[Westheim]

Oh come on, Cristiano. You’re kidding me! You have won 25 times in a row! – (shakes fist and shows rock while Cristiano shows paper) Damn it! How do you *do* it?? – (shakes fist again and shows scissors, while Cristiano shows rock) This is impossible! – Stop grinning! – (shakes fist again and shows paper, Cristiano showing scissors) This can’t be. You look like any .420 team coming in here and winning the series with flying colors! – Yes, I mean your wheelchair. I underestimated you. I must change my game here! – (shakes fist once more and shows rock, Cristiano showing paper) Oh come on, you’re cheating!

(door to Maud’s room is broken out of its hinges and three black-clad guys in battle gear with plasma guns giving off a blueish hue pour into the room, poking their guns in every corner, before each of them yells “bezopasno!”)

(shakes fist while shaking his head and shows scissors, losing to Cristiano showing rock) Goddamnit!!

(Maud pokes her head through the door) I don’t know, Maud, whether the gentlemen would like a coffee, I don’t speak Russian very well.

(Nick Valdes leisurely comes in, getting shouted at by one of the stromtroopers before telling them something in Russian; one of the thugs goes hiding behind a not very covering plant, while two make their exit through closed windows, one breaking through the glass window next to Slappy on the couch, and the other thumping off the acrylic glass window overlooking the baseball field, twice, before crawling out of the door to Maud’s room)

Hi Nick. – No, Slappy, I wouldn’t clean this up, either.

Raccoons (18-18) vs. Crusaders (17-20) – May 16-19, 2039

First dips with the Crusaders for the year. They were in the bottom three in runs scored and barely mediocre in runs allowed. They did have the best bullpen in the league, but they had their hands full covering for a ninth-ranked rotation.

Projected matchups:
Ryan Bedrosian (2-2, 4.83 ERA) vs. Dave Hils (2-5, 4.85 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (5-0, 2.13 ERA) vs. Gabriel Lara (0-5, 7.29 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-2, 3.18 ERA) vs. Casey Pinter (2-0, 2.79 ERA)
Jose Alaniz (1-1, 4.12 ERA) vs. Jamal Barrow (1-1, 3.12 ERA)

Three right-handers, except for Pinter on Wednesday? It was hard to tell; there was some flux in their rotation ever since trading Bill Quintero to Tijuana on the 8th of the month. Pinter f.e. had only pitched out of the pen so far this season. He had 16 starts and 62 relief appearances in the years before. Hils would also start on short rest, like he needed that extra challenge.

Game 1
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – 2B Russell – RF Salek – CF Besaw – 1B Rudd – C J. Herrera – SS J. Adams – P Hils
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – 2B Brito – 1B Anderson – SS Williams – P Bedrosian

Dave Hils singled after Bedrosian had retired eight in a row, but left with shoulder discomfort in the bottom of the inning which wasn’t going to help the Crusaders’ staff going forwards. Lefty Todd Lush replaced him, gave up singles to Manny and Greenway, then a 2-out, 3-run homer to Jeff Kilmer for the first runs on the board. Nick Valdes nodded excitedly, and even the stormtrooper-containing plant jiggered in celebration. The Raccoons got their own injury an inning later, with Elijah Williams racing home from second on a Berto single to right, making it a 4-0 game, but he did not make it back out for the fifth inning, having tweaked his back. Maldonado replaced him.

Bedrosian did not allow a hit to a position player until the seventh inning, when the Crusaders suddenly found the sticks. Chris Russell doubled leading off, beating Hooge in center. Joe Besaw doubled him home, then scored on a Tom Rudd double to cut the lead in half, 4-2. After a full-count walk to Juan Herrera Bedrosian was yanked, and Citriniti inherited the tying runs aboard. Jim Adams grounded into a fielder’s choice, and Ryan Carr struck out to end the inning. Bottom 7th, the Critters loaded the bags on 1-out singles by their 2-3-4 hitters against lefty Julian Ponce. Kilmer hit a sac fly to center, Brito hit a grounder that Adams cut off at the edge of the infield dirt, but had no play anymore, allowing Manny Fernandez to score from third base. Danny Monge hit for Anderson and was nicked, before Jesus Maldonado tried to dispel the slow rot with a fly to deep riiiii- GRAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!

That gave Portland an 8-run lead, and after a Travis Sims inning that was scoreless in the eighth the Raccoons felt emboldened enough to bring Ernesto Rivera again in the ninth. He walked Besaw, then struck out Rudd. The next three batters all singled, moving the tying run into the same zip code as the ballpark, so Rivera was yanked for Jermaine Campbell. It was not a save situation yet, but we wouldn’t want to ******* create one from an 8-run lead. Campbell then created one, allowing four runs on singles by Juan Garcia and Ramon Sifuentes, before retiring Russell and Rich Salek to end the game. 10-7 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, RBI; M. Fernandez 3-5; Greenway 2-4; Kilmer 1-3, HR, 4 RBI; Brito 2-4, RBI; Maldonado 1-2, HR, 4 RBI; Bedrosian 6.1 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 2 K, W (3-2);

(sits at high tea with Maud, Cristiano, Slappy, Nick Valdes, and the stormtrooper) I know, Nick, I know, but they *won*, in *your* honor. They don’t go out and win just every day!

Ernesto Rivera (67.50 ERA) was sent back to St. Petersburg. Infielder Steve Nickas was brought up to cover while Elijah Williams was day-to-day with back spasms, which could last for another few days. Nickas, 25, was a .216 batter in 176 at-bats over three seasons.

Game 2
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 2B Russell – RF Salek – CF Besaw – 1B Carr – SS J. Adams – P Lara
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Morales – 2B Brito – SS Maldonado – 1B Monge – P Sabre

Chris Russell went deep of Sabre in the first, collecting Sifuentes for a 2-0 deficit. The Raccoons got Hooge on in the first, but Fernandez hit into a double play, while in the second inning Troy Greenway singled and stole a base, then was thrown out at home on Brito’s single. The Critters only scored in the third on back-to-back leadoff doubles by Danny Monge and Raffaello Sabre, with Berto reaching on a Russell error after that, moving the tying run to third base. Hoogey got it done, singling up the middle, but then the inning fizzled out with three poor at-bats, and the Crusaders took a 3-2 lead after leadoff singles by Russell and Salek in the fourth. Rudd plated the go-ahead run with a groundout.

Nick Valdes suggested more runs to take the lead, which was not an entirely terrible plan. A chance materialized in the fifth with singles by Sabre and Berto, a Ryan Carr error to put Manny aboard with two outs, and Troy Greenway came up with the bases loaded and two down, but popped out to first… Instead the Crusaders got another run off a slightly blunt Sabre, Besaw singling home Phillips in the sixth, 4-2. Maldonado and Monge reached with two outs in the bottom of the inning, but Brad Ledford whiffed pinch-hitting for Sabre… Garavito gave up a run in the seventh, with Gabriel Lara leading off with a double up the line. Garcia singled, while Sifuentes plated the pitcher with a double play grounder, 5-2. While the Raccoons proved unable to mount a challenge in the eighth, the Crusaders got two more runs out of a completely hittable Prieto, who even had the bags still loaded with one out in the ninth when Russell hit into a double play. Bottom 9th, down five, and with a grumbling owner hatching plans to sell the team, the Raccoons opened with a Jeff Kilmer double out of the #9 hole against John Hennessy. Berto grounded out, but Ed Hooge singled Kilmer home and Manny went yard, and suddenly it was a 2-run game with Julian Ponce entering. Greenway’s single brought up the tying run, and Elijah Williams pinch-hit for an 0-for-4 Tony Morales, but struck out. Brito popped out to Greg Ortiz at third base to end the game. 7-5 Crusaders. Hooge 2-4, BB, RBI; Greenway 2-4; Brito 2-5; Monge 2-3, 2B; Kilmer (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Our only victory here was Prieto hitting infielder Steve Sierra in the shoulder well enough to leave him day-to-day with a nasty bruise.

I know, Nick, I know. They lost. – Here, have some more cake, maybe?

We were in a long string of games and had to start weaving in some off days for regulars, too. Brad Ledford would sit down Manny Fernandez on Wednesday against righty Jamal Barrow. We surely expected a lefty pitcher on Thursday then, so a very mixed lineup was expected for that game since we’d not likely get another southpaw on the weekend.

Game 3
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – C D. Phillips – 2B Russell – RF Salek – 1B Rudd – CF Pohl – SS J. Adams – P Barrow
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF Ledford – RF Greenway – 2B Brito – 1B Anderson – C Morales – SS Maldonado – P Chavez

What was the worst thing? That the Raccoons played like *** or that Nick Valdes remained in town to consistently complain about it? In any case, the weather was iffy on Wednesday, and Bernie Chavez was no better, allowing a leadoff walk to Salek in the second, then an RBI double to Rudd. It was the pitcher, Jamal Barrow, to single home the first-sacker with two outs that made me contemplating stabbing the nagging Valdes to death with my cake fork, then doing the same to myself. I knew Maud and Cristiano wouldn’t hold me back, but wasn’t so sure about the stormtrooper in the plant.

The Crusaders added four runs in the third inning, taking a 6-0 lead. The bases were loaded right away, with Chavez balking in a run, allowing an RBI single, and Morales mixed in a passed ball for fun. Jim Adams’ 2-out single made it six then. And the thing was that the Raccoons had only six relievers in the pen to cope with the Williams injury, and Bernie Chavez hopefully didn’t think getting mauled by bears in the first three innings excused him from completing 100 pitches. He was hung out there to pitch another three innings, six in total, but then again the Crusaders didn’t bother anymore because the game was already in the bag for them and the bin for us. The Raccoons didn’t even get a base hit until the fourth inning, when Ed Hooge singled, and didn’t reach scoring position until the sixth when with Maldonado on first, Danny Monge hit a pinch-hit double to right. One run on a Ramos sac fly was all the Raccoons got, and instead the Crusaders got two runs off Travis Sims in the eighth. Pat Pohl singled, Jamal Barrow tripled (…), Nick Valdes was very upset, but Barrow of course scored right away on Juan Garcia’s single. We then sat through an hour-long rain delay in utter silence, which was very comfortable, before the game concluded with not much action at all in the last inning and a half. 8-1 Crusaders. Monge (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Interlude: Trade

Thursday brought a new Raccoons reliever in right-hander Chris Miller (0-0, 0.00 ERA, 1 SV). The 32-year-old had only been in four games for the Blue Sox this year, having only signed a contract in April.

Miller had been a Raccoon once before for a month in 2035, then acquired from the Cyclones before nearly burning the clubhouse down and being released. It didn’t matter. We needed an arm.

The Blue Sox received lifelong failure 1B Chiyosaku Maruyama in the deal, while we go the vice-president of the Second National Association of Registered *****, or SNARC for short.

Steve Nickas, who went 0-for-1 in two days, was sent back to AAA to make room on the roster.

Raccoons (18-18) vs. Crusaders (17-20) – May 16-19, 2039

Game 4
NYC: LF J. Garcia – 3B Sifuentes – 2B Russell – C D. Phillips – CF Besaw – 1B Rudd – SS J. Adams – RF Salek – P Pinter
POR: 2B Brito – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – SS Maldonado – RF Ledford – 1B Monge – 3B Hernandez – P Alaniz

This game looked like a budding disaster just from the lineup alone (never mind the arrival of seemingly random daily roster moves), but at least the Coons took a lead, Kilmer singling home Manny Fernandez, who had doubled, all with two outs in the first. Monge (single), Hernandez (nailed), Brito (walk) loaded them up with two outs in the bottom 2nd, but Hoogey whiffed. The next inning saw not only Alaniz holding on by the barest thread, but also Brad Ledford limping off after legging out an infield single. “Lower back” was the call by Dr. Padilla, who prescribed icing, but didn’t tell anybody what to do in terms of replacement. The Raccoons’ bench was not constructed in a way to allow either Berto or Troy Greenway to continue their day off. The latter removed the bib and changed from eating to playing pants and would thus bat sixth from here on out. The inning continued with Monge, who had Manny and Greenway on the corners with two outs, got drilled to fill the sacks, and then Joel Hernandez randomly went yard to right – GRAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAMMM!!!

The pint was consumed by the fourth, Ed Hooge tripling and scoring on a Fernandez single ending the lefty’s day in a 6-0 game. We then waited for the budding collapse that Alaniz had hinted at repeatedly in the early innings, but after walking two in the first few innings he found control over his pitches and by the middle innings he steadily clicked off New York batters. Tom Rudd with two outs in the fourth was the last base runner for the Crusaders before a string of 1-2-3’s ensued that carried Alaniz all the way into the ninth inning, but admittedly on fumes and 99 pitches. When he walked Sifuentes to begin the inning, the plug was pulled instantly. New acquisition Chris Miller got into it right away, walked Devin Phillips, but got out of it without allowing a run. 6-0 Coons. Fernandez 2-3, BB, 2B, RBI; Monge 1-2, BB; Hernandez 2-3, HR, 4 RBI; Alaniz 8.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 7 K, W (2-1) and 1-4;

I know, Nick, I know. – This team makes you insane. Same for me! – So you leave now because they left you with nothing to complain about? – No, no, don’t feel obliged to stay. No, no. – Alright, farewell. Farewell. – (door closes behind Valdes) – Nick? … Nick! … You forgot your stormtrooper!!

Raccoons (20-20) vs. Falcons (16-25) – May 20-22, 2039

The Falcons were horrendous. But the Raccoons would show you a magic trick to make them look like serial All Stars right after the introduction! Charlotte had lost seven in a row, while the Raccoons had hugged .500 as tightly as possible for more than a week. They were eighth in runs scored, sixth in runs allowed, and the masters of the 1-run loss, being 5-15 in these tight games. We had won five of the nine games in the season series last year.

Projected matchups:
Bryce Sparkes (2-4, 3.58 ERA) vs. Keith Black (1-4, 4.20 ERA)
Ryan Bedrosian (3-2, 4.56 ERA) vs. Matt Moon (0-2, 3.52 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (5-1, 2.54 ERA) vs. Jose Lerma (0-6, 3.76 ERA)

Southpaw on Sunday after all!

The Raccoons now had two day-to-day casualties on the bench, with both Elijah Williams and Brad Ledford both hampered by stinging backs for at least another day. All that remained beyond those two was a spare catcher, a spare first baseman, and one leftover infielder with Maldonado continuing to man short in lieu of Williams, which *did* allow for Ed Hooge’s hot paw to remain in the lineup.

Game 1
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – SS Aparicio – 3B Farfan – C M. Cook – LF Esperanza – RF Salto – CF Aarhus – 1B Blades – P Black
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 2B Brito – C Kilmer – 1B Anderson – SS Maldonado – P Sparkes

The Falcons broke through Sparkes in the second inning, with a Ruben Esperanza single, Greg Aarhus walk, and Brett Blades’ ribs catching a baseball loading the bags with one out against Sparkes, who then fumbled Black’s grounder for an infield single. 1-0 became 3-0 on Oscar Aguirre’s double to left, before Tony Aparicio lined out to Maldonado and Jose Farfan hacked himself out. Mitch Cook opened the third inning with a single to center, but was doubled off by Esperanza. Salto reached instead, and was doubled in by Greg Aarhus, 4-0. Berto walked, stole a base, and was brought in by Manny in the bottom 3rd, but at that pace they would never win another game.

Sparkes, who pitched into the seventh, allowed a total of five leadoff singles, which was aggravating enough. Aguirre’s seventh-inning single was followed by an Aparicio pop, and then David Fernandez replaced him, getting out of the inning after nailing Mitch Cook. The Raccoons were still on one run on five hits and two double plays chumped into. Maldonado reached with an infield single in the bottom 7th, after which Black sat down another five Raccoons. The top 9th saw Citriniti being dismembered fully and completely, with Chris Robinson’s pinch-hit leadoff homer, a Maldonado error, an infield single, and then another bomb hit by Mitch Cook. Perversely, after falling 8-1 behind, the Raccoons rallied in the bottom 9th all of a sudden. Brito, Kilmer, Anderson all reached base against Jong-hoo Cho, who allowed a 2-run double to Maldonado, 8-3. Tony Morales grounded out poorly, and Berto plated a run with a grounder for the second out. Hooge reached, Manny and Greenway hit singles off Josh Livingston, and the winning run was at the plate in Jose Brito – who flew out to Aarhus. 8-6 Falcons. Hooge 3-5, 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-5; Maldonado 3-4, 2B, 2 RBI;

Nothing, Maud. I’m just staring into the plant, and wonder whether I should say something that makes the stormtrooper go mad enough to melt me with his plasma gun.

Game 2
CHA: 2B O. Aguirre – CF J. Reyna – 3B Farfan – LF Esperanza – RF Salto – SS Santana – C Alicea – 1B Blades – P Moon
POR: 3B Ramos – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – 2B Brito – 1B Monge – C Morales – SS Williams – P Bedrosian

Both teams had a 2-out runner in the first inning and both were caught stealing, so there was that. The first scoring occurred in the third inning with Ryan Bedrosian being undressed for the usual 4-spot, three of them earned, but the error involved was his ******* own. Brett Blades reached base to start the frame, with Moon’s bunt thrown away by the Raccoons’ tosser. Aguirre hit a soft single to load them up, and Jonathan Reyna and Ruben Esperanza both hit 2-run singles to give Charlotte a 4-0 lead. Another unearned run scored in the fifth, this time on a Monge error that put Esperanza on first with one out while Reyna jogged to third base. Salto then hit a sac fly to left, which would have been the third out without the Monge mishap.

The Raccoons had their own 4-spot in the bottom 5th, which started with Brito, Morales, and Williams all singling for one run. Ledford hit another single, loading the bases. Berto popped out, annoyingly, while Ed Hooge drew a bases-loaded walk, 5-2, and Manny singled in two, 5-4, before Greenway flew out to Salto. Moon then surrendered straight hits to Brito (double), Monge, and Morales to get the game tied in the bottom 6th, but the bases would remain loaded after a 2-out walk by Berto, with Ed Hooge flying out to center against lefty Chris Watson. Williams and Oliver Anderson had already made poor outs against Moon, leaving the game tied at five. Top 8th, Prieto walked the first two batters after a scoreless seventh, and when Garavito replaced him with PR Paul Vespucci and Salto on base, he got a grounder before nailing John Alicea. The Raccoons went back to a righty with Sims, but Charlotte sent lefty batter Chris Robinson with three on and one out. For their troubles they got another four runs on three hits Sims surrendered to Robinson, Aarhus, and Reyna before Hooge caught a Jose Farfan fly to end the inning.

Portland? Loaded the bases against Ernie Quintero in the bottom 8th. Monge singled, Williams singled, Kilmer walked in the #9 hole, bringing up Berto with one out, but Ramos flew out on a 3-1 pitch, the Coons only getting the sac fly run out of it. Hooge struck out, stranding two. 9-6 Falcons. M. Fernandez 2-5, 2 RBI; Brito 2-5, 2 2B; Monge 2-4; Morales 2-4, RBI; Williams 2-4, RBI;

“Monge mishap” is also what I name the $283,333 check I sign for him every month.

Game 3
CHA: CF J. Reyna – SS Aparicio – 3B Farfan – C M. Cook – RF Salto – 2B Santana – LF Aarhus – 1B Blades – P Lerma
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Williams – LF M. Fernandez – C Kilmer – RF Greenway – 1B Monge – CF Hooge – 2B Hernandez – P Sabre

Sunday’s early 4-spot was brought to you by Jeff Kilmer, mostly, hitting a 3-run homer after straight singles by the first three batters the Raccoons carted up in the bottom 1st. Lerma didn’t get an out until Monge flew out to left, with Greenway, Hooge, and Hernandez singles adding a fifth run. Sabre struck out, but Berto dropped a 2-out single into left, plating Hooge, with 6-0 the tally once Williams flew out to center. And now everything I asked for was Sabre being *decent*. Decent as a pitcher, and decent as a human being. *Decency*, Raffaello! *Decency*! Top 2nd, Mitch Cook was down 0-2 and homered, and I spontaneously kicked over the coffee table because I just couldn’t ******* take it anymore. THAT’S NOT ******* DECENCY!! YOU DOOR KNOBS!!! Sabre put two more in the inning, but none more scored. He didn’t finish the third though, coming out with back pain. Which was just wonderful. I AM ALSO IN PAIN ALL THE ******* TIME because of you DOOR KNOBS, and yet I AM THE LAST ONE TO GO ******* HOME EVERY DAY!!

The Raccoons had to pick 19 outs before they’d give up five runs now, which sounded just about impossible. The doctor ordered length, so we went to Travis Sims. The hope was to complete the fifth with him, and then piece it together from there, and he at least got through four before the offense stirred against Bobby LeMoine in the bottom 4th. Berto walked, followed by three singles. Manny plated Ramos for a 7-1 lead, while LeMoine left with his own injury before having to face Greenway with three on and nobody out. Greenway had no RBI for the entire week, but got one here for a groundout against lefty Chris Watson. Monge popped out, Hooge flew out, and the inning dissipated. Sims walked two in the fifth, but somehow wiggled out of there on a K and two grounders, then even batted a second time and doubled in the bottom 5th, although nothing greater came of that. After 3.1 scoreless from Sims the Coons got a quick seventh from Citriniti, and Chris Miller pitched the eighth for nothing more than a solo shot by Brett Blades. At this point we could afford taking a solo shot per inning; I was less enthusiastic about Blades’ 2-out, 2-piece off Jermaine Campbell in the ninth though… 8-4 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB, RBI; Williams 2-5; M. Fernandez 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Anderson (PH) 1-1; Kilmer 2-2, 2 BB, HR, 3 RBI; Greenway 2-5, 2B, RBI; Maldonado (PH) 1-1; Sims 3.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 3 K, W (3-0) and 1-2, 2B;

In other news

May 16 – The Loggers will be without 3B/2B Jared Paul (.296, 6 HR, 23 RBI) for three months. The 23-year-old sophomore is out with ruptured finger tendons.
May 18 – Wolves SP Nate Ward (1-0, 2.25 ERA) 2-hits the Gold Sox in a spot start, taking the 4-0 win.
May 18 – The Condors acquire almost-40-year-old 1B Jay Elder (.293, 0 HR, 8 RBI) from the Titans for INF Donovan Bunyon (.274, 0 HR, 5 RBI). Tijuana also receives a prospect, unranked CL Larry Thompson.
May 18 – The Scorpions take in SP Al Scott (2-2, 4.35 ERA) from the Capitals for RF/LF Ed Thompson (.6-for-18, 2 HR, 8 RBI) and a prospect, then add SP Tommy Kubik (2-2, 3.69 ERA) from Richmond, along with cash, for two prospects including #35 SP Gabe Blanco.
May 19 – Hard-luck ATL SP Chris Lulay (1-6, 4.18 ERA) is on the losing end of a 1-hitter, 2-0 against the Thunder. The only knock for Oklahoma is a solo homer by C Rick Urfer (.204, 1 HR, 4 RBI). The other run scores on two walks, a grounder, and a sac fly.
May 19 – NAS OF Stephon Nettles (.235, 0 HR, 2 RBI) could be out for the year with a torn rotator cuff.
May 20 – A groin strain rules out Scorpions LF Joreao Porfirio (.259, 1 HR, 9 RBI) for the next three weeks.
May 22 – Cincy’s SP Vinny Olguin (5-1, 3.63 ERA) spins a 3-hit shutout against the Warriors. He strikes out three in the 3-0 win.
May 22 – Especially impressive for a catcher, LVA C Danny Gomez (.299, 4 HR, 16 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak. The 23-year-old pokes two singles in a 2-0 win over the Crusaders to reach the mark on Sunday.

FL Player of the Week: PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.357, 15 HR, 43 RBI), batting .452 (14-31) with 3 HR, 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: IND 3B Dan Hutson (.249, 11 HR, 32 RBI), hitting .379 (11-29) with 4 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Sometimes, there are no words.

Sometimes, they just can’t get anybody out.

Sometimes, no matter who comes in, they’ll leave tire marks on your back.

Sometimes, even Capt’n Coma can’t help you anymore.

Sometimes, I just wanna go home.

(kills the light in the office with Maud, Slappy, Cristiano, and Valdes' stormtrooper still sitting around the toppled table)

Fun Fact: Alberto Ramos is on 1,998 career hits.

Maud, I assume he will want some cake for the occasion. And a few steaks. Ah, let’s just order half a cow covered in fudge. I can’t be arsed anymore……..

+++

I think the time for a day off has come … -.- … Although that could be in the form of dissecting the draft pool tomorrow. If I am not still busy pulling out all my fur by then…