[Westheim]

Raccoons (91-64) vs. Titans (74-81) – September 27-29, 2038

The Raccoons, who were out of it unless they won all their games, the damn Elks lost all of theirs, and then got a tie-breaker to go their way on top of that, hosted the Titans to finish off their home schedule for the year. We were up 8-6 on Boston, not that it mattered any. It hadn’t been enough. Nothing had been enough. Even Troy Greenway, who was one bomb away from setting a new franchise mark for home runs in a single season, had gone 0-for-15 in the catastrophic Crusaders series, and could not be expected to be enough for anything anymore. The Titans were fifth in runs scored, ninth in runs allowed, and had nothing left to spoil…

Projected matchups:
Steve Fidler (9-4, 2.64 ERA) vs. Andy Bressner (11-16, 3.59 ERA)
Jose de Leon (1-0, 3.00 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (5-4, 3.44 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (10-11, 4.40 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (20-7, 2.71 ERA)
Raffaello Sabre (9-11, 3.58 ERA) vs. Alex Aguilar (1-5, 4.13 ERA)

Monday was a double-header after an earlier rainout. Mario Gonzalez (the only left-hander about to come up) would go on short rest, while the Raccoons would give the ball to Jose de Leon again, this time for reals. De Leon had also been appointed to make a spot start on the original rainout date.

Game 1
BOS: 3B Gil – CF J. Davis – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C Dear – 1B Vadillo – 2B Santillan – SS Toney – P Bressner
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 2B Brito – 1B Stedham – P Fidler

Troy Greenway fittingly hit into a double play to kill a Maldo & Manny on-base appearance in the bottom 1st, and Maldonado flew out to center to leave the bases loaded with Stedham, Fidler, and Ramos in the bottom 2nd. Then the Critters were up 1-0 though, with Ed Hooge having also been on base, stolen second, and had scored on Brito’s groundout. While Fidler retired Boston in order the first time through, Manny opened the bottom 3rd with a jack to right, Greenway walked to at least reach base one way or another, and a Tony Morales double and another well-placed groundout by Brito made it 3-0. The Raccoons then got a walk and a single to load the bags for Berto, who flew out to John Davis in deep center to strand another three.

Fidler made it to ten Titans retired in a row to begin the game before John Davis singled to center. Moises Avila immediately hit an RBI double into the left-center gap, putting Boston on the board, but the Raccoons countered with a Manny Fernandez RBI double in the bottom of the inning, bringing home Maldonado and his leadoff walk. Manny was stranded, though. By the sixth, Manny was a triple shy of the cycle with a bloop single into shallow center, and he would come back to the plate in the bottom 8th, then with Myers (single) and Maldo (plunk) on base against righty Sean Bastone and one out. He popped out. Greenway lined out to Jose Santillan, remaining hitless for his last 19 attempts. Jermaine Campbell then put the game away after setup work by Travis Sims. 4-1 Coons. Maldonado 2-3, BB; M. Fernandez 3-4, BB, HR, 2B, 2 RBI; Myers (PH) 1-1; Fidler 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, W (10-4) and 2-3;

The damn Elks got shoved around for 11 runs in a loss to the Indians on Monday, so this first game kept the Raccoons mathematically alive. The Raccoons would have only two returning players for the second leg of the double-header, and only Greenway would play the same position; Maldonado switched to center. The Titans only sent in a different catcher.

Game 2
BOS: 3B Gil – CF J. Davis – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – 1B Vadillo – 2B Santillan – C Raydon – SS Toney – P M. Gonzalez
POR: 3B Myers – 2B Vickers – CF Maldonado – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF Castro – SS Williams – 1B Maruyama – P de Leon

De Leon exploded for two walks, an RBI single by Avila, another walk, and Jeff Kilmer chipped in a throwing error for good measure to give the Titans a 3-0 lead in the top 1st (two runs were earned). The second began with a Mike Toney single, the runner stole second, and de Leon misfielded Gonzalez’ bunt to third base, where Toney was already brushing himself off. Antonio Gil hit a sac fly to ******* deep center, 4-0, before John Davis grounded into an inning-ending double play.

De Leon lasted five innings, allowing as many runs (four earned), while the Raccoons were held to one hit by the short-rested Gonzalez, which was just a fitting way to be eliminated mathematically – they had been eliminated spiritually quite a while ago… Kilmer hit a jack to begin the bottom 5th, which was only the Critters’ second base knock, and Alex Castro and Chiyosaku Maruyama reached base on a walk and a nailed batter as Gonzalez suddenly came apart. The Titans yanked him two outs short of qualifying for a W, with righty Chris D’Angelo replacing him just when the Coons’ #9 spot was up. Ledford pinch-hit and struck out, and Myers grounded out poorly to end the inning. The Coons went to Chris Womble, who was taken deep by Santillan to restore a 5-run gap in the top 6th, and the Raccoons refused to get on base while the Titans tacked on two against a shambles combo by Gene Tennis and Ben Feist in the eighth inning. Rich Vickers hit a single off John Simenson in the bottom 8th that sent Dave Myers and his leadoff walk to third base with nobody out. Maldonado struck out. Greenway hit a sac fly. Kilmer singled, but Castro struck out. 8-2 Titans. Kilmer 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; M. Fernandez (PH) 1-1;

(silently opens another bottle of Capt’n Coma by breaking the neck off against the couch table, then shoves the jagged rest of the neck into his snout)

Game 3
BOS: 3B Gil – CF J. Davis – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C Dear – 2B Santillan – 1B B. Mendoza – SS Toney – P Willett
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – C Morales – 2B Brito – 1B Stedham – P Chavez

It was 3-0 in the first again, this time with two singles, two walks, a sac fly, and another RBI single off Bernie Chavez, who would probably not be our Opening Day starter in ’39. Willett opened the second inning with a double down the line, scoring after singles by John Davis and Willie Vega. Another walk and another single brought another run home, 5-0. The Raccoons were retired in order the first time through, which included Jesse Stedham, the *******, flying out on a 3-0 pitch. And while Bernie Chavez was charged with another run on two hits in the fourth, the Raccoons got their first base hit in the bottom 4th. Manny Fernandez was on first base with a walk and two down when Troy Greenway, 0-for-23 and counting, hit a homing beacon right at Fernandez, who froze and was struck by the batted ball. Greenway was assessed a single, and Fernandez was charged an out and had received a sizable welt on his fat bum. Tony Morales hit a homer nobody cared for in the bottom 5th, just like nobody cared when Ed Hooge threw out Antonio Gil at home plate to end the top 6th, or when he did it AGAIN to Santillan in the seventh. There was hardly anybody in the ballpark except people paid to be there. The disappointment over this town was so thick that you could slice it with a knife. I could attest to it while I was bleeding from the snout. Maud tried in vain to offer a glass to me. – Leave me alone Maud, I want to drink from the broken bottle!! … Prieto gave up a run in the seventh. Davis and Avila hit back-to-back bombs off Francisco Pena in the eighth. It was all the same. 9-1 Titans.

Game 4
BOS: 3B Gil – CF J. Davis – RF M. Avila – LF W. Vega – C Dear – 1B Vadillo – 2B Santillan – SS Toney – P A. Aguilar
POR: SS Maldonado – CF Hooge – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – 1B Stedham – 2B Brito – 3B Caskey – P Sabre

Sabre was not lit on fire immediately, which was such an upgrade over the last few games. He did walk Davis in the fourth, though, and Davis stole a base that allowed him to score on Vega’s 2-out single for the first run of the game, while the Raccoons’ batters had completely tuned out for the last few games and could not be expected to reach base anymore. They had one runner aboard the first time through, then landed leadoff hits by Hooge (single) and Manny (double) to begin the bottom 4th. Greenway struck out. Kilmer struck out. Stedham hit an RBI single to tie the game, but Manny Fernandez was thrown out at home plate by Moises Avila.

Aguilar left injured in the fifthinning, with right-hander Tony Rivas taking over with Brito on first base. Jon Caskey dropping a single put Critters on the corners with nobody out, at least until Caskey was caught stealing. Rivas then scored the remaining runner with a wild pitch while Sabre was looking on bewilderedly, bat over the shoulder and scratching his left fuzzy ear. The inning ended on a K and a pop. Jeff Kilmer cashed Manny with a 2-run homer to left in the bottom 6th, extending the lead to 4-1, while Sabre soldiered through seven good innings before being hit for to lead off the bottom 7th. Berto grounded out in his spot, the Raccoons didn’t score, and the next thing Sabre saw was Citriniti being used to fill the bases in the eighth inning before Prieto came in to make his win go poof with a 2-out slam served up to Avila. I scared Slappy and Honeypaws with a primal scream that nevertheless couldn’t change the Titans having taken a 5-4 lead. When Kilmer drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 8th, Stedham, the *******, hit into a double play. Dave Myers hit for Caskey and singled off Mike Hugh to begin the bottom 9th. He was also never moved off first base. 5-4 Titans. M. Fernandez 3-4, 2B; Kilmer 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Brito 2-4; Myers (PH) 1-1; Sabre 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 3 K;

Maybe that’s why Sabre can’t get a winning career record. He’s playing on a team stuffed with morons.

The damn Elks clinched their first division title since 2012 with a 7-1 win over the Indians as the Loggers also kept crumbling away.

At least not in our faces.

How consoling!

Raccoons (92-67) @ Canadiens (101-58) – October 1-3, 2038

The skinny. First in runs scored. First in runs allowed. Coons up 8-7 in the season series. Which was for the ***.

Projected matchups:
Jared Ottinger (7-8, 5.27 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (19-7, 3.27 ERA)
Bryce Sparkes (18-7, 3.12 ERA) vs. Raymond Pearce (12-5, 4.01 ERA)
Steve Fidler (10-4, 2.57 ERA) vs. Alexander Lewis (12-10, 3.71 ERA)

Right, right, left. Not that it made much of a difference as I sat at home, holding onto Honeypaws for dear life, and just wishing for everything to be over.

Everything.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – 1B Maldonado – CF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – C Morales – 2B Brito – LF Ledford – SS Williams – P Ottinger
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – 2B Sprague – CF Pohl – SS Sibley – 3B Schneider – P Sealock

Ottinger nailed Johnny Lopez and Glenn Sprague in the first inning, and also walked Ryan Phillips, loading the bases before being anal-probed by Pat Pohl (2-run double) and Ross Sibley (2-run triple). So, that was Friday’s game dealt with, 4-0 in the first. Portland made up a run in the second on a Ledford double and Elijah Williams’ single, but what did any of this matter. I looked out the window, which offered a semi-obstructed view of the surrounding roofs and a bit of dark gray sky. It had gotten dark on the Raccoons.

When the third inning rolled around, Maldonado and Manny Fernandez reached base with singles off Sealock, who ran a full count against Troy Greenway, who was approaching the 1-for-30 mark in a spectacular case of the “nope, you’re not gonna”, until Sealock hung a breaking ball and Greenway parked it among some dismayed home fans wearing silly elk hats with huge plush antlers that could be made to clap in front of the head by pulling a piece of string. Nobody clapped antlers on that homer, which gave the Raccoons a new single-season franchise record with 39 and a tied ballgame. Yet, I sat motionless on the couch. I was beyond feeling joy. Beyond redemption. And beyond salvation.

The Raccoons stuck to Ottinger until he reasonably exhausted his allowable pitch count. Since the game didn’t matter anymore – nothing did, really – we took the opportunity to get some more data on perhaps our most maddening pitcher at this point. After the early explosion, the strung together five scoreless innings on three hits and a walk before reaching just over 100 pitches and being excused further exposure. He was left with a no-decision since the middle innings had been entirely scoreless. Fernandez and Greenway were aboard against Jeremy Bloedow in the seventh inning, but Morales popped out and Brito whiffed to end the inning. Bloedow hung around for the eighth. Ledford singled, and a walk was drawn by Ed Hooge, hitting for Pena. Berto dropped a ball between Jesse LeJeune and Ryan Phillips in left-center, breaking the tie with an RBI double. Maldonado walked before Natanael Abrao inherited the mess and allowed a sac fly to Fernandez. Greenway got hold of a 2-1 pitch and crashed a fastball for a 3-run homer, the first Raccoon to ever hit 40 in a season. Honeypaws’ whiskers twitched. Mine didn’t. Ed Hooge drove in Ledford with two outs in the ninth to reach double digits, like that could coax a reaction out of me at this juncture. 10-4 Raccoons. Maldonado 2-4, BB; Greenway 4-5, 2 HR, 6 RBI; Ledford 2-5, 2B; Williams 3-5, 2B, RBI; Hooge (PH) 1-1, BB, RBI;

(looks at Honeypaws)

Meh.

Don’t you shake your head on me, mister!

Game 2
POR: 3B Ramos – 1B Maldonado – LF M. Fernandez – RF Greenway – CF Hooge – 2B Brito – C Morales – SS Myers – P Sparkes
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – SS Cabral – 2B Morrow – 3B Ashley – P Pearce

Berto opened the game with a walk, then stole second base. After two ineffective outs, Greenway and Hooge slapped back-to-back RBI doubles around Jerry Outram, who was a month from being named Player of the Year. Pearce walked Brito, then gave up an RBI single to Morales. Dave Myers legged out an RBI single on a confused defense’s messed-up approach to an infield roller. Sparkes, batting pennies on the dollar, struck out to end the inning with a 4-0 lead. The second inning saw a Berto double, him scoring on a Manny single, and then Greenway pumped another baseball into the midst of the antler wagglers above the rightfield fence. The ball was thrown back onto the field, but that still made it a 7-0 game on Pearce’s dead body. Not that any of this excited me. I was dead inside.

Pearce would be charged with nine runs in 2.2 innings, with Berto bringing home Myers in the third inning before Nick Lutz took over, but he gave up a triple to Maldonado right away. Manny walked, bringing up Greenway, who flew out to Phillips to end the frame. Sparkes was solid through three before giving up homers to Outram and Phillips in the fourth, reducing the lead to 9-2. Sparkes would tack on another eight outs after that, leaving with two outs and Alex Perez on second base in the seventh inning, having thrown 114 pitches, ten of them in a lengthy battle to Johnny Lopez ending in a K. Soung came in and gave up a homer to Outram, which was probably something we’d see more often through the rest of his Hall of Fame career. Phillips went back-to-back with him just like they had in the fourth inning, and suddenly it was almost a baseball game again, since the Raccoons had gone to bed and had not tacked onto their nine early runs off Pearce. Ed Hooge answered with a 3-run homer off George Barnett, plating Fernandez and Greenway (who had been walked intentionally) in the eighth. The damn Elks got only one more run off Chris Womble and David Fernandez in the ninth inning in their second waffling in as many days. 12-6 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; M. Fernandez 2-4, BB, 2B, RBI; Greenway 2-4, BB, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Hooge 3-5, HR, 2 2B, 4 RBI; Myers 2-4, BB, RBI; Castro (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Honeypaws, I like you a lot less when you are so needlessly happy.

Stop singing.

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – 2B Brito – RF Greenway – C Kilmer – LF M. Fernandez – CF Castro – SS Williams – 1B Vickers – P Fidler
VAN: LF A. Perez – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – RF R. Phillips – C Clemente – 2B Sprague – SS Cabral – 3B Ashley – P A. Lewis

This was the 1,709th major league game for Alberto Ramos, all of them with Portland. But was this the final Raccoons game for Alberto Ramos? Who knew. The outcome of the game would hardly have any implications on whether him and the Coons would sign another contract.

Jose Brito homered off Lewis in the first for a 1-0 lead. Jerry Outram countered with a 2-piece in the bottom of the inning, plating Alex Perez. Greenway answered with a solo jack in the third, again into the antler wiggler crowd that were by now mighty tired of him and his act. There was also a rain delay in the bottom of the third, after which Outram hit a 1-out double that before long led to the bases being loaded, but Ramon Cabral flew out to center to strand all the runners. The rain would cut Fidler’s outing down to five innings because he before long came apart from a command point of view. He nailed Outram in the bottom 5th, but the runner was caught stealing to end the inning, keeping the game tied. A second Brito homer (!?) off Lewis then put him in line for a W in the sixth inning, giving the Critters a 3-2 lead.

Alex Perez legged out an infield single with one out in the bottom 7th, the first Elk put on base by Travis Sims after getting in four outs. When Fernando Alba pinch-hit for Lopez, the Raccoons opted for David Fernandez, with three left-handed bats lined up now. He entered in a double switch (Maruyama for Vickers at first base), then had Perez on third base when the runner stole second and advanced on Kilmer’s errant throw. Alba struck out, setting up a staring showdown with Outram with the tying run on third and two outs. The count ran full – and then Fernandez punched Outram out, blasting him with a high fastball to end the inning. Maruyama led off the eighth with a double, which led nowhere, and in turn the damn Elks tied the game on Prieto in the eighth. Sprague singled, Cabral doubled him in, 3-3. Pat Pohl, Alex Perez, and Derek James then loaded the bases against Yeom Soung in the bottom of the ninth – and with nobody out. Outram was back at the plate, looked ready for murder, and drew ball four in a full count. Murder, he did. 4-3 Canadiens. Brito 2-3, BB, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Castro 2-4; Maruyama 1-1, 2B;

See, Honeypaws? It was all for naught.

All your euphoria was for nothing, too.

Whatever. I’m going to bed. Are you coming?

I don’t care whether it’s 4pm. This day is over.

Yes, you can lie on top. Of course. You always do.

In other news

September 28 – The Thunder’s SP Brian Frain (9-12, 3.03 ERA) spins a no-hitter against the playoff-hopeful Falcons, who draw three walks but never get a ball to fall in. The Thunder win 7-0. This is the sixth no-hitter in Thunder history, with Frain joining Alex Lindsey (2008), Brian Furst (2017, 2018), and Bryan Hanson (2020, 2023) in the record books.
September 30 – A Condors loss to the Bayhawks gives the CL South to the Falcons, who lose to the Thunder themselves. The Falcons make the playoffs for the first time since 2022.
September 30 – SAC 1B Chris Sandstrom (.259, 20 HR, 78 RBI) is likely to miss time at the start of next season, having broken his kneecap with days to go in the season.
October 1 – The Knights erase a 4-2 deficit in style in the seventh inning of their game against the Falcons, scoring a full dozen times before making three outs. Two different Falcons pitchers – Lorenzo Campos and Robby Gonzalez – each face four batters without retiring anybody. Atlanta eventually wins, 15-9.
October 2 – The Miners clinch the FL East with a game to spare, shutting out the Cyclones, 8-0, while the Blue Sox post their third straight loss against the Capitals.
October 3 – The Wolves take the FL West despite losing to the dismal Pacifics, 2-1, thanks to the Scorpions rallying for all their runs in the eighth inning of a 5-4 win over the collapsing Warriors, who finish one game out after the blow-up.
October 3 – The Loggers’ SP Carlos Padilla (18-6, 3.03 ERA) 2-hits the Titans on Closing Day, claiming the 4-0 win.

FL Hitter of the Month: PIT 1B Danny Santillano (.283, 25 HR, 109 RBI), hitting .367 with 6 HR, 24 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.373, 29 HR, 107 RBI), hitting .374 with 4 HR, 15 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SFW SP Tony Galligher (14-7, 3.45 ERA), hurling 4-0, 1.37 ERA, 32 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: VAN SP Eric Weitz (21-8, 2.94 ERA), tossing 5-1, 1.61 ERA, 33 K
FL Rookie of the Month: RIC RF/LF Jonathan Fleming (.253, 18 HR, 57 RBI), hitting .333 with 8 HR, 24 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: VAN 2B Glenn Sprague (.300, 14 HR, 69 RBI), hitting .330 with 3 HR, 14 RBI

Complaints and stuff

At least we had Troy Greenway. Jeff Kilmer, Tony Morales, Manny Fernandez, and Brad Ledford hit a combined 43 dingers. Our Troy Toy alone hit 42. At least we had that.

I guess there’ll be a season next year, too.

It’s always next year, isn’t it?

Fun Fact: Between playoff appearances in 2022 and 2038, the Falcons finished in the bottom two in the CL South 14 out of 15 seasons.

The lone exception was 2036. They finished a mighty fourth at 81-81, the only time they didn’t post a losing record in the sequence of failure.