[Westheim]

Raccoons (36-32) vs. Indians (27-42) – June 20-22, 2039

Here was another team that was just terrible and would look the Raccoons just as bad. The Indians were last in runs scored (3.4 per game), and also last in runs allowed (4.9 per game). Their run differential was -96. And the season series was even at three.

Projected matchups:
Bernie Chavez (3-6, 4.13 ERA) vs. Alex Flores (0-0, 0.60 ERA)
Drew Johnson (4-4, 4.14 ERA) vs. Arnie Terwilliger (5-5, 4.42 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (4-6, 3.54 ERA) vs. Jake Jackson (4-7, 3.68 ERA)

Southpaw in the middle of this 3-game set. Flores was replacing an injured Joe Robinson (3-4, 4.64 ERA). He was a 24-year-old rookie that had started the year in AAA, where he had posted a 5.66 ERA in five starts before making a start and four relief appearances in the majors.

For the Raccoons, Ed Hooge was still day-to-day with back problems, but Jesus Maldonado’s suspension had run its course.

Game 1
IND: CF D. Gonzales – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Dodson – C E. Thompson – LF Trawick – SS D. Serrato – 2B Madrid – P A. Flores
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 1B Anderson – C Kilmer – LF Ledford – SS Maldonado – P Chavez

Dan Hutson hit his 14th homer to put the Indians up 1-0 in the first, which casually reminded us that Troy Greenway had sort of run cold over here. The Raccoons pulled even in the second on a throwing error by Jose Madrid as the Indians melted with a leadoff single for Oliver Anderson, a wild pitch, and a walk issued to Jeff Kilmer. Maldonado was walked intentionally to fill them up for Bernie Chavez, who hit a sac fly to right to take a 2-1 lead for himself. The top of the order was not helpful, ending the inning on a pop and a grounder… and then Pat Dodson tied the game with a solo shot in the third. And you didn’t think that was the last one, huh? Elliott Thompson, fifth inning, two outs and one on, boom, 4-2 Indians.

And that wasn’t the last one either. Dave Serrato found an acorn in the sixth, hitting another solo homer off completely inside-out, barely-good-enough-as-letterweight Bernie Chavez. Flores doubled off him, Mario Ochoa singled, and Prieto struck out Hutson to finally end the dismal inning, now down 5-2 and you can’t say I didn’t see it coming. Dodson instead homered off Prieto to start the seventh, his 15th, and now taking the team led away from Hutson. But the series was still long, who knew who’d hit another three off the Raccoons’ rancid staff? The collapse continued with four runners and one run off Dennis Citriniti in the eighth, and by the way, we were not glossing over Raccoons’ offensive accomplishments here. There were none to report against a bloody rookie in his second start that had gotten ripped and beaten in AAA. Only in the eighth did the Coons reach scoring position again with singles by Berto and Cosmo to open the inning. Manny Fernandez hit into a double play. Greenway singled home Ramos, and that was about it. 7-3 Indians. Ramos 2-3; Greenway 2-4, RBI;

That was the end for Citriniti (5.70 ERA), who ended up on waivers. The Raccoons promoted Jose de Leon for bullpen work; the righty had made three starts in ’38 for Portland, going 1-1 with a 4.24 ERA. He was only 23 and still developing, but also had more walks than strikeouts in AAA in a starting role.

Game 2
IND: CF D. Gonzales – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Dodson – C E. Thompson – LF Trawick – SS D. Serrato – 2B Madrid – P Terwilliger
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 1B Monge – SS Williams – LF Ledford – 2B Caskey – P D. Johnson

Dan Hutson hit another solo homer in the first, and it was now 6-0 in bombs in this series… for the Arrowheads. That aside, offense was light on Tuesday, with three hits in five innings off Drew Johnson, while the Raccoons had only two until a pair of 2-out singles by their 8-9 hitters in the bottom 5th. They went to the corners for Berto, who grounded out sharply to Dodson. While Johnson soldiered on, the Raccoons got a 2-out runner on an error when Greenway reached on Dodson dropping his liner in the bottom 6th. Out of the blue, Danny Monge then hit a home run to right off Terwilliger, flipping the score. It came so unexpected, I didn’t know how to react and instead squeezed Honeypaws tighter. Johnson held on through seven before being hit for with Caskey on base in the bottom 7th, but Cosmo flew out easily. Indy reached the corners in the eighth against Chris Miller, with Jake Trawick and Dave Serrato amounting to a single and a walk, respectively, but then were stranded. Jermaine Campbell closed out the game just fine. 2-1 Raccoons. Monge 2-3, HR, 2 RBI; Caskey 2-3; Johnson 7.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 5 K, W (5-4) and 1-2;

The Capitals claimed Citriniti by Wednesday, which was fine by me. He had come on waivers (from Sioux Falls in ’35), he could go on waivers…

Game 3
IND: CF D. Gonzales – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – 1B Dodson – C E. Thompson – LF Trawick – SS D. Serrato – 2B Madrid – P J. Jackson
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – LF Ledford – 1B Monge – C Morales – SS Williams – P Sparkes

Portland had no hits the first time through, while the Indians had three, including David Gonzales’ right at the start of the game, but he was caught stealing by Morales. When the Critters finally made the base paths in their own right (Monge had been nicked in the bottom 2nd), they made them in numbers, with Cosmo and Greenway singling in the fourth, and Ledford reaching on a Serrato error with one out. Monge popped out to right, but Tony Morales snuck a grounder through the infield for a 2-out, 2-run single and the first markers on the board. Williams then grounded out to Madrid, who then homered off Sparkes to tie the game in the fifth. Thompson had reached on Sparkes’ own error…

Apart from that, two inept teams poked away at the other outfit that had been washed ashore for seven and a half innings, neither amounting to more than four hits or their two runs, all of which were unearned, until Bryce Sparkes hit a leadoff double to center in the bottom 8th. Well, but now, boys …! Now…! Now three ****** grounders produced three ****** outs and a stranded pitcher on third base. Mario Ochoa hit a leadoff double in the ninth, and of course scored when Elliott Thompson clipped Sparkes for a 2-out single. The Raccoons were up against Alex Banderas in the ninth. The righty rung up Greenway, got Ledford to fly out, and while Anderson singled, Morales flew out to left. 3-2 Indians. Anderson (PH) 1-1; Sparkes 9.0 IP, 8 H, 3 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, L (4-7) and 1-3, 2B;

They’re so utterly useless it is hard to find any … uh… (looks at Cristiano for assistance) – “words”! Exactly, Cristiano. Thank you.

Raccoons (37-34) @ Thunder (38-35) – June 24-26, 2039

The Thunder were middling in scoring and allowing scores, so this series was definitely beyond hope, just like the Raccoons were beyond redemption. By winning three in this weekend set, the Thunder would go to 4-2 in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Ryan Bedrosian (7-2, 4.02 ERA) vs. Brian Frain (7-3, 2.03 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (8-1, 2.92 ERA) vs. Aaron Bryant (5-6, 4.79 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-7, 4.39 ERA) vs. Chris Inderrieden (9-4, 2.30 ERA)

Again, a three-game set with the left-hander wedged between two righties.

They also had a number of injuries, including a good chunk of their lineup with Jesus Adames, Nate Shamhart, and Jose Agosto all on the DL, among others.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 1B Anderson – C Morales – SS Maldonado – P Bedrosian
OCT: LF E. Moore – 3B Martell – 1B D. Cruz – C Urfer – CF Ringel – 2B Kuhn – RF Heskett – SS Kalinowski – P Frain

Berto singled, stole a base, and came around on an error and a groundout for a 1-0 lead in the first, but it wasn’t like adversity wouldn’t find Bedrosian sooner or later. This time it was later, rather late, in the fourth, with Danny Cruz singling and scoring on Rick Urfer’s double to right, tying the game at one. The Thunder loaded them up the following inning with Jimmy Kuhn hitting a single and walks issued to Brian Heskett and Ethan Moore, but with two outs Al Martell was rung up to end the inning.

When Portland took a 2-1 lead in the sixth, Cosmo getting nicked, a stolen base, an error, and a few walks to load the bases were all involved. That particular farcical procession brought up Tony Morales with three aboard and one out and he hit a pathetic fly to center that didn’t particularly move Adrian Ringel and was barely deep enough to score Manny Fernandez from third. Maldonado popped out altogether. Bedrosian pitched seven innings of 4-hit ball, holding on to the 3-1 lead at least, and when the eighth came around Francisco Pena, who had not pitched in the Indians series, had but one job, NOT putting on Manny Vasquez in the #9 hole. Four balls put the leadoff man aboard, and David Fernandez got two poor full-count whiffs from Ethan Moore and Al Martell before Danny Cruz grounded out. Cosmo would in turn strand Monge and Williams on base with an easy fly to left in the ninth, handing the 3-1 lead to Jermaine Campbell. After Rick Urfer lined out, Ringel and Raul Sanchez slapped singles off the right-hander. Brian Heskett, batting .197, did them one better, homering to left to end the game. 4-3 Thunder. Williams 1-1; Bedrosian 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 4 K;

Nothing in these damn flyover states but flat land, empty hopes, and the dust of teams’ past glory being blown towards ******* Nebraska.

Game 2
POR: 1B Monge – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 3B Caskey – CF Maldonado – SS Williams – P Sabre
OCT: LF E. Moore – 3B Martell – RF Marz – 1B D. Cruz – C Urfer – CF Ringel – 2B Kuhn – SS Kalinowski – P Bryant

The Thunder scored first, in the second inning, jumping five times on Raffaello Sabre and especially the miserable clown show around him. Only Rick Urfer’s leadoff jack was earned. Everything else was probably deserved, but unearned in the scorer’s judgment, with Jimmy Kuhn’s single and Josh Kalinowski’s full-count walk with one out being followed by a 2-base throwing error by Kilmer on Bryant’s bunt, another fumble error by Trevino on Moore’s grounder, and then a run-scoring grounder and an RBI single by Al Martell and John Marz, respectively, five runs in all, four unearned. The game was of course in the bin; **** the lone run brought in by Maldonado on three singles in the fourth inning. When Maldonado was back up in the fifth, it was with the bases stuffed with Trevino, Kilmer, the two dastardly sinners, and Jon Caskey. He grounded out to short, stranding the whole lot o’ them.

Forsaken, Sabre held his post through five innings before Ledford hit for him and singled in the sixth. Monge then hit into a double play. The Raccoons used the game to see Jose de Leon in action for a few innings. He allowed one walk but nothing else in the bottom of the sixth. In the bottom of the seventh, he gave up four hits, including a homer to Cruz, nailed a guy, and was torched for four runs before Mauricio Garavito waved a fifth across with a pinch-hit Heskett single. The inning only ended when Heskett, the despicable punk, was caught stealing by Kilmer with a nine-run lead. 10-1 Thunder. Caskey 2-3, BB; Maldonado 2-3, RBI;

I’d throw myself into one of those electrified cattle fences, but who wants to hang dead over a fence in ******* Oklahoma??

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Trevino – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 1B Anderson – C Morales – SS Williams – P Chavez
OCT: LF E. Moore – 3B Martell – RF Marz – 1B D. Cruz – C Urfer – 2B Kuhn – CF Heskett – SS Kalinowski – P Inderrieden

Bernie pitching? Tee-hee. Just get it over with.

The dismal Coons couldn’t score even when Bernie Chavez hit a leadoff single in the third and was balked into scoring position. In the fourth of a scoreless game, Greenway and Hooge dinked singles, Tony Morales was nicked, and Greenway was sent in blind despair when Williams popped out to center, scoring solely on a bad throw by Heskett for the first run of the game before Chavez struck out. On the other paw, there were only three hits off Chavez in the first five innings, with two of those dealt with in double play form. Then of course the Thunder had three hits in quick succession in the bottom 6th, Kalinowski and Moore and Martell all slapping singles. Kalinowski scored, and the others advanced on Fernandez’ futile throw to home plate. John Marz’ grounder to third base left them pinned, and Cruz’ easy fly to Greenway left them stranded, but the lead was gone and the Raccoons would never get another….!!

Top 7th, Morales and Williams reached base leading off against Inderrieden before being bunted over by Bernie. Berto zinged a ball past Danny Cruz for an RBI single, 2-1, and Cosmo hit a ball up the leftfield line for an RBI double. Manny’s comebacker and Greenway’s grounder to first then deflated the inning, but Bernie would get around Urfer’s double in the bottom of the inning and log 7.1 innings total before arriving at the left-handed top of the order again while sitting on 99 pitches. Garavito gave up a pair of singles to Moore and Martell, and Prieto surrendered another one to Marz, that one plating a run, 3-2. Cruz somehow bowled into a 4-6-3 when the Thunder were seconds from victory. Instead the Raccoons won, despite Campbell walking Urfer to begin the ninth inning. Heskett, who had won the game for the Thunder on Friday, lost it this time with another 4-6-3 helping. 3-2 Blighters. Ramos 2-4, BB, RBI; Trevino 2-5, 2B, RBI; Hooge 2-4; Chavez 7.1 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, W (4-7) and 1-2;

In other news

June 20 – Walkoff balk! LAP SP Eric McKee (3-3, 4.94 ERA, 3 SV) twitches to have Denver’s RF/LF Kyle Beard (.260, 2 HR, 22 RBI) awarded home plate for a 10th-inning, 4-3 Gold Sox win.
June 20 – NAS 3B/SS Brad Critzer (.266, 0 HR, 5 RBI) is out for a month with a broken foot.
June 22 – More than four hours of 11-inning madness between the Capitals and Rebels ends in the bottom 11th, with the Rebs walking off for a 15-14 win on an unearned, bases-loaded walk to RF/LF Jonathan Fleming (.280, 12 HR, 52 RBI) issued by Ricardo Patino (0-3, 5.26 ERA).
June 24 – The Knights acquire OF George Hawthorne (.231, 4 HR, 23 RBI) from the Bayhawks for MR Mike Simcoe (4-3, 5.76 ERA, 1 SV) and a prospect. Both main ingredients in he deal are north of 37 years old.
June 25 – CHA INF/RF/LF Jose Farfan (.312, 6 HR, 40 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak after landing an RBI double in a 10-8 loss to the Indians.
June 25 – Bone chips in his elbow will render LVA SS/2B Chris O’Keefe (.219, 3 HR, 20 RBI) out until August.
June 25 – SFB OF Mike Hall (.274, 2 HR, 16 RBI) will miss three weeks with a bruised wrist after being hit by a pitch.
June 26 – The Stars are exploded to bits in a 25-4 rout against the Cyclones, with Cincy’s Juan Brito (.254, 6 HR, 35 RBI) going 5-for-6 with a walk, a homer, two doubles, and 7 RBI. His teammate Nick Rozenboom (.316, 15 HR, 53 RBI) adds another 5-for-6 game, with a homer and a double and 4 RBI. Jamie King (.273, 18 HR, 53 RBI) both drives in five and scores five times himself.
June 26 – IND SS Dave Serrato (.267, 2 HR, 14 RBI) drives in six with a triple and four singles in a 15-6 rush of the Falcons.

FL Player of the Week: RIC RF/LF Jonathan Fleming (.276, 13 HR, 56 RBI), hitting .440 (11-25) with 3 HR, 9 RBI
CL Player of the Week: TIJ RF/1B/LF Willie Ojeda (.334, 9 HR, 39 RBI), batting .440 (11-25) with 3 HR, 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

What is there to say? It’s June and we’re scouring the waiver wire. By July we’ll without a doubt make use of the player shopping hotline.

It’s all in pieces and can never be glued back together.

Fun Fact: At eight games out, the Raccoons would be in seventh place in the CL South.

(gives V sign with his left paw while slowly approaching a running and aggressively grinding blender with his right)