gonna get better soon, either.

Raccoons (40-37) vs. Canadiens (48-29) – June 30-July 3, 2039

Look. I know. And this was after the damn Elks on Tuesday had lost OF Jerry Outram (.351, 16 HR, 37 RBI), possibly for the season, with a torn rotator cuff. The damn Elks were first in runs scored, plating almost five per game, and they were third in runs allowed. Their run differential was +77, compared to a decrepit +6 for Portland. We were third in runs scored, seventh in runs allowed, completely clueless overall, and down 5-2 in the season series. We also had no hopes of winning this set of four games.

Projected matchups:
Raffaello Sabre (8-2, 2.86 ERA) vs. Eric Weitz (10-4, 3.15 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (4-7, 4.13 ERA) vs. David Arias (8-3, 3.87 ERA)
Drew Johnson (5-5, 3.93 ERA) vs. Corey Booth (9-5, 3.21 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (5-7, 3.34 ERA) vs. Michael Donovan (0-3, 5.18 ERA)

I’ll see a southpaw on Sunday. (opens fresh bottle of One-Eyed Jack’s) …if I live that long.

Game 1
VAN: CF Foss – 1B Sibley – RF R. Phillips – 2B Sprague – SS Cabral – 3B Ashley – C Clemente – LF LeJeune – P Weitz
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Caskey – 2B Trevino – RF Greenway – 1B Anderson – LF M. Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – P Sabre

Ross Sibley double, Ryan Phillips single, then a sac fly. Ramon Cabral singled, and then Ray Ashley’s grounder was thrown by Berto through the legs of Oliver Anderson for a 2-base error that scored a run. Timóteo Clemente’s following single plated two more. Just like that, the first game was dealt with from a competitive standpoint. 4-0 Elks, three runs unearned, right? Wrong. Weitz blew the lead in the second, with Anderson and Maldonado reaching the corners before Tony Morales hit a homer to right. Berto singled, Caskey was nicked, and Cosmo slapped a game-tying double before Greenway flew out.

It was 4-4 for a while after that. Cosmo was back on base in the fifth, then advanced on a wild pitch. The Elks walked Greenway with intent after that, bringing up Anderson, who was robbed in the gap by dastardly Jesse LeJeune, and Fernandez was caught on the warning track by Ryan Phillips to strand the runners. That was the only twitch the Raccoons made after the second inning, while the damn Elks didn’t get another base hit off Sabre after the first at all. He issued one walk – and that was it. That damn first-inning landslide again! BERTO!!

Then it was all about Jon Caskey in the bottom of the seventh. The youngster we didn’t know what to do with opened with a triple to left-center. He also tore an abdominal muscle sliding around the tag of Ray Ashley, requiring replacement by Joel Hernandez. The Raccoons barely got Hernandez home with a groundout by Anderson after Cosmo hit a comebacker (…!) and Greenway was walked with intent again despite not having done anything useful in a number of weeks. Sabre, in line for the W now, was replaced with David Fernandez for the eighth, with the 1-2-3 left-handed bats going down like that against the lefty. The Coons sent Jermaine Campbell for a third straight game, because this one counted double, whatever sort of logic that was. He walked Glenn Sprague to open the ninth, which was such a thrill. Cabral lined out to center. Jacob Kolbe pinch-hit for Ashley and whiffed. Clemente lasted seven pitches… then struck out. 5-4 Critters. Caskey 2-3, 3B; Trevino 2-4, 2B, RBI; Morales 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Sabre 7.0 IP, 4 H, 4 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, W (9-2);

Boy, they actually squeezed one out here…!

Nevertheless, Caskey was going to be lost for up to two months and was sent to the DL. Can’t have a .421/.500/.526 hitter on this team!! Matt Kilgallen was promoted from AAA where he was hitting next to nothing after having missed about a month on the minor league DL. The Coons had claimed Kilgallen off waivers by the Knights in March. The 27-year-old was a super utility, which was right up my alley, and batting righty.

Game 2
VAN: 3B Ashley – 1B J. Lopez – C Alba – RF R. Phillips – 2B Sprague – CF LeJeune – SS Sibley – LF M. Reyna – P D. Arias
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – CF Hooge – SS Maldonado – 1B Monge – P Chavez

Kilmer doubled and Monge singled him around for the first marker on the board in the bottom 2nd, but this was Bernie, so one run was no run, and by the top 3rd, one run became no run. Arias and Ashley took the corners with singles, and Johnny Lopez flew to center deep enough for a game-tying sac fly. Berto and Cosmo also took to the corners to begin the bottom 3rd, slapping a pair of singles. Manny hit a sac fly for a new lead, but Greenway struck out, and Cosmo only reached scoring position, third base, on a Kilmer single to center. Hoogey also singled up the middle, 3-1, and down 1-2 Maldonado ripped a 3-piece to right. Slappy, did they just take a 6-1 lead? – So you saw it too. – (pulls legs up his pokey nose and starts rocking back and forth in an acute flash of existential crisis)

While Bernie allowed only two hits through five innings, the Raccoons stranded pairs in the third and fourth innings, which annoyed me, because since when were five runs enough against the damn Elks?? Two more were on in the fifth, Monge and Ramos with two outs, and Cosmo slapped a 2-2 single off Domingo Murillo to extend the lead to 7-1. Fernandez then flew out to Miguel Reyna. With that lead, Bernie pitched until he could no more, reaching 111 pitches after a lengthy battle with Ray Ashley in the eighth that ended in a pop for the second out, with Clemente on first base. The Raccoons sent for Jose de Leon in a bold move, but he rung up switch-hitting Johnny Lopez for a nice start, ending the eighth and closing Bernie’s line. In the ninth he struck out Fernando Alba, gave up a double to Phillips, then whiffed Sprague. Oh well, nothing but lefty bats coming up now, but maybe he could end this against persistent pest LeJeune, who could hit a homer off any Coon. …and who flew out to Ed Hooge to end the game. 7-1 Critters! Trevino 2-5, RBI; Kilmer 2-4, 2B; Monge 3-4, RBI; Chavez 7.2 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (5-7) and 1-3;

Last time out against the damn Elks, we won the first two, too. Then lost the last two.

Game 3
VAN: CF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – C Alba – RF R. Phillips – 2B Sprague – SS Cabral – 3B Schneider – LF Sibley – P Booth
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – SS Maldonado – 1B Anderson – C Morales – P Johnson

The Raccoons put Berto and Cosmo on the corners again in the first inning, but couldn’t get more than a Greenway groundout to score a single run. Drew Johnson faced the minimum the first time through, including a Lopez single and a double play hit into by Alba in the top 1st. He also struck out nobody, which left me waiting for the big 5-run knell once more… The Coons weren’t delivering it, stranding Maldonado on third in the bottom 2nd, and Berto in the same spot in the bottom 3rd…

Ryan Phillips was the first K for Johnson in the fifth, but that still didn’t lead somehow to five Elks runs. They had their sole base hit through five, and the Raccoons had only a pair through five… Johnson handed a single to the opposing pitcher in the sixth inning, but Alex Perez flew out to Manny Fernandez to end the inning. Manny then drew a leadoff walk in the bottom of the inning, stole second, and Greenway was walked with intent *again* for no good reason whatsoever. It was as if the damn Elks were determined to not get beat by him specifically. Hooge grounded slowly to Brian Schneider, who hustled and flubbed the ball for a hard-luck error (beating Hoogey at first would have been tight in any case), so the bags were full with nobody out. C’MON BOYS!! (clangs One-Eyed Jack’s bottle on the table) MAKE ‘EM GET IT!! Maldonado immediately flew out easily to Perez in center, but Manny went for it. Perez’ throw was well off-kilter and bad enough for an error, since the trailing runners also gained a base while Manny scored. Anderson hit an RBI single, but Morales and Johnson made poor outs, keeping it 3-0.

Johnson held on through an Alba single in the seventh, while Berto hit a leadoff double in the bottom of that frame and came around on a grounder and a sac fly. Ledford singled home another run in the eighth, pinch-hitting for Tony Morales. Johnson remained in the game for the ninth, now up by five, having thrown just 81 pitches. Clemente grounded out. Alex Perez popped out. Lopez flew out to left. 5-0 Furballs!! Ramos 2-3, BB, 2B; Maldonado 1-2, 2B, RBI; Ledford (PH) 1-1, RBI; Johnson 9.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, W (6-5);

Slappy, if I’m dreaming, please don’t poke me.

Just let me sleep like this forever.

Game 4
VAN: CF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – C Alba – RF R. Phillips – 2B Sprague – SS Cabral – 3B Ashley – LF M. Reyna – P A. Lewis
POR: 1B Monge – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Ledford – SS Maldonado – CF Kilgallen – 3B Hernandez – P Sparkes

Well, we got a southpaw, but not the advertised one, instead facing swingman Alexander Lewis (5-5, 5.40 ERA, 6 SV), who had been in every role imaginable for the damn Elks already this season. He got a 3-0 lead in the second, when Sparkes was torn apart with two outs. Cabral singled, Ashley hit an RBI double, and Reyna went yard – the last two with two strikes each. Matt Kilgallen hit an RBI single, plating Kilmer, in his first Raccoons at-bat, making up a run in the bottom 2nd. Joel Hernandez also reached base, but Sparkes struck out to strand both, and the damn Elks got the run back in the third inning with a leadoff walk issued to Perez. A Kilmer error in the inning also didn’t help.

A Fernandez homer gave the Raccoons a run in the sixth, but they weren’t getting on base at all otherwise, and Sparkes was chased in the eighth after a leadoff walk to Lopez. Garavito couldn’t keep the run on base, and the Elks took a new 3-run lead, and the bottom 8th was entirely sad. Tim Zimmerman was out for the ninth, offering a chance to send some left-handed pinch-hitters, starting with Ed Hooge for Kilmer, but he struck out. Ledford singled, then was forced on a Maldonado grounder. Greenway hit for Kilgallen – and flew out to very deep right. 5-2 Canadiens. Kilgallen 2-3, RBI;

In other news

June 28 – SAL SP Donovan Mason (7-6, 5.38 ERA) 3-hits the Miners in a 10-0 Wolves rush.
June 30 – Bayhawks 3B/SS Marshall Greer (.215, 6 HR, 36 RBI) would miss a month with an intercostal strain.
July 1 – A home run by DAL LF/RF Dave Trahan (.299, 7 HR, 26 RBI) is the Stars’ only base hit in an 8-1 loss to the Wolves. SAL SP Dylan Channel (7-3, 2.78 ERA) combines with two relievers for the 1-hitter.
July 2 – Flashy Scorpions rookie OF Alfonso Cedillo (.386, 3 HR, 16 RBI) will be out for six weeks with an oblique strain.

FL Player of the Week: SAL C Morgan Kuhlmann (.238, 9 HR, 42 RBI), hitting .462 (12-26) with 2 HR, 5 RBI
CL Player of the Week: BOS CF Mark Vermillion (.352, 8 HR, 50 RBI), hitting .438 (14-32) with 2 HR, 8 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SAL SS/2B/RF Jose Castro (.254, 11 HR, 48 RBI), hitting .348 with 7 HR, 23 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: BOS CF Mark Vermillion (.356, 7 HR, 49 RBI), hitting .385 with 4 HR, 33 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SAL SP Phil Harrington (10-3, 2.26 ERA), hurling to a 4-1 record with 1.71 ERA, 50 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: ATL SP Brad Santry (11-2, 2.72 ERA), pitching for a 5-0 mark with 2.50 ERA, 35 K
FL Rookie of the Month: DEN 1B Mark Cahill (.296, 9 HR, 42 RBI), hitting .333 with 4 HR, 17 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: IND 1B Pat Dodson (.295, 16 HR, 53 RBI), hitting .337 with 4 HR, 13 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Second career shutout for Drew Johnson at age 31 – I won’t say it was his most flashy one, since the other one was a no-hitter of the Titans when he was on the Knights in 2034. It was surely crucial for us to keep the damn Elks from getting back into the weekend set.

And then Sparkes fumbled away the Sunday game. But, eh, can’t have nice things around here one way or another. The level of competence around here is neatly expressed in this true fact: the Raccoons scored as many runs as they conceded this week *and yet* had a 5-game winning streak entirely confined within it.

Of course it would help if Greenway, Maldonado, or any first baseman, or any catcher, would finally wake up and start hitting…

Being six games out at the halfway point means we can’t just sell stuff that’s not nailed down. There’s still the pretense that the Raccoons can pull this off. Well, let’s wait until the All Star Game. Eight of our next eleven games are against the Titans, which can break a season into bits in no time at all.

The annual July Latin teen boy hunt has begun, with the Raccoons already casting a net over their first vict- … haul of the summer. We spent $19k on 16-year-old Venezuelan righty Denis DiCenta, who didn’t get a lot of press, but looks like a steal for a potential control groundballer. Who knows, in eight years we might have a non-porous infield again! Or Berto might be 40, weigh 320 points, and make 25 errors a month while still drawing a check.

Fun Fact: The worst-ever Raccoons pitcher by WAR was Daniel Miller, piling up -3.7 WAR in 12 seasons in the brown shirt.

1991 through 2002 to be precise, and being pretty much a regular the entire time. He also posted a negative WAR eight years in a row without being questioned. He also posted double-digit saves in 1996, 1999, and 2001, which says a thing or two about the Critters back then. The #22 pick in 1990, Miller never pitched for another major league team and piled up a 39-35 record with a 3.61 ERA and 56 saves. He walked 390 and struck out 511 batters in 725.2 innings, and also managed to give up double-digit homers as a reliever.

Phew.

Thank goodness WAR is a useless stat and has no meaning whatsoever!